Latest Posts by mikayuumouse - Page 3

IT'S 👏👏 BECAUSE 👏👏 HE LOVES 👏👏 YOU!!!!! 👏👏👏👏👏

Can anyone be more dense omg I can't with these two

Me when I'm reading the sskk are gay and in love manga and sskk are gay and in love

What do you mean. What do you mean Akutagawa didn't know why Atsushi saved him. What do you mean Atsushi saw how Dazai treated Akutagawa, thus adding a new layer of understanding between them. What do you mean Akutagawa wanted to kill Atsushi for fear he would never be accepted "and then—" And then what, you fell in love??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN DAZAI WAS THE DIRECTOR BECAUSE ATSUSHI TOO HAS TO ACCEPT HIS PAST—

Can I talk about the fact Akutagawa doesn’t understand why Atsushi saved him, even though he did the exact same thing for Atsushi. Him using the word 'protect' rather than save is also so powerful to me because that's inherently what Akutagawa always has been- a protector. He was born with his ability and he protected his sister, the other kids in the slums with it. He sacrificed himself so Atsushi could leave the ship. And now, we've yet to see how Bram's wish will play out, but he was asked to protect Aya. Rashomon is shaped like knight armour on him at this exact moment.

And yet he can't understand why someone would do the same for him???? Absolutely INSANE. He's spent so long protecting others and then trying to better himself for approval, to be able to survive on his own by sheer violence that he can't fathom anyone doing the same for him. It was probably the same when Higuchi and the black lizards saved him when he was comatose.

And likely, he knows Atsushi views him as immoral and his actions as abhorrent, and is stuck on the fact Atsushi has had a sudden switch (sudden to him) in such a huge way that he'd die for him, since Atsushi has never been shy about telling Akutagawa just what he thinks of him. He can’t fathom Atsushi seeing his violence and hatred toward him and knowing him so deeply without understanding him and also choosing to save him.

Asagiri you're insane for this truly.

Do not fucking even try the argument "but Akutagawa hates Atsushi" with me

I will only respond with these panels. And probably an entire essay on their entire relationship but still

Tell me you're in love with him without telling me you're in love with him

So like

Akutagawa is in love with Atsushi

If you took this out of context this would genuinely look like an enemies to lovers romance manga scene 🙏

Also Harukawa wrote an illustrator's note (I think it's at the end of volume 5?) about how she draws eyes, and how she portrays the character's current growth, personality and aspect on the world through their eyes

Akutagawa's eyes have almost always been dark, the representation for how dark his life and character is

But Atsushi brings light to them

In chapter 121.5 where Akutagawa's eyes grow wide as he sees Atsushi die, it's not just a show of how shocked Akutagawa is, it shows how Atsushi lightens Akutagawa's eyes, how much he's affected him for the greater good. Atsushi brings out a new side to Akutagawa

His eyes are incredibly light as he recalls his memories and gets hit by Atsushi's death that wasn't even just a death, but a death to save him. To protect him

Because Atsushi thinks Akutagawa is worth protecting

So just, like, I really love how chapter 122 not only shows Atsushi finally seeing Akutagawa's past and fully understanding Akutagawa's trauma and even relating to him, but it also shows how Akutagawa truly feels about Atsushi (although the "and then..." definitely left us on a cliffhanger)

I love them

For those of you who may not be too familiar with the manga, during ch39: Portrait of a Father, Akutagawa shows up, as Dazai's informant, to give Atsushi documents about who the orphanage headmaster was and what happened to him.

At that moment, Akutagawa shows an uncharacteristic clemency towards Atsushi, saying that "Atsushi's master died today", and compares this to his own relationship with Dazai.

This was a long time ago now, and a lot has happened since. The Cannibalism arc is right after this, where they are very antagonistic towards each other, and includes this scene:

Akutagawa, despite his bitterness towards Atsushi for who he is to Dazai, has seen how similar they are in this sense. Atsushi hasn't, because his gratefulness towards Dazai prevents him from seeing that Akutagawa's experience was completely different with this same person. (he's also not given any time by the narrative to wonder about it)

but then just came along chapter 122!!!

Atsushi gets to see, 1:1, the relationship between Akutagawa and Dazai. For the first time, Akutagawa is relatable to him.

And of course, at the end, Atsushi calls out the illusion as being the headmaster wearing Dazai's face because we are closing this loop! We are forcing Atsushi to see Akutagawa the same way Akutagawa has been seeing him!

tayfusions by alef vernon.

peter - taylor swift

I'M TRYING TO PUT TOGETHER BRAINCELLS AND MAKE COHERENT POSTS ABOUT CHAPTER 122 BUT I CAN'TTTTT BECAUSE MY BRAIN IS STILL PROCESSING EVERYTHING AND I'M SCREAMING 😭

sskk nation is having the best time of their lives rn

Atsushi saw Akutagawa's past. He learned about Akutagawa's trauma. He knows how Akutagawa was treated, how he was taught, what he was put through.

He understands Akutagawa now

He fully sees Akutagawa for his humanity now

Atsushi has seen Akutagawa's darkest, most vulnerable side now

And that's just so...

I can't even put it into words oh my God, their relationship is so complex and heartfelt I'm screaming

I have a feeling that Akutagawa doesn't mind Atsushi seeing his past, seeing him at weakest, lowest point

I think their trust runs deeper than that

Also Akutagawa isn't alone anymore. Nor is Atsushi, because they have each other. Akutagawa has someone who knows and tells him he isn't weak, Atsushi has someone who can be by his side and save him. I feel like without each other they aren't complete

atsushi—the one to finally understand akutagawa’s humanity. now seeing his backstory, witnessing the lowest moments of akutagawa’s life—when he was most dehumanized—through his own eyes. someone finally seeing them for what they truly were: tragedy, relentless abuse, the suffering of a wounded child. no more the image of a heartless beast. no more “this is what needed to happen.” no more “this was the only way akutagawa could have learned.”

as someone who has seen the depths of akutagawa’s heart, as someone who has brought change within him through trust, sincerity, and companionship. as someone who treasures akutagawa’s humanity and fights for it—begging him not to lose to himself, because now, atsushi equates akutagawa with that humanity. he would die before letting him surrender to its erosion—and he did sacrifice himself for it.

as someone who, when akutagawa fully reveals that deeply human side of himself, embraces it so completely that he replicates that moment in his own sacrifice.

and now, he watches as akutagawa’s humanity is torn down, again and again. but he is someone who understands—down to the depths of his heart—that akutagawa’s humanity is inherent. that no matter what anyone else, even the narrative itself, wants him to believe—nothing can take that away.

"and then..."

AND THEN WHAT AKUTAGAWA

YOU REALIZED YOU DIDN'T HATE HIM? YOU REALIZED HE MEANT THE WORLD TO YOU? YOU REALIZED HE VALUED YOU? YOU REALIZED YOU CARED ABOUT HIM? YOU REALIZED THAT HE WAS YOUR EQUAL?

oh my god chapter 122 is killing me it's amazing

If the actual end of the sentence is "and then I realized I love him" I WILL LOSE MY SHIT.

THE LATEST CHAPTER OH MY GOD?? OH MY FUCKING GOD????

Asagiri I love you 🙏

Okay so like

Pls I'm still processing everything oh my GOD what the what just happened like oml THE ATSUSHI DEVELOPMENT HELLO?? THE DAZAI DELUSION REVEAL???

and tHE SSKK

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THE SSKK

ATSUSHI SAW AKUTAGAWA'S PAST NOW?? THEY HAVE A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING NOW??? AND LIKE

UENGDNVSGKEJGSSGJDGJDJHSFHFS FOAMING AT THE MOUTH RN

okay so like

is Akutagawa maybe actually kinda really in love with Atsushi??

AAAAAAAAA I LOVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC AND GROWTH

This chapter was full of new things aistidvmufsitshffj oml Atsushi Atsushi Atsushi my baby oml I'm still trying to figure everything out like I have two braincells rn oml I love this chapter though AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i am unwell

sweet nothings

akutagawa

(read left to right)

in a dream, on a wave.

OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.

I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.

At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.

He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)

Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.

In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.

I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.

thinking about this forever btw.

@mi1ikan

*Mrrrr*

Tbh going “Oh so you died for me? You made me go through the traumatic event of watching you die in front of my eyes? You forced me to see someone I love die in front of me while completely powerless, unable to stop it? You had me taste how it feels to live in a world without you? You cursed me to experience what it's like to have my soul be split in half? To be forced to go on while regret and despair weigh you down? You showed me the horror of living in the complete solitude that is existing without you, showed me the excruciating pain, the inextinguishable grief? Well guess what, I'm returning you the favour.” is such a sskk thing to do. They're just petty like that

Said it before will say it again; Akutagawa totally pulled up that feat just to show up in front of Atsushi

I truly feel bad for Akutagawa, though. Like, I think we're overlooking the fact that that's a man Akutagawa gave his life to save, because that same man's life was that precious to him. And now he died in front of his eyes. The man Akutagawa willingly committed the ultimate sacrifice for in order to save. Seeing Atsushi die, right in front of him, without him having the chance to do anything to impede it... That has to be a worse fate than death for Akutagawa.

Something that gets me as much if not even more emotional than Atsushi sacrificing himself is... The fact that Akutagawa cares. He cares so much about Atsushi. And it's silly of mine to even be surprised, we already knew that he cared: he died for him! But all the same, Akutagawa is someone so who feels so inherently evil, so deeply cursed, so fundamentally unfit for love, the fact that he's capable of loving someone in a way that is so deep, so spontaneous, so raw– it's so profoundly moving.

Squishy chuuya for the soul🍷 and some skk

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64362169

Wrote an indulgent sskk oneshot where Atsushi finally gets to ask Akutagawa why he saved him :>