Akutagawa X Atsushi - Blog Posts

» BETWEEN (05/02) — capa doada » categoria: Bungou Stray Dogs » personagens: Akutagawa & Atsushi

meimei's note: faz muito tempo que não edito com tons de cinza e preto, muito tempo mesmo! eu nem me lembro da capa e se eu fiz uma sequer ano passado então pensei com meus dois neurônios: e se... BOW!!! tive uma ideia (!) eu amo fazer capas mais tristes para esses dois, tenho um carinho enorme pelo ship e meu deus, que saudade do anime (nem lembro que temporada eu parei de assistir e ta tudo uma bosta) mas enfim, essa capa é bem clean, ela só demorou pois eu sou teimoso e queria um render deles que inventei na minha cabeça (spoiler: não existe) e é isso

ATSUSHI ANGST!!

(Uyarılar: Yeme bozukluğu, kendine zarar verme, shin soukoku, soukoku,Dazai)

Atsushi ve Akutagawa Dazai sayesinde tekrar bir görevde birlikte çalışıyorlardı. Görevleri gereği bir otelde birlikte kalacaklardı. Otel hafif lüks, tek yataklı bir oteldi. Görev bilgilerini aldılar ve otele gittiler.

ATSUSHI POV:

Gerçekten Akutagawa ile birlikte mi kalacaktım? Daha kötüsü olamazdı. Otele girer girmez banyoya girdim.

⚠️ (başlıyor)

Cebimden bir bıçak çıkardım, eski bandajları kenara attım ve bıçak ile elimi kesmeye başladım.

1

2

3

4

...

11, daha fazla yaparsam Akutagawa'nın şüpheleneceğini düşündüm, kanları temizleyip ve bandajlayıp çıktım.

⚠️ (bitti)

Akşam yemeğine Chuuya ve Dazai ile buluşacaktık. Sıcak havaya rağmen ince uzun kollu bir bluz giydim ve n'olur n'olmaz diye ceket aldım.

AKUTAGAWA POV:

Jinko'nun bu sıcak havaya rağmen uzun şeyler giymesi beni şüphelendirdi. Çok sorgulamadım ve sadece bir tişört ve normal eşofman giydim. Akşam yemeğine Dazai ve Chuuya ile buluşacaktık. Mekana gittik ve oturduk. Dazai, Chuuya ile flörtleşiyordu. Biz gelince durdular.

Kimsenin POV:

Dazai, Atsushi'nin uzun kollu giyinmesine ve üstüne üstlük ceket giymesine şaşırmış gibi görünüyordu.

Dazai: "At-su-shi-kun~! Neden kısa kollu giymedin? Hava soğuk değil ve kedilerin tüylerinin soğuktan koruduğunu duymuştum~!"

(Eğer severseniz burdan devam edicem, sevmezseniz Wattpad'den devam ederim:3)

(Wattpad: Fan_Of_Angst veya Atsushi:3)

I NEED THIS TO BE CANON THIS IS SO FUNNY

headcanon atsushi’s ability the tiger does not know what to do when it likes someone

like in general atsushi is bad with knowing what to do with the ppl he likes and showing affection – like he tries to mimic others but he himself is still working on something that feels natural if that makes sense

but the tiger

the tiger is far worse becuz the only positive thing it can associate with positive emotions is food so every time it gets closer to the full moon the tiger starts whispering in the back of his mind that he should eat dazai and kunikida

then kyouka and junichiro

and ranpo and yosano and fukuzawa and kenji and naomi and haruno

at first atsushi panics (naturally) worries he’s a cannibal, thinks the tiger hates the agency, panics more, especially after dead apple when he and the tiger gained an understanding of each other and he realized that the tiger was protecting him so he’s like why r u trying to kill the agency members

but gradually he realizes that actually the tiger just doesn’t know how to deal with positive emotions and yeah

anyway:

atsushi: dazai-san is so nice to me :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: we should eat him

atsushi: NO????

//

kunikida, patting atsushi’s head: good job on ur report atsushi

the tiger: use his arm against him and eat him

kunikida: atsushi u look weird are u feeling unwell

atsushi: hahaha dont worry about no weird thoughts here hahahaha

//

atsushi, literally just working:

the tiger: the small candy one eats a lot of sugar. he would taste sweet. Eat him.

atsushi: NO??????????????

ranpo, looking up: i’ve actually always wondered what i would taste like-

//

and so on

is this incredibly dumb? yes but is it also funny, yes

atsushi realizes he likes akutagawa because at some point when he spots him the tiger immediately starts wondering what he’d taste like

atsushi, sees akutagawa: oh there’s that basta-

the tiger: i bet he’d taste really nice

atsushi:

atsushi: oh 

atsushi: oh no

//

akutagawa: how did you figure out you liked me?

atsushi: i couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d taste like

akutagawa, blushing: oh-

atsushi: yeah it was insane how much the tiger wanted to kill and eat u

akutagawa, slightly confused and horrified: oh-

//

eventually as atsushi learns to deal with his feelings so does the tiger but unfortunately it’s still an animal so its more like

atsushi: dazai’s so nice :)

the tiger: yeah :)

the tiger: lets hunt a deer for him 

atsushi: no??????????????

//

kunikida, petting atsushi’s hair: good job on the job atsushi

atsushi, not thinking about what he’s saying: kunikida i like u so much should i kill a bear for u?

kunikida, slightly confused, slightly flattered: uhh no???????

//

atsushi, at the store: lemme just get something for kyouka-

the tiger: we shall hunt until we find something suitabl-

atsushi: no.

//

atsushi: im sorry i transformed last night, snuck out of ur place, hunted down a goose, broke back in, left it in the living room table, and then climbed on top of u, still a tiger, and then fell asleep and only transformed back now, after u had to use rashomon to get tiger me off u 

akutagawa, dead tired: yeah i don’t know what the appropriate response is but ur cleaning the bloo-

akutagawa: wait wtf do u mean theres a dead goose in the living room

atsushi: do u not like goose :(

akutagawa: that is NOT the issue here

//

yeah

I swear I could see Atsushi being brutally nice to Akutagawa just to fuck with him.

Just to confuse him.

Just to make him question all things.

(He learned it from Dazai)

IMAGINING AKUTAGAWA WITH ATTACHMENT ISSUES AFTER ATSUSHI DIED IN FRONT OF HIM (or vice versa)

God I know they suck at actually communicating their feelings with words and instead die for each other, but I can't get the possibility of Akutagawa being majorly effected by Atsushi's death enough to where he can't bear to leave Atsushi alone, out of my head

(side note: I think Akutagawa should join the Agency. We already know from beast he'd make a pretty decent detective)

I know Akutagawa's terrified of losing Atsushi. And Atsushi had to die to save him for him to even realize that 🙏 Asagiri you wizard I love how you write Sskk's relationship

But like, just imagine an Akutagawa trailing Atsushi around like a lost dog (one could almost say...a stray dog) on his days off or Akutagawa constantly checks up on him and calls him or just like small little, caring things like that. Akutagawa with the realization of how much Atsushi means to him

Also, speaking of sskk clinginess; sskk reunion

Asagiri is most likely going to do what none of us expects with however he approaches the sskk reunion, but oh my goodness every new chapter that drops changes my ideas for how it'll unfold

I wonder if they'll talk. If they'll hug. They should probably hug. And talk. They really need to talk atp

And you know they're going to argue. But not a real argument, the kind of sskk argument that they only do to talk about their actual problems

Ohhhh there's just so many layers to sskk and I don't know if I can pluck them all apart. And right now I'm really just wondering about the what ifs of their changed relationship

(I'm absolutely PINING for a chance of Atsushi asking "do you hate me?" which makes Akutagawa have to answer with his current/future character growth)

Look at his face. Look at his sorrow

The absolute most solemn look I've seen on Akutagawa, where he realizes Atsushi wasn't just some beast he could kill. Atsushi wasn't just an obstacle or a test, because Atsushi is human

Akutagawa sees that in him

I have no idea how Asagiri is gonna handle the end of the six months deal, knowing him it's going to be what literally no one could've expected, but the premise really interests me now. It always did beforehand, but still, now we know more about how Akutagawa feels about Atsushi. And Akutagawa doesn't know it yet, but Atsushi witnessed his past and trauma. They're bonded, connected and understand each other on yet another level now

And genuinely, I don't think Akutagawa can kill Atsushi

Atsushi asked "why did you save me?"

Akutagawa wondered "why did you protect me?"

And that's just...sad

It's sad that they're so doubtful of the other's feelings. Atsushi doesn't feel like he deserves to be loved, and although he's connected to Akutagawa and they have a trust that runs deeper than words, I think he's scared that Akutagawa doesn't care for him, and he doubts and doubts and doubts

We don't know the full canon reason on why Akutagawa saved Atsushi, but we know it's because he *cares*, but Atsushi doesn't know that yet

I don't think that Atsushi doubts Akutagawa's strength or abilities, or his capacity to care for others. I think Atsushi doubts how lovable he himself is, he thinks he's not worth loving, not worth anything

And it's similar with Akutagawa, he probably thinks whatever he feels towards Atsushi is one-sided, and maybe he even fears that Atsushi hates him (although he obviously doesn't 😔)

They've been abused and traumatized emotionally so much that I think it's hard for them to realize how much they care for and about each other

I'm sure there will eventually be a chapter or two where Atsushi and Akutagawa can finally talk, and I can't wait for that because it'll really show their combined perspective on who are they are together

God they're so in love

Asagiri why do you do this to me

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT IT ISN'T HATE

Akutagawa 👏 doesn't 👏 hate 👏 him

He was just told to hate him, taught to hate him

Akutagawa was so ready to despise Atsushi, to kill him, and then...

And then he really saw Atsushi for who he was

He learned about Atsushi and grew to know him and trust him, seeing Atsushi as his other half

He saw Atsushi from his own perspective, no one else's

I think he loves Atsushi.

They should kiss

Look at his face. Look at his sorrow

The absolute most solemn look I've seen on Akutagawa, where he realizes Atsushi wasn't just some beast he could kill. Atsushi wasn't just an obstacle or a test, because Atsushi is human

Akutagawa sees that in him

I have no idea how Asagiri is gonna handle the end of the six months deal, knowing him it's going to be what literally no one could've expected, but the premise really interests me now. It always did beforehand, but still, now we know more about how Akutagawa feels about Atsushi. And Akutagawa doesn't know it yet, but Atsushi witnessed his past and trauma. They're bonded, connected and understand each other on yet another level now

And genuinely, I don't think Akutagawa can kill Atsushi

I need someone to rewrite all of Bsd in a fanfiction but where sskk is actually canon

Where all the VERY FREAKING ROMANTIC undertones are actually confirmed to be romantic and Atsushi and Akutagawa do love each other and like gdfhjgrvhkc idk that would be amazing, and probably similar to BEAST

I absolutely love the sskk (fic) dynamic where Akutagawa loves Atsushi yet he doesn't tell him due to fear

He holds in his feelings because of fear of rejection, fear of Atsushi hating him for loving him and losing Atsushi. Fear of losing the only person bathed in light in his life. Fear of losing his equal because of three words

I just think it's a beautifully tragic take on their romantic relationship, where Akutagawa loves Atsushi but he can't say it because what if Atsushi doesn't requite his feelings? Considering fanfiction though, Atsushi 100% loves him back, but yk

Akutagawa has experienced more loss in his life than anyone should, and the inner monologue of him being so scared to lose Atsushi or disgust Atsushi with his real feelings would make a great oneshot/fic

Seeing Akutagawa deal with alienating feelings like love for Atsushi is always so interesting to me

Do not fucking even try the argument "but Akutagawa hates Atsushi" with me

I will only respond with these panels. And probably an entire essay on their entire relationship but still

Tell me you're in love with him without telling me you're in love with him

So like

Akutagawa is in love with Atsushi

If you took this out of context this would genuinely look like an enemies to lovers romance manga scene 🙏

Also Harukawa wrote an illustrator's note (I think it's at the end of volume 5?) about how she draws eyes, and how she portrays the character's current growth, personality and aspect on the world through their eyes

Akutagawa's eyes have almost always been dark, the representation for how dark his life and character is

But Atsushi brings light to them

In chapter 121.5 where Akutagawa's eyes grow wide as he sees Atsushi die, it's not just a show of how shocked Akutagawa is, it shows how Atsushi lightens Akutagawa's eyes, how much he's affected him for the greater good. Atsushi brings out a new side to Akutagawa

His eyes are incredibly light as he recalls his memories and gets hit by Atsushi's death that wasn't even just a death, but a death to save him. To protect him

Because Atsushi thinks Akutagawa is worth protecting

So just, like, I really love how chapter 122 not only shows Atsushi finally seeing Akutagawa's past and fully understanding Akutagawa's trauma and even relating to him, but it also shows how Akutagawa truly feels about Atsushi (although the "and then..." definitely left us on a cliffhanger)

I love them

Atsushi saw Akutagawa's past. He learned about Akutagawa's trauma. He knows how Akutagawa was treated, how he was taught, what he was put through.

He understands Akutagawa now

He fully sees Akutagawa for his humanity now

Atsushi has seen Akutagawa's darkest, most vulnerable side now

And that's just so...

I can't even put it into words oh my God, their relationship is so complex and heartfelt I'm screaming

I have a feeling that Akutagawa doesn't mind Atsushi seeing his past, seeing him at weakest, lowest point

I think their trust runs deeper than that

Also Akutagawa isn't alone anymore. Nor is Atsushi, because they have each other. Akutagawa has someone who knows and tells him he isn't weak, Atsushi has someone who can be by his side and save him. I feel like without each other they aren't complete

"and then..."

AND THEN WHAT AKUTAGAWA

YOU REALIZED YOU DIDN'T HATE HIM? YOU REALIZED HE MEANT THE WORLD TO YOU? YOU REALIZED HE VALUED YOU? YOU REALIZED YOU CARED ABOUT HIM? YOU REALIZED THAT HE WAS YOUR EQUAL?

oh my god chapter 122 is killing me it's amazing

If the actual end of the sentence is "and then I realized I love him" I WILL LOSE MY SHIT.

THE LATEST CHAPTER OH MY GOD?? OH MY FUCKING GOD????

Asagiri I love you 🙏

Okay so like

Pls I'm still processing everything oh my GOD what the what just happened like oml THE ATSUSHI DEVELOPMENT HELLO?? THE DAZAI DELUSION REVEAL???

and tHE SSKK

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THE SSKK

ATSUSHI SAW AKUTAGAWA'S PAST NOW?? THEY HAVE A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING NOW??? AND LIKE

UENGDNVSGKEJGSSGJDGJDJHSFHFS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH RN

okay so like

is Akutagawa maybe actually kinda really in love with Atsushi??

AAAAAAAAA I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC AND GROWTH

This chapter was full of new things aistidvmufsitshffj oml Atsushi Atsushi Atsushi my baby oml I'm still trying to figure everything out like I have two braincells rn oml I love this chapter though AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am unwell

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64362169

Wrote an indulgent sskk oneshot where Atsushi finally gets to ask Akutagawa why he saved him :>

tell me about the as we dance in the pale moonlight fic :000 from the ask game

That's the most boring WIP I have lmao 😭 but sure :D

It's a fluffy, kinda indulgent, oneshot I'm writing where Atsushi and Akutagawa simply just spend a night together. And, can you believe it, they end up dancing in the ✨moonlight✨

Idk I just love the idea of sskk dancing together but with no music and like, it's just *them*, together. It's peaceful and I love peaceful sskk

Here's a snippet (and no I don't know how to get italics on Tumblr 🙏 bear with me and my asterisks);

Akutagawa watched his red blood swirl down the drain of the sink, the pain from his injuries stinging lightly. He quietly sighed and looked in the mirror.

His black and white hair was messy, his skin was paler than usual and the bags under his eyes weren't helping with his tired appearance.

Akutagawa had gotten back from a mission, bloody and bruised, and gone to the bathroom almost immediately to wash his wounds and bandage himself up. 

He heard a knock on the door, before a voice spoke up.

"Ryuu?"

Akutagawa felt the corner of his mouth twitch up. Hearing Atsushi's voice made his muscles relax. He loved being able to come back to his apartment and Atsushi was there to greet him. 

"Yes, weretiger?" He answered back, turning off the tap and drying his hands on a towel. 

"Are you alright?" Atsushi, on the other side of the door, creased his eyebrows as his tiger-honed ears caught the sound of the water shutting off. He knew it was inevitable for Akutagawa to have been injured someway or another, that was just the nature of ex-vampire's job, but it didn't mean he wouldn't *worry.*

"I am fine," Akutagawa reassured in his weary voice. He unspooled the bandages and wrapped them gently around his raw, but now clean, wounds. 

Atsushi let out a small sigh of relief, he couldn't help it. After a few quiet moments, Akutagawa swung open the door with a loose tendril of Rashomon and was greeted with the sight of a very concerned weretiger.

The white-haired detective immediately assessed Akutagawa's bandages and how bad they appeared.

"Weretiger, I said *I am fine,*" Akutagawa repeated, knowing what was crossing Atsushi's mind.

He cupped Atsushi's face in his hands and looked his boyfriend in the eye, Akutagawa's silver glare turning soft as he met the weretiger's upset gaze. 

"You don't *look* fine." Atsushi grumbled, leaning into Akutagawa's calloused yet lithe touch. 

~~

Yeah I have no idea what the heck that even is, it's definitely not my best work 😭

Also anyone seeing this post can ask me about my other WIPs I'm very lonely and want to talk about writing 😔

Lover by Taylor Swift fits sskk imo 

I can't not think of the lyric:

"Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover" because of the "take me out" part obviously meaning on a date but also it can be interpreted as assassination in some contexts, and Akutagawa swore to kill Atsushi (as if that's ever gonna happen), but he could also take him on a date lmao 

"And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?" is a fitting lyric to the dynamic of their relationship about how connected they feel inevitably even if they haven't known each other long (they're soulmates 😔)

"Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my handI take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover" the scars lyric, the hearts lyric, everything in this song is just so sweetly sskk (if they started dating, at least)

Akutagawa really likes wrapping Rashomon around Atsushi's neck...

Talking about this scene where Atsushi and Akutagawa had to fight Ivan

Okay, first off, this is actually such an underrated moment for Sskk's development. It's the first time they use Kokko Zessou (the Singularity of Rashomon [more like rasHOMOn] and Beast Beneath the Moonlight) and Akutagawa and Atsushi learn more about each other as people, plus this is right before they make the six months promise. I really love seeing sskk together where they can actually talk, and don't just fight

And second of all, WHAT IS THIS FACE ATSUSHI??

he looks so into it 🙏

What in the home of sexual is that look, Atsushi 😭 it's already kinky af for Rashomon to wrap around his neck like that AND THEN ATSUSHI REACTS LIKE THAT

Also I'd like to mention Akutagawa is unusually gentle with Rashomon when he uses it on Atsushi

God they're so in love