If You Are Not A Darcy, A Tilney, A Wentworth Or A Knightley, I Am Not Interested.

*after dinner*

Atsushi, confused: what are you doing Ryuu?

Akutagawa: planting the tails of shrimps to grow them into new ones

Atsushi: h-how is that possible?

Akutagawa: Dazai-san taught me this, it is going to work, you will see.

Atsushi: you can't believe him he was ly---

Chuuya, shuts Atsushi's mouth: don't say things that will discourage a child and stop their imagination

Atsushi: but he is just wasting his time!

Chuuya, shaking his head: let him experiment and find the truth out himself, it's a learning experience for him.

Atsushi: w-where are you going now?

Chuuya: to beat the shit out of Dazai

Atsushi: understandable.

I genuinely believe the reason Dazai wants to protect Atsushi at all cost is because he has grown to care for him. It's not even because of Oda's promise or because of the huge bounty on Atsushi or even his big bad final boss plan for the future. He sees a little bit of himself in Atsushi, or more likely, the version of him that could have existed if he wasn't fucked up since he was a child.

Dazai admires Atsushi for the person he is, something he himself could never become.

Atsushi is someone innocent, naive, good at heart and caring. Someone that changes other people through his kindness and love. Someone who has gone through so many horrific things and still retains his humanity.

At this point Dazai has completely accepted his love (platonic) for Atsushi and his entire mission hinges on that.

Every valentine's day Chuuya gets desperate, passionate love letters from someone whom he doesn't know. It's full of poetic lines and cryptic messages about how they are fated to be together and are soulmates. He wonders who this secret admirer is and decides to write back to them and ask them out on a date.

He goes to the restaurant they decide to meet at and takes a U-turn back to the receptionist and cancels his reservation when he sees Dazai sitting there waiting for him. Because Chuuya.exe has stopped working.

INTP: why don't we have any food in our fridge?

ENTP: I thought you were doing groceries

INTP: when was the last time I left the house?

ENTP: I don't remember

INTP: What were you doing in the mall for four hours?

ENTP: I FORGOT OKAY

INTP: at least you bought other stuff on the list, right?

ENTP: what list?

INTP: you know what, let's forget it. You paid the bills right? You said you would

*light goes out*

ENTP:.....looks like I didn't.

INTP: it was my fault actually, to trust you with it.

ENTP: you want takeout?

INTP: is that an apology?

Me and my friends hanging out and talking about our fictional crushes:

Friends: normal crushes on attractive characters

Me: has a crush on only main character's brothers

Friends: omg looks likes you have a brother complex...hahaha.....just kidding

Me: heh....no of course not

Me, later in my bed: I think I do have a brother complex caused by lack of male figures to look up that has made me in want of finding them in other peoples siblings.....

Me: or they are just hot when they are two years older

Honestly, Francis and Richard would vibe so much with "The Tortured Poet's Department"-----

Jinshi: would you love me if I were a bug, Maomao?🥺🥺🥺

Maomao: ugh. You are already a bug. No you are LESS than a bug, I love bugs.

Jinshi: so you love me a little less than a bug 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Gaoshun: Master Jinshi, stop embarrassing yourself 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Gryffindor: Is Ravenclaw alright? What's wrong with them?

Hufflepuff: what do you mean by that, they look completely fine!

Gryffindor: they are literally crying in corner with a cup of coffee since half an hour.

Hufflepuff: we all cry sometimes out of the blue...

Gryffindor: really? I DON'T. Hey Slytherin can you talk to Ravenclaw? You seem like the only person who understands them

Slytherin: *shrugs in a nonchalant way* Okay

(Walks to Ravenclaw, bends down and asks softly)

Slytherin: are you alright, buddy?

Ravenclaw: I finished a book and....

Slytherin: and your favourite character died?

Ravenclaw: YES AND I'M DEPRESSED. WHY DO THE GOOD CHARACTERS DIE?

Slytherin: and was this character a morally grey anti hero?

Ravenclaw:......how do you know.

Slytherin: I get it I have been there *patting their head*

Gryffindor: did I just witness Slytherin showing affection?

Hufflepuff: *squee*

(I know we all love the Hufflepuff×Slytherin but....I LOVE Ravenclaw×Slytherin way more!!!! It's like two very similar people but yet so different. And THE POTENTIAL CHEMISTRY!!!)

Henry: let's kill Bunny.

Francis: sounds good

Charles: no problemo

Camilla: I don't care if you do

Richard:....okay? Yay, killing bunny!!!

Me: YOU ARE GONNA COVER UP A MURDER BY ANOTHER MURDER????? I KNOW WE HATE HIM,BUT MURDER, HENRY SERIOUSLY! AND RICHARD WHY ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO GET INVOLVED???? DIDN'T YOU COME HERE FOR THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE, IS MURDER A COLLEGE EXPERIENCE????

Also, me: wait I already knew Bunny was getting killed why I am so surprised.....I had forgotten it was coming?

Also, me: fuck Bunny, let's kill him!

✨ My BSD hot takes/unpopular opinions ✨:

1. Identifying BSD characters as Queer, is not problematic. STOP being so Heteronormative. Gay characters are not gonna kill you.

If I see another "BuT tHe ChArAcTeRs nEvEr SaId tHeY aRe GaY" I would bomb you 💣/j

2. Skk/SSKK/Fyolai/other popular ships, exist because people like it. If you don't ship them, don't engage with their content. Not all shippers act crazy and toxic. Stop blaming everything on shippers.

3. Atsushi/Kyouka is problematic, stop justifying it with "only 4 year age gap". Kyouka is a CHILD, ship her with Kenji if you want. Atsushi, like a normal 18 year old would never look at a highschool freshman and date her. Even if they date in the future, he knew her when she was younger and they had a sibling like dynamic. Lucy is a way better love interest to Atsushi (Don't know if this is an unpopular opinion tho, but I saw some people justifying it 😐😐😐)

4. DAZAI IS NOT EVIL. HE IS FAR FROM EVIL. He is, despite being super popular and the face of BSD, the most mischaracterized and villified character. Morally grey characters exist??!!!

5. Mori is a way worse person than Dazai ever was.

6. PM members get a free pass for any heinous crime they commit by being hot or babygirl-ified (still love them tho, we do not often discuss how bad their actions have been, you can like criminals and acknowledge they are criminals in fiction. I would add DoA to this too, but it's worse with the PM)

7. Akutagawa's abuse of Kyouka shouldn't be forgotten just because Dazai abused Akutagawa.

8. Mori emotionally manipulated and abused Dazai when he was a teen. Just because it wasn't physical, doesn't mean it was nothing.

9. Atsushi is NOT a soft boy, he is way bitter, salty and sarcastic than we give him credit

10. Poe is important to Ranpo and their friendship/relationship is wholesome as hell

11. Ranpo and Yosano's friendship is way better than them being in a relationship in the future

12. FukuFuku is better than Fukumori (imo!!!!)

13. Buying real authors work after watching BSD is actually a really good thing, since more Gen z kids (or other people) will read classics

14. There are layers to Atsushi and Akutagawa relationship/rivalry, and they have the MOST important relationship (not meaning romantic, just in general) in the entire canon.

15. Kunikida and Yosano could be a power couple

16. Fyodor is not a great villain (yet)

17. Nikolai CARRIES the DoA

18. Sigma shouldn't be in the ADA, he needs a happy home, family and some time to adjust to normal life

19. Q and Elise are both underused characters and could become a great dynamic

20. Ango deserves more love, the amount of pressure and stress he deals with is INSANE

21. It's OKAY if everyone joins the fandom for Dazai or skk (I did at first too!!)

22. Higuchi is annoying as hell. I do not get her hype, I like her but not as much as most people (just personal opinion, do not flame me 😭)

23. Everyone in The Guild is forgettable or boring (except Fitzgerald, Poe and Lucy. I like Louisa, but I forget her all the time)

24. Hetero ships are just not that great/interesting in BSD to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ (except maybe AtsuLucy or rare pairs) and female characters are not best utilised, I wish they play more major roles (can't wait for Agatha to arrive!!)

25. Some fan theories/arts get the story better than "canon" stuff at times. Fanon is NOT always the worst (sometimes enjoyable when the canon gets too dark or sad)

26. Toxic ships are okay in fiction as long as they are legal. Humans like toxic things, we consume it like junk food 💅🏻

(These are all personal opinions of mine and do not matter. Feel free to disagree. But, do not hate or be toxic!!!! 😇😇😇😇)

(PS: I compiled all these because of posts I have seen in, Reddit, Pinterest, Twitter and sometimes Tiktok. These aren't really abt you Tumblr folks. I meant to post this on reddit but did not have the courage or mental strength lol)