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Port Mafia - Blog Posts
A/N - Hello sweeties, I couldn't write chapter 2 yesterday because of the poll, looks like you guys picked both Chuuya and Dazai hehe, I hope you enjoy this.
Chapter 1 ↑
.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*..・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*.・゜゜・✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
You were on your bed, thinking of how could you possibly join the Armed Detective Agency.. Hmmm... What if you pretend that you were evil, but want to be 'kind' now?.. No, too obvious.
what if you pretend to be an orphan who's an ability user?.. No, too weird, your 21 for goodness sake!
Hm... What if you just pretend to be a normal human who just wants a job?
That was kind of strange.. But for this paycheck you would do anything, literally.
And you decided to tell Chuuya your plan.
• CHUUYA'S POV •
Fuck.. Why do I feel this way.. Everytime I'm with them my stomach feels weird.. Do i- No!! I can't get distracted by them, I need to sign these documents..
*knock knock*
• 3RD PERSON POV •
As [Name] knocked on Chuuya's door, they couldn't help but think.
'Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember-'
(Sorry, what [Name] actually thought of ↓)
'Is there someone in the ADA that's gonna know who I am immediately when I walk in?'
"Come in" it was Chuuya's slightly muffled voice.
You opened the door and you swore you could see Chuuya's face Redden a bit.
"Oh, it's you.."
"The one and only, why is your face so red Chuuya? *gasp* don't tell me.. You have a crush on someone!"
"Wha-?! No I don't! It's just hot in here!"
"Yeah sure.. Anyways I have something to tell you...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Really? That's the ''Genius'' plan that you made up?"
"Hey! That's the best one that I could think of!"
"Whatever.. This may be your weirdest 'plan', but it may work, good job"
Achievement Unlocked! - Praise from the big bad executive :3
"Yay! Thanks Chuuya!"
"Your welcome..?"
---------------------------------------------------------------------
It was finally the day if the plan.
As you were walking down the street, you suddenly bumped into someone
They had messy brown hair, a long sand-colored trench coat, brown eyes and bandages literally almost every where
'Bingo'
"Oh! I'm really sorry sir, I wasn't looking at where I was going."
"It's fine..."
"Huh?"
"But Miss/Mr... Would you be willing to commit double suicide with me?"
Now that's a question our dear [Name] didn't expect
'This is the Dazai Osamu? He looks goofy..'
"THERE YOU ARE YOU TROUBLESOME BLOCKHEAD!"
Yelled out a voice that belonged to a man with dirty blonde hair tied into a low ponytail with glasses
His yell startled you, making you let out a little Yelp in Surprise.
"Oh! You found me Kunikida, Well done!"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WELL DONE?!"
"I-"
"Ugh, I'm so sorry for his behavior, Mx."
"Aha.. It's fine."
"Did he do anything to you??"
"No! He didn't, he just asked me if I wanted to commit double suicide with him.. "
"Ugh that bastar- are you okay Mx.? You look troubled"
"Ah, about that, I'm looking for a part time job"
"Oh~"
The man, Dazai moaned hummed (?), he then looked at Kunikida as if saying 'you know what I'm thinking?'
Then Dazai suddenly said..
"Then.. Do you want to join the armed detective agency, Mx.?"
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Hehe, can you tell that I forgot the entirety of episode 1? Did you also notice the genshin reference at the beginning?
Chapter 3 will be posted tomorrow, if I made any mistakes please tell me sweetie :)
Also, good luck on getting Alhaitham/Clorinde!
Also, question of the day ↓
Hii how are you doing? In case you still accept requests (if you dont than you can just ignore this its ok), I saw that rope with pm boss dazai, so I thought that i could ask something similar too. So there is this scenario where pm mafia dazai is in love with this female executive. He has known her for quite a lot of time now. Since he met her, the day when dazai entered the mafia and back at that time, she was a little bit older than him, maybe 3 years or so. Since then, he had a crush on her but wanted to wait until he became older to confess his feelings, but now hes pretty mature and wants to finally do it. His crush is a very cold and bloodykiller, but at the same time lovley and nurturing towards the ones she loves, including dazai. I hope this wasnt an awkward request, and for any grammar mistake i apolagize, english isnt my first lenguage. Other than that, wish you a great day 💜💜💜
request?: yes Summery: The cold, loyal and bloodykiller of the port mafia, gets swayed by the demon prodigy. Genre: fluff
A/N: Aaaa! this was so fun to write thank you so much for the request! I'm sorry if it took a while, I have been busy trying to juggle my life with me starting my new life and school + work as well. But I hope it satisfies your needs and If I made some spelling errors please let me know cause I did try my best- I promise- Anyways enjoy the fanfic!
The Interest In you started a few years ago, some months later after Dazai had Joined the Port mafia. Dazai was talking towards Mori, planning out future attacks as Mori has allowed him too, as part of his training back then.
That’s when you walked in, your stare cold as ice, as your combat boots could be heard clearly. Paperwork in your hand, as Dazai noticed he fell a little quiet when her gaze connected with his figure. “I’ve filled in the rest of my paperwork, Boss.” Your voice was as sharp as a knife, as you looked straight into the eyes of the boss. “Ah, Wonderfull, Y/n, Meet our newest Member of the mafia, The one who I will be lecturing and training, Dazai Osamu.” You gave a nod out of respect, not knowing what he was capable was, or what he was capable of doing. The boss had chose him for a reason, has he not? “Its very nice to meet you, in a shitty place like this, Dazai.” You really did spark up his interest. From that day forward, he was always surrounding you, His antics make you irritated but also enjoying the company. Since your one of the highest executives next to the boss, a lot of people feared you. But he seemed to pay no mind to your position, instead he seemed rather curious about you.
That really made you fond of him, as he and you were inseparable. The mafia wasn’t anything that works in the light, but dazai made your world a little brighter. So, when he indeed got the same position as you did, you were over the moon, as that meant he would be working more together with you.
But of course, you being you, acted cold on it.
“Y/nnnnnnn” Dazai whined as he entered your office, the suppliers you’ve been talking too basically getting startled by his behaviour and immediately bowed down. You on the other hand, just chuckled while looking at him. “Osamu, congrationlation must be in order for getting the executive position, growing up so fast-“ You teased him, which made him chuckle.
“No need to be so formal Y/n, besides I need someone to help me annoy Chuuya! Come onnnnn, it will be fun! You can just let someone else do your work!”
You sighed and smiled at the boy, laughing a bit. “Alright alright! I’m coming!” He beamed at your answer, as he grabbed your hand, desperately dragging you away, making the both of you guys smile a little.
Those smiles didn’t last for long though.
As years went on, Dazai got promoted to be the next Port mafia boss, after all He slit Mori’s throat with the same staple Mori used on the previous boss. Only you knew better though, as he had told you he sent Mori off, making him start his own orphanage.
You became someone he trusted into this mafia, and together he and you became the most powerful duo of the mafia, besides Him and Chuuya of course.
And That’s where you stand, years later, standing next to your partner and boss, as he scolds yet another group of workers for not doing their job correctly, they might not even be alive by the end of the day, but you never know with dazai. He sighed when the workers stepped out of the room, nodding at one of the guards at the door, as he heard yelling and screaming when the other guard closed the door. Dazai leaned back on his hair and groaned. “I’m paying idiots to do the jobs.” He whined as you just let out a soft chuckle, walking to the little table with paperwork.
“That’s the job Samu.” You teased, as he just softly glared at you, which made you let out a giggle. He looked over at you, signalling you to come closer to him. In curiosity, you did. “You have a nice laugh Y/n.” He complimented you, as his hand sneaked around your waist, making you slightly blush at the contact.
“I know you knew about my..attraction about me Y/n.” His word were flirty, as he pulled you up on his lap. “And by the look of your pretty face, I think you feel the same way.” He teased, as you just rolled your eyes, a soft chuckle escaping from your lips. “So, My question is..”
“Do you like me now?”
He was close, way to close.
But you didn’t move away, all you did was slowly close the gap between you and him. Your hands holding his face as his arms were around your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss began to turn into a steamy one.
“Boss we exposed the bodie-“ One of the guards came in, without warning, and before he knew it, there was a dagger inches away from his face. The color of his face turned white as soon as he saw his life flash before his eyes.
“We were in the middle of something.” You stated Coldly, as you saw him gulp, shaking a bit in his legs, showing your true identity towards him. He yelped and quickly shut the door, the dagger still stuck on the door itself.
Dazai looked at you with a soft chuckle, “well then!”
“Where were we~?”
Pm Boss! Dazai Osamu x reader
Request?: No Summery: Yokohama shined the brightest at night, but this night, even the port mafia had a little hope of shining.
A/N: Hello! Its been a while and I brought you guys a Dazai Osamu Fanfic, In all honestly Its Kinda OOC and its not my best work, but I hope you guys like it regardless. Any requests are welcome!
Yokohama shined the brightest at night, at least, that’s what you always thought.
You are used to the odd hours your job, Stay up till 5 in the morning and continue work at odd hours of the day. It’s something you have accustomed into your life.
At a young age, you were alone. Your parents have been killed in an accident involving the military, as they both were secret agents working for the special division for unusual powers.
It made you an orphan, surviving on the streets, fighting for the basic needs that a human ever needed. Life was really unfair.
A year after the death of your parents and living on the streets, was the day you was taken in. Only were you debating if it was a curse or a blessing. It all started when you stole some food from a small group of men, they looked like they owned the place around, with their hygiene clearly been taken care of.
You sneaked around the base, looking for some sort of resources, and finally found what seemed to be a break room, quickly grabbed the stuff that contained either water or food and ran out of there, grabbing a random bag as you ran away to safety.
Only back then, didn’t you realise exactly what and who you stole from.
Being in the ‘safe’ home you made for yourself (cause lets save it, its far from being a safe home) You looked through the bag you had stolen from the base, grabbing the food and immediately eating like some kind of animal. You looked into the bag, as your eyes widen.
Documents, Lots of documents, and they looked like they were important too.
The color in your face slowly drained of your face, making you pale as a ghost. You grabbed the files, scanning through them. Things as Deals of the black market, selling jewellery, gems, guns etc were revealed into these files.
You put too much on your plate, you couldn’t possibly handle this.
You jumped at an unfamiliar sound outside of the little abandon warehouse you had stumbled on. You grabbed the little pocket knife, for protection against whatever lurked outside the warehouse.
‘’Such a shame.’’ A voice suddenly spoke, making you immediately turn your head to the owner of the voice. ‘’All this hassle just for some girl, Boss really ought to hire better people and not some randoms off the street.’’ A boy, maybe around the same age as you, maybe even older, stated.
‘’I believe you have something of ours.’’ The boy questioned, but it really didn’t sound like a question at all. Behind him, were armed men, ready to strike as they seemed to follow orders of the teenager in front of you.
‘’Give the documents over, and your death will be a quick one.’’ He told you, as your hands were slightly shaking, as you quickly grabbed the bag. ‘’Not a chance asshole.’’ As you ran to the window, jumping out as the glass cut your already worn out clothing and skin. You landed on top of the buildings as you sprinted on the rooftops.
You jumped down, landing in an alleyway as you could hear the mysterious men scream in the distance. You sighed as you hid, and ran the other way the men were, bumping into a tall man with a white coat and a little blonde girl by his side.
You had no choice but to beg for safety, as you grabbed his sleeve. ‘’Excuse me sir you got to help me, I’m being chased and I really have to get to safet-“ As you were about to finish your sentence, The armed men suddenly surrounded both you and the man.
“She’s a quick one boss.” The boy from earlier showed his presence, as the men with the guns bowed down in front of the Man, who was the so called boss. “Would be a shame if we killed them off like that. They stole from the Port mafia and Almost successfully ran away, twice.”
Your eyes widen at the name of the organisation, your legs trembling slightly.
You really outdid yourself by stealing from the port mafia. “I’m sorry! If I knew I wouldn’t have-“ You plead but the boss just looked at you and cleared his throat, making you go dead silent.
“You have two options, Resist and die here, or come with us.”
You didn’t like the dying part, so you just nodded as you held onto the back bag,
And from that way on, your life changed completely.
You learned that the man who went as the name ‘Boss’, was named More Ogai, as the teenage boy at the time was called Dazai Osamu. They took you in, and made you become a killing machine. You were the partner of Dazai and the boy you later met by the name of Chuuya Nakahara. As they became known as Double black, your reputation is known as ‘Double blacks poison.’
Slowly you grew on them, Having an Sister-brother relationship with Chuuya, but your relationship with dazai, is a bit more difficult. It starts playful, but the tension of a rivalry has always been big between the two of you, at some point its so thick you can cut it with a knife.
You always tried to become better than Dazai, much to his amusement, it became a little game between the two of you. And slowly small bets and little mind games grew in between the relationship between you and Dazai.
When the time came that Dazai took the tradition of killing the mafia boss, which later on Dazai trusted you enough to tell that Mori didn’t die, but has started an orphanage somewhere away from Yokohama to live the rest of his life there, He became the new port mafia boss.
Which meant you were his Right hand Woman, next to His right hand man, Chuuya.
And so you are in this position, Standing in The boss his office, looking at the small city lights and the busy streets of yokohama. It was quite a view, you had to admit, as it looked over every part of yokohama.
“Are you staring off in space again?” The voice of her boss, shook her out of her thoughts. “I have told you that being lost in your own memories again isn’t the greatest thing you could have.” Dazai spoke, as you faced him once again.
He had become quite mature over the years, taking care of a business like this isn’t for some childish people, but his relationship with Chuuya and You has never changed, even if he became mature and handsome over the years.
Suddenly you felt your chin being lift up with a hand belonging to your boss.
You looked straight into his eye, the one that wasn’t covered in bandages, as a smirk covered your face. “How sweet, does the boss need his daily attention?” You challenged, hearing a chuckle escape from his lips.
“Your remarks have always been entertaining my belladonna.” He smirked. You just rolled your eyes, a taunting smirk displayed on your lips. It has always been like this and you wouldn’t dream of changing it in any way.
“Tell me Y/n” He suddenly spoke, sparking your interest, as you looked at him. “Would you die for me?”
The question itself sounds so absurd, but knowing the man behind the question, You knew exactly where this could lead. Gathering all the courage you could, you looked him straight in the eye and said.
“Yes.”
He just chuckled, still having your chin lifted up with one hand, while the other hand had grabbed your hips, pulling your closer to him. “That’s a dangerous game your playing Belladonna, But You like playing with poison. After all, you inflict others with yours and I think you poisoned me too, Belladonna~” The Name suited you, and never in a million years would you think that you would be put in this position with him.
You chuckled as you pulled yourself closer to him, looking at his lips. “Then..” You spoke as you leaned in a little, “I’ll gladly Play this game a take the risk.” You whispered as your lips met.
For that night, Yokohama shined a little brighter.
Its been...28 hours and 20 minutes..but I finished...somehow...
Idk if I like it or hate it 💔
HELP ME PLEASE OMG, IDK WHAT TO ADD IN THAT CORNER(ToT)
I did have Catzai but idk, I don't know if it fits....
Mini collab with @1konhaaa
They drew Chuuya and I drew Dazai <3
Dazai Osamu painting I did for my painting class. The painting is in grey scale except for the background.
tried out pixilart for the first time
i drew this on my phone with my finger at three in the morning 😭
i’m rereading some of the earlier bsd chapters and i really miss when it felt like a silly little dark humour sitcom revolving around the ADA and the PM. i realize that it’s not going to be like this forever and that asigiri is just building tension for the fight with fyodor, but i really want some of the silliness back.
You guys know what, I just got a midnight thought.
If we observe closely, then we will find out that four (main) members of Port Mafia had tried or wanted to leave it or have succeeded in leaving it.
First was Kouyou with the man, when she tried to run away but failed.
Second was Murase and Chuuya where Murase wanted Chuuya to leave Mafia but failed.
( I am pretty sure that if Chuuya had heard Murase's last words like Dazai did, there would have been 60 to 70% chance of Chuuya leaving the Mafia.)
Third was Dazai and Odasaku, where Odasaku on his last breath told Dazai to leave and he succeeded.
And finally we got Koyka and Atsushi, where Atsushi helped Koyka get out of Mafia.
So we can see a pattern here.
One wanting to leave but failed and dead, other wanting someone else to leave but failed and dead , another wanting other to leave, succeeded but dead and finally last on wanting other to leave, succeeded and alive.
This trying to leave Mafia pattern just got brighter with each attempt....
Just a midnight thought....
Since the society is being a little too mean to me, I'm 'bout to pull an Akutagawa Ryuunosuke and make him my whole personality, y'all.
♡ Pee pee poo poo. ♡
so I'm making this character, and I really wanted her ability to be called 'Mad Dog' because of the connotation. I was also researching stuff and found out the dangers of them, which I wanted to explore with her ability. At the same time, I really like the sorrowful meaning behind bulls and the masculine connotation that's had with them.
so could I like, combine it?? like, if the ability is called 'Mad Dog' could I get away with it actually being personified as a bull?
Especially in BSD, there's alot of sorrow being confused with anger, and anger with sorrow, etc. Like Dazai & Chuuya and Atsushi & Akutagawa, Ango & Dazai.
So, hypothetically????????????
poetry in motion ; dazai osamu
dazai osamu + gn! reader — a conversation by the sea. a morning of quiet contemplation.
author's note: was feeling mentally ill at 2am while listening to lana del rey unreleased and shat this out. can be read as both platonic and romantic! this is set between odasaku's death and dazai's departure from the mafia. i hope i portrayed pm dazai well enough. listen to some ocean sounds while reading for ambience. read on ao3 here. wc: 2930 words.
The foaming blue waves roll softly on the docks, the wooden boards of the pier damp and rotted over the years, silently standing against the ocean currents. The dock workers shuffle through the shipment yard in the early morning hours, sun risen but obscured by heavy clouds. The cold, salty breeze pricks the cheeks of the brunet, leaving a pink hue wherever they gently brush. He was here to watch the sunrise, took you with him, but the hours have already passed and he couldn't tell when the inky black of the night disappeared and was replaced by the greyish blues he sees now. It's always possible to miss things even when they are in your sight the whole time— everything slips past his fingers too easily.
You are still here beside him, wires tangled between the two of you, sharing earpieces; he's never been a fan of your tastes in music, but he's beginning to get used to it. The same way you've made your way into his life; unpredictable, unwelcome, yet needed. Puffs of fog hang around the two; winter's over, but it's still very much cold. Atleast, that's what he thought when he put his coat over your shoulders. It doesn't fit him, it doesn't fit you. Instead, it hangs off the edges of your shoulders like a heavy weight, meant for someone else to bear. Not him, not you.
The song repeats over and over, but he does not feel like clicking to the next one. The endless loop of songbirds, crashing waves, featherlight melodies; there is something comforting in familiarity. Even if it is merely temporary. The sky is empty and grey, so he naturally looks down below. The spot he chose for the two of you was perfect the night before, when everything shrouded in the cold blanket of the midnight hours, playing games and laughing about silly anecdotes to distract yourselves. Even as the both of you were covered in dried blood and sitting with trembling hands from the action of the evening before; it was absurd, but ignoring reality made everything a little bit easier, if only for the little pockets of time you both had. Anything that kept you both sane, wasn't it what you both wanted?
But now the night is gone and he can look at the drop down below, legs dangling off the edge; there's a vague feeling of disappointment somewhere under his skin. It's another day under the sun where nothing ever happens. The thrill of being on the edge of death will creep again at night, but daylight hours were largely sleepy affairs; everything that was worth happening only did once the sun went down. Atleast he has the solace of being around someone he actually likes the presence of. Your eyes flit over the scene down below. The shuffle of life looks distant from this height and when you strain your ears the garbled, vague voices of dockhands reaches your ears, but it's all so far away. There's always a quiet temptation that pulls on the mind; to leave this little bubble of fragile, short lived peace and join the waking world again, to cross this height and meet life where you can feel its signs. For there's no life in the dull chocolate brown gaze that you can feel affixed to the side of your face. Still, you like his company. He's easy to be around, even if he goes out of his way to be troublesome for certain people, like a specific ginger boy you're both familiar with. There is something deliberately performative about it, however; his dramatics are for his amusement, but there is a layer of irony so subtle in his excesses that sometimes, it feels like a mockery of something. Of what, you cannot tell. Your gaze doesn't meet his, mind consumed by the tides below, edged white with seafoam and painted a muted blue by the sky. It's not because you feel uncomfortable holding his gaze, like certain other people do—in truth you've always found something unique in it, because it's only natural that when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes back. Right now, however, you felt like any eye contact could ruin this moment, and once that happens, you both will begin the same loop that has defined this life for the two of you.
You're tired by this point. He can tell how you yawn every few seconds, and he knows he's kept you here for too long, but he's not one to ever feel satisfied when it comes to things like this. "Tired?" He asks flicking open his box of cigarettes and handing you one. That might just make you more sleepy, but you didn't seem to care when you took out cigarette from the box and flipped open your lighter. The blue flame lit the stick in his mouth first, then yours, and was shut with a flick of your thumb. "Kinda. You know, maybe we shouldn't have stayed up playing games all night. I think I'm gonna pass out and I can't even sleep in today, man."
"Your fault for asking for rematches for six straight hours. Your win-lose ratio is hilarious."
"I am not a quitter."
"That's right, you're a loser instead. So much better!"
"Shut it, mummy boy." You scoff, tapping him lightly on his arm with the cigarette in retaliation. It doesn't connect, but he doesn't spare a second before gasping. Though, it wouldn't exactly be the first time either of you have tried putting out cigarettes on each other. As a joke, of course. Punchline unknown.
"That hurt!!"
"I didn't even touch you."
"It's the principle of it!" He complained, resting his chin on the heel of his bandaged wrist.
"You're ridiculous, I swear. Next time, I'm gonna win."
"Wanna bet on that?"
"…No."
"Thought so." He huffed, exhaling smoke.
Petty things like this mattered little to you anyway. Even during the mundane minutes where nothing seemed to happen, you never bothered to cure your boredom anywhere else. Even when it would be so easy to point out that you really had no one better to be with, he never taunted you with it. There had grown a silent understanding between the two of you that he'd rather keep it that way. It's not that you had very few friends from a lack of trying either, but friendships in the mafia were mostly superficial. After one point, you had begun to retreat into yourself, at the very least, emotionally. It was simply the nature of things. Even when you tried to reach out to someone else and connect, it felt wrong. There was something unfit and dishonest about it, like trying to find love in a brothel.
Still, for the better or worse, you both were close friends, whether you both said it out loud or not didn't matter because where he is, there's always you not too far away.
When the silence falls again, the acrid smoke curls around the both of you in silence, dissipating into the morning air as you both watch. Once the wind begins to pick up, Dazai adjusts the lapels of the coat draped on you a little. A mundane gesture, but you appreciated it. Still…button ups and bandages couldn't be enough. "Aren't you cold?" He responds with a noncommittal hum. "Kind of, but it feels good." The ocean draft was cold, but soft. A feathery touch.
However, you'd rather not risk him getting sick, even if he would love the excuse to skip out on work. You shift the coat so that it is draped upon the two of you, the black trenchcoat enveloping the two of you. It fit better this way, you think, the weight of it not as heavy when shared. Dazai, despite his earlier nonchalance, does take the lapel on his end and pull it tighter on his shoulder. His bandaged fingers no longer tremble as much, fiddling with the beaded bracelet on his wrist instead, and the crab charm hanging from it. It's silly, but it hasn't left his wrist in years. Or yours. Underneath bandages, shirt cuffs and heavy black coats, the weight of childhood presses down with a gentle reminder. Don't forget who you were.
After all, people don't simply become anew when they grow up; rather the years build upon them like successive shells. The way nacre builds around pearls. But it always seemed to you like your shell was never hard enough for this place; every day felt uncertain, like being thrown into the deep end of a pool for the first time. Then there were the times where you felt like you could almost forget all of that, the little pockets of normalcy within the chaos. Normalcy with him. It wasn't enough, but it was enough to remind you that sometimes, it was worth it to be alive. You were only afraid that one day, it will no longer be enough. That there would be a day when your soul will be steeped in the same loneliness as his, the same mafia black that painted his life in broad strokes.
Still, you had your solace in the fact that Dazai too, seemed to be changing, even if it was in a way that was subtle for most people. He didn't seem to throw himself into death's welcoming arms as often anymore, or with the same passion. Something had changed, but you couldn't tell what it was. You didn't know how to ask, but you already knew that he wasn't going to answer. There was no explanation for it. You just knew. Looking down at the ledge, legs hanging off it, you wonder if his attempts had any merit. That perhaps you were simply desperate for any reason to hold on when you should've just given up and let go.
The port town is a little more lively in the morning now and the sounds that characterize this life still ring in your ears, though it is distant. Painfully so. When you look down at the drop below, gaze over the wooden dock and the turbulent waves, there is a strange thought in your mind. A sort of distressing temptation, some sort of a call that makes you want to close the distance that separated you from the rest of humanity. It appears out of nowhere, but stays in the back of your mind. A siren call to the ground that you don't dare answer. You pull your legs up and rest them on the concrete, slightly away from the ledge. His eyes follow the movement, but he says nothing of it. There was no explanation for it. He just knew. He does the same, placing his legs on the ledge instead of letting them dangle, an arm around your shoulders. "Dazai, can I ask a question?" Your tone was softer, less aggressive than it was during your banter. "Yeah, what is it?"
You extinguish the lit cigarette on the concrete. "You ever get that weird feeling? A temptation to fall? Not wanting to, but the thought feels…"
"…Compelling, yeah. Why do you ask?"
"I don't really know. I don't think I want to die. Sometimes I'm not sure of that either."
Dazai hums, a noncommittal sound. You've been changing lately too, this he knows, but not yet enough to truly consider such a solution. He knew you, how you seemed to still have some sort of a hope for living; a meaning that seemed to be lost on both of you but very much there. He had thought that the nature of death and unbridled vice that gripped the mafia would be enough to give him a reason to live, but some days, he feels a sort of unfounded jealousy towards you. That though you seemed to not know your reasons, you never realized the futility of your existence. Not in the same way he did. In that sense, your presence here felt out of place, discordant; sometimes he thinks if he shouldn't have dragged you down with him.
Eurydice, after all, is not supposed to follow Orpheus to hell.
But this story is all upside down and inside out, wrong in its very nature; meant to evoke a certain disgust in whoever witnessed it.
Even God would turn away.
"It's just a thought. You don't want to die." Dazai remarks, uncharacteristically sincere for once.
He wonders, how long will you hold onto that dying light in your eyes?
"Yeah. I mean, I don't think I do. It's just… living is so exhausting."
"And it's so easy to die, isn't it?"
You nod quietly, but don't agree with him entirely. It is easy to die, especially in the mafia, but you won't willingly seek it. The permanence of death still terrifies you, and you're not that courageous. You don't want to face the devil you know. You'd rather sit here on the ledge with the one you do.
"Maybe. But sometimes it feels worth it to be alive. And I don't want to miss that."
"Even if it's tiring and meaningless?"
"… For now, yes."
The look in his eyes has changed, softened to one of resignation, and it scares you. Even when you are looking straight at him, you can glean nothing from his eyes. You could vaguely guess what a person usually thought of by their expression. But he was different, he always was different; the times when you could tell what he felt merely off a glance were gone a long time back.
"I guess we can't see eye to eye on it, then."
He wonders if there would ever be a day where you start seeing what he sees; if there would be a day you'd come home with your hopes crushed and he'd be able to say something stupid like, I told you so.
He didn't know if he wanted that day to come.
Swallowing a lump in your throat, you observed his far off expression for a few more seconds, before looking away. The question that leaves your mouth feels jarring, without any proper forethought that can soften how rough it feels on the tongue. But it's not your fault there's only one thing you could think of at the moment.
"…Do you think people who can't understand each other can be friends?"
"Understanding or relating? They're different things."
That threw you in for another loop. The worst part was that you didn't even know. You know your friend's sorrows, you know the emptiness that runs through him more than anyone— yet you could never truly piece where it started and where it'd end, nor could you feel it in yourself. No matter how much you wished you could. "Either."
"I think… people should atleast be able to understand each other when they're friends, no? You can't really care about someone you know nothing about. Relating isn't that important, though."
"… Are we friends, then?"
The moment's silence is heavy between the two of you as Dazai thinks over your words. Were you his friend? Here, in the morning light, under the same coat, wearing matching crab bracelets? Maybe you are his friend, but he wonders if he knows what friends are even supposed to be like. You're not like Odasaku or even Chuuya, though with the latter he has a complicated relationship, yet could still call his friend sometimes. You two were close, but he was not blind to the very fundamental differences between the two of you. The chasm of hope that separated you. A space that'd only grow wider once he leaves, and he knows he has to. Still, for some reason he feels compelled to take your hand and hold it lightly in his. Are we friends, then?
"Yeah, I think we are." He answers, with a small smile on his face.
Ultimately, he didn't think any of it mattered. For the better or worse, after all, the both of you were together. Your faint, content smile at the confirmation makes him feel like it wasn't wrong to say it.
"Really? Well, that's good enough for me."
He had the urge to retort back with another quip, something that would derail the conversation and steer it back towards the usual banter; something familiar and easy between the two of you. However, this time, he doesn't follow through with it, instead stewing in the temporary discomfort that comes with sincerity. For once, he feels like being honest with you, even if it means not punctuating this heavy silence. Letting the sounds of the waves and the faint music in the shared earphones be the only voice in his ears. You seemed content with the same, still sitting by his side and sharing the coat, pinky fingers interlinked loosely.
Perhaps you did not need to understand his sorrow or feel it as your own, and he does not have to understand your exhaustion and hope for the future. Everyday is all anyone can ever have, and if these days were a little more bearable like this, there was no reason to deliberately cut this off. There is a passing thought; that perhaps in the coming days, when he finally decides to leave this teenage wasteland for good, he could take you with him. After all, where he was, you weren't too far away. If fallen angels exist, so do risen demons, and perhaps this time, Eurydice will make it back to the surface; for this story is all wrong, and that's alright.
I always find it funny how the Port Mafia was introduced like they were the ultimate evil and at this point, they're practically the good guys. The Agency and Port Mafia's relationship truly is the embodiment of "The enemy of my enemy is my Thematic Parallel™"
There's something so interesting about how the ADA is associated with cats the PM is compared to dogs.
How there's Atsushi, who is quite literally a cat (sorry, tiger). How Fukuzawa, the president of the Agency, is obsessed with cats and caring for them.
While characters in the Mafia are dogs. There's Akutagawa, the Rabid Dog of the port mafia. Chuuya, who's loyalty could be considered dogmatic. Who literally wears a choker, or "dog collar."
And then there's the fact that Odasaku constantly compares Dazai to a cat, especially in The Day I Picked Up Dazai. Like a subtle hint that Dazai doesn't belong with the Mafia. As a matter of fact, he hates dogs. He belongs with the Agency, the ones who are associated with cats.
You know what screw Dazai or any other character's backstory I want the next light novel to be entirely dedicated to exactly when and how Motojiro Kajii discovered he was immune to lemon shaped bombs
facts abt my post canon bsd au (mostly atsushi and ada centric)
◇ takes place 4 years after everything with the DoA and Hunting Dogs is settled
◇ atsushi grows his hair back out so it's a little past his shoulders
◇ sigma joins the ADA
◇ fukuzawa retires but still comes around to check on his kids former employees and is on standby in case of any future disaster
◇ kunikida and ranpo agree to co-lead the agency. kunikida takes care of most of the paperwork and employee affairs (pour one out for kida) while ranpo keeps an eye out for cases that could be DoA level threat
◇ everybody gets therapy 🥳🎉!! that government hush money compensation check for being attacked by the Hunting Dogs was partially spent on a getting therapists who could actually help them with their issues (pour another one out for the therapists bc the shit they have to deal with...)
◇ genderfluid atsushi (he/she/they), agender dazai (he/him or it/its), nonbinary sigma (they/he)
◇ kunichuuzai canon. dazai and kunikida got together first, then kunikida and chuuya and finally after many schemes dazai and chuuya talked abt their feelings for each other and got together shortly after
◇ atsushi joins a local community college because she realized she can do stuff for herself outside of working. he's studying literature
◇ kyoka and kenji tried to go regular school for a short while before they realized that that they hated it, so kunikida toutered them helped them get a GED (public school couldn't handle them anyway)
(Idt its that bad but just in case) tw: implied w33d usage, implied paranoia, implied hallucinations.
◇ reason why atsushi was finally sent to therapy was bc they were convinced to get high to help their anxiety (one guess who convinced them) and had a bad trip. they got extremely paranoid, mentioned times he would hallucinate and had several concerning statements about himself. when he sobered up the agency said they were going and she only agreed to go if dazai went and surprisingly dazai agreed to go.(dazai planned to go one session and was somehow conned by his therapist to continue going)
◇ found family dazai, atsushi, Kyoka
◇ but also blood family bc wow dazai and atsushi are half siblings!! (Their dad was a hoe, I'll get into in a separate post)
◇ atsushi's orphanage gets shut down (ada birthday gift for atsushi) and gets a documentary made due to the horrific treatment of the children there
◇ sparring buddies chuuya and atsushi
◇ kyoka, kenji, aya and q friendship
◇ after being turned into a vampire akutagawa has sharper canines than the average human and while his lungs are slightly better he carries any inhaler with him just in case
◇ atsushi has more control over his ability in the future and can now shift into his full tiger form on command and communicate with byakko
◇ dazai is also working to control his ability more and can now shut it off for a few minutes before it kicks back on
◇ byakko is a sentient ability similar to arahbaki. she has been around for centuries and has had many different hosts, one who was the author of The Book.
◇ how did they defeat fyodor? Uhhhh he got eaten by rats, turned into one, the tiger ate him and bc of ability bs he stayed dead next question
◇ dazai also has slightly long hair and now uses a cane
◇ tanazaki sibs finally work on their codependency issues
◇ yosano and tachihara go to lunch every few weeks to talk abt shunzen and bond
◇ akuatsulucy canon
◇ sigma and ranpo bet on random shit together and ranpo is surprised at how talented sigma is at betting
◇ ranpoe are long distance relationship atm but poe is making arrangements to move to yokohama
◇ mori steps down as head of mafia for...reasons and kouyou swifty takes charge of the pm (it was supposed to be chuuya but he threatened to leave the whole city and dazai agreed to help sooo kouyou)
◇ atsushi and lucy take edibles
◇ atsushi and yosano both hate being called angel. If you do it it's the fastest way to lose an arm
☆
ive got nothing else to add to this atm so I might make second part one day. this was made before the recent chapters and wildly ignores canon and is built off of most of my headcanons. Bye 👋🏽 👋🏽
Fukuzawa and Mori switched places?
Imagine after Natsume pairs Mori and Fukuzawa up for his plan Fukuzawa finds out about Mori’s plans to kill the current Port Mafia boss.
Imagine Fukuzawa beats him to it and kills the boss first in the hopes that he can at least make the PM into a lesser evil.
Imagine Mori founds the Armed Detective Agency to stay on the tail of the PM and hopefully get Fukuzawa arrested or at the very least force him out of the boss position…
Is it weird if I find him adorable?
Beep beep autistic car incoming
Ranpo: Am I in trouble?
Chuuya : Take a guess.
Ranpo: No?
Chuuya : Take another guess.
Mori : I need you to do that.
Dazai : Odasaku said I shouldn't.
Mori : If he told you to jump off a cliff, would?
Dazai : Bold of you to assume I need someone to tell me to kill myself
I have a very sad hc but HEAR ME OUT
Okay so I saw a post that spoke about how Dazai didn't show any emotions when Mori killed the former boss right in front of him. Dazai was a child. Seeing a murder for the first time and… Nothing. No expression. Just acceptance. As if his body is here but not his mind. He's dissociating.
Look at that look. He's not focused. He's just looking at whatever is happening.
So what if it happens each time he commits a crime? What if each time he kills someone, he's not fully realising his actions and only realizes it later, but it doesn't hit him so hard because it happened slowly.
Well, I headcanon that one time, Dazai killed a bunch of innocent civilians for X or Y reasons. Mori told him to. So he did it. But he usually didn't kill innocent people. Usually it's the mafia's ennemis. So the realisation hit him right as everyone's already dead. He's there, surrounded by corpses. He's the reason they're dead. His hands is covered in blood. The realisation hit him so hard he thought he was gonna vomit (he didn't).
Very joyful 🫶🏻‼️‼️
Headcanon as a Chuuran shipper,
Dazai, Chuuya, Yosano and Poe once fought to see who's Ranpo's biggest fan.
(if you don't ship Chuuran just remove Chuuya <3)
Plz Asagiri i'm begging you add Victor Hugo in BSD. He's my bbg. Not but honestly, he's like everything we need. The real Victor Hugo is a courageous man, even going so far as to oppose Napoleon. He even mocked him (With a painting where Napoleon was seen as a flying bird, where he was scared, and where Victor Hugo was standing behind.) At first he wasn't like that and stupidly followed others. But ! He changed, opposed the death penalty, made an incredible speech against poverty, defended single women which at the time was frowned upon. He even showed in one of his best-known books that a man, judged a thief and who spent 19 years in the penal colony (which is worse than jail), could become a good man. And that only a simple thing, gesture, could change his life.
Plz he'll be so bbg. He'll probably be like in a french gang (or port mafia idk), and he'll join the ADA after. Character development plz.
⚠️ BSD spoilers. Season 4-5⚠️
Asagiri, plz, if Dazai is chosen for the port mafia, make Kunikida sad and worried. Make him fight to get Dazai back. I miss their duo so much. I really want Dazai to feel that he's missed by people. Kunikida isn't even aware that one of the detectives will go to the port mafia, he was at the hospital at that time. I want when Kunikida learns that Dazai is gone, I want him to scream, to scream for the first time against all the detectives, even the most respected one. I want him to go get Dazai even if Fukuzawa forbade him. Why? Why would Kunikida do that ? Because in his ideal, no one suffers. I wish Ranpo would tell him about Dazai's suffering, I would like Kunikida to stand in Mori's way. Because he won't let Dazai get hurt by anyone. Dazai will finally feel like he has a place somewhere. Someone is waiting for him. That he has his place in the agency. Even if I want the whole agency to be worried, I would like Kunikida to be the major character to be concerned abt Dazai. And maybe we'll learn more abt Kunikida's backstory.
I WANT THE KUNIZAI DUO BACK, PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC IDC
Bro imagine Mori choose Fukuzawa 🤨
⚠️ Spoiler BSD : Season 4-5 ⚠️
So huh basically I was thinking about who will be taken in the port mafia. And I know it may sound weird or anything but this can be Ranpo. I know that he will refuse working with the port mafia, but Fukuzawa never said "Don't take Ranpo". Mori has the right to take Ranpo away, and Fukuzawa couldn't have a word to say, and since Ranpo obey to what Fukuzawa told him (most of the times…)
First, Ranpo is the pillar of the agency, one of the main reasons why it is still standing. The mafia is the enemy of the ADA, what could be better than taking the pillar and the very reason for its success for yourself ? Firstly, his intelligence can be used in the mafia, but also his experience in the ADA. He was the first person to work there with Fukuzawa. The mafia may also very well threaten Ranpo to cooperate (like threatening to harm Yosano, Fukuzawa or anyone). This will be destabilizing for the ADA, and will only help the situation of the mafia.
Those are my 3 AM thoughts…
wait
what happened to the mafia. Are they okay. Are they alive. Are they
BSD Ladies Week, day 4: blood
GIN-CHAN (ngl I love the Black Lizard and I needed to draw them this time)
For @bsdladiesweek