distractedhobbyists

Latest Posts by distractedhobbyists

*looks at books* too tired for you *looks at films* too tired for you *looks at art supplies* too tired for you *eyes fall on tumblr* oho ho

i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

Read it on ao3

Sixteen.

I somehow slept through that entire night, only to be woken up by the smell of fresh coffee and a phone call from my sister. Right, it’s Sunday, no school for her but I assume Dad is making her go to church. Nobody in my family is religious besides my mother. Dad kept making us go after she passed, maybe trying to atone for his sins.

“Hello?” I say in a groggy voice.

“Good morning to you too,” Brynne says with a huff, “I thought farmers were supposed to get up early, it’s almost ten.”

“Even farmers need a day off,” I say, “what’s up?”

“Currently hiding in the bathroom at church,” she says, “but I got my midterm scores back.”

“All A’s I hope,” I say while sitting up in bed. Sebastian enters my room with nothing but his boxers on and holding two cups of coffee. He hands me one and I mouth a “thank you” to him. The first sip warms up my body and I feel like I can finally pay attention to my sister. 

“Currently trying to get my English teacher to raise my eighty-nine point nine to a ninety,” she says, “I’m doing all the extra credit he’s giving me, but it still isn’t enough.”

“You’re only halfway done with the semester,” I say, “you have time to get it up before then.”

“You were always the artsy one,” she sighs, “I don’t have a creative bone in my body.”

“You can do math,” I assure her, “if all else fails maybe you can be my accountant,” I laugh. I can practically hear her eyes roll over the phone.

“Psh, hell no… Oh shit, I gotta go. He’s probably wondering where I am and I’ve already used the period excuse this month,” she says.

“Say you were pooping. I used to use that excuse all the time,” I say.

“Ewww. I’m not telling our Dad that I was pooping in church!”

“He won’t ask questions if you do,” I say while taking another sip of my coffee. She sighs and we bid our goodbyes. I set my phone down on my nightstand and look over at Sebastian who has rejoined me in bed. He’s scrolling on his phone and my nosy ass decides to look over his shoulder.

“Plan B?” I ask, watching him scroll through options on Jojamon.

“If I order it now, it’ll get here just in time. But there’s so many different brands, which one is the best?” he wonders, scrunching up his nose. 

“Don’t worry about that,” I say while taking another sip of my coffee.

“You want a fucked up little kid running around here?” he turns his attention to me with a look of horror. I can’t help but laugh and grab his hand to place on my opposite arm.

“Feel this,” I say, guiding his fingers to where my birth control rests. His thumb brushes over it and he pulls his hand away immediately.

“Yoba’s child! What the hell is that?” I chuckle and turn my whole body to face him, sitting cross legged.

“My birth control, duh. You think I wanna worry about condoms all the time? I’m a busy gal, I got things to do,” I say, drinking up his shocked expression.

“What about STDs?” he asks.

“You got herpes?”

“No.”

“HIV?”

“No.”

“HPV?”

“No?”

“Hepatitis A, B, or C?”

“Definitely not.”

“Then, don’t worry about it,” I say, finishing off the rest of my coffee. “You want breakfast?

“What are you making?” he asks while taking my mug from me. We both get up and make our way to the kitchen.

“Fried egg and hash browns. I can make pancakes too but that’ll take me a minute,” I say while brushing my hand on his lower back as I make my way to the fridge. 

“No need for the pancakes, that’s almost a complete breakfast,” he said and his nose scrunched up again. I took my pointer and middle finger and pulled at his nose gently. 

“So picky,” I say teasingly, “you’re lucky I don’t have any milk.” I go into the fridge and pantry and take out what I need: oil, eggs, and two potatoes. 

“No cows yet, huh? Just chickens and ducks?” he asks while refilling both our coffees. 

“And soon to be rabbits!” I say while taking the mug from him, “the animals are great but they’re a handful.” I was mainly focused on trying to finish the community center that Lewis tasked me to do. I couldn’t tell him that I was giving magical apples supplies for their trip back to the spirit realm, he would think I was having a psychotic break. I needed to forage in the winter and get a damn rabbit then I would have more time to focus on the animals. They’re very particular. 

“I see,” he says while I grate the potatoes, “if they’re a handful then you should hire a farm hand.” I shrug and throw the potatoes into the oil that was heating up in a pan. 

“When my sister finishes school maybe I can make her help me. She’ll need to learn some discipline after all,” I reply, “even though Dad finally showed his true colors, he still spoiled her.”

“Like Sam? He’s the most spoiled kid I know,” Sebastian laughs as I flip the hash browns and wait for the other side to brown. 

“Similar. But Jodi wants her sons to have a childhood, to enjoy their youth. My Dad used my sister as an escape to deal with losing his wife too soon. He used me as a way to get back at Grandpa.” I take the hash browns out of the oil and crack two eggs into the same pan. We’re quiet, listening to the eggs sizzle in the grease from the potatoes. 

“What are you doing tonight?” He breaks the silence as I plate up breakfast and grab the pot of coffee. I top off his coffee and sit down.

“Probably farm chores,” I say, “what about you?”

“How important are those chores?” he asks while taking a sip of his coffee, never breaking eye contact with me. I do my best not to choke on the eggs I just shoveled into my mouth. 

“Not super important…”

“Do you wanna go on a ride later?” he asks, spreading the food around on his plate but never eating. He did mention going out but I didn’t think he would want to immediately. 

“I’m down,” I say after I swallow my food and take a sip of my coffee.

“Come over around six. Wear a jacket, it’s gonna be chilly,” he says and finally takes a bite of his food. We sit in a comfortable silence for the rest of breakfast. Just the two of us, sipping on our coffee in the nude, just us. It felt good to be this comfortable with someone. But the comfortability didn’t last long as someone started banging on my front door. 

“Farmer! You awake?” Abby’s voice echoes in my ears as Seb and share the same look of terror. I glance from him to the sink and he hands me his plate without making a sound. We somehow come up with a game plan with our eyes before the next knock comes.

“Farmer! Nobody’s seen you all day, where the hell are you?” Sam’s voice. I swiftly and quietly put both dishes in the sink while Sebastian grabs the clothes that were tossed near the door, he tosses me his hoodie while he tiptoes into my room. I pulled it over my head, making sure that it covered all my goods before answering the door. 

“Hello?” I ask, trying to sound groggy like I just woke up. The two of them push past me and enter the living room. Sam reaches down and scoops up Miso in his arms. 

“Farmer, I just wanted to say that I’m so sorry about how I acted last night,” she says. I raise my eyebrow at her.

“You didn’t do anything crazy,” I said, “you watched anime and took a nap.”

“But like you made my parents dinner just to get me out of my predicament. You didn’t have to do that!” She wraps her arms around my shoulders and hugs me. I pat her back.

“Well, I wanted to hang out with you. I would always do something like that for you,” I say. She sniffles but then quickly pulls away from me.

“Is that Seb’s hoodie?” A blush creeps over my face.

“Yea it got cold on the walk home last night…” Sam sets Miso down on the couch and walks over to us. He grabs the hood and takes a long sniff.

“That’s Seb’s alright,” he says. Abby and I exchange a look. 

“Did you just identify him by his smell?” I ask. Sam looks a little embarrassed but tries to shrug it off.

“She’s got one just like it, figured if it smelled like him it would be his,” he explains.

“They kissed once, I don’t think he’s over it,” Abby says nonchalantly.  Sam knits his eyebrows together and sighs.

“Why won’t you let us live this down?”

“When you stop doing weird shit like sniffing his hoodie.” I giggle as they go back and forth for a bit. “Did you wear this to bed?” Abby returns the attention back to the hoodie and I sigh.

“I sleep naked… you guys scared the shit outta me and this was the closest thing I could grab,” I lied, hoping it would get them out of my house faster. Sam and Abby exchange a look while I shake my head.

“You owe me five bucks,” Abby says to Sam.

“Hell no, this is no proof!” he exclaims and she rolls her eyes.

“Sebastian would never give a girl his hoodie unless he liked her or something,” she shakes her head and points to the evidence on my body. My eyes widen and Abby points to my face. “Don’t make that face, we all know you have such a fat crush on him!”

“Alright, everybody out!” I say as I usher them out my door.

“Hey wait– do you wanna hang out? We’re about to go get Sebby,” Sam says while putting all of his weight on me, thinking I’d collapse. Instead, I give him a hard shove and he stumbles out my door.

“I have chores and a book I want to start. Check back tomorrow,” I say before closing the door and locking it behind me. I exhale and hear them walk off my property, muttering something. Sebastian peeks his head out from my room, now fully clothed except for his hoodie. 

“They gone?” I nod and he sighs, “sorry for freaking out like that. I-I’m not ready to tell them about something that happened less than twenty four hours ago…” he trails off and rubs the back of his neck. I frown, watching his eyes dart away from me. I get closer to him, grabbing his cheek and resting my other hand on his chest.

“Lets just see where this goes, yea? Abby’s not wrong, I do really like you,” I say. He leans into my palm that’s resting on his cheek and sighs. 

“So come over at six?” he whispers while giving my hand a kiss. I take off his hoodie and hand it back to him.

“I’ll bring my own.” He gazes down at me, drinking up everything I had to offer.

“It’s a date.”

changes (poem)

my favorite pair of shoes are falling apart, again.

they last fell apart the summer before my senior year of high school. 

this time, they’re falling apart before i even reach the summer before senior year.

they’re falling apart, again. 

they last fell apart the summer after the worst year of my life.

this time, they’re falling apart during the worst months i’ve had in a long time.

they’re falling apart, again.

they last fell apart when it was all i could do not to dream about the future.

this time, they’re falling apart when it’s all i can do not to worry about the future.

they’re falling apart, again.

they last fell apart when i was putting myself together again.

this time, they’re falling apart when i’m trying my best not to fall apart.

they’re falling apart, again.

i’m falling apart, again.

a lil collage I did <3

sharing it here cuz TECHNICALLY this blog is not just sdv LAWL

Stardew Valley Chicken

to the poor unfortunate souls that i have and will continue to spam when im procrastinating, sorry (really. but also. not that sorry.)

wishing I could freeze time so fanfic writers could write all of their slow-burn enemies to lovers and gay porn and fix-it fics and all of their WIPs and prompts without having to worry about life and other responsibilities

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them

meet the blog xo

hi friendz <3 

i’m anna (@distractedhobbyists)! i’m 21 (scary) and luv creative writing/journaling/crocheting/cozy gaming/making new friends ! pls reach out if u wanna chat, my dms r always open xoxoxo

masterlist

longfic

the consequences of desire (my heart + soul) (1/2/3/)

meet the oc

one shots

beating the heat

good morning, dear

drabbles

shane: x

harvey: x/x

sam: x

the consequences of desire

Apple Music - Web Player

Read your Mind by Sabrina Carpenter on Apple Music

Song · 2022 · Duration 3:27

restorations // chapter three

read on ao3 here!

on my fifth day in the valley, i opened my mailbox to see a flyer informing me that a mine had opened up on the mountaintop. after grabbing my pickaxe and a few parsnips, i made my way up the mountain to be greeted by an older man with an eyepatch. 

he introduced himself as marlon and warned me about the dangers i’d face below. with the wimpy sword he’d given me to protect myself with, i swallowed my fears and descended. 

i’d already nearly exhausted myself on the third floor. just my luck, i’d supposed. i swung my sword wildly as a bat nearly knocked me off my feet. i reached in my pack for a parsnip, only to find that i’d brought only three with me, all of which i had already eaten. 

gone already? what is wrong with me today? i thought to myself. 

it suddenly occurred to me just how unprepared for the strength and energy that was required for this journey i was, leaving aside the simple fact that i had barely any of the required materials… my pickaxe was far too weak, my sword was falling apart, and i’d only just finished growing my first batch of parsnips (ninety percent of which i’d sold to lewis that morning). 

these are the reasons i gave myself as why it was okay that i’d woken up in Harvey's arms as he carried me out of the mines and into town, maru trailing behind him with a worried look on her face.

i floated in and out of consciousness as we walked past the large house on the mountaintop, past the old, broken down community center, and finally toward the door of the clinic where he readjusted our positions so he could unlock his door. 

i groaned as he cradled me in his arms and saw him look down at me, almost frightened. 

the last thing i remember before everything going dark is making eye contact with the doctor as he walked us across the threshold of his clinic.

–

when i opened my eyes next, i was in a hospital bed with Harvey leaning over me. 

he didn’t notice me open my eyes immediately so i just regarded him for a moment. i think he could feel my eyes on him after a moment because he suddenly remembered himself, his body covering mine in a way far too intimate for a doctor and his patient.

he tensed and i couldn’t help but reach up to touch his shoulder in an attempt to try to get him to relax a bit. he regarded my hand for a minute before meeting my eyes.

with a huffed breath, he whispered “hi. um, you got in an accident today. when maru found you in the mines, it appeared as though you’d been knocked out. by what, we still don’t know. i was able to repair all of your injuries without much trouble. do you have any insurance? i’ll need to bill you for the service.”

he paused for a moment before saying, “you know what? nevermind. let’s worry about that later. how much pain are you in? do you need more penicillin? i can get you some acetaminophen or maybe some benadryl but it’s a little late in the day–”

i was obviously still high as shit from the effects of whatever kind of drug the doctor must’ve put me under because in the middle of his diatribe, i brought up a finger to his lips and shushed him. 

he seemed surprised at first, maybe even a little rattled, but softened almost immediately. “you’re right. i’m sorry, Calliope. i’ve been hovering, and i should give you some time to rest. or, at least, some time to be alone. maru told me that you have plans tonight at the saloon.”

had i not been “up in the clouds,” as it were, i might’ve wondered why the town doctor had asked his colleague if i’d had plans tonight, but as such, i simply said “come with me.”

his eyes had wandered to where my fingers had landed following their personal space invasion but snapped back to mine as he processed my words.

“n-no. i.. i couldn’t. i wouldn’t want to intrude on you four. and.. i wouldn’t feel comfortable. the old man in the corner… you’d feel obligated to include me in conversation and it’d make you miserable,” he said, taking a step away from the bed, and, suddenly, the room temperature dropped noticeably.

“wait,” i said, sitting up (and immediately wincing), “it’s not going to be like that. i promise. plus, it won’t be four of us and you. sebastian’s not coming. something about a looming deadline. it’ll be me, sam, and abby. and you. hopefully. and i need someone else there so that i don’t get caught third wheeling! they haven’t admitted it… but there’s something going on there, i just know it…” 

as i conspired about a budding relationship between two of my neighbors, i turned my head and began chewing on my fingernails, a habit i’d picked up as an anxious eight-year-old and hadn’t been able to kick since. i had, however, not done it in public since fifteen. 

when i finally realized that i was, of course, not alone, i immediately pulled my fingers out of my mouth and felt my face get hot with embarrassment. i couldn’t look him in the eyes as i mumbled an apology.

his mouth parted in a small smile before saying, “don’t be. i think it’s cute.”

my eyes widened, my head snapping over to him again. “what?” i said. 

it seemed the doctor, too, was rendered speechless. he swallowed before pausing, as if to make up an excuse. finally, he said, “well! you are all patched up and free to go. let me know if you need anything else from me, Calliope.”

before i could reply, he turned on his heel and practically ran out of the room. 

minutes later, i walked out into the waiting room of the small clinic, after gathering my things and ensuring i looked decent enough for the outside world. Harvey was there, and appeared to be busying himself with various papers. 

i didn’t manage to catch his eye, but before walking out, i repeated my offer to him.

“just think about it,” i finally said. without a look back, i left the clinic, still in pain, definitely exhausted, and scared as hell that i might just fall in love after all.

when you grew up as a lonely uncool girl it will never stop haunting you by the way. you will meet a cool person at a bar or the train station or at a friend's party and you can wear your most stylish outfit and striking eye makeup and you will swear that they can see through all of the facade and see the lonely terribly insecure teenage girl you used to be who desperately wanted to connect and you will swear that they know that there is like an insurmountable gap between you. this will happen forever

the thing about having a job is i just don’t want to do it. Sorry

me after this fucking red eye

Me every single night:

HEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

Read it on ao3

TW: Smut. This whole chapter is smut.

Fifteen.

He was obedient. He may have taken the lead but everything I asked for, I got. “On your knees,” I said after we had entered the farmhouse with our lips and tongues tangled together. Like if we both devour each other this feeling will last forever. He wasn’t hesitant to obey me, sinking down to his knees, burying himself in my dress, taking my panties off with his teeth, and kissing up and down my thighs. Forget porno, how many romance novels has this guy read? His slender fingers danced across my skin, like how I imagined Michaelangelo touched his marble before carving the Statue of David from it. I gasp under his touch, growing wetter the longer I had to wait.

“Spell it out for me,” he says using my previous words against me, “tell me what you want me to do.” He lays his tongue flat at the bottom of my entrance and licks all the way up to my clit, giving it a good suck before pulling it away. An involuntary whimper escapes my throat and he goes back to kissing my inner thighs. He takes some of the fragile skin between his teeth and gently nips. I groan at the pinching on my thighs, slinging my leg onto his shoulder.

“Eat me,” I say, “I know you’re starving.” He doesn’t hesitate to lap at my wet cunt and we moan in synch at contact.

“So…divine,” he whimpers into me while lapping every fold until he lands on my clit. I inhaled sharply but he already knew where he was before my indication. His tongue piercing dances around my clit as he sucks, nips, and attacks.

“Ohhh…fuck,” I moan, wondering if he knew what he was doing when he got his tongue pierced. “More.” Obediently, he inserts a finger into my soft and gushing hole. The feeling is enough to make me tremble, but I need more. “More,” I gasp, feeling his finger flick inside me before inserting his second finger. The second finger stretches me out ever so slightly before I relax and tighten around his fingers. I wanted to see so desperately how my cunt swallowed his long, pretty fingers as they grazed my g-spot. He makes his fingers into a “come hither” motion and I start to squirm. He was hitting all the right spots at the same time with the flick of his tongue and the twist of his wrist. That familiar knot in my stomach emerges, growing larger every time he caresses the spongy spot deep inside me which releases the whiniest moan I’ve ever produced. 

“Oh?” he says as he detaches his lips from my pussy, “do you like it when I do that?” he aggressively pokes the spot again and another moan escapes my lips. “Oh, darlin’ you’re so close. Cum on my face for me, would ya?” his tongue attacks my clit again, swirling in circles and sucking until I can’t hold back anymore. With each moan I release, the faster he moves his fingers and tongue until I’m clenching so hard I fear that I’ll break his fingers. I hear him whimper from under my dress as he laps up the cream that came from my cunt. “Sooo good,” he moans and I shove his face deeper into me with the leg I had draped over his shoulder. 

“I…I’m gonna…” a deep moan escapes my lips, perhaps the most guttural noise I have ever made in my lifetime. His fingers work even faster as my eyes roll into the back of my head and I release. Sebastian continues to lap at me while I ride out my climax, moaning as he did so. I slide down the door, banging my knees on the hardwood as I land. He pulls his head out from underneath my dress, his t-shirt collar and chin soaked from my orgasm. He takes the two fingers he had inside me and sucks my juices off of them.

“You are the most divine thing I’ve ever tasted,” he says softly before placing a kiss on my lips, letting me taste myself. I deepen the kiss by biting his bottom lip and he lets out a low moan. I pull away and palm the bulge in his tight jeans. 

“Let me repay the favor,” I say as I unbutton them but he grabs my hand and pulls the both of us up.

“No,” he says, pinning me against the door and attaching his lips to my neck but his hoodie gets in the way. He tears off the hoodie and the cardigan I was wearing underneath. He stares in awe at the decolletage neckline of my dress, his hands tremble like he wants to touch but needs permission.

“Oh, Sebby,” I say as I undo the little bow in the middle of my neckline, letting my breasts spill out in front of him, “spell it out for me.” His mouth waters at the sight of  my pierced nipples. I had a feeling he’d like them. His thumb flicks one of them before gently squeezing. I squirm feeling my flesh collide with the jewelry inside it. He doesn’t say anything before moving his hands to the end of my dress and ripping the fabric over my head, leaving everything I have exposed for him. I pout and place my arm over both breasts, covering my nipples but leaving the soft flesh exposed. “No fair. I need you undressed now,” I say while pushing past him and slowly walking to my bedroom. I know he’s drinking up the sight of me when I walk away. Before I can reach my bed, I feel Sebastian’s bare cock pressed up against my ass. His arms wrap around my waist and slowly trail up to cup my tits, rolling my nipples between his fingers.

“I need you,” he whispers into my neck, placing hot sloppy kisses down to my shoulder. My skin prickles with goosebumps with every kiss he places down. I turn around and attach my own kisses to his neck, trailing down his chest to his stomach to his happy trail. His throbbing cock is leaking for me, begging for me to wipe its tears with my tongue. I hesitate though, getting a good look at it. Thick, veiny, long. Bigger than Alex’s. Bigger than any cock I ever had. How could a five foot nine emo boy have a dick this big? 

Pushing all my doubts away, I grip the base of his cock and prepare myself to consume him but his hand grips my hair and yanks my head back. I look up at him through my long eyelashes and he clicks his tongue at me. 

“What did I tell you? No. Get on the bed,” he growls and I obey him. Slowly backing myself onto my bed and in one swift motion, he flips me on my stomach and mounts me. I gasp as he pushes my lower back down and my hips up into a sharp arch. I secretly thanked all the older women he’s been with because I couldn’t imagine another guy our age being this skillful. “Fuck, your pussy is weaping for me.” He gently pushes his tip in and I moan, grabbing fistfulls of my bedsheets.

“Yoba almighty,” I groan and he pulls out. I whine in desperation for more but he comes close to my lips and kisses them.

“Does it hurt?” he asks with his big brown puppy dog eyes. I kissed him once more.

“I’ll get used to it. Please,” I beg, “just fuck me.” He mounts me again and slowly pushes his cock into my slit. I feel him stretch me out, letting out animalistic moans that came from the deepest parts of my stomach. “Don’t stop,” I pant as he keeps pushing inside me until I feel his tip bump into my g-spot. I relax, letting pleasure flow through me. He pulls out ever so slightly and lets his hips collide with mine, hitting my spot so perfectly. He hisses while I moan into my pillow.

“How can you be this wet and so fucking tight?” he asks while ramming his cock into me again. I gasp, feeling a knot in my stomach form and clench my thighs together. Sebastian gives my ass a harsh slap while tangling his fingers in my hair and giving it a good pull. “Fuuuck, don’t do that,” he groans, “every moment I’m inside you is another moment closer to my release.” I hoped to Yoba that his hand had left a mark. I bite my lip, push my hips into his, and he lets out a breathy whimper. 

“Then,” I start, loosening myself against his weakening grip, “maybe we should race to see who cums first?” I release from his grasp and flip him onto his back. I straddle his hips and stoke the length of his cock, my fingers barely wrapping around his girth. He grabs for my hips but I pin his wrists down on either side of his head. I’m stronger than I look, all the farm and mine work have paid off. He struggles underneath me but I give him a good fight and he eventually relaxes when I place a love bite on his neck. I straddle his cock and slowly sink down, moaning as his length fills me up. 

“Fuck,” he moans as my hips rock back and forth. “Do that again,” he hisses but with that remark, I go still.

“Is that how you ask nicely?” I ask while leaning forward and leaving a love bite on his collar bone. “Try again.”

“Please do that again,” he begs, while bucking his hips up. He gets a good thrust into me but I keep my composure. 

“Please what?”

“Please, Goddess. Please make me feel good,” he whimpers, bucking his hips once more. I place my hand on his chest and drag my nails down it, him moaning in response. I start rocking back and forth again, releasing his hands and leaning back, holding myself up on his shins. His hands grab my hips and help guide as I glide over his thick cock. I look down at him, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, a faint string of drool drops down from the corner of his mouth, and the sultry groans that pass his lips. An orgasmic sight. As I switch from rocking to bouncing, his cock finds my spot and tears well up in his eyes. 

“Feel good, sweet boy?” I moan and lean forward to caress his cheek, drying away the tears that slipped out. He grabs my hand and kisses it, bucking himself deeper into me. 

“Yes,” he whimpers, “fuck… I’m…” I feel his cock twitch inside me and his bucking becomes sloppier. He lets out a moan so deep from within I can only assume he’s painting the walls of my cunt with his cum. It pushes me over my edge and I release all over his cock. I collapse onto his chest, dick still inside, and listen to the pounding of his heartbeat. I feel one of his hands reach up and pet my sweaty hair. One of the braids had come undone and he ran his fingers through the loose strands. I feel him kiss the top of my head and I sit back up, letting his softening cock slip out of me. He looks up at me with tender eyes and a lazy smile while he entangles his fingers with mine. I wanted to capture the way he looked: blissed out, chest heaving, bruised lips. He looked so perfect. 

I hold onto his hips while I unmount him to get a towel but he grabs my wrist and pulls me on top of him. “Stay here. Please?” I couldn’t say no to those eyes. His pupils were blown out, I couldn’t tell where his dark amber irises started. I lay my head down on his collarbone and he wrapped his tattooed arms around me tight. I traced the hands he had tattooed on his forearm.

“Creation of Adam?” I ask with a hoarse voice. I feel him nod by the way his chin gently bumps into my head. He may be watching me play with his tattoos or maybe he knows his body well enough to know what tattoo I’m tracing. 

“Mmm. Easy guess, what’s this one?” he jerks his arm and I move so that I’m laying next to him. He’s referring to the one on his bicep which is Icarus falling out of the sky as his wax wings melt. 

“The fall of Icarus,” I say. He chuckles and turns on his side to look into my eyes. 

“Baby girl, knows her art.” His other hand brushes my bangs out of my eyes and I do the same for him. 

“I may have taken a couple of art history classes,” I say as a blush falls over my cheeks. Out of instinct, I turn to hide my face but he catches my jaw with a finger and pulls me back to face him. 

“Don’t do that,” he says, “you always hide your cute little blushed face from me. I like basking in it. It’s the only thing I know nobody else in the valley can make you do.” At this moment, I realize how covered in ink his body is. The birth of Venus rested on one of his thighs, Lucifer posed like in the Fallen Angel painting on his hip bone, a sick ass demon skeleton on his ribs, I was drooling at the sight. He reaches up to cup my breast, giving it a squeeze before tracing the dragon I have tattooed under it. His attention is then caught by the tattoo on the side of my hip. While he had the full wings and body of Lucifer, I just had his eyes and arm.

“What?” I ask as he traces over it with his thumb.

“I didn’t even realize we have similar tattoos,” he says. I nod.

“I thought you were looking at the ‘Divine’ tattoo,” I say, referring to the lettering in an “old English” font right where my uterus would sit. I had gotten it done on a drunken night with some man who happened to own a tattoo gun. It turned out pretty good so I never thought to get it covered. 

“Ha! S’cute,” he says while tracing it. His thumb pushes in gently and I let out a groan. “Divine indeed.” I lay out flat on my back and sigh, my post orgasm anxiety screaming in my brain. Does this change things between the two of you? You clearly have feelings for him but what if he’s just in it for the fuck? Don’t you have better things to do than fuck everyone in the village? First Alex, now Seb. Why don’t you just call up Shane or Willy since you’re fucking yourself through town?

My thoughts are ripped from me when Sebastian wraps his arm around me and buries his knee between my legs. He sighs and calls me by my name which catches me off guard. I don’t think he’s ever called me by my name. “I wanna do this again. But properly, ya know?” he mutters into my neck, peppering it with kisses. “Let me buy you flowers, dinner, take you for a ride on the bike,” he continued, leaving sloppy kisses on my body. He knew I was spiraling, I don’t know how but he did. Maybe he was feeling the exact same thing that I was. Maybe he just gets me.

GASP

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

Read it on ao3.

TW: drxg useage, alcohol consumption, kissing, light dirty talk

Fourteen. Six days. Six fucking days since I’ve kissed Sebastian. Well, a little more than kissing. We made out. A lot. But that’s as far as it went and when dawn started to creep over the mountain peak, we stopped and went back inside like nothing happened. We haven’t talked about it. Maybe it was just a spur of the moment thing. Maybe it doesn’t need to be talked about. We still hung out of course but it was like it had never happened. I’ve never felt this way about someone before, how do I bring it up without freaking him out? It would have to wait though as we were celebrating Abby’s twenty-second birthday today. The four of us were supposed to take another trip out to the city to celebrate but Caroline sprung a last minute birthday dinner on Abby so we’re going to hang out at Sebastian’s again and chill.

“If I have to hang out with my parents beforehand, then I just wanna relax,” I remember Abby saying. It was decently sunny out today with a light breeze so I was wearing a dark red sundress and a cream colored cardigan to cover my shoulders. I tied a cute little bow on the wicker basket that held a blackberry cobbler and a monster compendium. I planned on dropping it off at the Pierre’s because cobbler tastes best fresh out of the oven anyway. As I’m about to head into town, Abby bursts into the farm house.

“Hey, I was just about to go see you,” I say while tucking the basket behind my back.

“They are driving me insane!” Abby says as she sits down at my kitchen table, clearly talking about Pierre and Caroline. “I’m twenty-one! I finish school next year, I don’t understand why they insist on treating me like a child!” She buries her head in her arms and I slowly set the basket down on the table. She lifts her head up from the table ever so slightly and asks, “is this for me?”

“Happy twenty-first!” I exclaim while going into the fridge. I was gonna save this bottle of mead for later but Abby seems like she could use a drink now.

“Aw black berry cobbler! I knew something smelled good when I walked it. Oh!” She takes out the book and hugs it, “how did you know I’ve been looking for this?” she asked while smiling like a child on Feast of the Winter Star.

“I had a hunch,” I say as I set the mead down on the table and grab two wine glasses. I pour the mead half way into the glasses and we sip and talk until the sun starts to set. “Hey, Abby, what time was your birthday dinner supposed to be?” She looks up at me with droopy eyes.

“I think eight? No-seven… What time is it now?” she giggles and I lift up the empty bottle of mead. Oh shit. I glance at the time on my phone and it’s six o’clock.

“Fuck,” I stand up and take my phone off the table. I excuse myself into the bedroom and call Sam. In college, I could finish a bottle of wine or mead in a day with no issues. I should’ve taken into consideration that Abby, being freshly twenty-one, is probably a lightweight.

“Hello?” Sam answers.

“Hey so, we have a bit of a predicament,” I say.

“Predicament? What do you mean?”

“Well, you know how I was gonna bring over that bottle of mead for Abby’s birthday later?”

“…Yea.”

“I think you should just come over. Is Sebastian with you? Bring him.” I hang up before Sam can ask more questions. I go back into the kitchen and give Abby a glass of water. I also made her eat the now cold blackberry cobbler. Literally giving her anything that would soak up the alcohol in her stomach. Sebastian and Sam arrive a little later.

“Look, it's my friendssss!” Abby exclaimed. I give the two boys a weak smile and they shake their heads.

“You dumbass,” Sam says to me as he sits next to Abby, “you were supposed to save that bottle for all of us!”

“I know!” I say, “it’s just, she came over, and I figured it wouldn’t hurt to crack it open. I didn’t think we’d finish the bottle…” I sheepishly look down at the floor. Sebastian sits down next to Sam.

“Abby’s a lightweight, you didn’t know,” he says.

“Mom’s getting take outttt,” Abby says in a sing-song tone.

“I thought your mom was making dinner?” I ask her.

“Mom hates cooking. I don’t know why she made a big fuss over a birthday dinner,” she sighs. An idea came to mind and I start pulling out ingredients from the fridge.

“What are you doing, farmer?” Sam asks while patting Abigail’s back. Her head rests on his shoulder and she takes a swig of some water.

“If I make Pierre and Caroline dinner, maybe they won’t care if Abby doesn’t show up for dinner?” I suggested while pulling out tuna that I had filleted earlier as well as octopus tentacles I had also cut up.

“Gross, Farmer, you just keep that in your fridge?” Sam asks while holding his nose.

“Hey man, I caught an octopus. What else am I supposed to do with it?” I ask while dumping oil into a pot and sticking a thermometer in it. As the oil heats up, I throw the tuna into a different pan and start searing it.

“Didn’t realize you’re quite the cook, Farmer,” Sebastian says from behind me. I shrug and look over my shoulder.

“Who else was gonna cook for my sister? Seb, could you get Abby some more water?” I turn my attention back to chopping up cabbage then coating the octopus in flour. Sebastian places a hand on the small of my back while he moves around me to fill up Abby’s water from the sink. My skin tingles at his touch. The Taco was the easiest to make. Sear the tuna, spread the mayo on the tortilla, then add the cabbage and tuna. I take the basket off the table and add the tacos in there.

“You’ve gotten very cottage-core these last couple of months,” Sam says. I hear an affirming “mm” from Abby, signaling to me that she got her water.

“I guess so,” I say while dropping the flour coated octopus into the oil, “I grow my own produce, raise my own animals, and am essentially living off the land besides the occasional thing I’ll buy at Pierre’s.”

“You have two chickens and a duck,” Sebastian says, “is that raising your own animals?”

“I’ve had them since they were chicks!” I say while facing them and leaning my hip against the counter, “I’m also thinking about getting a rabbit.”

“Awwww so cute!” Abby says, sobering up a little bit. I checked the oil temperature one more time.

“Then I’ll be making my own clothes, how's that for cottage-core?” I laugh and scoop out the now fried octopus onto some paper towels and pat them dry.

“Well, what I was going to say before Seb started teasing you, is that you look happy,” Sam says as I assemble the basket, making everything look nice for Caroline and Pierre. Compared to when I first moved here, I am a lot happier. My only issue is getting my sister away from Dad. I had a feeling that he’s going to try and sink his claws into her though.

“I need you boys to take Abby back to Sebastian’s. I’m gonna drop these off and play dumb, sounds good?” The guys nod and Abby smiles into Sam’s shoulder.

“Thanks guys, I didn’t want to eat Gus’ spaghetti again.” They left and took the shortcut up the mountain while I made my way into town. If my calculations are correct, a nice gesture should make the couple forget about their, now drunk, daughter. I mean when I first met Pierre he couldn’t even remember how old Abby was. I enter their home above the shop and the two of them are sitting in front of the fireplace sipping tea.

“Hi Farmer,” Caroline says, “what brings you here?” I place the basket down beside them.

“I was fishing earlier and I made some calamari and fish tacos. Gus told me they were your favorites!” I say, giving them a simple smile and also hoping that they wouldn’t see right through me. Gus didn’t tell me directly about their favorite foods, I might have been eavesdropping at the saloon yesterday while talking to Shane.

“Oh this is wonderful! Now I don’t have to cook,” Caroline laughs.

“Speaking of,” says Pierre, “have you seen Abby?” I shrug.

“She might be at Sebastian’s. I was just on my way over there,” I say, batting my eyelashes, smiling and giggling, doing everything to make myself look as innocent as possible.

“Will you tell her that dinner’s canceled?” Caroline asks, “we’ll take her out another time. All that produce you’ve been selling to us has been making us money!”

“That’s wonderful! I do have to go though, they’re probably waiting for me,” I say and turn to leave, “I’ll see you soon!” They say goodbye and thank me for the dinner and as soon as I exit the store, I exhale. I thank Yoba all the way to Sebastian’s place. I’m greeted by Robin when I walk in through the front door.

“How’s that coop holding up? I think it’s some of my best work,” she says proudly. I agree and get to chatting with her. “You know, Sebby helps me with my work sometimes,” she says.

“I didn’t know,” I say, trying hard not to picture Sebastian swinging an axe over his head with his shirt off and his sweat glistening. I didn’t need another fantasy to push down like the one time I caught him working on his bike outside. Shirt off, skin covered in soot and oil, tattoos practically begging me to lick them. If I were smarter I would say that she’s doing this on purpose. As Robin goes to open her mouth to say something about Sebastian helping her with her carpentry, I feel a calloused hand on my wrist and a soft yank.

“No more stories, Mother!” Sebastian yells as he drags me down the stairs to his bedroom. I look back at Robin as her son drags me away and she giggles. She’s definitely doing it on purpose but not to tease me. I look down at Sebastian’s hand around my wrist. His slender fingers with the different black and silver rings on them, his manicure fresh with black nail polish with a glossy finish. I used my other hand to cover the blush creeping up onto my face. No way. No fucking way. I know we kissed and everything but what am I supposed to do with this information? When we enter his bedroom, Abby is laying down on Sebastian’s bed, curled in the fetal position, watching anime. Sam is sitting at the tea table with a can of beer in front of him, a joint between his two fingers, and a handful of cards.

“Are you watching the Ghost Stories dub?” I ask, referring to the anime.

“Huh? Oh yea! It’s a classic. Figured it would keep her entertained while she keeps sobering up,” Sebastian says and gestures over to Abby, glued to his tv.

“Well if you’re gonna stand behind me, stand closer I can’t feel it. And they wonder why I like black men!” the tv says and Abby bursts into a fit of giggles. I laugh at her giggles, knowing exactly what episode she’s on.

“Do you watch anime?” Sebastian asks as I sit down with them, he deals me a couple of cards.

“Just finished the last season of Demon Slayer. The movie is going to be so devastating,” I say as Sam hands me the joint.

“That’s Sebby’s favorite,” Sam says through a fit of coughs. I inhale and let the weed fill my lungs.

“Oh?” I sigh the weed out of my lungs. If there’s a way I could test my little theory, this would be it. “I used to cosplay as Kanroji.” I scroll through the photos on my phone as one of them coughs, like their choking. I hold the joint out for someone to take it as I keep scrolling and scrolling.

“That's- OW,” Sam says as I finally find the picture, I make eye contact with Sebastian as I show him the picture and his face turns a blush pink. But that could mean anything right? I mean the cosplay was pretty revealing…

“I used to have the best costumes for Spirits Eve,” I say with a sigh while taking my phone back.

“Wait wait,” Sam says while grabbing my phone, “where’s the snake guy?”

“Iguro?” Sebastian and I ask at the same time.

“Yea! I see a lot of people who dress like them together,” Sam says while giving me my phone back. I shrug.

“I’ve never had a boyfriend before.” The room falls silent and even Abby is paying attention to our conversation now. “Okay geez,” I say,

“I didn’t realize that was the equivalent of killing somebody.”

“Really? Like no heartbreak that caused you to hoe around?” Abby asks and I snap my heart around.

“Okay, rude! I didn’t need a reason to hoe around, I just liked sex okay?”

“No, no. Her trauma is what caused her to hoe around like that,” Sam says.

“When did this become a therapy session?” I ask while snatching the joint out of Sam’s hands.

“If I dated someone it meant I would have to bring them home to my dad. It’s not that deep, I just didn’t want someone to get that close to me,” I say while puffing the joint.

“Oh Farmer,” Sam says and opens his arms to hug me. I push his forehead back with my palm and continue to smoke the joint.

“It’s not a big deal!” I say, struggling to keep him back. Sebastian starts laughing, harder than I had ever heard him laugh before. He takes the joint out of my hand and smokes it.

“You,” he points at Abby, “sober the fuck up and watch tv. If you wanna drink with us again, figure out how to keep up without getting trashed.” Abby curls back up on Sebastian’s bed.

“Yea, Yea,” she mutters, knowing that he’s right.

“And tell the Farmer thank you for getting you out of that stupid family dinner,” he continues.

“Thank you, Farmer,” she says barely above a whisper.

“And Sam,” Sebastian continues, “if you want to play therapist then go to fucking college.” Sam opens his mouth to speak but decides against it and hands me an unlit joint instead. I thank him and light it.

“Farmer,” he says while putting out the old joint, “what are you going for Spirits eve this year?”

“All my old costumes are in the city and I’ve been so busy this year, I think I’m just gonna go as a devil,” I say, “what about you?” I ask him.

“If you’ll go as a devil, I’ll be an angel,” he says. I laugh at the thought of him in white and gold instead of his black and silver. He pouts and I try to calm myself down. “Damn, after all that defending I did for you,” he huffs and snatches the joint away from me again. “You’re cut off.”

#

Sam had left with Abby a few minutes ago. He had to get up early for work and we all agreed it looked better for her to come home late than to stay the night at Sebastian’s. Sam offered to walk me home too but Sebastian insisted that he would. I’ve come to the conclusion from his reaction to my cosplay, the little stories that Robin will tell me, from the hints that Sam gives him when they think I’m not looking. He definitely thinks I’m pretty. But I can’t understand why it’s so hard for my brain to comprehend that he might like me back. Because why would he? I have sexual experience but anything romantic I’m blind to. There were people who wanted something more from me besides sex but the thought of bringing them home to Dad made me sick and there have been people I’ve wanted more from than just sex from but I don’t think they saw me as dateable. I shiver as we walk the shortcut back to the farm.

“Cold?” Sebastian asks and before I can answer he pulls off his hoodie and gives it to me. I put it on while admiring the way his t-shirt sleeves hugged his shoulders and biceps. His hoodie was a little oversized on me and engulfed me in his scent. Cigarettes, wood shavings, oil, a bit of sweat, and some faint cologne. If they could bottle this up and sell it, I would lose all my money. We walk in silence for a bit but I decide that I have to know what that kiss was about.

“About the other day,” I start, “was that just spur of the moment or…” Sebastian laughs and digs his hands into his jean pockets.

“Oh Yoba, it definitely wasn’t spur of the moment for me. You know how hard I had to work up the courage to even touch you? Thanks for bringing it up though, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it,” he says.

“...You…You wanted to kiss me?” I blush but hope the darkness hides it.

“Of course I did! I’m thinking about attacking those pink plump lips right now. Obviously you’ve seen how I act around you, right?” He laughs again, “you really are dense, huh Farmer?”

“You gotta spell it out for me,” I say as we walk over the highway. I knew what he was saying but I wanted him to say it out loud. Lips, teeth, tongue, vocal chords, I need him to say it.

“I’ve been thinking about how sweet you might taste since the day I met you.” I wasn’t expecting that. In that moment, I felt the lust pour out of my body but it didn’t feel like I needed to fill something. It felt like I needed to have something.

“I said spell it out. That was the whole fucking alphabet,” I say while picking up my walking pace. Teasing him. That’s all I could think to do. If you truly want me, come get me. I could see him coming for me out of the corner of my eye so I picked up my pace but he grabbed me by my waist, fingers gripping into the fabric of my dress, and I felt my feet lift off the ground. In one swoop I’m suddenly sitting on his shoulder, his arm wrapped over my lap. He looks up at me with a soft smile and once I realize I’m fully off the ground and he’s not putting me down anytime soon, I wrap my arm around his neck. “W…What?”

“Sleeper build baby,” he says as we get onto my property, “all that wood chopping does a man wonders.” It’s like he knows my every thought, my every feeling, how the hell can he do that?

“Put me down,” I say, still in shock that he could lift me that easily, “if this is what it’s like to be tall, I don’t want it.”

“Please,” he says when we reach my house, “you weren’t telling that to Shane at the concert. Watching you on his shoulders, man, I was so jealous that his head got to be between those pretty thick thighs.” My breath gets caught in my throat when he says that and my thoughts race back to when I fed him lunch that same week.

“Pumpkin soup isn’t the only thing you were hungry for?” I ask as he squats and my feet reach the ground again. His arm doesn’t remove itself from my waist though. He’s walked me home but once I let him inside there’s no recovering from what's about to happen.

“I was starving,” he says, voice lowering. A shiver runs down my spine and a shock zaps between my legs. “But not for the soup. My sleep deprived ass just needed to see you.” I bit my bottom lip as his face moved closer to mine. I was confident being the domme, the one pursuing. I’ve never been on the receiving end of it though, is this what it’s like for someone to yearn for you? His slender fingers grasp the base of my chin and I look up into his deep brown eyes. Everything about him is screaming hunger, passion, need. My skin prickles as his grip on my jaw tightens. “The thought of being in your bed made me dizzy,” he says in a near growl. I extend my lips ever so slightly but he pulls his face away. His eyes roaming over my face and body, drinking up every bit of me. “Be honest,” he says while his other hand grips my waist, he doesn’t break eye contact, “did you touch yourself after I left? You were staring at me like a dog deprived of meat.” He licks his lips, revealing the ball of his tongue piercings. Yoba, he can read me like an oracle. “Like how you’re looking at me now?” I grab the hand that’s holding my waist and bring it up to my lips to kiss the pretty rings that rest gently around his fingers.

“You’re gonna have to show me if your fingers work better than mine.”

good night sweet sdv grandpa and his fucked up bed; and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest

this is black cat/orange cat behavior :D

Onions caramelizing on the stove, shane smut cooking on the computer. Life can be beautiful sometimes.

ERE DAY MY BESTIE POSTS IS A GOOD DAY!!!!

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

TW: consumption of drxgs, smoking, talk of sex

Read it on ao3

Thirteen.

I hadn’t been off my farm for a couple days. The only reason I would leave would be to buy seeds or go forage in the forest. I couldn’t get my mind off of my sister but we called everyday when she got out of school but the phone call would only last during her walk home, she’s afraid of what Dad might say if he knew she was talking to me. I’m collecting eggs from my chickens and ducks in my coop when the door swings open and startles me, making me drop one of the eggs.

“Shit!” I hissed and looked down at the broken and runny egg.

“Where the fuck have you been?” I hear Sam’s voice echo throughout the coop.

“Fucker, you made me drop an egg,” I say while picking up the shell. 

“Are you good, dude? You and Seb disappeared from the venue that night and I haven’t heard from you since!” Sam exclaimed while taking a rag off the wall of the coop and helping me clean up the broken egg. I guess I did owe him an explanation since he is my closest friend in the valley. I told him what happened as we made our way to the farm house. He didn’t say much, only listened. I told him how the last song on his set really hit home and it felt surreal when my sister showed up.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Sam says as we enter the farm house. I set the basket of eggs on the counter and shush him.

“I love the song, Sam,” I say, “and it’s comforting to know that there are other people in the valley that have felt what I feel… It just broke my heart to see that my sister is seeing our Dad for who he is. I hoped that he would be better for her.” I flop down on my couch in distraught and run my hands down my face. Sam, who’s still in my kitchen, stares at me for a while before turning quickly on his heel to my bedroom. I’m shocked by his sudden movements but am too exhausted and overwrought to get up. I hear him rifle through something in my bedroom and a couple minutes later he comes out with my backpack slung over one shoulder.

“Jesus christ this thing is heavy,” he says and sets it down on the kitchen table.

“What are you doing?” I ask while sitting up a little. 

“You’re coming to the sleepover,” he says, “you don’t have a choice. I’ve packed everything for you, except for your undies ‘cause I don’t wanna rifle through that drawer.” I laugh as he rambles and I get up from the couch. I take my backpack from him and empty some of the things in there like my coal, ore, and fiber. I grab a quick pair of panties from my dresser and stuff it into my backpack. 

“You better have not picked a whack ass outfit for tomorrow,” I say to Sam as I pet Miso goodbye and we walk out the door. We took the shortcut up the mountain to Sebastian’s house. “You do sleepovers at Seb’s pretty often?” I ask. 

“Yea since we were kids. Seb has the most privacy and space and Robin isn’t like mine or Abby’s moms, always checking in on us,” Sam says as we pass by the bus stop. 

“What do you do at the sleepovers?” I ask, looking down at my boots as we walk.

“Oh, Farmer, don’t tell me you’ve never had a sleepover before?” Sam asks and I look up at him and on his face is a shit-eating grin. Yoba, he sees right through me. I blush.

“Hey man, with a dead mom and a dad who hates you, you end up being the weird kid,” I say, “besides from my roommates in college, I’ve never had a sleepover.” Sam shakes his head from side to side. “My sister would get invited to a ton.”

“Well, we will sometimes play Solarian chronicles, watch movies, play video games, listen to music, we talk… As soon we all became adults we added weed and alcohol into the mix,” Sam says. 

“It sounds like fun,” I say, “do you all sleep in the same bed?” I ask. Sam shakes his head.

“Abby takes Seb’s bed and Seb and I sleep on his pull-out couch. But now you’re here, so you can take the bed with Abby.” The only other person, besides a one night stand, that I’ve ever shared a bed with was my sister and that was when we were little. I hoped and prayed that my nightmares wouldn’t be bad tonight. After the gig in the city, my nightmares became frequent again and I’ve started remembering bits and pieces. They’re not as clear as the one about the car accident but I know they’re about Brynne. I’ve been thinking about telehealthing my therapist but the more I think about it, I highly doubt Dad has kept me on his insurance and getting insurance as a self-employed person has been hard. I’ve been trying to have better coping mechanisms but in doing so I’ve relapsed on cigarettes. Alex and I chat once a week and my fill-the-void lust feelings have been low but my lungs were not happy with me. I would be embarrassed if I woke up the three of them at the sleepover because I couldn’t get my childish nightmares under control. 

We show up at the house in the woods and walk through the front door. We say hi to Robin as she finishes up some paperwork at her desk and tread downstairs to where Sebastian’s room is. Abby’s already down there, laying upside down on the couch while Sebastian works on his computer.

“Seb keeps saying one more line but then does like twenty more! Sam, pull him out of it!” Abby whines when she sees us. I look over at Sebastian and his eyes run across his computer screen over and over again. I sit down next to Abby and she moves her body to the side so that her legs rested on my lap and her head near the arm of the couch. “Hey girl, I haven’t seen you in forever! I need my fill of farmer gossip. Are you still hooking up with Alex?” she asks. Sebastian’s head snaps up and his candy colored eyes look into mine.

“What?”

“So that’s what gets you to look up from your computer?” Sam sighs and throws his backpack down.

“It’s been a couple months,” I say, “we decided we’re better as friends.” Sebastian exhales then goes back to his work.

“What the fuck!” Sam yells at him.

“You told me you used to fuck around in college?” Abby asks. I nod. Her questions are genuine and strictly girl talk and it’s what I love about Abby. There’s no ulterior motive, she just genuinely wants to have more girl friends and they’re hard to come around in the valley. “You know who else used to fuck around?” She holds her hand up near her face and points in Sebastian’s direction.

“I can hear you, you know,” Sebastian says and then gets up from his computer.

“Finally!” Sam exclaimed while digging in his backpack. “I brought an indica, sativa, and a hybrid. I also brought my extended pack for solarian and Mario Kart, and a couple frozen pizzas,” he says while taking each thing out of his bag. Sebastian gets off his computer and pulls down a sheet and sets it up on the wall opposite of his bed and sets up a projector.

We watched movies, played Solarian, talked, and smoked weed. The only time I stepped out was to accept a phone call from my sister. It was short and quick and I mentioned I was hanging out with friends. Her praise for me making new friends warmed my heart. As I was walking inside, Robin came pounding down the stairs from her room. She’s holding an old photo album.

“There you are!” she says, “I have to show you these photos of Sebby when he was a kid.” She shows me a photo of him with spaghetti on his head, him with a stuffed Jumino, him holding baby Maru, all the classic baby photos. My heart swells when I look at his chubby cheeks. I’ve never been one for kids but I always loved baby pictures of my friends. 

“He’s so adorable,” I say while pointing to a picture of him, Sam, and Abby when they were kids. The basement door opens and Sebastian comes upstairs.

“Absolutely not,” he says while grabbing my wrist. His movements are aggressive but his grip on me is surprisingly gentle. 

“Aw c’mon,” I say as he drags me down the stairs, “you were so cute.” He shakes his head back and forth. 

“What are you saying I’m not cute now?” he quips as he opens the door. Abby with her second-hand high is curled up on Sebastian’s bed watching the projector and Sam’s in the bathroom. I laugh to try and calm down my pounding heart and hide the blush from my face

“Hmm… You’re pretty cute,” I say, “but your chubby cheeks and ginger hair take the cake.” He nudges me in the shoulder and we sit back down with Abby who’s watching Three From Hell. Sam comes out of the bathroom and sits on the bed with us, Smushing me between Sebastian and Abby. Sebastian drapes his arm over my shoulder to get more comfortable and I hook one of my legs over Abby’s as Sam lights up another joint. 

###

I’m jolted awake by whatever dream I was having. My breathing is heavy and small beads of sweat coat my hairline on my forehead. Abby’s still crashed out next to me and I think I see Sam on the pullout bed still asleep. My hands shake as I rip the covers off of me and get up. I dug in my backpack for the pack of cigarettes I had bought at Joja. They were the most disgusting cigarettes I’v ever smoked but they’re the only thing around. Once I secure my pack and lighter and make my way towards the lake. The cold fall air sent a chill down my spine and I wrapped my hoodie around my body tighter. A tall silhouette stands near the lake as well and I can only assume it’s my formerly ginger friend. I stand next to him and light my cigarette. He jumps a bit but realizes it’s just me.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks. I take a long inhale and sigh out the smoke. 

“I assume you can’t either,” I say and take a seat at the edge of the water.

“Never can,” he says and follows my lead by sitting down next to me. We sit in silence for a moment and chain smoke before I break the silence.

“So… you used to sleep around?” He laughs and shakes his head.

“I was wondering the same thing about you,” he says, “Yea, I did. There were a couple of forums online I used to frequent when I was eighteen. Mainly married couples looking for someone to cuck the husbands. Some turned into affairs, others were strictly for fun… I stopped when I was twenty-three after having a really weird situationship with a married woman,” he takes a long drag of his cigarette, “Sam and Abby only know about the cucking. Not the affairs.”

“You lose your virginity to a married woman?” I ask teasingly. He shakes his head.

“Nah. Lost it to Haley when we were fourteen. We’re still friendly, she told me later on that I helped her come to terms with her being gay so I guess it was for the better,” he says, “don’t mention anything though, I’m not sure how out she is.” I wouldn’t have pegged Haley as gay but it made sense. 

“They used to call me the ‘man maker’ in college,” I say, “as I’m sure you’ve figured out I have a guilty pleasure for gridball players and by the time I was a sophomore I had gone through everyone on the team that liked women. I started hooking up with the freshmen and then they started sending their friends who were virgins to me. I didn’t know they were calling me that until I became friends with one of them.”

“Did you lose your virginity in college?”

“Nah, I was sixteen. I was too young, honestly. I should’ve waited,” I said. Sebastian nods his head. 

“I should’ve too.” We’re silent again for a second but this time he’s the one to break it. 

“So… You’ve hooked up with Alex?” he asked. I nod and light another cigarette. 

“Was filling the void. I think he was too.”

“And this was around that time you had the dream about the crash?” he asks me and tosses the filter aside.

“You remember that?”

“I remember everything.” He lays down and looks up at the stars. I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.

“Do you have trouble sleeping often?” I ask him. He sighs.

“Yea. Not sure why. I do stay up late for work, a lot of my clients are overseas so the deadlines are in the middle of the night…But ever since I was a kid I’ve never been a very good sleeper. I’m sure my mom has permanent bags under her eyes,” he says, “I assume your restlessness started after your mom passed?”

“Yes but it wasn’t just because of the nightmares. Dad took up drinking and would be up all night,” I say and lay back next to him. The stars were beautiful and clear, not like how they are in the city. The light pollution downs them out so much you can barely make out the big dipper. “Do you see any constellations?” I ask Sebastian. The only ones I could point out were the big and little dippers. I didn’t do much stargazing and I regret not asking Grandpa more about it. 

“Um, let's see,” Sebastian says. He looks around the sky and then eventually points. “That one’s Orion.” I scoot closer to him so I can properly see what he’s pointing at.

“The rectangle?” I ask.

“Yea! The three stars in the middle are his belt… Over there is Pisces.” He points a little further west from Orion. I squint and try to follow his finger.

“The alligator mouth?”

“Uh huh. It looks like two fish tied together, right?”

“I think I can see that,” I say and squint a little harder.

“It’s supposed to be her and her sons, Eros and Cupid,” says Sebastian. He puts his arm down. I shiver a bit as a gust of wind blows over us. As if he knew, he wraps his arm around me and pulls me into his chest. My heart starts slamming into my chest and I can’t control it. I know he can feel it, there’s no hiding it. I shiver again but not from the cold. “I’ve always been fascinated with Aphrodite. When I was hooking up with older women and getting into situationships and getting my heart shattered, I wondered if she was watching over me,” he continues. I want to look up at him but I can’t tear my eyes away from Pisces. I always thought that Aphrodite had abandoned me long ago. 

“But isn’t she the Goddess of love, not heartbreak?” I ask. He gives me a squeeze and my breath gets caught in my throat.

“As much as it hurt, I figured she had a plan. Accepting those thoughts helped me separate myself from that part of my life,” he says and moves onto his side to face me. I want to look at him but my body won’t let me. This is the moment I’ve thought about over and over and my body can’t bring itself to pull through. I feel Sebastain’s finger slip under my chin. “After all,” his finger pushes my chin up so that I’m looking at him. His dusky eyes are sparkling in the moonlight and it takes every brain cell I can muster to not get lost in them, “ending that part of myself has brought me here, hasn’t it?” I want to tell him that I know exactly what he means, how I’ve never felt more accepted and understood by a person until meeting him, but his finger and thumb hold my jaw and he gently squeezes my cheeks as our lips lock.

so high !

in which you and sebastian get high, hot, n heavy~

wanna get high with sebastian and just lazily make out. i’m talking sitting on his lap on a beat-up couch with some old cartoon playing on his shitty tv in the background while you grind slowwwly against his dick.

neither of you know what time it is or whatever the hell you were doing before—somehow you landed directly on his cock, his wandering hands gripping at your waist and pawing lazily at your tits.

he takes a deep hit before tilting his head back and slowly blowing out the smoke as you grind your hips harder against his dick, earning a drawn-out groan from his throat.

“fuckk, don’t do that..” he muttered, covering his face with his hands as he blindly gripped your hips, matching the roll of your body on top of him.

you giggle lazily, the high reaching your brain as all inhibitions fade away into bliss. “c’monn, kiss me already,” you tease, looping your arms around his neck as you slowly drag him back to reality. he barely opens his hooded eyes that were tinged with pink, evidence of his willingness to go along with whatever the fuck you wanted to do with him.

he pulls you in by the nape of your neck, groaning desperately into the kiss like the poor, touch-starved boy he is. your tongues hungrily lap at eachother as though the two of you have all the time in the universe to savor one another. his hands find his way to the plush of your ass, kneading greedily as he grinds your clothed cunt against his straining cock.

a pained noise escapes his throat. “fuckkk, doll. need t’ be deep inside your pussy right now…” he clumsily leaned in to bury his face into your chest as your tits bounced right in front of his eyes, like a filthy scene from one of his wet dreams.

fuck you, always being such a tease.

“sebbyyy,” you said, voice tinged with loopy disappointment. “we’re just buddiesss. like friends, y’know?”

“i don’t give a fuck what we are right now, ‘kay?” he muttered, lips finding their way to nip at your collarbone before traveling up the side of your neck. he panted with want against your ear, his delicious groans shooting straight to your core. “jus’ need your warm pussy ‘round my cock.”

“yeahh? you really think we should—“ your words were interrupted as his hips suddenly bucked up into yours. “seb!”

“so damn noisy…” he was thinking entirely with his rock-hard dick now, the weed clouding all other forms of judgment. low, filthy grunts escaped his throat as he continued to hump you like a starved man. “c’monn, doll. just this once?” he cooed in between thrusts. “don’t you wanna give in ‘n feel my cock filling you up real nice?”

you couldn’t help but mindlessly rut against him, feeling your cunt begin to soak through your panties. “mmhmmm… would feel real good..”

“yeah?” he panted into your ear, long fingers dipping in between your legs. “y’gonna let me make you feel real fuckin’ good?”

all you could do was nod eagerly as he rubbed his fingers enticingly against your soaked panties. “mmmn, yes…”

“yeah… yeah, i can do that, doll,” he murmured, a lazy smirk forming on his lips as he admired your brainless state through half-lidded eyes.

“just take another hit ‘n relax…”

good morning, dear

a sweet lil one-shot btw farmer and harvey where farmer Takes Care of him as the two of them wake up

MDNI!!!

read it on ao3 here!

When you woke up that Saturday morning next to your husband, you knew nothing would pull you from his side. 

Harvey. With his tousled, salt-and-pepper hair and his white boxers with red hearts all over. God, he made you feel things.

Gently, you touched his arm. His neck. His jaw. His lips.

When his eyelids fluttered open, his eyes darted toward you to ensure you were still by his side. He always felt a flash of disappointment when he woke up and you weren’t there to greet him. Today, he smiled and nuzzled into your touch.

“Hello, darling,” he whispered to you. You loved it when he called you that sweet nickname. It was soft, comfortable, and held a quiet elegance, just like him. 

You pressed a slow kiss to his lips and his hands came up to capture your face, holding you there.

Your kiss deepened and Harvey let out a low moan before moving one of his hands from your jaw down your back. You smiled into your kiss before moving to straddle him.

As soon as you settled into his lap, you recognized that familiar sensation of his erection rubbing against your thigh. Feeling frisky this morning, you took the opportunity to grind down onto him. He groaned again and thrust upwards.

“Farmer…,” he said, between pants, “I need you.”

Smiling into your kiss, you reach blindly for the hem of your shirt. When you find it, you sit up, and Harvey helps you pull it off.

Almost immediately, his lips latch onto your nipple. A shock rips through you, and you moan out his name. “Harvey!” you say, breathily. He hums a response, still suckling at your nipple.

You arch your back, giving him easier access to your chest. He sucks harder as if rewarding you for your good behavior.

You aren’t letting him have you that easy, though. You grind down on his crotch again and he removes his lips from your nipple. 

“Farmer!” he says, suddenly disoriented. You smile at him, innocently, knowing that this look tells him you want to play.

You watch the moment it dawns on him as his eyes darken slightly and his cheeks tinge pink. “You want a game, Farmer? You can have a game.”

He smirked and flipped you over. “Let’s play,” he says, his voice gravelly.

You giggled as he attacked your neck with mustachioed kisses. But the giggles stopped short when he became more aggressive in his technique, sucking and biting at your collarbone.

Your hands moved down his body to his boxers, sweetly caressing his drooling length making him moan into your poor, abused neck.

You pull briefly at the waistband of his boxers, indicating your need for more of him.

He huffed one last breath into your neck before adjusting your positions. He sat with his back against your headboard, his cock sprung free from his boxers. You knelt between his legs, your lips ready and waiting, your hands tied together behind your back with the tie he’d discarded on the floor last night before the two of you jumped into bed together.

“Can I, Doctor?” you said, with batted eyelashes.

With a grunt, he acquiesced, placing a hand on your head in a gesture of unspoken authority.

You spat on his length, preparing him for your mouth. With your lips wrapped around his cock, you began to bob your head up and down. Your teeth grazed his cock briefly, and you heard him whine in anticipation. 

Suddenly, you felt his hand push his length all the way down your throat. Gagging, you tried to swallow, knowing he loved this sensation. 

He moaned loudly, and you would’ve smirked if your mouth hadn’t been full. You were raised with manners. It’s rude to open your mouth while enjoying breakfast. 

You tugged at your makeshift restraints, wishing desperately to cradle and squeeze his balls and maybe even put a finger or two into his tight hole. 

You began to shift under his iron grip signalling your need to speak. He immediately removed his hand and began to pull his dick from your mouth. 

Regaining your breath, you signalled toward your restraints. He reached over you and untied you. 

“I’m sorry, Honey. Did I go too far?” he said with a concerned look.

“Not at all. I just need my hands, Dear.” 

His eyes widened and he blushed furiously. After all these years, he still wasn’t attuned to all of your tricks. 

“Do I have your permission, my love?” you asked innocently.

He blushed harder before nodding furiously.

With a smirk, you rolled your wrists and pulled him lower on the bed. After adjusting his legs, you spat on your hands and rubbed them together, warming them up. 

Harvey followed your actions attentively, hoping he might be able to figure out what you’d planned for him somehow.

Maybe he’d not had enough time today because he was completely in the dark as you began to suck on his balls and circled a finger around his hole.

You heard his breath quicken as you felt his balls tighten. 

Slowly, you pushed your finger into his fuckhole. He moaned loudly and gripped your hair with renewed intensity. 

“Fuck, Farmer! Please. Harder,” he whimpered.

Slowly, you inserted a second finger. As you resumed curling your fingers inside him, he let out a short cry. 

“Farmer… I’m close. Please. Let me come inside you, my love.”

Without another word, you removed your fingers and readjusted your position, straddling him once more. 

“Farmer…,” he said when the two of you made eye contact. 

You smiled and aligned yourself with his fat cock. 

After a brief kiss, you sank all the way down.

The two of you took a moment to adjust before he began thrusting up into you.

Inhaling slowly, you began bouncing up and down determined to bring your husband the pleasure he so deserved.

With his hands positioned on either side of your waist, he began guiding you. 

Your movements were quicker and more intense now. It was obvious that your dear husband was so very close.

With one final thrust, he let out a loud groan and came inside your tight little hole. 

You weren’t quite done, though, so after a brief moment, you resumed your movements chasing after his waves of pleasure toward your own.

The two of you shared a chaste kiss before he settled you next to him on the bed, kissing your forehead, and leaving the bed to get a washcloth to clean you up.

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

TW: alcohol consumption, daddy issues

read it on ao3

Twelve.

“What did you think of our set?” Sebastian asks me as we’re hanging at the bar. He’s nursing the same beer he had on stage. I’ve noticed that he’s not much of a drinker but will have one or two at the saloon on Friday nights. 

“That shit was so cool! I’m mad you guys wouldn’t let me sit in on band practice,” I say. Sebastian shrugs.

“Sam wanted the last song to be a surprise. He said he got inspiration from a conversation with you but didn’t know how to execute it without a little help. So Abby and I also threw our daddy issues into the mix,” he says.

“Your piano playing is amazing by the way,” I say as I sip on my coke back. I had just taken another Jameson shot. 

“Thanks!” Sebastian beams, “I’ve been playing since I was four. I kept up with it because it kept my hands busy. I picked up bass when Sam started to learn guitar and he said he wanted to start a band. I learned that stuff all on JoTube though.” His long fingers wrap around the neck of his beer bottle as he presses the opening to his lips to take a swig. Shivers run down my back. “Shane told me you had tears in your eyes during the last song,” Sebastian says. I feel my cheeks go hot and I look past him at Sam who was chatting with Penny on the other side of the bar.

“Yea well… daddy issues, what can I say?” I try to play it off but I have a feeling he sees right through me. Sebastian gives me a nudge on my shoulder.

“You deserve better.” I smile up at him and I see his face drop. “Farmer… is that…” I turned around and followed his gaze to the front of the bar where a girl was arguing with the bouncer.

“Brynne?” I whisper to myself and my legs start moving towards her. I have no idea what I’m going to say, what I’m going to do.

“Please,” she begs the bouncer, “the band from Stardew Valley is playing here, right? I just need to talk to my sister and I’ll leave, I swear. I know she’s here.” The bouncer shakes his head.

“The show is over. Nobody under twenty-one is allowed in.” I take a deep breath.

“Hey, I’m here. Let’s go outside,” I say and usher my sister out of the bar. When we’re outside I feel my eyes get glossy but I don’t dare let myself cry. “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked.

“You haven’t been answering your phone!” she exclaimed, “I heard a band from the valley was playing here and… I hoped you’d be here.” I sigh and run my hands down my face, not caring about my makeup anymore. 

“Brynne, go home. Dad’s probably worried sick,” I say.

“It’s about Dad,” she says, “I-I can’t be alone with him.” Tears start spilling out of her eyes and down her rosy cheeks. 

“What’s wrong? Is he hitting you?” I ask and grab her wrist. I shove her long sleeves up and check her arms for bruises. None, thank Yoba. 

“No. He’s… too much,” she sobs into her hand and I pull her into a hug. I pet the back of her head as she cries into my shoulder. She doesn’t have to say much for me to realize she was starting to get the same looks I did. The same distraught and ugliness in his eyes that are burned into my brain. The shortness in his words, the harsh click of his tongue. I know it all too well and it wasn’t fair that now I was out of the picture, he turned it onto his littlest and favorite daughter. I always thought that Brynne was Dad’s favorite because she looked more like Mom, acted like her too and I was the female version of a man he hated. It’s possible that when one ghost leaves, another comes to haunt. Brynne pulls away from me, her cheeks still stained with tears and her nose a little runny. “Can I please come live with you on the farm? I know we’ve had our differences in the past… I didn’t know you were protecting me this entire time.”

“Brynne… I can’t. You’re seventeen and in your last year of high school-”

“Eighteen.”

“Eighteen… You need to finish school, go to college,” I say.

“Please, Sissy,” she says, tugging at my heartstrings by using a nickname she hasn’t called me in ten years. I look back into the bar and see Sebastian, Sam, and Abby watching us. The tears I’m holding back finally spill.

“I want to. You know I do but you need to finish high school,” I say, “there’s not much of an education system in the valley. At least not for older kids.”

“I don’t know if I can make it another day in that apartment,” she says softly.

“Apartment? What happened to the townhouse?” I ask.

“Dad said that if you got to start over then we should too. I hate the apartment. Yea, it’s closer to school but it’s cramped. Dad sleeps on the couch, I can’t have friends over, I can’t escape him,” she sobs again. I take a deep breath and stop my own tears.

“Can you finish a semester early?” I ask, “I know you have good grades. You’d be leaving your friends but it’s the only thing I can think of.”

“F-finish this semester?” I nod. “I think I can do that.” I kiss her forehead as Sebastian comes out of the bar. 

“Hey, Farmer, did you have a tab open? We’re gonna leave soon,” he says. I shake my head.

“Nah, I’ve been paying in cash all night. I’m gonna take my sister back home, I’ll find a ride elsewhere,” I say. Sebastian shakes his head.

“I rode my motorcycle here. I can take you home,” he says, “you hail a cab and I’ll follow behind. Just text me the address.” He then walks back into the bar. Brynne gives me a toothy smile and nudges me with her elbow. Blush spreads across my cheeks and I mumble, “shut up”. Brynne tells me their new address and I text it to Sebastian. I quickly hail a cab and we’re off to my Dad’s new apartment. It felt weird being on a side of Zuzu I’ve never seen. I’m sure Alex would know exactly where we are. Besides Brynne wanting to go to school on the north side, why would Dad want to move out here? We pulled up in front of a dingy apartment complex, a sight that made my stomach churn. 

“Here?” I ask, “you and Dad live here?” Brynne nods and sniffles. 

“I miss our old house,” she says softly. Sebastian pulls up on his motorcycle and turns it off. I look up at the tall building and a wave of chills is sent up and down my spine.

“I can’t go in,” I say to Brynne, “I’m not ready.” She nods and embraces me.

“I understand. Thank you, Sissy. For everything.” We spend a few seconds lost in the hug before she pulls away and goes inside. I straddle the motorcycle seat behind Sebastian and wrap my arms around his torso and lean my head against his back.

“You okay?”

“I will be.”

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

TW: consumption of alcohol, light daddy issues

read it on ao3

Eleven.

Fall six. Year One. 

The chill breeze of the fall evening nipped at my cheeks and nose. I didn’t sleep much last night, haunted by why my sister is calling me and what she possibly could want. How did it come to a point where I’m afraid of my own little sister? I dress myself in a gray pleated jean skirt, old ripped fishnets that I can’t bring myself to throw away, and a simple white baby tee. I tie the outfit together with my black doc martens that I haven’t worn since college. They’re better than wearing the work boots I bought from Marlon. I make my way towards the bus stop, shuffling as I do. I didn’t realize how tired I was from lack of sleep and working on the farm most of the day. Many people are gathered at the bus stop: Sam, Abby, Penny, Emily, Maru, Elliott and Leah, Shane, and Jodi and Vincent. 

“Are you sure Vincent can come?” Jodi asks Sam with a nervous look on her face, “a metal show isn’t a place for a boy as young as him.”

“The venue is all ages, Mom,” Sam says, “Vincent sits in on band practice sometimes.”

“But you don’t use very nice words,” Jodi says and Sam rolls his eyes and squats down to Vincent’s level. 

“Vince, you know not to repeat the bad words we say, right?” Vincent nods his head.

“Mommy would be sad if I said bad words,” Vincent says.

“Very good and what else?”

“I can say bad words when I’m your age, Sammy,” he continues.

“I know you know a lot of the words to our songs but can you sing the bad words?” Sam asks.

“Not around Mommy,” Vincent says with a head shake. Sam looks up at Jodi with a weak smile, hoping to not get his ass beat. Jodi rolls her eyes.

“Fine. But if a single bad word comes out of your mouth young man, all three of us are going home,” Jodi says sternly. Both of her sons agree and that’s when Sam notices me.

“Hey Farmer! I think this is everyone, let's load up the bus.” Everyone trickles on. Pam, who’s the most sober I’ve ever seen, stops me before I get on. 

“You don’t look so good, kid,” she says. I shrug. 

“Didn’t sleep very well.” 

“Here,” she digs in her pocket and hands me a small energy drink, “drink this. It’ll keep you pumped up for the show.” She smiles at me and we all get on the bus. I sit down next to Sam, across from Jodi and Vincent. I chug the energy drink Pam gave me before realizing I didn’t see Sebastian anywhere.

“Where’s Seb?” I ask Sam. 

“Oh, he decided to take his motorcycle. Don’t ask why, I never know what’s going through his head,” Sam says with a laugh. I thought back to a conversation we had a couple weeks ago and he mentioned he liked to take his bike out at night and ride as far away as he can. It’s probably a good time for him to decompress, forget the constant demands of life for a second. 

“He must already be at the venue,” Maru says from behind us, “he left like an hour before we did.”

“Makes sense,” Sam says, “he likes to be punctual. And he said he would take care of talking with the owner and getting everything set up. Apparently this place is like half bar, half concert venue.”

“We’re going to the Julius, right?” I ask and Sam nods his head yes in response. “I love the Julius! The patio section is screened off but you can still hear the music in the bar. Sometimes I’d go in for a drink and listen to the music inside and if I was jammin’ out, I would buy a ticket and watch them. It was my favorite bar to go to in college,” I say. Plus it’s a Saturday night, people are going to end up filling out the patio. Sam has played me a couple samples of what they’ve been working on and many patrons of the Julius are alternative music fans. 

“Sick! Oh, here,” Sam says while handing me a piece of paper. “It’s the setlist. Those samples I played for you a few days ago, we also played for the manager of the bar. He thinks that his patrons will enjoy it so he gave us an extra time slot.”

“Holy shit,” I say while looking at the setlist, “there has to be like an hour's worth of songs here.” Sam beams at me with pride. The Julius is also a place where producers like to scout out new alternative music. If the band is lucky, someone might want to be in touch with them. We finally arrive at the venue where Sebastian is waiting for us. Abby, Sam, and Sebastian unload the bus while the rest of us trickle inside. I ask Jodi if she wants a drink but she’s ushered out to the patio with Vincent by a bouncer. No kids in the bar except to use the bathroom he had said to her. So I take a gamble on what she might like. She always has a glass of white wine with dinner and I figured a sauvignon blanc would do her some good. I order myself a shot of Jameson and an orange juice for Vincent. Down the bar I see Penny pleading with Pam.

“Please don’t drink too much,” I hear Penny say, “you have to drive us back home.”

“I’ll be fine,” Pam says with annoyance, “push comes to shove, you can drive it.” Penny sighs and marches out to the patio while Pam stays put at the bar. I called over to the nearest bartender and I’m pleasantly surprised when I realized it was Jean. Man, he’s been working here for like six years now?

“Well well well,” he says, “I hear you’re a farmer now. Is that why I don’t see my favorite regular anymore?”

“Sorry I didn’t mention. I kinda had to get the fuck outta here,” I say. He waves his hand.

“Yea, I get ya. What’s up though?”

“Do you see that lady at the end of the bar,” I ask.

“Yea, what about her?”

“She’s kinda my ride… actually a lot of people’s rides tonight. The band playing are some people from the valley so we’re out here to support them. Could you serve her n/a beer tonight and not tell her?” I ask. Jean laughs and pats me on the shoulder.

“Can I charge her for a real drink?”

“Do whatever. I need her blood alcohol level under the legal limit,” I chuckle. 

“Alright. Come back more often, would ya?” he says and we say goodbye to each other. I took the drinks over to Jodi while Vincent checked out the front of the stage, watching his brother and his bandmates set up.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Jodi says as I hand her the wine. I take my shot as she takes her first sip of wine. “I’m a little anxious,” she says.

“What for?” I ask before my tongue goes a little numb from the alcohol. 

“He’s… just not my little boy anymore.” She watches him carefully on stage while he helps Abby put her drum kit together and tune his guitar.

“But wouldn’t you say he’s grown into such a great young man?” I asked her as I also watched Sam on stage, testing the microphones and making sure you could hear Sebastian’s bass. Jodi chuckles a little bit and takes another sip of her wine.

“You sound just like your grandfather.” Jodi and I chat while we watch the band finish setting up. I was itching to hear what they had, especially the one song Sam and Sebastian kept teasing me with. 

“It’s going to blow your mind. Strike you to the core. It took me weeks to get through playing it without tearing up.”

The only metal song I’ve cried to is Fade To Black by Metallica so what could Sam have written that he thinks will give me a core striking experience? I go inside to get one more shot before the band comes on stage. I’m expecting an introduction from Sam but they go right into the music. Sebastian, with his bass strapped on his back, presses a button on one of his keyboards which resembles a faint ringing sound before Abby clashes her symbols and Sam comes in with a heavy guitar riff. Sebastian then slides the bass to his font and comes in with a deep bassline. I search in my pocket for the setlist Sam gave me earlier and find the name of the first song. Artificial Suicide. Sam shocks me with such heavy vocals I nearly drop my shot. I sling the Jameson down my throat as Sam switches up with clean and angelic vocals. I nearly choke. I’m so impressed by the raw talent they all ooze I barely notice anybody moving. Emily is swaying her hips as she stands at the front of the stage but nobody else is moving. I move away from Jodi and Vincent and make my way closer to the stage as the song ends. More people fill in from the bar after that outburst of a song. I find Leah and Elliott with their eyes wide, shell shocked after hearing the first song. Before I can ask them what they thought, the band goes straight into another heavy song. Hypermania is the name I remember reading under the opening song. The three of us watch Sam bounce around the stage before I finally decide that the crowd is too still. I grab Leah and Elliott’s hands and force them to dance with me. I had just enough liquor in my body to loosen me up. Leah, Elliott and I had some conversations at the saloon but not many so I didn’t know them all too well but Jameson absorbing into my liver didn’t care. 

I made Elliott take down his hair and head bang with me as he had the perfect hair for head banging. Thick and wavy and long. I looked around the crowd once more and pouted. It definitely wasn’t thick enough to crowd surf and Yoba I was itching to. My attention is turned back to the stage as Abby and Sam pause for a second and the sound of Sebastian’s bass fills the patio. I watch his long fingers glide across the neck of the bass while his other hand licks the strings near the pickguard. As I stay stunned from Sebastian’s mesmerizing fingers, Elliott and Leah start to dance with each other and I leave them be. I go deeper into the crowd and find Shane in the middle. He’s nodding his head to Abby’s beat. The song ends and Shane looks down at me.

“These guys are pretty good,” he says. I nod my head. 

“You a metalhead?” I ask.

“I indulge.” I give him a shit eating grin and for a second I swear I see a glint of fear in his eyes.

“Should we open up the pit?” Before he can answer, Sam speaks.

“We’re Goblin Destroyer! This next song is about screaming into the fucking void!” and immediately they start the next song. I don’t even hesitate to give Shane a hard shove and he almost loses his balance. He bumps into the person standing next to him who shoves him back to me. As soon as it started people started to fill into the pit, shoving each other and creating a circle. I play in the pit until the song ends. Sebastian throws his bass over his shoulder and takes place behind the keyboards. He starts playing the same three notes over and over and then presses a button which makes it loop. All I want to do is watch him, see what he does differently for each song, especially this one as it seemed a little different than what we had just heard. Unfortunately, the crowd filled in a little tighter and I got stuck behind a really tall man. As I do my best to see around the man, Shane taps me on the shoulder and gives me the universal ‘do you wanna get on my shoulders?’ concert hand gesture. I gladly accept and Shane squats down. I straddle his neck and hold onto the tall man in front of me for support while he stands up and lifts me over everyone’s heads. Now, if I was drunk, this would be the time that I would flash the band my tits but I did not have enough liquor in my system nor would I do my friends like that. Sam comes in with the lyrics but he isn’t screaming. His vocals are clean but the extra microphone he had grabbed from Sebastian earlier must’ve had something to distort and reverb his voice. I needed to ask them how they did that because it sounded so good. 

After that song, Shane puts me down, the crowd starts to get bigger and they start hollering for more. Sam takes a swig of his miller lite and the band recuperates for a second. I feel a tug on my skirt and I look down and find Vincent.

“Hey bud,” I say, “where’s your mom?” Vincent points to the entrance of the bar.

“She went to get another drink. I can’t see Sam,” he says with a pout. He probably saw me on Shane’s shoulders earlier. However, I’m not as tall as Shane so I grab Vincent’s hand and lead him closer to the stage. I shot Jodi a quick text telling her that her son is with me and hoped that she would be able to see him on my shoulders from the back. We found a spot decently close to the stage and I got him on my shoulders. Surprisingly, he wasn’t that heavy. He’s a pretty skinny kid and will probably grow up to have a similar physique to Sam. He couldn’t have been more than fifty pounds, all that work on the farm must be paying off. Sam gives the autotuned mic back to Sebastian and walks back to his own mic stand.

“This is an old one.” And they go back into the heavy stuff. As Sam is performing, he sees Vincent on my shoulders, points to him and makes his hand into devil horns. Vincent removes one of his hands from resting on my head and I can only assume he imitated Sam’s devil horns. I kept Vincent on my shoulders for another song before returning him back to Jodi. Her face was a blush pink most likely from her wine. 

“Thank you, Farmer,” she says, “did you have fun Vinny?” she asks her son. He goes on about how cool it was to see Sam up close and I excuse myself back to the crowd. A couple songs go by and all I’m fixated on is watching Sebastian go from bass to keyboard to bass again and sometimes doing both at the same time. Each song better than the last. I hoped and prayed there was a scout in the audience listening to their talent. If they lived in the city they definitely would’ve been already signed to a record label, album out, and touring by now. At least in my music connoisseur opinion. 

I ended up in the middle again with Shane who was sweating profusely after being in the pit for most of the show. I think I caught him off guard when we started the pit but once it was open he was in there like a fly on shit. 

“Alright guys,” Sam says breathlessly into the mic, “we’re gonna switch it up a bit. This is our newest song as well as our last of the night. And to be straight forward this song is not metal. Goblin Destroyer as a band likes to experiment and write what’s on our minds. This is called ‘Like Him’.” Sebastian fully takes his bass off and starts playing the keyboard. The notes are clean and he plays the same three over and over until he ends with a little chord and Sam comes in with vocals as light as a feather. Sebastian plays a mix of jazz and classical chords as Sam gets through the first verse. Like him. Like him. Like him. Sebastian slides his hands down the piano keys, creating a glissando, and starts putting more passion into the keys. Mama, I’m chasing a ghost. I don’t know who he is. Abby adds a light harmony as Sam sings and the further into the song we go, Sebastian starts hammering the piano keys and Abby comes in with her drums. As the chorus fades out, Sam slips into a guitar solo but it doesn't sound like your regular guitar. It was almost like he was playing the theremin but on the guitar. It was slow but smooth and attention grabbing. 

I couldn’t take my eyes off of them even for a moment. As Sam gets into the second verse, I start to really feel the lyrics. How can I miss something that I never had? I thought about my Dad. I can’t remember what he was like to me before Mom died. I can’t recall a look of pride or love for me. A scowl is plastered permanently on his face in my memories. Everytime he looked at me all I was met with eyes filled with disgust and distraught. I always prided myself on being able to read people well but I could never get a decent read on my father. I never knew what he was thinking or what was about to come out of his mouth. Yet, I missed him. I yearned for the father that he might’ve been when Mom was around. He couldn’t have always been so bitter towards me, right? At one point when I was in high school, he told me he couldn’t stand the sight of me. Is it because I look like him? Like Grandpa? Everytime he looked at me, was he reminded of his own father? What did Grandpa do to make my father hate the sight of his first born daughter? I couldn’t judge him as I also ended up being better off without a dad. I wonder if he thought about how history repeated itself or maybe he didn’t think about me at all. But everytime. Everytime I asked him what Grandpa did to make him so bitter, all my questions were swept under the rug. Mama I’m chasing a ghost. I don’t know who he is. 

As the second chorus ends, a swift movement catches my eye. Sebastian had turned to his other keyboard- the one that plays more electronic notes. He tilts his head to the side, like he’s cracking a bone in his neck then immediately lays down a beautiful set of notes just as Abby and Sam harmonize. The crowd around me starts to thin until we’re left with the people from the valley and a couple of stragglers. I look up at my three friends in awe as they finish the song in an explosion. 

“We’re Goblin Slayer! Thank you!” Sam yells then he, Sebastian, and Abby group hug. I smile and watch them and the rest of the villagers trickle into the bar. 

“Farmer?” I snap my attention to my left where Shane’s standing next to me. “You okay?” I knit my eyebrows together as he takes the knuckle of his finger and gently wipes under my eye. Oh shit. Have I been crying?

“Huh? Oh yea, I’m alright,” I say as I gently pat the tears away, careful not to ruin my makeup, “I guess that last song hit a little close to home.” I force a smile and suggest we go in for another drink. As we do, we walk past Jodi and Vincent. Vincent looked a little embarrassed as his mom stumbled a little bit. She was definitely wine drunk. Shane and I give each other a look and head over there. Shane and I were developing an unlikely friendship ever since that night in the saloon. He’s been giving me tips on my newly acquired chickens and ducks and lately he’s been telling me to raise rabbits as well. 

“Jodi, you alright, hun?” I ask her as I take Vincent’s hand.

“Farmer! Did you see my boy? Did you see Sam? He’s a rockstar!” she says while swaying. Vincent yawns and his eyes look droopy. Shane links his arm with Jodi’s and we make our way towards the bus. Hopefully they’ll both sleep a little before we fully pack up and go. We set them down in their own seats and Vincent passes out quickly. Pam was already in the driver's seat, doing crosswords.

“Pam, do you mind watching those two?” I ask before I step off the bus.

“Of course! I’m the most sober I’ve ever been. I had seven beers and I don’t feel a thing,” she says. I give her a fake smile.

“Well, if it ends up hittin’ ya. I can always drive back,” I say and Shane and I exit the bus. 

“Saw them givin’ her the n/a beer,” Shane whisper to me.

“I told them too,” I whisper back and we share a laugh as we walk back into the bar.

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

TW: Smoking, mastxrbation

read it on ao3

Ten.

Fall two. Year One. 

“So, how are you going to get to the city if the bus is broken down?” I ask Sam as I walk him to work. I had been working on the community center for the past couple of months, befriending the Juminos, but I was mainly focused on the foraging and crops bundles they were asking for. 

“Well, I’ve been saving all my paychecks from Joja since we decided we wanted to do a gig. Seb makes more money than Abby and I combined but he works himself to the bone. He’s been our main funder, honestly. We’re gonna try and rent a van to haul our stuff and maybe take some people with us, depending on how big it is. Seb’s gonna take his motorcycle to save room,” Sam says as we cross the river. 

“That’s a lot of money,” I say. Sam shrugs.

“The venue is gonna pay us about half of what the van and gas will cost. It’s better than nothing.” We reached the front of Joja mart. Shane, who had been walking in front of us, enters. 

“You’re not even turning a profit!” Sam shrugs again.

“I’m just happy I get to play music. It’s gonna be fun either way!” Sam bids me goodbye and walks into work. I couldn’t just stand around and let Sam drain all of his savings for one ridiculously expensive van that probably doesn’t even fit six people. I decided to head up to the community center, I know there’s a way I could help. I enter the old rickety building, the Juminos see me and run away and disappear. I always thought they were fictional. Fairy tales my Grandpa used to tell me at bedtime. Sometimes I think I must’ve cracked my back wrong and released the acid leftover in my spinal fluid from college. But each time I finish a bundle, the more real everything feels. 

I head over to the safe and look through the bundle. I had been avoiding this bundle because it requires giving money. I’ve turned a great profit since moving here but the thought of giving twenty-five thousand gold away just hurt my soul. I took a deep breath. I have about fifty thousand gold and it should be enough, right? I count out my gold and place it in the bundle. Twenty-five hundred. A green Jumino tugs on my shirt and hands me a gift. Inside were three chocolate cakes. Five thousand. It gives me another gift. Thirty quality fertilizer. Ten thousand. A lightning rod. Twenty-five thousand. A crystalarium. Once the bundle is complete, I take a look at what’s left of my money and cringe. I better go forage and pray that I’ll make a little bit of money back. 

###

Fall three. Year one. I’m done with my farm chores and as I walk off my property towards town to check on the community center, I see a crowd around the bus stop. I didn’t think the Juminos would work that fast. 

“It’s a miracle!” Mayor Lewis says. I stand next to Pam who isn’t up close to the bus like the rest of them are. 

“Yoba has come through,” she says. I look at her face, tears are welled up in her eyes but she doesn’t let them spill. I had forgotten that she used to drive the bus. Giving the Juminos what they wanted gave Pam her job back. I feel a pat on my shoulder and see that it’s Sam. 

“Can you believe it?” he asks, “how do you think the bus got fixed?”

“Juminos,” I say. He laughs.

“And now you’ll tell me you believe in the Easter Bunny,” he says. Vincent, who’s standing in front of him, turns around.

“The Easter Bunny isn’t real?” he gasps. 

“No, no. That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Sam says in a panic and leaves me to do damage control. 

“What’s going on here?” asks Sebastian as he walks up from the direction of town.

“Bus is fixed,” I say. He looks puzzled. 

“How?” I shrug. He stretches his arms above his head and yawns. His hoodie lifts up, revealing his lean tummy and happy trail. Sexy thoughts fill my head but I push them deep down. “Guess I stayed up all night finishing a project for nothing,” he says.

“Yea, you look like shit,” I say and he pushes my hat over my eyes, “c’mon,” I say and drag him back to my farm. I’ve had my fair share of all nighters whether it be from school, nightmares, or just plain ol’ insomnia. I take him into my farm house and force him down at my kitchen table. I give him a cup of coffee.

“Thank you,” he says in a raspy voice. I ruffled his hair, knowing he wouldn’t care since it wasn’t styled. I go in the fridge and take out the leftover pumpkin soup I made last night. I throw it on the stove and wait for it to heat up. 

“What are you giving me?” he asks as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Your mom gave me her pumpkin soup recipe. I bought a pumpkin from the traveling cart yesterday to try it out while I wait for my pumpkins to grow,” I say. His eyes light up.

“Moms pumpkin soup? I’ve been eating that my whole life… I dunno if yours can compare,” he said with a joking tone. But the way his eyes looked when I mentioned it, it seemed like he regressed into a little boy at that moment. 

“Well, you’ll have to taste it and tell me if I can live up to her,” I say. Sebastian chuckles as I go back to the stove. I stir it a couple of times and wait for small bubbles to form before taking it off the heat and transferring it into a bowl. I set the soup down and sat down across from him. His stomach growls as he gazes into the soup. He inhales deeply. 

“This smells so good.” Another stomach growl.

“When was the last time you ate?” I asked him. He takes a bite of the soup and his eyes widen.

“No fucking way you made this,” he says as he takes another bite. I knit my eyebrows together. 

“I did. Last night. You callin’ me a liar?”

“I ain’t callin’ you a truther,” he snaps back, “no, I’m not calling you a liar. This tastes just like how my grandmother used to make it.”

“I didn’t realize this was a family recipe,” I said.

“Nobody has been able to make it taste like Grandma’s since she passed. What did you put in it?” he asked. I shrug.

“I followed the recipe to a T… I did add a little more garlic though just because I like it,” I said. He devours the soup like a starved wild animal. I watch him lick his lips, wipe excess soup off his chin. If the man could eat like that, my mind couldn’t help but wonder. Does he eat pussy like that too?

“To answer your previous question,” he says when he’s finished, “almost twenty-four hours.” I shake my head and take his dishes from him. My back is turned to him as I was the dishes in the sink.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” I say.

“I don’t know where I’d be without you,” he says. I turn around and catch his eyes wandering up my body. Was he just checking out my ass? I clench my jaw and lean against the counter. He couldn’t have been. We’re too close, too friendly. “Probably in a ditch somewhere,” he finishes his sentence. I bit my bottom lip and the cool fall air suddenly turned hot.

“Bum me a cig?” I ask while charging out of the house. The outdoor atmosphere cools down my hot cheeks.

“Thought you were quitting?” Sebastian asks from behind me. He pulls out his pack and takes out a cig, pressing it between my lips and lighting it. Why, why did I ask for a cig when I know him placing it between my lips drives me crazy? Am I trying to ruin this? He slings his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way as he lights his own cigarette.

“...it’s been extra hard lately,” I say, “my sister has been calling me. But I’m too afraid to pick up the phone.” I take a long drag and hold it in my lungs. Punishing myself in a way for being too afraid of my baby sister. Afraid of what she’ll say, afraid that she’s sunk herself deeper into Dad.

“It’s okay to not be ready,” Sebastian says softly, “you don’t have to force yourself.” I feel his bicep on the back of my neck, soft but muscular. I wondered how he stayed so fit without doing much. I wrapped my sweater around myself tightly and leaned into him.

“Thank you, Seb.”

“No, thank you.” He yawns and we both finish out cigarettes. 

“You should get some sleep,” I say, “you’re more than welcome to take a nap in my bed while I work.” The bags under his eyes seemed to deepen every minute he stayed awake. I feared he would pass out on his walk home. 

“I- ahem…” he voice cracks a little, “I’ll take the shortcut home. If I fall asleep in your bed I can’t promise I’ll wake up,” he laughs. We bid each other farewell and as I watched him walk away, something burned inside me. A familiar feeling that occasionally creeps up now and then. And I planned on being productive today… Once he’s out of my sight, I rush back inside. I grab a towel from the bathroom and hastily make my way toward the bedroom. I dig in my bedside drawer for my favorite toy. I’m greeted with the familiar pink silicone and I smirk to myself. Just this once. To get it out of my system. I lay my towel down and sit on top of it, keeping my legs spread as I do so. I put on some music to put me in the mood. In My Feelings by Lana Del Rey always puts me in the mood. I take my pants off but keep my panties looped around one of my ankles. I turn on the toy and gently press it to my clit. I gasp as the cool silicone comforts my aching clit. Thoughts of Sebastian filled my head and the pleasure intensified. I thought about how close we were today and how if I had just looked up and connected his lips with mine, things would be different. I twitch underneath my own pleasure, picturing Sebastian between my thighs, lapping up my cream like he lapped up that pumpkin soup. I push into my lower abdomen lightly, intensifying my good feelings, and I let out a soft moan. I pictured him digging his nails into my thighs as he ate like a hungry dog, smothering my clit with his saliva, and releasing whimpering panty breaths into my pussy. But the intensity I had worked so hard to build up inside me vanishes. I sigh and lay in my bed, catching my breath. I was never good at finishing the fantasy, I needed the real thing. I shove my vibrator back into my drawer and stand up. As I went to grab the dry towel that rested beneath me, I noticed a small wet spot, and a smirk crawled across my lips. Fantasizing about Sebastian did something to me as this wet spot proved to be a somewhat successful playtime. I clean up, put my clothes back on, and finally head into town for what I originally needed: bok choy seeds.

anxiety sux cuz why am i literally SHAKING at the thought of being late to my MINIMUM WAGE JOB that is a 45 minute bus ride away

I HAVE A CRUSH ON A BOY IN MY CLASS AND HES LIKE A YOUNG HARVEY I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE OH GOD ITS THE FIRST FUCKING DAY