Trauma Recovery - Blog Posts

Something I think about sometimes is that my mental health got better after leaving my ex which looking back on that relationship it was far from being a healthy relationship, they ended up cheating on me, spreading rumors about me at school behind my back and would always try and start fights with me all the time and forced themselves on me, my mental health was at rock bottom and was on the verge of ending it when I was with them but when I left I was a lot happier and I was doing things I actually liked even when my ex was harassing me for being happy, I felt free after leaving them and I need to give myself credit for leaving them

How to heal a witch and/or pagan's soul 101:

"When we live together you can light candles/light incense/etc."

"When we live together feel free to have an altar space in our home"

"Of course you can have protection spells placed on the house I don't mind"

"I dont mind learning about your faith and spirituality"

Like seriously, all things I never thought I'd ever hear from someone outside of our little community, and all of it was said by my S/O. I didn't even realize there was something there that needed healing until they said it.

* I am a working in progress. *

- © bipolar2baddie -

I was made from mismatched pieces,

God's leftovers,

A warrior's heart,

And a dreamer's mind

And a gentle soul

And a chaotic existence.

Then they shoved me in this tiny little useless body, and sent me into battle.

Without ever teaching me to fight,

Or bothering with armour.

—I was never meant to survive, was I?

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I'm don't think I'm a person,

Anymore.

I'm likely just a place

For daydreams to rest before

Finding someplace better now.

But is that something to mourn when I never truly knew,

What being human felt like...

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I was raised to gobble on harsh words only,

My food pipe has stretched to swallow slanders,

My stomach has a special kind of acid to melt metal;

And my intestines are meant to grind any remaining matter to fine dust.

How to deal with kind words?

Of that, I have no idea.

Are they supposed to loll in my mouth like caramel candy

Or melt like chocolate?

Will the honey sting if it touches my bleeding tongue?

It will be lost between the blood and spit before reaching my stomach anyway.

—Be gentle with me please.

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You know that thing with a ball in a jar, where the ball represents grief and the jar represents you? And while the ball doesn't change, the jar gets bigger, representing that grief doesn't get less, it's just that you grow bigger. When I got first introduced to that concept, it seemed ridiculous. But since then... I know that it's true. There's certain things in my life, if I actively think about them, they get me just as mad and worked up as if they happened yesterday. However, they don't occupy my mind 24/7 anymore, like they did when they did happen recently. And I think that's exactly what they mean with the ball in a jar analogy. And I suppose that's better than nothing.

Some people won’t believe you until you break. Break anyway, if you need to. You don’t owe anyone your composure.

“So much of coming to terms with hard things from the past seems to be about believing our own accounts, having our memories confirmed by those who were there and honoured by those who weren’t.” — Sarah Polley, Run Towards the Danger

“Justice," she said. "I've heard that word. It's a cold world. I tried it out," she said, still speaking in that low voice. "I wrote it down. I wrote it down several times and always it looked like a damn cold lie to me. There is no justice.” — Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea

To Anyone Who’s Still Carrying It

You don’t get over it in a straight line. You just don’t. And anyone who tells you different hasn’t been through it or hasn’t faced it yet.

Harassment doesn’t always leave bruises you can point to. It gets under the skin in quieter ways. It makes you second-guess what you heard, how you felt, what you wore, what you said. It can turn a job into a minefield and your own instincts into something you stop trusting.

And it doesn’t end the day you leave the job, or file the report, or speak the truth out loud. Sometimes it lingers. In your body. In your sleep. In how you walk into new rooms.

But here’s what I know: healing doesn’t have to look heroic. It’s not always confrontation or closure. Sometimes it’s just getting through the day without that weight taking over. Sometimes it’s finding one person who listens. Sometimes it’s deciding to stay. Or leave. Or try again.

Whatever it looks like --- that’s valid. You’re allowed to move forward without explaining why it hurt or proving that it did.

It was real. You’re not imagining it. And you are absolutely not alone.

“There is nothing you can throw at me that I cannot metabolize, no matter how painful or unfair or unjust."

-Maggie Nelson

“I'ma keep running 'cause a winner don't quit on themselves.”

They called it “just a comment"

I called it

three weeks of anxiety, five skipped shifts, and a therapist

I couldn’t afford

just because

no one saw it

doesn’t mean

you imagined it

You get punished twice — once for what happened, and again for how you react.

Anxiety isn't drama...it's data.

Chiharu Shiota: Stairway (2012)

Given a choice between accepting that something awful has happened, or thinking that someone is mistaken, exaggerating, or lying, much of the time our brains will deny the awful thing happened.

You don’t need to prove it

was

serious enough.

If it made you feel unsafe, disrespected, or humiliated

that’s serious...that’s enough.

It is something that happened to you. 

It is something that can have a big impact on you. 

But it was not because of you.

And it doesn’t define you or your self-worth.

Learn more

Kiki Smith: Nuit (1992)

born in the wrong skin, not wrong for me. wrong for them. targets, not flesh.

The majority of sexual harassment cases involve some kind of complication.

Maybe you dated the person, flirted with them, or had sex with them before. 

Maybe you knew or suspected that they had a history of being inappropriate with others. 

Maybe you’ve always looked up to this person, considered them a friend, a mentor, or someone who’s helped you a lot in the past. 

Maybe it’s happened more than once. 

Maybe when it happened you didn’t know how to react so you didn’t say anything. 

Maybe after it happened you acted overly nice to the person or reassured them it wasn’t a big deal. 

Maybe the person isn’t the kind of person we think a harasser is: they’re someone really respected in society or more attractive than you or physically smaller or female. So you or others have a hard time believing that person could hurt you. 

Maybe you really like the person for other reasons and feel torn about seeing them as someone who’s hurt you. 

It’s important to know that it’s not unusual if your situation feels more complicated.

In fact, that is the more common situation. 

Being sexually harassed is less like you were running and tripped, and more like someone pushed you. Replaying everything you did or didn’t do doesn’t actually help you to prevent it from happening again.

You did not deserve to be sexually harassed.

This is true no matter what. No matter

what you wear

how much money you make

where you work

or anything else

Michael A Davenport, 3,090 Degrees Fahrenheit (Oil on canvas, 2025)

30in x 48in

Even people who care about you and want you to be safe may disbelieve you at first. This is not because you are to blame or because your story is not true.

You did not deserve to be sexually harassed. This is true no matter what you wear, how you look, how much money you make, where you work, what you do, or anything else.