Your personal Tumblr journey starts here
Superman: Yeah, so we're turning ourselves into the government. Do you want to meet us there, or should we meet with you?
Batman: …
Wonder Woman: Batman, we're on a time crunch. Just give us your answer.
Batman (while driving, hesitating): First, I'm fine, thank you. How are you? Second, my son, who is in the car with me, is also fine… thankfully. Third, are you on crack?
Superman: I… We as a team voted that it's best if we turn ourselves into the government.
Batman (flatly): That's a decision you made. You guys have fun with it. Can I go now?
Wonder Woman: You’re part of the team! You have to turn yourself in!
Batman: Says who?
Wonder Woman: We decided as a team!
Batman: Yes, good for you. Why am I being dragged into this?
Wonder Woman and Superman: YOU ARE PART OF THIS TEAM!
Damian (in the background): Father, can we get McFlurrys later?
Batman (to Damian): Why do people eat those? They taste disgusting.
Damian: You have to get the one with the Oreos.
Superman: We’re still on the call!
Batman (annoyed): Right, not going in. Bye.
Wonder Woman: Don’t end the call! You have to hear us out.
Batman: I should just hang up, but I’m bored and need something entertaining to listen to. Proceed.
Flash (speaking first): Take one for the team, Bruce.
Batman: Okay, first, when I'm on a call with any of you, call me by my hero name. Commissioner Gordon can get away with that, but I’m not on that level with most of you. Second, I’m not on this team if you want me to do this ridiculousness. Third, seriously, are you on crack?
Green Arrow (in the background): Thank you for not saying heroin.
Damian (in the background): Father, why do they think you’re dumb?
Batman: Because they’re not very smart.
Green Arrow (expecting this): It’s amazing how badly this is going. I told you guys he’d say no, but nobody listens to me.
Batman: This is one of the rare times I agree with Arrow. I didn't sign up for a team where we all turn ourselves in for something I didn’t do.
Superman: It’s a team decision.
Batman: I don’t care.
Superman: But it’s for solidarity.
Batman: That I don’t care about.
Superman: Again, we’re a hero team. We’ve saved the world together; can’t you do this one little thing?
Green Lantern (Hal): And his response is…
Batman: Fighting villains, I enjoy. I wouldn’t be on a sports team, a firefighter team, or a doctor team with you if you're going to be this dense, and I sure as hell won't be on this team if you want me to do something this stupid. Is the brain cell you share gone for the day?
Superman: Okay, well… Kara is going with us.
Batman: And I've lost a little respect for her.
Supergirl: Hey! Wait, you had respect for me?
Batman: Did you contact any of my adult kids? Nightwing? Red Robin? I know Red Hood would just laugh before hanging up.
Superman: We haven't called them yet… but I bet they'd say yes!
Batman: No, they wouldn’t. I know that because they just texted my youngest son, who’s with me, and their messages say, “Not a chance in hell.” I didn’t even have to say anything. I raised them well.
Superman: Can’t you put aside your ego and just do this for us?
Batman: Who’s going to pick up my son from school? Go to my daughter's recital? Attend my other son’s group therapy session? Talk to my future fiancée about where I’ll be? Just curious, which one of you will handle that?
Batman waited for a few seconds, and none of the members responded.
Batman: Right. As stated, I'm not going, and if you call me again with this stupid request, I'm cutting the power to the building for a month. I will let that building decay to prove a point.
Damian: You tell 'em, Father!
Batman ended the video call without another word.
Wonder Woman: He’s getting calmer with his reactions.
Green Arrow: Yeah… Guys, maybe we don’t turn ourselves in this time. Maybe we… do something else? Anything else, because he has a point. I'm not sinking in the Titanic when there's a lifeboat.
Aquaman: Good Titanic metaphor.
Green Arrow: Thanks, man.
“Good evening everyone! I’m your host Ann Romano joined tonight by two of the biggest names in music….please give it up for Corroded Coffin frontman Eddie Munson and Grammy winner Steve Harrington!”
The crowd goes wild.
This is a big deal, two of the biggest names in history with a giant rivalry.
Everyone knew the story. They grew up in a small town together and were on different levels of popularity ultimately ruining what could’ve been a fantastic friendship. Even now ten years since high school they can’t get over it. They hate each other always trying to one up each other.
Eddie trying to make a point that even the freaks can become famous. Stating, “I didn’t need money like Steve Harrington to win a Grammy I have my talent to thank for that.”
The two walk out onto the stage and sit on the couch making sure to leave some distance between them.
“Thank you both for coming out tonight! I know it’s a big trip from LA to New York. It probably helps that you live here huh Steve?”
“Actually I moved to LA.”
Eddie turns to look at him shocked.
“You moved? When did you move? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Would it have mattered? It’s not like we see each other anyway. You can barely look at me and you’re sitting two inches from me.”
Eddie huffs in his seat and turns towards Ann, trying to remember what little of his media training he had.
“I only care because I’m a good neighborly fellow of course.”
Ann laughs flicks her hand at him.
“Oh you guys are just too funny. I knew you secretly cared for each other which brings me to my next segment, a game I like to call, “Wrapped Up!” You see gentleman, both of your agents gave me access to your Spotify wrapped and now we’re gonna let the audience in as well!”
The two turn white.
“Is that necessary?” Eddie asks through gritted teeth.
“Why not?” Steve adds in. “I have nothing to hide.” He narrows his eyes at Eddie.
Eddie rolls his eyes at him.
Ann laughs nervously. “Fantastic! Let’s jump to it!”
She gestures behind her where a giant screen shows Steve’s wrapped.
“Alight fellas, Eddie gets three points for every artist he guesses on the first try. He gets three tries, one point if he gets the artist by the third try.”
“Easy.” Eddie smirks.
Steve raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. You always were easy.”
“Alright guys let’s focus on the game here!” Ann jumps in.
“Alright number 5….Wham.”
*a bell rings*
“Fantastic start Eddie!”
“What’d I say, easy,” he smirks.
“4. Tears for Fears.”
“3. ABBA.”
“2. Queen.”
“1. Toto.”
*incorrect buzzer sound*
“Ok…Madonna.”
*incorrect*
“Alright Eddie this is your last chance. You’ve done fantastic so far so I think you’re going to win no matter what. Sorry Steve.” Ann says.
“Hey none taken. I definitely didn’t even think he’d do this well.” Steve smirks at him.
“Alright big boy hold onto your pants. I got this.”
Eddie takes a deep inhale.
“Brittney Spears!”
*louder more incorrect buzzer*
“Ugh!”
“Sorry Eddie! But I don’t think even you could’ve guessed this one. Are you ready folks let’s see what it is-”
The crowd goes wild.
Steve’s smirks goes crazy.
Eddie is pale.
Up on the screen in big obnoxious letters is “CORRODED COFFIN”
“That’s right folks! Since Eddie did so well let’s let him play a similar game for Steve’s top songs. Are you ready Eddie!”
Eddie is not breathing.
“Um-”
“Great let’s start!”
“5….Girls just wanna have fun?”
*DING*
“4.Dancing Queen”
*incorrect buzzer*
“Material Girl”
*incorrect buzzer*
Eddie sighs.
“Crown of Thorns.”
*DING*
“That’s right Eddie! Your very own song Crown of Thorns was his number 4? Wanna take a guess at the rest?”
Eddie grits his teeth. “I’m not sure I have a choice.”
“Haha of course you don’t! Now! Number three!”
“3. Heavy is the Head.”
“2. Reign.”
“1….”
He looks nervous.
“Kneel Before the King.”
*DING*
“You got them! Fantastic work Eddie! Were you surprised that four of his five were songs written by you? How could you possibly guess them?”
“At first I was surprised…you know we have this rivalry thing going on but…I’ve been watching Steve since I was fourteen. I know him well. As soon as I saw his top artist I knew his top songs would be the ones I wrote about him.”
The crowd gasps.
“Don’t get me wrong I wrote a lot more about him but these in particular…”
“They’re about forbidden love.” Steve chimes in. His eyes are watering.
“Yeah.”
“That’s why they were my favorite.”
Eddie gives him a sad smile.
“You wrote them about me?”
Eddies smile turns into a frown. “About you, for you, it was always for you, all of them.”
“All of them?”
“Everything. My entire discography. Every performance. Every press tour. Every photo shoot. You just had to worm your way into my life Harrington…my heart.” He whispers that last part but they’re so close together Steve can hear it.
Well barely hear it…his heartbeat is so loud in his ears.
“Anyways Ann what’s next.”
Ann is staring at him in open mouthed shock.
“Wow. This so perfect.” She turns to Steve. “Ready for your turn?”
“Nah.” Eddie says. “Skip to my number one artist.”
Behind them a video starts playing on the screen.
“Hey it’s Steve! Thanks so much for being my number one fan! I mean top .01 percent is a tough spot to get! It means so much to me that I’m your number one artist-”
Steve can’t take his eyes off of Eddie, when could he ever?
“I’m your number one artist?” he asks so softly Eddie can barely hear it.
“Of course…I like the sound of your voice.” He shrugs his shoulder like it’s no big deal.
“Can we talk? I mean after the show?”
Eddie smiles at him.
“Of course Stevie, I’d like that.”
“I would also like to know!” Ann cuts in.
They forgot this was being streamed to millions of people and filmed in front of a live studio audience.
—————
Later Backstage:
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE MY NEW NEIGHBOR HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS!!!????”
“Honestly Eddie I don’t know. For someone who claims to be obsessed with me-”
“I didn’t-“”
“Obsessed.” Steve puts a finger to Eddie’s lips to shut him up. “You didn’t notice I’d moved in next door.”
“Hell just move in with me.”
“…alright.”