Your personal Tumblr journey starts here
Orphan - Blog Posts
Discuss:
⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆
Batfam as things my family said pt.2
Jason(while robin): if i'm 25 and not covered in tattoos and have a motorcycle punch me in the face
steph: i’m convinced men are the ones with periods
dick: the eggs were carbonated
tim: i feel like a flintstone
babs: the mormons are out-
duke: actually ima be a stripper now
tim: what's goin on single fucks?
damian(talking to tim): i'm gonna put you in a box and send you to north Korea
bruce(to dick): what kind of crack are you on?!
dick(to bruce): the good kind obviously😃🔫
damian: i am not a demon for you to summon
cass: i have the butt of a ballon dog
Part 2 of Batfam Nerf War
Scroll down for part 1. It's not far.
Previously: Tim then builds a team...
The "Tim team" consists of Steph, Duke (reluctantly), and Cass.
It starts out with the four of them ambushing Jason as random times. At one point, Jason has to restrain himself from pulling a real gun on Steph. She has her guns loaded with glitter as a "artistic addition".
Jason eventually loses it and recruits the "big guns". He promises Dick a hug and cashes out a favor from Damian.
The group spends about a week ambushing each other (Tim usually concocted unusually complicated traps). Until Dick's gun malfunctions and accidentally fires on Damian. The teams split into three, the four....
By next week the manor becomes the battle ground of a no-holds free-for-all nerf war.
God help poor Alfred.
Imagine nerf darts, glitter, and batarangs scattered all around the mansion. Alfred just following behind and cleaning up the "bat tornado aftermath".
Somehow, Bruce is completely oblivious to the destruction his children are causing. "It just a harmless game Alfred". Bruce is lucky Alfred loves him.
I'll write part 3 when I'm motivated.
A̵̮͎̓́n̵͕̟̿̊ e҈̦̪͍̭̖́̓̉̚y̴͎̦̳̅̿̚ẽ̸̩̳́̆̓ f҉̝̝̦͔̆̾̿̚̚ô̵͈͈̽̀ṛ̶͖͈̱̃͑͂ a̶̗̘̜̔͐n҈̳̜̬̦͙͑͑͒̋ e҉̳̬͈̪͖͆͗͊̿y̵̤̜̦̤̿́̋́e҉̟̬̩̣̜͑́̍̉̏,̶̜̟̃̓͒̐ ȃ̶̦̖̀̓̿ l̶̝͙͉̟̍͒͐̋e҈̱̘͌̚g̵̩͇̑̔̀̈́ f̸̤̘͚̞̮͑͑̍̓o҉̯͚̔̄̃̿̿r҈̘̜̍͗̽͑ ā̷͎̠̘̣͚̃͛̑̉ l҈̝̲͕̋́ͅͅë̸͚͓̬͑͒̑̚g̶̣̯͉͙̞͛͌
Original Characters of mine, credit me if reposted
This is the chaos I'm here for damnit. I wanna eat this as a long form, slow burn, multi-chapter, identity porn fic because it'd be delicious.
I've had this idea rotating in my head for a while about a specific scenario in a universe where nobody is ever clued in on the fact that the bats are related. They just assume that Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, Nightwing, and everybody else just coincidentally happens to be Gotham (+Bludhaven) based like Batman is.
Do me a favor and imagine the aftermath of some stage five hall hands on deck crisis where everyone and their team has to gather for debriefing and for medical care. Everybody shows up with their respective teams, Nightwing with his Titans, Red Robin with the old members of YJ, Red Hood with the Outlaws, Batman with the JL ect ect.
Everyone is super tired from the battle and none of them are even given a moment to breathe before Red Hood and Red Robin start beefing on sight. Before anybody can even think to intervene, Nightwing, Orphan, Spoiler, Robin, and Signal join in and they all just start bickering at one another.
Everybody thinks they're about to fight. Like seriously start hashing it out. Thing is, YJ are RR's ride or dies. If RR starts fighting Nightwing then the YJ are gonna fight Nightwing. And then the titans are gonna fight the YJ because those are Nightwing's ride or dies. Same goes for all the teams and their respective leaders.
Everyone looks across the room going, "Am I gonna have to fight you? Man, I don't wanna fight you." They could not wanna fight because of the prior battle, out of respect for their potential opponents, or because they know that opponent would whoop their ass. But they'll still do it because that's their leader.
Eventually all of them stop their bickering, suspending the room in tense silence, as they stare each other down. Everybody is bracing themselves for the first punch and the JL is preparing to break up the fight, but instead the silence is broken by all of the birds turning their heads in one direction and yelling, "Daaaaaaddd!"
The room is dead silent enough that everyone can hear Batman's exhausted sigh echo through the room before it's followed by, "You're all grounded."
With WFA sister-coding Steph and Cass, I started thinking about how to get some silver linings out of the decision. So, here are some potential plots or story elements that could be fun/saucy/interesting to play with.
1.) Steph comes out as asexual. Between having a baby and dating Tim, Steph realizes that she's been pursuing physical relationships because of social expectations. She's a spunky, outgoing blonde tough girl; people just assume. She just assumed.
This leads to so many jokes. So many.
"Yeah, Tim and I dated and we had a good time, but in the end I turned him off girls and he turned me off entirely"
"I flatlined briefly and it restored me to factory settings"
Idk Steph would have more quips. She'd have all the quips.
2) Cass is secretly the true Wayne Womanizer. She's not here for a long time, she's here for a good time, and as long as everyone understands that she will play the field. The only reason no one knows that she's debauched every willing heiress in Gotham is because she's too good to get caught and no one would believe it.
Cassandra Wayne is a Legend among closeted debutantes and socialites whose parents have "arrangements" made in regards to marriages. She's the muse of so much modern sapphic poetry, the kind that only hints at her identity. She is the favorite friend to every ambassador's interested daughter. Forget the headlines about Brucie Wayne spending the night with a Russian ballet troupe, Cass will tour with them and no one will even guess what's really going on.
Fandom treats her like a sexless child figure or defaults her to Steph's side. I say let her sneak into the manor at 3am with her shoes off, whispering about entering her slut era.
3) If Steph and Cass are not dating each other, they could each be dating a new or underused character and we could have another Bernard-style steal-your-ship. We might be on the cusp of discovering a really fun pairing or character!
4) Cass and Prudence Wood have an assassin-angsty hate-sex relationship. This one's just for me because it makes me giggle. People meme about Tim and Cass looking alike, Pru called Tim hot once, Pru is now a double??? Triple???? Quadruple??? Agent between Ra's and Tim.
There is just something cute about imagining terrifying quiet Cass stalking after the loudmouth Pru's British cussing. No killing! Because Cass is here to ruin your fun and watch you sleep!
They have a Cassandra Cain Multiverse figure up for pre-order!
It’s so confusing that this pre-order goes up just 4 days after the character’s birthday.
They got that close and said “nah”. Just seems like a missed opportunity.
Kind of sad she doesn’t come with a maskless interchangeable head sculpt, granted she’s a cutie with or without the mask.
inaccurate Batfam quotes #29
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟBatfam Twitter, Otherwise known as: Idiots with Internet PART 3!The amazing Women have joined the chat
Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious
Have to get my nails redone after I punch this guy for making a move on my sis. Brb
13.4k Likes 12.3k retweeted 20k Comments
|
Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack
rolls up sleeves I got this
12.5k Likes 11.9k retweeted 12.8k Comments
|
Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass
@ FlyingGraysonJr Hold my earrings
13.9k Likes 12.1k retweeted 13.2k Comments
|
Dick GAYson 🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
Girl, you know I got u.
12.3k Likes 11k retweeted 13.1k Comments
Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious
God, being this awesome is exausting...
14.2k Likes 13.1k retweeted 13.5k Comments
|
Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass
I'll hold the mantle while you take a break. Go do your nerd stuff
14.1k Likes 11.2k retweeted 12.9k Comments
Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack
Still don't understand Twitter but learning
14.4k Likes 11.2k retweeted 13.5k Comments
Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell
Why is the little demon brat so awful? What did I ever do to you?!
14.6k likes 12.3k retweeted 16.9k Comments
|
Damian Wayne 🗸 @ TheBloodSon
Say it to my face, Brown.
12.9k Likes 10.2k retweeted 12.5k Comments
|
Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell
I will when you reach eye-level, gremlin.
15.2k Likes 13.6k retweeted 15.3k Comments
Cass Sandsmark 🗸 @ StrongerThanYourMans
anotherunofficialBruceWayneadoption
16.9k likes 14.7k retweeted 11.2k Comments
|
Steph💅 🗸 @ Stephinanutshell
Welcome to the family @ StrongerThanYourMans
14.5k Likes 13.2k retweeted 12.7k Comments
|
Harper💥👽 🗸 @ GothamsLocalBadass
Looks like we snagged another one. @ zombierebellion owes me five bucks
14.2k Likes 12.4k retweeted 15.2k Comments
|
Jay Son 🗸 @ zombierebellion
Damn it, Bruce! I bet on Billy next
15.7k Likes 13.4k retweeted 12.9k Comments
|
Dick GAYson 🗸 @ FlyingGraysonJr
I had my money on Conner.
16.3k likes 12.2k retweeted 15.8k Comments
|
Tim Drake 🗸 @ sleepwhenimdead
No way. It was gonna be Duke.
15.7k Likes 13.2k retweeted 13.9k Comments
|
Cass cain 🗸 @ BetterinBlack
Duke already family?
16.2k Likes 14.5k retweeted 12.9k Comments
|
Babs♛♥ 🗸 @ Bablicious
@ sleepwhenimdead When was the last time you slept, Timmy?
15.2k Likes 10.9k retweeted 13.4k Comments
|
Jay Son 🗸 @ zombierebellion
I'll get the sedatives...
16.3k likes 12.3k retweeted 14k comments
What a happy family! Hm… that lamp looks a bit weird. What’s that on your hand Tim?
👉🔥
They're all so happy 🙂
Whenever the Bats would complain about any of their tech malfunctioning, Bruce would definitely be the type of dad to go "Back in the days, I didn't even have that" (and of course he overdoes it) :
Dick : This grappling gun's jammed again !
Bruce : Be grateful. I used to scale buildings by hand with a hook and rope.
Dick : Yeah, yeah.
---
Tim : The encryption program is too slow to crack this file.
Bruce : I cracked codes with a pencil, paper, and a lot of staring.
Tim : [rolls his eyes]
---
Jason : The comms in my helmet cut out mid-fight. How am I supposed to fucking coordinate with the other dickwads ?!
Bruce : When I started, I had no comms. Hand signals and pigeons were my options.
Jason : ... Pigeons ?
Bruce : Yeah, now quit whining.
---
Damian : Father ! My sword tracker isn’t syncing properly !
Bruce : Know what I used to do when I lost track of my gear on the field ? I used this thing called "my eyes" to find it. Maybe try that.
---
Barbara : The Batcomputer is practically prehistoric at this point. Maybe it’s time to invest in an upgrade.
Bruce : Prehistoric ? I started with a notebook and an encyclopedia. Plus, I had to cross-reference everything manually. How’s that for prehistoric ?
Barbara : Sure, Grandpa.
---
Cass : My night vision is acting up. Can you fix it ?
Bruce : When I first started, I had to rely on the moonlight. You’ve got infrared, thermal imaging, and sonar. Don’t take it for granted.
Cass : ...
Bruce : ... Fine, I’ll fix it.
---
In the group chat.
Tim : Just survived another sermon about the olden days and gratitude. I swear, I’ve got a migraine.
Steph : Yikes. What was it about this time ?
Jason : Let me guess. How he had to hack into systems using a pocket calculator and sheer willpower ?
Tim : Close. It was how he used to decode encrypted files by hand and climb five stories to cut the power while it rained.
Steph : Classic. Did he end with the “you don’t know how easy you have it” speech ?
Tim : Oh, absolutely. With a bonus lecture about how he built the Batcomputer.
Jason : Next time, just tell him you don’t care.
Tim : And risk another hour ? No thanks.
I hate canon Bruce Wayne hitting his kids so how does he discipline them WITHOUT abuse?
(where's that post about how anything can be a punishment if you frame it as one)
———————
Dick: *breaks the chandelier while swinging from it*
Bruce: *hands him a broom*
Dick: Yeah that's fair.
Bruce: Also you have to use the Batman plate at dinner.
Dick: Please no, I hate that plate.
Bruce: You should've thought about that before.
———————
Tim: *logs into the Batcomputer without permission*
Bruce: And what do you think you're doing?
Tim: I know I've been benched but I just need to—
Bruce: Sit.
Tim: *sits down*
Bruce: *puts on The Bee Movie*
Bruce: If you insist on being down here while injured, then you're gonna watch this in its entirety.
———————
Cass: *blinks*
Bruce: And you think that's an excuse?
Cass: *blinks*
Bruce: We're going for a drive and I'm picking the music.
Cass: *blinks*
Bruce: Maybe you'll take this as a lesson.
———————
Jason: *causes a crime scene*
Jason: Go ahead, punish me. I'll still be right.
Bruce: *takes out a marker*
Bruce: *draws a mustache on Jason's helmet*
Bruce: It'll wash off in three weeks.
Jason: WHAT?!
Bruce: Actions have consequences.
———————
Steph: *breaks protocol*
Bruce: Go change your cape in the car.
Steph: That's not fair!
Bruce: That's the rule.
Steph: *grumbles and puts on a cape that's a slightly different shade of purple from the rest of her suit*
———————
Duke: *sneaks in after curfew*
Bruce: *flicks the light on*
Bruce: Do you know what time it is?
Duke: I can explain—
Bruce: Yogurt. Now.
Duke: But I don't want yogurt.
Bruce: I don't care. Go eat a cup of yogurt and think about what you did.
———————
Damian: *drops his fork at dinner*
Damian: Fuck.
Bruce: *pulls out a straw*
Damian: You wouldn't.
Bruce: *takes a sip of Damian's drink*
Damian: I hate this family.
Dick, eating off the Bat-plate: You and me both.
Peter: I don't have a dad...
Tony: What the fuck do I look like?
Steve in the background: Language!
The Council of Concerned Cousins.
CoCC, if you will.
FIC: Harry Potter and the Great Custody Battle by dajgen (ao3)
from up-down, left-right: peter - jason, dick - tim, damian - cass
i'm actually obsessed with this fic, and when the author updated with the last chapter, my hand got possessed. so... here i am *confetti*
i personally love the fact that CoCC was the acronym, and the one to lead the discussions was dick. perfection fr.
i, initially, had more of this done, but the file got corrupted for some reason so i had to remake most of it. i'm still working on cass and damian, not to mention cleaning up a bit more and shading. i'll post an update when i do! hope ya enjoyed, be sure to got read the fic (it's really good), and fingers crossed the author updates again soon!
Orphan (sweetly): If you murder anyone while we're on a mission, I will kick you in the crotch first.
Red Hood (tilting his head, confused): First?
Orphan (seriously): I know specific nerve endings can cause immense pain. I love you, I do, but you know my code. While we're working together, don’t kill anybody. That's all I ask, or…
Red Hood (playfully challenging): You'll hurt a specific part of my body that really hurts?
Orphan nodded, her expression unwavering.
Red Hood (grinning, impressed): You're hardcore, but that's what I enjoy about you. I have rubber bullets. They won't kill anyone, just really hurt.
Orphan tapped her chin, contemplating his words, then shrugged casually.
Orphan: That works. Let’s go, baby brother!
With a giggle, Orphan jumped onto Red Hood's back, her arms wrapping around his neck.
Red Hood (chuckling as he adjusted her weight): You are a few months older than me. Why are you on my back like a monkey?
Orphan (giggling): My feet are tired, and you're strong.
Red Hood (amused, shaking his head): You're annoying.
Despite his playful complaint, he took off running, carrying her piggyback, both of them laughing as they dashed into the night.
Okay, random thought, but I can definitely see Cassandra Cain hanging upside down like a bat purely to freak people out and to keep her status as a cryptid
Now I REALLY need a StephCass MLB AU 😭
With Cass using mostly her fists to fight and Steph has to actively remind her to use the restorative power at the end. While Steph is wondering if she can just destroy the whole building and if she could get sued for that.
Also Steph using cat puns? YES PLEASE
Why are there not any StephCass Miraculous Ladybug Au's??? Why is this something I've never seen before?? Guys?? Just think about it, it would make so much sense!! Pls?? It came to me in a dream and I need someone to make my vision a reality. I am not okay over this, pls and thank you
Okay but who would be who??? I can see Steph as Cat Noir with her quips and her general vibe, but I can’t see Cass wearing Ladybug’s bright red costume cause she just embodies all black costumes so well…
Why are there not any StephCass Miraculous Ladybug Au's??? Why is this something I've never seen before?? Guys?? Just think about it, it would make so much sense!! Pls?? It came to me in a dream and I need someone to make my vision a reality. I am not okay over this, pls and thank you
The parallels between Cassandra Cain and Jason Todd are crazy.
Cassandra Cain’s kindness and compassion is rooted in the violence and hate from her childhood.
Jason Todd’s violence and hate is rooted in the kindness and compassion from his days as Robin.
Jason Todd was murdered by somebody when he was young and that defined the rest of his life.
Cassandra Cain murdered somebody when she was young and that defined the rest of her life.
Jason has murdered people after his death. Cass has been murdered after she killed. But what defines them will forever be what happened first.
Two sides of the same coin, the two roles in a murder.
The killer and the killed.
People who are wrong will say that Steph was a bad influence on Cass.
Other people who are also wrong will say that Cass was a bad influence on Steph.
The right answer is that they matched each other’s freak and went off into the sunset to be bad influences together.
David Cain rips the humanity of being someone from Cassandra Cain and then has the GUTS to feel guilty about it and see her as his daughter.
World class assassin or not, if that man ever becomes real, I’m gonna try beat the shit out of him.
The parallels between Cassandra Cain and Jason Todd are crazy.
Cassandra Cain’s kindness and compassion is rooted in the violence and hate from her childhood.
Jason Todd’s violence and hate is rooted in the kindness and compassion from his days as Robin.
Jason Todd was murdered by somebody when he was young and that defined the rest of his life.
Cassandra Cain murdered somebody when she was young and that defined the rest of her life.
Jason has murdered people after his death. Cass has been murdered after she killed. But what defines them will forever be what happened first.
Two sides of the same coin, the two roles in a murder.
The killer and the killed.
To my knowledge, when Cass was orphan she was basically the only person in the BatFam that wasn’t an orphan.
Like, sure both her parents are horrible, but they were both perfectly alive and you still had the audacity to call yourself Orphan while being in a family of actual orphans
Fuck yeah, that’s badass
Ngl Batman’s biggest weakness is autistic children
IT'S BATMOMA TIME!!
As I said, Batmom promotes long hair, so the birdies use them
Duke doesn't know what's going on
Since this is the platform where I’ve shared most of my stuff this year I really hope you guys like it. Posting has been sparse because this took up a lot of my time. But I think the effort was worth it to be able to share this personal animated end project. Be warned for feelings though.
The Beginning part 11 (Season 1 finale)
~Last time~
“I wish all stories ended like that.” He huffs.
“That isn’t the end. Not yet kid. But, we’re close.” Kaaru chuckles.
~storytime~
The girl sat in Winston’s laboratory, working on her essay as she keeps an eye on him.
It’s been two weeks since he was tasked with making a machine to send the younger versions of her parents home. He’s been stalling all afternoon, asking her risque questions she ignores and trying to get a gage on why he’s doing this. It’s like she doesn’t care for his ideas or his sciences, dismissing them with a scoff.
He eventually gives up on asking her questions and focuses on the machine.
“Don’t put that there.” She says nonchalantly as he reaches to screw a bolt in.
“So she speaks. Why shouldn’t I put it here, agent K-M-S-M?” He says, looking at her.
“It’ll blow up in your face later if you do.” She says, chewing the eraser of her pencil.
He rolls his eyes and puts it in anyway, finishing the machine.
“There, it’s done. Now all we need to do is test it. Any suggestions?” He asks the girl who’s staring down her notepad full of scribbles.
“Try this.” She tosses a hair tie to him.
“I will assume you want this back.” He says, putting it onto one of the pads hooked up to the machine and turns it on.
The hair tie disappears and then reappears on top of the girl’s head a few moments later.
“It works!” He smiles triumphantly.
“Great! Now go get the people.” She says with fake enthusiasm.
“But I will need to have the present versions present. As well as Dr. Zeigler if anything goes wrong.” He says, trying to get her to have more of a conversation with him.
“Then hop to it, Casanova.” She says, scratching something out on her notepad before flipping a few papers to look through it more.
He sighs and does as she tells him, gathering the people who need to be present in the lab for the big event.
Meanwhile the girl says goodbye to her parents and sends them home, sending her dog Toby with them. When she gets back to the lab the present Hanzo is leaning against his Mccree, looking sick and miserable.
“Is everything alright?” She asks them and Mccree just nods.
“Just a little hangover.” He says and she nods, helping them into position with the younger versions.
Winston starts everything up and the pads beneath their feet glow a light blue. Electricity starts to flow through them, their hearts starting to race as they’re stuck in their place. Winston begins to put in the time they need to be sent home, loading the machine up to its maximum capacity, that last bolt he put it rattling and heating up.
The girl watches, making sure not to miss a thing.
The bolt rattles louder and louder, turning red hot before shooting out of its socket, electricity sparking and covering everything, making the men standing on the pads scream in pain.
Winston jumps, frantically trying to turn the machine off but gets shocked as his machine is engulfed in bright blue electricity. He backs away, staring in shock as the machine begins to break apart. The younger versions of Mccree and Hanzo disappear into the electricity, their pained screams fading with them. Mccree is then thrown off his pad into the wall and Hanzo falls into a crumpled ball of pain as the machine explodes.
Winston is thrown back and knocked unconscious. Mercy runs out, calling for backup as the laboratory goes into lock down.
The girl watches, from the corner, panicking as she’s frozen in terror as the fire rages. It slowly calms and from the flames a baby rocks back and forth in the rubble, crying loudly. The girl looks at it and tries to go to it but the laboratory door creaks open forcefully. She gasps and panics, making a portal shakily and jumps through, not making sure she was going to the right place and time.
Kaaru gets up, grunting in pain as her panicked portal closes. She looks around and nothing looks right for the time she was aiming for.
“Son of a bitch.” She huffs and gets up.
She looks around and pulls off her sling, her cast having burnt up in the portal. She dusts herself off and puts her hood up, walking out of the alley she landed in.
After a few minutes she passes another alley and hears crying. She looks down the alley and sees a shiffy man threatening a kid with a switchblade.
“I can’t get a break, can I?” She huffs and runs in, pulling the man off the kid.
~reality~
“Wait wait wait wait. That’s how we met. That was a week and a half ago.” Jesse says
Kaaru chuckles and nods as they stop on the doorstep of Sunshine Acres Children’s Home.
“When you’re my age, 24 hours ago is a long time ago.” She says, leaning down to look him in the eye.
“Wait, why are we here?” He asks, looking at the orphanage. “I have to go home. I have to go to my time. And I can’t take you with me.” She sighs.
“Why not? Why can’t I go with you?” He starts to cry.
“You belong here. In this time. I’m sorry Jesse.” She says, kneeling down. “We’ll meet again, I promise.” She adds and he hugs her tight.
She sighs and hugs back. When he pulls away from the hug he goes to take off the serape but she stops him. “Keep it.” She smiles.
“Really?” He sniffs and Kaaru nods.
“And how’s this, you take up that Mccree name. You’re strong, firm, and brave. You deserve the name Mccree.” She smiles.
“I, Jesse, will do you proud. Promise.” He salutes.
“Now, this orphanage needs you. And you need it. Head on in. Okay? Tell them your mother left you here.” She says and he sighs, nodding.
He heads up the stairs and sees the doors. He stops at the top and looks behind him, his mouth open to say something to Kaaru, but she’s gone and with her, his memories of her and her story, his mind shifting to feel very sad as he imagines a mother he never knew dropping him off here and driving off. He sulks into the orphanage, all he has is his clothes on his back, and his name, Jesse Mccree.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
here are some batkids faces..might color them might not🤷🤷🤷 we’ll see..