Latest Posts by distractedhobbyists - Page 2

guys why is this shitpost my most popular post on tumblr HELPPPP

i want to *** ** *** **** until i *** *** **** *** ****** and he ***** me **** and ***** me *** he **** ****** me and ******* *** *** ******* ****** ** and ************* me :)

A softer moment for my favorite crusty neighbor (and an excuse to draw jellies!)

WHY CAN THEY REDECORATE MY HOUSE AND I CANT REDECORATE SHANE’S DISASTER OF A SPOUSE ROOM???!!/&:8;7):!

spouses/roommates being able to redecorate the house in stardew valley is a cute feature in concept but in reality it feels like

Nobody’s Son, Nobody’s Daughter

Nine.

TW: smoking

Dear Farmer, 

Tonight at around ten o’clock PM, a rare and beautiful event will take place. The moonlight jellies will be passing by Pelican Town on their long journey south for the winter. We’re all gathering at the beach to watch. You don’t want to miss this! 

See you tonight,

Demetrius. 

My parents would always pick me up from Grandpa’s before the dance of the moonlight jellies. When Mom was around, Grandpa would plead with her for me to stay another night and that he would take me to the city. It was Dad’s rule though. He didn’t pick me up or drop me off and Grandpa wasn’t allowed to come to our home. Looking back, Mom probably wanted me to stay but knowing Dad, it wasn’t going to happen. I’ve begged Dad to tell me why his relationship with Grandpa was so strained but he never went into much detail. “He was hard on me. Just leave it at that.” I would beg Grandpa for answers too. “That’s something for your father to tell you, when he feels ready.” I haven’t spoken to Dad at all since I moved to the valley. I wonder if he feels deja vu.

I’m making poppy seed muffins as my summer flower garden has been more than bountiful this year. I figured a little late night snack would do the town good and maybe improve my friendliness with some of the villagers I haven’t gotten to know that well. I’ve learned that I can’t be cold and off putting like I was in the city. If I want to live a good life here, I have to be like Grandpa. 

“Smells good in here, Farmer,” I recognized Sam’s voice immediately. I’m making a honey glaze for the muffins that are baking in the oven. I look over my shoulder and catch a glimpse of the trio of people I’ve been able to call my closest friends. 

“What have I told you about breaking into my house?” I ask Sam with a chuckle. 

“‘Ts not breaking in if the doors are unlocked,” he says. I shove my mixing bowl into Sam’s hands.

“Keep mixing. I have something for you guys,” I say as I go into the other room. I hear the faint sounds of the wooden spoon scraping against the metal bowl. Sam never fought me on things, I feel like he trusts me or whatever he doesn’t understand, he knows I have a good reason for it. 

“Are you making these for tonight?” Abby asks me from the other room. I find the chest I keep at the end of my bed and pull out three crystals. 

“Yea, I had some freetime. I gotta get people to like me somehow, right?” I say as I reenter the kitchen. I take the bowl from Sam’s hands and set it down. “Alright, close your eyes and hold out your hands.” The three do as they’re told. 

“It better not be a bug,” Abby says.

“I hope it’s a bug!” says Sam. I place a crystal in each of their hands. Amethyst for Abby, Frozen tear for Sebastian, and Tiger’s eye for Sam. My trips to the mines had been successful and I had made my way down to the eightieth floor. It was hard work but I didn’t have much to do besides farm work and fixing up the old community center. The community center was going to take me a while so I figured I might as well slay some monsters and make a profit from the gems I find. 

“Open your eyes.” They do and their faces light up when they see the gems. 

“How did you know I love this?” they all ask. I shrug.

“They just seemed like your vibe,” I said. That was a lie. While foraging, cutting down trees, and just being in the valley I stumbled upon some notes. One was a page from Abby’s diary as I had recognized her handwriting. She mentioned she liked keeping amethyst under her pillow. Another was Sam’s shopping list, I also recognized his chicken scratch. He mentioned that Sebatian liked sashimi and frozen tears. I didn’t know what that was until I stumbled upon it in the mines. I remember Grandpa collecting around one hundred of them one summer and then giving it to Robin. He mentioned she wanted to make a chandelier. Sam was a little trickier though. I was having tea with Jodi one afternoon and she was telling me stories about my Grandpa and how kind he was to Sam. Even after I would leave when the summer was done, Grandpa would still watch Sam when Jodi needed it. One day Sam came home with a large yellow and brown crystal and was so overjoyed about it. He still has the tiger's eye Grandpa gave him all those years ago. 

Abby wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes me. “Thank you thank you thank you thank you!” she says. The boys also nod and thank me. 

“Well, thank you guys for caring about me,” I say, “you’ve made my adjustment to the valley a lot easier.” My nightmares aren’t as frequent, I’m smoking less even though I do miss when Sebastian would brush my lips with his fingers every time he gave me one, and I just feel better overall. 

“Are you going to the dance of the moonlight jellies tonight?” Sebastian asks, “it’s the one festival I actually enjoy.”

“I think I will,” I say.

“Finally! You never got to seem them when we were kids, I remember being sad for you,” Sam says. My kitchen timer goes off. The muffins are ready. I pull them out and carefully dress them with the glaze. Abby goes to grab one but I slap her hand away.

“You’ll get one tonight,” I say and she pouts. 

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Sam says while digging in his pockets. He pulls out a crumpled flyer and hands it to me. “We’ve got a gig next Saturday in the city. Some old songs, some new songs. You should come.”

GOBLIN DESTROYER

Julius Ballroom Patio

Fall 6

6PM

“I can’t wait to go,” I say and place the flyer on my fridge. “I’m glad you got out of your writer's block.” 

“Write what you feel. That’s what you said. I also had help from Seb and Abby so I couldn’t have done it without all three of you.”

###

I wanted to wear something other than my usual farm get-up. Like being at the beach in the rain, there’s something surreal about being at the beach during the night. I took my hair out of my usual braids and pinned my bangs back with a white bow and then threw on a light blue sundress. It was a little chilly out but I felt okay with my arms exposed. Fall is my favorite season and I couldn’t wait for the weather to break. As I step out of my house, I see that Sebastian is waiting for me. I can see I’m not the only one who decided to wear something different. He’s wearing a different pair of black ripped jeans than his usual and is wearing a dark gray button up with the first three buttons unbuttoned. 

“What a surprise,” I say, “what brings you over here?” As I get closer to him, I inhale his scent. His cologne had hints of cedar, tobacco, and vanilla. His lit cigarette added an extra layer of tobacco. He smelled like heaven. He takes his half finished cigarette and puts it between my lips and before I could protest, he swiftly lights himself another one. 

“Needed to get away from my family. I figured we could walk together,” he says as we make our way off my property. He seemed tense and I could tell that he had been chain smoking the entire walk here. “You look nice,” he says. 

“Thank you. So do you,” I say, trying to not let my eyes linger.

“Demetrius wanted to take a family photo down at the shore. When he saw me in this, he seemed pissed off. Before I left I could hear him and my mom quietly arguing. I don’t know about what and I assumed it was about me. I just got the hell out of there,” he says while anxiously smoking his cig. “He’s known me since I was three. He raised me. I don’t understand why he hates me so much.” He kicks some rocks as we make our way through the town square. I wrap my arm around his and lean my head on his shoulder.

“You deserve better.”

“Ah, that’s just shitty father figures for ya,” he says, his mood shifting. I take my head off his shoulder and I see that he’s smiling at me. He knows I get it. We both finished our cigarettes before reaching the beach and I unlink arms with him. Him and I separate. He goes to Robin and I start chatting with the other villagers. When we separated though, it felt hesitant. Like he didn’t want to leave my side. Occasionally, I’d look over my shoulder and catch him looking at me. 

“Farmer!” Vincent exclaimed as I approached him, Jodi, and Sam. 

“Hey kiddo,” I say and reach into my pocket. Yes, my dress has pockets. I pull out a grape and he gasps.

“Wow! How did you know I like grapes?” he asked. Sam’s discarded shopping list. I press a finger to my lips.

“Santa told me,” I whisper. He looks up at me with wide eyes. I also give him a poppyseed muffin and pass those out to the other villagers as well. I look across the docks and watch Haley take pictures of Sebastian and his family. If I’m being honest, I felt a little jealous but I knew not everybody was happy in the family. Could I even create a happy family and break generational trauma? As I start to spiral, Haley approaches me, snapping me out of it. 

“Seb wants a family photo,” she says. I look at her confused.

“Didn’t he already do that?” she rolls her eyes at me.

“Like with you, Sam, and Abigail.”

“Oh.” Yoba, you’re so dense, Farmer. I can hear Sebastian say in my head. I follow Haley to where Sebastian is and eventually Abby and Sam join us. Sam and Abby are on the end and Sebastian and I are in the middle. I’m smiling but genuinely smiling. I haven’t felt warmth from others in a while. I look up at Sebastian, seeing his face flushed out with his own version of expressing happiness. He’s feeling the exact same feeling I am. 

the consequences of desire

chapter two - adjustments (read it on ao3 here!)

i woke up the next morning to the sound of one quiet knock and three louder knocks at my door. from my bed in the corner, i heard two voices - one: timid and unsure, the other: enthusiastic and confident. i knew immediately that these must be the two friends i’d already heard so much about, whether from lewis (who has a strong dislike for the blond boy), or robin (mother of the raven-haired boy). 

to keep them from waiting much longer, i dragged myself out of bed and answered the door.

“hello?” i said, still wiping the sleep from my eyes. 

the blond smiled brightly as he introduced himself, “hi! i’m sam. this is sebastian. we’re your neighbors! i know it’s only your fourth day in town, but we haven’t met yet, and we wanted to introduce ourselves!”

the other man stood next to him, reddening more and more as his friend rambled on about his family, his job, and the younger people in town. eventually, sam stopped and gestured for sebastian to say something to me. 

“h-hi,” he stuttered out, “welcome to the most claustrophobic place north of the gem sea.” 

sam punched his friend as i chuckled. “most claustrophobic, huh? i take it you’re not a huge fan of the valley..”

he shook his head in response.

i smiled before saying “well, i can’t say that i blame you. i sure didn’t think that i’d be out here farming for a living before last fall!” 

he gives me a small smile showing off his snake bite piercings and all i can think is that lydia would love this man. there’s not much i miss about the city, but, yoba, did i seriously consider stuffing lydia in a suitcase and bringing her with me. i smile absently.

the two men must be able to see i’m preoccupied because they take their leave but not before inviting me to the saloon on friday night. i thank them for the invitation and tell them that i’ll be there.

as they walk down my porch steps and off in separate directions, i linger a moment longer before getting ready for the day.

–

that morning is spent mostly watering and clearing more space for crops to cultivate. i’d finally gotten my hands on a solid number of cauliflower seeds which i was itching to grow. 

as i planted nearly four dozen cauliflowers, my mind wandered back to Harvey… how had he known i’d been avoiding him? why didn’t that make him less inclined to get to know me? what kind of person avoids the local doctor? what was Harvey doing right now? was he thinking about me? would it be so terrible if he were? what would i say if he appeared at this very moment while my dirt-covered overalls sagged with the weight of these damned cauliflower seeds?

it didn’t matter what i would have said, though, because he didn’t come. i didn’t see him again for three days. 

and, when i saw him three days later, it was while drifting in and out of consciousness as he carried me to the clinic.

hope u enjoyed <3333 see y'all next chapter ;)

if you've never befriended George StardewValley then that's ur loss, what a guy ❤️

i want to *** ** *** **** until i *** *** **** *** ****** and he ***** me **** and ***** me *** he **** ****** me and ******* *** *** ******* ****** ** and ************* me :)

SDV fic

Eight.

TW: sex, alcohol consumption

I’m tending to my crops, plucking melons from their vines as it’s the end of the season. Occasionally, a cool breeze kisses my cheeks. Fall is almost here. As I’m placing some melons into my shipping bin, I see Alex bounding up the path to my farm. I’m caught off guard when he reaches me so quickly. He’s out of breath, panting. If I were to guess he probably played inside center or maybe outside. More muscle than agility. 

“Hey, Alex,” I say while leaning against my hoe, “what brings you out here?” Alex catches his breath and stands up straight. He grabs me by the waist, pulling me into him, and giving me a passionate kiss. I’m caught off guard but I don’t pull away. Thank Yoba he didn’t do that while I was holding produce. I would’ve been pissed if he made me drop a melon. He pulls away.

“I want you,” he says, still lingering over my lips, “no. I need you.” I laugh a little and pull away. I’ve gotten compliments on my head before but this? He must be kidding. Before I could tell him to run back home, he scooped me up in his arms like I weighed nothing. I gasp and grab onto his shoulders. I had to give it to him, the spontaneity was really turning me on. He carries me up onto the porch and kicks my front door in. I’m gonna have to ask Robin to fix that later… He throws me down on my little bed. All the aggression and passion in the room scares Miso outside. He looms over me, undoing his belt and taking off his shirt before attacking me with his lips. He left bite marks from my collar bone down to my thighs. Is he going to return the favor? He rips off my shirt and yanks down my pants so that I’m only in my bra and panties. He kisses my hips and thighs before grabbing the fabric of my panties with his teeth and pulling them down. I shudder, thinking about what he could do with his tongue. He looks up at me and gives me a goofy but adorable grin. I brace myself for pleasure but I’m met with his fingers jamming inside me, moving back and forth. I winced as I definitely wasn’t wet enough for something to be inserted inside me. That, and he was just pumping his fingers inside me, like a makeshift cock. 

“Hey…” I start. He stops and raises his head.

“Something wrong?”

“Could you rub my clit a little? And then when you put your fingers back inside, could you do like a ‘come hither’ motion?” I ask. I feel a little embarrassed asking but if anyone was going to get off today, this needed to be done right. He furrowed his eyebrows together while staring into my cunt. He then turned a soft pink.

“Um… right here?” he asks while rubbing my labia. I know I got a bush going right now but clits stay in the same spot with or without hair around it. I take his hand and direct him to my clit. I’m not trying to embarrass him, just that if he’s also trying to fill the void with sex he should at least know what he’s doing. With or without me. He put slight pressure on my clit which felt good. I let out a little moan. Something then clicks in his brain which brings my hopes up. He then starts rubbing my clit like a DJ to a record. He’s going so fast I fear I’m going to get some sort of rug burn.

“Um, maybe let's try the fingers again?” I can tell he’s getting somewhat frustrated but listens to me and sticks his fingers back in. I feel a little dryer than I was but it’s nothing that I can’t push through. He moves his fingers in the way I told him to earlier. I relax as his fingers push gently against my g-spot and walls. “Yes,” I moan, “just like that.” As soon as it starts to get good, he pulls his fingers out and shoves his cock in. I’m a little disappointed but at least I’m wet enough to take something other than his fingers. He doesn’t try to ease into me but instead attempts to put as much of him as he can into me. I let out a little yelp when he finally gets all of himself inside me. 

“Fuck you’re so tight,” he says. Yea because I’m not fully ready yet. I wrap my legs around his waist and let him pound into me. Every other thrust he hits my g-spot but it’s not enough. I think he notices that I’m not having as much fun as he is and he starts rubbing my clit again in the same fashion as before. I let him keep doing his thing until he pulls out and finishes on my stomach. He slumps on the other side of my bed and I get up to get a towel. I wipe myself off and put my panties back on and return with some water and a snack for both of us. I tossed him the towel as well so he could wipe off his cock. I sit where I was laying before and we sit in silence while drinking our water and eating our snack. 

“So…” I start.

“So…” he copies, “we shouldn’t do that again, right?” I nod. 

“Yea. I don’t think we’re that sexually compatible,” I say. He shakes his head. 

“You’re just on a different level than me,” he says. My eyes widened. Please tell me I haven’t just taken this man's virginity. “You seem like you’ve been around the block a few times, which isn’t a bad thing! But including you, I’ve only had sex with three people,” he says. I sigh in relief. 

“Well,” I start, “so we agree that we shouldn’t keep having sex?” he nods and gives me a small smile. 

“You’re a little intimidating,” he says.

“I promise I wasn’t trying to embarrass or judge you in any way,” I say.

“I know. You’re just cool and really beautiful. It can be intimidating,” he says. I blush a little. 

“This doesn’t mean we have to stop being friends. Honestly, I let my own bad coping mechanisms lead to where we are. I really value our friendship and our talks,” I say. Alex smiles. 

“I kinda came clean to Haley about what happened at the ice cream stand. She thinks it’s good that I have someone to talk to about my mom, someone who can relate to me.”

“But about the sex?”

“Bad idea. And I think we all knew that. But at least we can be mature about this,” he says while getting off the bed and putting his clothes back on. I follow his lead, putting my jeans back on and then my shirt. I find my straw hat that has been tossed on the floor and put it back on.

“It’s a small town, in order to avoid burning bridges you have to be mature,” I say and give him a small peck on the cheek. I walk him out of the farm house and wave goodbye to him as he takes the path back to Pelican town. 

###

After a hard day's work, I enter the saloon, giving Alex a wave as he plays with his dog nearby. I’m grateful that we can stay friends after that whole thing. I sit down at the nearly empty bar.

“Farmer!” Gus says, “haven’t seen you in a while. What brings you in here?” he asks.

“Had a long day, Gus,” I say, “could you fix me a pint and a plate of your delicious spaghetti?” I ask. Gus laughs as he puts a pint of ale in front of me. 

“I had a feeling you had come in for your usual.” When Robin was fixing up my kitchen, I came in here a lot for dinner. I tried everything he had to offer but what stuck out to me the most was his spaghetti. I had to get his recipe soon. Not many people were in the saloon on a wednesday. Just Pam, Gus, Emily, Shane, and I. I had gotten to know each of them well except for Shane. We had brief conversations but for the most part it seemed like he was waiting for me to stop talking to him. Emily says he’s weary of new people and I had to push it a little. I didn’t want to be too naggy so I figured small conversations would do the trick. 

“Hey Shane,” I say, scooching a bar stool seat closer to him. He grunts in response. By the way his eyes barely focused, I could tell he was already intoxicated. I take a sip of my beer. “I hear that you raise chickens at Marnie’s farm. I’m thinking about raising some myself. Got any tips?” His eyes light up and he leans a little closer to me. 

“Hay. Lots of hay. Pets too. They like to be coddled,” he says.

“Do you have a favorite chicken?” I ask, “you know, like a favorite child?” he laughs and pulls out his wallet. He pulls out a picture of a chicken and as he does another photo falls out. 

“Charlie. Follows me everywhere. He’s my buddy,” he says as he puts the picture back into his wallet. He hasn’t noticed the other photo that fell out. I picked it up, it’s a picture of him and two other people holding a baby. I hand it back to them. 

“Important people of yours?” I ask, his eyes widen and I swear all the alcohol in his body disappeared. He rubs the back of his neck. 

“Old friends,” he says, “Jas’ parents.” From his tone I can tell that they’re a sensitive topic. That, and Jas lives with him and Marnie. Something must’ve happened to them. 

“I see. Jas looks just like her mother. I’m sure she's going to grow up into a beautiful woman,” I say. Shane nods and looks at the picture a little longer before slipping it back into his wallet. Gus hands me my spaghetti and Shane asks for his tab. Once it’s paid he turns and smiles at me. I’m caught off guard and I try to not have my jaw hit the floor. This is a first.

“It was good chattin’ with you, Farmer,” he says, “it’s about Jas’ bedtime so I should get back to tuck her in.” And he leaves without another word. Before I can take my first bite, Emily rushes over to me. 

“What did you say to Shane to make him leave the bar early?” she asks in shock. I shrug. 

“A picture fell out of his wallet. I asked him about it and he said they were Jas’ parents,” I said, “it seemed like a sensitive topic so I just said that Jas looks like her mom.” 

“Ah, yes. This isn’t my place to say but I’m sure you’ve already put two and two together but Jas’ parents died in a really bad car accident. Shane is Jas’ Godfather and they moved in with Marnie shortly after they passed,” Emily says. I shake my head. 

“I can relate to that. My mom also passed away in a car accident but I was a couple years older than Jas when it happened,” I say, “I also can’t imagine losing my best friends and taking care of their offspring.”

“I never knew that Shane before the accident but I imagine it’s what brings him to drink. He’s told me that he was a semi-pro gridball player before but gave it all up to move here and raise Jas. He hasn’t left the bar before close in a long time,” she says. I had heard that Shane was a gridball player but semi-pro? Incredible. “It’s nice to see that there’s another friendly face in this town for him,” Emily says. I smile, pay for my tab, then leave.

i’ve been making these, and my friends seem to like them. going to start a daily affirmation post. i will take requests if you have them <3

sebastian x farmer dynamic ?!

idk if my favorite pairing with sebastian is black cat x golden retriever!farmer, where he always acts like they’re a pain in the ass but secretly loves and feeds off of their constant energy and upbeat demeanor, while the farmer loves pampering him with affection and support

or someone quiet and mysterious, just like him, who’s favorite pasttime is just spending chill time together even without saying a word, with frequent motorcycle rides out to the edge of the city, lighting up a cigarette in the dead of night, a true power couple that always radiates badass energy

hmmmmm… decisions, decisions…

All bachelors asking you to dance with them during the Flower Festival!

hello hello!! i am so sorry this is late, it took some fine tuning—hopefully i got it right :) thank you so much for the ask, as always~

bachelors asking you to dance at the flower dance !

featuring all bachelors ♡

⊹₊⟡ sam

struggling through the Allergies™️

but he fights through it to get to you!! because he absolutely MUST ask the cute farmer out this year. this year is the YEAR

he's impressed that you can dance, too, as he watches you practice your twirls and glides with abigail

shoots abigail a significant look as she ~conveniently~ decides to go pester her dad at his stall

and all of a sudden, you and sam are side-by-side, while he casts nervous sidelong glances at you

"hey, you look really nice today..."

you simply respond with a smile and a compliment of your own, innocently unaware of his intentions

hoo boy, you are unknowingly making it VERY HARD for him

"want to... dance with me this year?" he manages to squeak out, face flushing before he even finishes his sentence

you're more than happy to accept, clasping his hand and dragging him into the center of the clearing, your carefree laughs and hollers carrying through the forest~

⊹₊⟡ sebastian

cannot believe that he is seriously considering asking someone to the flower dance

but, he figures, any time spent with you is worth much more than any embarrassment he might feel

so he just bites the bullet, finding you amongst the crowd, pulling you discreetly aside, and asks you, matter-of-factly

"dance with me?” he asks, holding out his hand

you're honestly surprised by his forwardness, but nonetheless overjoyed to accept

he didn't think he could ever enjoy dancing so much, especially in a stuffy suit of all things

but seeing the happy smile on your face has him... gasp! blushing?!?!

he’s able to overcome his initial anxiety when he has you comfortably in his arms, slowly swaying to the music

he could get used to this… ;)

⊹₊⟡ alex

tries to play it cool but he is seriously STRUGGLING

he had never had a problem with talking to you, so why was it so hard for him to muster up the courage to ask you?? >:(

pretends to be all casual, voice all light and airy when he approaches you, hands in his pockets

“you clean up real nice,” he says, tamping down the fear in his throat

but then when you look at him with your pretty doll eyes, he suddenly feels his macho return

“you’d look better next to me, though. whaddya say we dance together?” he asks, a smirk on his perfect lips

if he wasn’t so damn charming you’d be rolling your eyes

but alas, alex mullner is alex mullner, and in the blink of an eye, he has his hands planted possessively on your waist, the other guiding you in a surprisingly elegant dance as the two of you twirl together in the spring breeze~

⊹₊⟡ harvey

get this poor man a doctor of his own because his heart is RACING

seriously reconsidering his original plan, especially when he sees you so dolled up, excitedly flouncing over to greet him with a chaste peck on his cheek

and the poor man’s face burns a million degrees hotter

starts with some small talk, to check in on how you’re doing

but also to try and calm his nerves!! >_<

he finally finds the courage to ask you when you look up at him with expectant eyes, as if wordlessly encouraging him to say the words you've been waiting for all year

"would you... care to dance with me?" he asks softly

and BOOM, he's swept up in a whirlwind of your movements as you pull him over to the dance, giggling all the while

"took you long enough to ask me, doctor!~"

⊹₊⟡ elliott

has a grand proposal planned out just for you

with a blooming bouquet of delicate flowers he had picked that day, during a morning stroll before the festival

he doesn't even ask you at the dance, he arrives at the doorstep to your farmhouse bright and early

just before you open the door though, he's a flustered mess

smoothing out his hair and the lapels of his jacket

he has never felt!! so nervous before!!

but before he can even fully gather his thoughts, you're suddenly standing in front of him, a delighted look on your face

"elliott! what's the meaning of this?"

he clears his throat, finding the courage to (metaphorically) sweep you off your feet with his honeyed words

"would you care to accompany me to the flower dance, my rose?"

you squeal with joy as you throw your arms around him, letting him lift you off the ground in a fairytale-like embrace <3

⊹₊⟡ shane

off in a quieter corner of the field, sipping on a soda

he was secretly waiting for you to show up, but he acts all bothered when you run over to him, all cheery and smiley

you lovee bothering him <3

behind closed doors, you were hoping for him to ask you to dance, but you knew there was no chance of that happening

so his next words caught you completely off guard, spoken so quietly you almost missed them

“… wanted t’try dancing this year, ‘n i figured you would be the most helpful, seein’ how you’re so good at it…” he mutters just barely under his breath

you just yank him by the arm to the center of the dance, much to his surprise

“if you wanna dance with me, just say that!” you laugh, twirling around him at a dizzying speed

he was in for a RIDE, but he was more than amused to oblige <3

thank you so much for reading! requests are always open~

boss makes a dollar, i make a dime. that’s why i sketch harvey stardew valley on company time.

FINAL EXAM IN 90 MINUTES EVERY1 PRAY FOR ME PLSSSSSSSS

giggle berries

thats it. thats the post

SDV fic

TW: mention of drxgs, mention of sex

Seven.

After my farm chores were done for the day, I decided to try my hand at the mines again. I packed a couple of cave carrots and parsnips that I felt weren’t good enough to sell and also picked up a couple of grapes and spice berries as I made my way up the mountain. I had visited Marlon and Gil a couple of days ago to get a real sword so I wouldn’t have to use my pickaxe as a weapon. I had almost enough copper ore to smelt into the final bar I needed to upgrade my tools. There’s a couple of stumps on the farm that I can’t quite get rid of and they’re starting to bug me. I checked my watch, noon. I had to be back on the farm by nine for my hangout with Sebastian and Sam. For someone who’s late all the time, Sam expects everyone else to be punctual. I didn’t mind. Even after years of being separated he’s still a good friend to me. As I round the corner between Robin’s home and Linus’ tent, I see Abigail with a small dagger and a flute. I step on a stick and she whips her head around, almost like an owl.  Once she sees it’s me, she relaxes.

“Hey, Farmer!” she waves at me. I approach her, sword still slung over my shoulder. She looks up at me in awe.

“Hey, Abigail,” I say. She scoffs and stands up.

“Please, my parents call me Abigail. Abby is fine,” she says with a smile.

“Alright, Abby,” I correct myself, “whatcha up to?”

“Escaping my parents,” she says and kicks some pebbles into the lake, “what about you?”

“‘Bout to mine.” She gasps.

“You’re going in there? I’ve always wanted to,” she says, playing with her dagger in her hands. I wasn’t going super deep which is where I assume all the dangers are. Right now all I had to do was be on the lookout for bugs and slimes, I could get my errands done faster if I had someone watching my back…

“Do you wanna come with?” I ask while pointing to the entrance of the mines with my sword. “I’m not going deep-”

“Really? Yes! A hundred percent I would love to!” She squeals a little which was a little annoying. I haven’t had many girl friends in the past but it would be nice to get to know the other person Sebastian and Sam hang out with. I feel kinda bad for taking them away from her. We start walking towards the mines and I give her a quick run down.

“I’m gonna need you to watch my back while I mine. From what I know, the monsters we’ll probably see aren’t super dangerous but keep your guard up. Bugs won’t provoke you, just avoid them. If they touch you it feels like a punch to your cheekbone. There’s also little sentient slime balls and they will attack when they see you. If they touch you, your body feels like you’re on fire but when they’re as good as dead, the pain stops. You think you can be up for that?” I ask. Her little dagger wouldn’t be able to cut anything down immediately but if she has stamina, she shouldn’t have any issues.

“I can do that,” Abby says. As we take the elevator down to the fifth floor. I talked with Marlon and he said that every five floors I go, the more the elevator fixes itself, which was nice. I didn’t want to end up deep below the surface and then having to restart with the tiny ladder on the first floor. As soon as the elevator doors open, we’re greeted by the damp ominous presence of the mines. I get to work on the first rock I see.

“If you see any rocks with little orange specks sticking out, let me know,” I say to Abby. We made our way through the floor before finding a ladder which took us down. Before I can step a toe off the ladder, a little green slime ball is down there waiting for me. I take my sword and slice it in two and hop off the ladder. 

“Holy shit, what are those things?” Abby asks as more green slimes approach us. I sigh and take a big swing, slicing a good majority of them. “Ow, fuck!” Abby says, I turn over to her and watch her stab a slime over and over until it dies. I take out the rest of them and a large cluster of copper ore nodes are revealed to me. Thank Yoba, this should be more than enough. I dig in my bag for some burn cream and toss it over to Abby.

“This should help,” I say.

“Thanks. Were those the slimes you were talking about?” I nod and start mining away at the nodes. 

“Marlon says that they’re everywhere. Not necessarily dangerous, just annoying.”

“Yea, this little dagger barely did anything. I need to save up and buy one from the Adventurer’s Guild,” she says. I finished collecting the last piece of ore that I needed.

“You did good though!” I say as we make our way back up the mines, “when I first encountered a slime, I had no idea what I was doing.” Having Abby with me cut our time in the mines in half. We walk back to the farm, chatting as we do.

“Sooo… Anybody caught your eye yet here in the valley?” She asks with a toothy grin. I blush a little, thinking of Sebastian. “OMG! Whooo tell me!” I couldn’t tell her that I thought one of her best friends was attractive.

“Um… Alex and I have…uh been enjoying each other's company,” I say quietly. Abby grabs my arm and starts jumping up and down.

“Holy shit! Like what, girl, tell me everything,” she says. I smile a little. It’s been a while since I’ve had some girltalk. 

“Well, I mean, I might’ve… sucked him off a few days ago,” I say, a little embarrassed. 

“Damn girl, you don’t play around do you?” she laughs. We walked over the tunnel and over to the back of my house where I put the furnace. After finding my first couple of ores and talking with Clint, he gave me some blueprints for a furnace which I was able to make and now I had nineteen copper bars. I place the ore and coal in the furnace, turn it on, and let it do its thing. 

“Alex and I have some… trauma in common. That and in college I had a thing for gridball players soo,” I say. Abby laughs.

“I see. Shane also used to be a gridball player, maybe you should hop on that too,” she says with a wink. I blush deeper. I couldn’t fuck around in the valley like I did in the city. Everybody knows everybody and I was already being reckless with Alex so I need to tone it down. “Alex and I used to date,” she says. My face drops and I start apologizing profusely.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, it was a one time thing, I’ll cut things off with him immediately-”

“Chill, chill. We dated for like one summer when we were like twelve. It doesn’t even count,” she says, “but I appreciate… whatever that just was. You seem like a girl's girl,” she says. We walk to the front of my house and sit on my porch.  

“I wasn’t always. In high school I used to sleep with everyone's boyfriend. I guess it’s why I didn’t have very many girl friends. I stopped that shit in college but I still found it hard to make friends,” I said. Abby wraps her arm around my shoulders. 

“Well, you’ve got me! I also don’t have very many girl friends. I tried to be friendly with Maru, Sebastian’s sister but I don’t know. I guess we just didn’t click like that,” she says, “so tell me more about you and Alex. Did you play with his giggle berries?” I laugh.

“Giggle berries? Is that what you call balls?” I ask. Abby shrugs.

“Male anatomy is weird, might as well give them weird names right?” We laugh together.

“What’s all this giggling about?” We both look up and find Sam and Sebastian standing over us. 

“When did this happen?” Sebastian asks and pulls out a cigarette. I look up at him with puppy dog eyes. He rolls his eyes and grabs another one from the pack. He sits down next to me and places it between my lips and lights it like usual. Sam sits next to Abigail.

“You guys have been hogging them! Why didn’t you tell me the farmer’s so cool?” She pouts. Sam shrugs his shoulders.

“You don’t like to smoke,” he says. Abby gasps.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t hang out with you guys!”

“You don’t like the smell,” Sebastian chimes in.

“Well you and the farmer are smoking cigarettes so maybe that smell will cover the weed smell,” she says and crosses her arms across her chest. 

“Do not give those delinquents an excuse to chain smoke!” Sam says while packing the bowl. Sebastian and I look at each other.

“I wouldn’t say we’re delinquents for smoking cigs,” I say, “hurry up and pack the bowl.”

meet the oc

k I really gotta write a final BUT b4 I go here's Calliope's intro for u >:) luv u byeeeee

« i like holding your hand. »

I FUCKING LOVE THIS LINE AND WILL LOVE IT TIL I D WORD!!!

alt: a line i haven’t share yet:

« i heard two voices, one: apathetic and drowsy as though they’d just been dragged from bed, the other: enthusiastic and energized like they’d been waiting for this moment their whole life. »

Stardew Fic Writers and Readers Journal

Hi all, this is the (roughly) weekly or so check-in Journal for those of us participating in the Stardew Fic Pals low-stakes writing and/or reading challenge.

Writers: Share a line you've written in the past week!

Readers: Share a link to a fic you liked or talk about a fic you commented on in the past week!

As always, this challenge is for fun and if you didn't get to it during the past week, feel free to give it another go the next week!

ok so i’ve just planned out the first seven chapters of tcod so i hope yall r ready 😭😭😭 THERE WILL BE ANGST!!!!!

HARV 10 HEART SCENE WILLLL BE IN TCOD I PROMISE U NOW

Harvey.

Harvey, what were we doing there for 30 minutes.

Harvey. Harvey asnwer me Harvey this is important Harvey

(Harvey 10 heart event spoilers if anyone hasn't seen it yet and is only planning)

ᢉ𐭩 nsfw warning !

your cute hubby who can’t control his urges for you even when you’re hard at work on the farm, telling himself over and over as he daydreams about your plush thighs, cute face, and warm pussy while idling around the house that he can’t disturb you, that he has to keep it to himself

but without even realizing it, he finds himself ramming into your poor cunt over and over against the shaking wall of the shed, frantically pummeling his cock inside you, panting in your ear in the hot sun as your eyes threaten to roll back by the desperation of it all

“i’m so sorry, i couldn’t… couldn’t keep my hands to myself… seeing you all hot ‘n pretty ‘n hard at work like this…”

the consequences of desire

Apple Music - Web Player

Some Place Else by MorMor on Apple Music

Song · 2019 · Duration 3:34

read it on ao3 here!

i moved to the valley in the spring. it was so full of life, and nothing like i remembered it. the people i met were kind - for the most part. this is exactly what i was looking for, i thought to myself. 

as i meandered around on my first day in town, i caught sight of him. clad in a forest green blazer and an orange… no, bronze tie, he sat on a bench in the park by the old, battered community center. i was tempted to approach him, but i didn’t dare. 

it’s true that i fall in love easily. my mother used to say i must have been blessed by aphrodite. it sounds great to fall in love like that, but the other part, the part no one considers, is the falling out of love. to feel my heart break over and over again was torture, so, before moving to the valley, i’d decided to lock my heart away, to keep her safe from harm.

so yes, i decided not to approach him out of a fear that i’d fall just as naturally as breathing. 

and it was easy, at first, to avoid him. he keeps weird hours, the doctor. so when i’d finally visited the saloon, on the first rainy day in the spring of my first year, the mayor asked me if i’d met everyone in town yet, i’d simply said no. i’d been busy. he’d understood, of course, but when he had asked me who i hadn’t met yet, i’d told him only to have him escort me to where he was sitting at the bar, sleeves rolled up, hair disheveled, and nursing a half-full glass of red wine.

“i’ll let the two of you get to know each other,” the mayor said with a smile before returning to the rancher sitting patiently at his table. 

i caught the attention of the barmaid and said “i’ll have what he’s having!” emily smiled and nodded before walking away. 

when i finally looked over at him, the doctor was already looking at me. watching me. he looked like he was running some calculations in his head.

i blushed before saying “what? do i have something in my teeth? oh, yoba, that’s so embarrassing!” 

he laughed quietly before shaking his head and saying “no. no. nothing like that. i was just trying to figure out why you hadn’t introduced yourself to me yet.”

my eyes widened and i stuttered out “i-i.. i’ve been busy! lots to do on that farm. i’m sure you’ve seen it. it’s hideous!” i paused and sighed before saying weakly, “no. no, not hideous. but. um. i’ve been busy. really.” 

“oh. okay. well, good, then. i was a bit worried you were avoiding me–oh my. how rude of me. i haven’t even asked your name yet. do forgive me, please,” he said before looking down at his glass.

i flushed before saying “um, i’m Calliope. it means ‘beautifully-voiced,’ but my singing is about as impressive as my farm is right now… anyways, my friends all call me calli. you can call me whichever you prefer!” i smiled, slightly embarrassed of how i’d just rambled on about my name’s etymology to the man who had figured out that i was avoiding him. “um.. what’s your name, doctor?”

“Calliope is a beautiful name. i’m Harvey, the local doctor. although i suppose you figured as much calling me ‘doctor’ and all. um. it’s lovely to finally meet you, calliope.” he smiled at me, and his moustache bristled against his upper lip. not that i noticed. i didn’t notice his moustache or his stocky fingers tracing the rim of his glass or how his forearms looked with his sleeves rolled up.

i didn’t notice even one of those attractive qualities. how could i have when i was captivated by his eyes. the way his thick glasses magnified his eyes just enough that i could see that his eyes weren’t brown, they were amber. amber, my new favorite color.

when i eventually pulled my eyes away, i felt… lonely. but this was the problem, wasn’t it? i couldn’t get to know Harvey because i couldn’t fall in love because i couldn’t get my heart broken again. so, in favor of protecting myself, despite my heart’s desires, i paid for my drink, got up from my stool, and said “good night, doctor.”

i thought i heard a disappointed sigh before he responded “good night, Calliope.”

on my third day in pelican town, i walked home in the rain, alone.

hi everybody!!! new fic alertttt!!! this is coopted from my original harv drabbles so worry not. more of that cutie pie to come ;)

HELP THIS IS HIS REVIEW

texted my dad new chappell is out and not even 15 seconds later he texted back "What!?@" and is "already listening"

texted my dad new chappell is out and not even 15 seconds later he texted back "What!?@" and is "already listening"

I really enjoyed the fic you wrote 🫡

eeeekk thank u anon!! i’m always open to suggestions and/or requests ! :>

study dates with your bf !

featuring sam, sebastian, alex ♡

⊹₊⟡ sam

attention deficiency final boss

cannot focus for longer than two seconds without grabbing onto you, groaning dramatically

you need to give him an incentive, just like a dog <3

a donut, a can of soda, a kiss, ANYTHING

don't tell anyone, but his absolute FAVORITE reward is a kiss from you (but was that really a secret??)

cute boy is always so focused whenever you promise to give him a kiss once he finishes his work~

he tries to sneak small pecks here and there while the two of you are suPPOSED to be studying

you swat him away, but that just makes him want to do it more >:)

so when you finally order him to stop, he pouts like a dog who got caught being bad before hurrying to lock IN

this man is so insatiable, you love him for it <3

⊹₊⟡ sebastian

quiet and cozy in his room, sitting on the floor in front of the table where he hosts his solarion chronicles sessions

he always has some work to do, so he truly appreciates you being willing to do this so often

but in reality, you'd do anything to spend some peaceful quality time with your lover, the productivity is just a bonus <3

he'll be listening to music, drumming his fingers on the table as he works, constantly reassuring that it's not to dismiss you, it just helps him focus

he'll occasionally sigh tiredly, giving you a small peck for relief when he can't quite solve the bug breaking his code

he leans his head on your shoulder, asking what you're working on, your voice and presence an escape from his troubling work

most locked in out of the three for SURe

but he always makes sure that you know he's still there for you, asking you small questions and seeing how you're doing

just so so soft and sweet and cozy <3

⊹₊⟡ alex

needs to be somewhere indoors, otherwise he’ll be itching to drop the books and start running laps or something LOL

probably most comfortable in the safety of his room; it’s the one place where he can lower his walls and be vulnerable about himself, especially with you

you’re always so gentle and patient with him; it gives him the motivation to put his best foot forward, just like he does with everything else

the two of you would be sitting on his bed side-by-side, study fuel in the form of sports drinks and high-protein snacks strewn about

sometimes, he’s too embarrassed to ask you for help (as with a lot of things…)

but you’ll notice when he’s struggling a bit, the way his brow furrows and he screws his lips to the side in frustration

he feels more comfortable to open up and ask questions if you’re doing your own work next to him rather than hovering over him

so you always make sure to bring something of your own to focus on, your mere presence both comforting and motivating to him

always excitedly yaps to you whenever he accomplishes a feat, like solving a difficult problem or finally grasping a tough concept

you absolutely adore the way his eyes light up whenever he learns something new, and he lives for the praise you give him for it <3

thank you so much for reading! requests are always open~

:c

OC’s profile while i work on the next part:)

music enthusiast

former english major

marijuana user

can be found at the spa during winter

book hoarder

fondest memory is farming with grandpa

(will be) married to sebastian

pets

miso (brown/orange cat)

eclipse (will eventually adopt)

birthday is spring 25

likes

cherries

fire opal

triple shot espresso

morels

pumpkin soup

dislikes

haunted skull

dried mushrooms

bug steak

radish salad

cockle

likes going in the mines

dislikes public transportation

favorite villagers

sebastian

sam

abigail

robin

linus

saw this and immediately thought of him lol

starting tomorrow i will be super normal fun kind sexy and functioning