What Do You Mean. What Do You Mean Akutagawa Didn't Know Why Atsushi Saved Him. What Do You Mean Atsushi

jolts upright I've just had a realization. how much did atsushi think about when akutagawa died? how much did he replay it in his mind, go over every detail again and again? how much did he mourn it, grieve him? how many times did he recall akutagawa's last words? because for atsushi to be able to, in a split second, as he *dies* and everything around him has already gone to shit, recall what akutagawa said to him, and repeat it back? it must have been constantly.

I hope the person who made the post “Oda was holding Dazai's face in his last moment so that his ability could nullify his own and wouldn't have had to go through his dead twice” knows the thought haunts me every day

Sooo this was kinda supposed to be finished by Valentines Day but I may be a bit late ^^'

Specifically talking about this panel, okay one, I really hope Bones doesn't fuck this whole scene up. Atsushi better "die" as graceful as hell, they messed up so badly with Akutagawa's death 😭

But also I'm excited to see what the eventual season six brings with this scene (although season six is like more than a year away) because hearing this scene and watching it move is going to amaze me all over again

Also, Akutagawa has said that he doesn't hate Atsushi (source: 55 Minutes), and then there's this. The gayest cherry on top in existence and I love it. He's worried and concerned about Atsushi, he's *desperate*

This panel shows how Akutagawa truly is on the inside. He's not a vampire, he's not a killer, he's not a knight at this moment. He's simply Akutagawa Ryuunosuke and he's watching the boy he loves die for him. He's being hit with all of his emotions and memories at once while making a new memory; one that will live with him forever even if Atsushi comes back

It's just

So insane to see Akutagawa like this for once

God this chapter is amazing

I'm screaming crying and throwing up for the millionth time since 121.5 dropped because Akutagawa *cares* about Atsushi. Atsushi, the person who sees him for who he is, the person who understands him without words, the person who makes him feel like he's worth something. He cares about him.

Ok I am certain I am not the first, nor will be the last to think of it that way but.. Is nobody gonna talk about how Atsushi just gave him the most intense bedroom eyes in that panel.

Excuse me but,, ,the soft gaze with heavy eyelids, the coyly arched eyebrow, the tenderest of smiles. Idk about you but I sure don't look at my friends/rivals that way. There is not a single not-romantic thing about this look (and this line, but you already knew that).

He overcame his fear of death for Aku's sake with zero certainty of what's to come. In this short fragment of time there was no pain, no worry in his eyes, just pure adoration and peace of mind that he’d finally done the right thing.

Something that gets me as much if not even more emotional than Atsushi sacrificing himself is... The fact that Akutagawa cares. He cares so much about Atsushi. And it's silly of mine to even be surprised, we already knew that he cared: he died for him! But all the same, Akutagawa is someone so who feels so inherently evil, so deeply cursed, so fundamentally unfit for love, the fact that he's capable of loving someone in a way that is so deep, so spontaneous, so raw– it's so profoundly moving.

Concept: Atsushi having the most terrifying reputation outside of the Agency.

The police know him as a dangerous beast that they couldn’t handle on their alone. And the man eating tiger rumours may not have ever been dispelled.

The Port Mafia know him as powerful ability user that not only bested Akutugawa. But put him in a coma no one thought he’d wake up from.

And subsequently became the only person that can match Akutugawa as an equal.

The fight between Lucy where Atsushi threatened to trap her “in a hell of her own making” was all witnessed by Mori.

And that the only reason their organisations are allied is because of Atsushi.

The Guild watched Atsushi jump off the Moby Dick while being gunned down and survive. They know he survived Lucy’s ability and defeated Fitzgerald.

The special abilities division know the hand he played in taking down Shibusawa as well as every battle he’s ever had.

Even random gangs in Yokohama have heard about that time the Agency went after that one guy for attacking their staff.

The trial of bodies that Atsushi left behind as he went after the rest.

“Oh shit it’s the weretiger” is a cry that no one ever wants knows to hear.

Happy Birthday, Akutagawa!

Recently saw the phrase "double-blind" in my psych textbook and it made me think of double-black. And then I thought of some more variations, so now i'm making it yall's problem.

I also did a little comic for "double-bind" but I'll post that separately