This Is Black Cat/orange Cat Behavior :D

saw this and immediately thought of him lol

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

TW: consumption of alcohol, light daddy issues

read it on ao3

Eleven.

Fall six. Year One. 

The chill breeze of the fall evening nipped at my cheeks and nose. I didn’t sleep much last night, haunted by why my sister is calling me and what she possibly could want. How did it come to a point where I’m afraid of my own little sister? I dress myself in a gray pleated jean skirt, old ripped fishnets that I can’t bring myself to throw away, and a simple white baby tee. I tie the outfit together with my black doc martens that I haven’t worn since college. They’re better than wearing the work boots I bought from Marlon. I make my way towards the bus stop, shuffling as I do. I didn’t realize how tired I was from lack of sleep and working on the farm most of the day. Many people are gathered at the bus stop: Sam, Abby, Penny, Emily, Maru, Elliott and Leah, Shane, and Jodi and Vincent. 

“Are you sure Vincent can come?” Jodi asks Sam with a nervous look on her face, “a metal show isn’t a place for a boy as young as him.”

“The venue is all ages, Mom,” Sam says, “Vincent sits in on band practice sometimes.”

“But you don’t use very nice words,” Jodi says and Sam rolls his eyes and squats down to Vincent’s level. 

“Vince, you know not to repeat the bad words we say, right?” Vincent nods his head.

“Mommy would be sad if I said bad words,” Vincent says.

“Very good and what else?”

“I can say bad words when I’m your age, Sammy,” he continues.

“I know you know a lot of the words to our songs but can you sing the bad words?” Sam asks.

“Not around Mommy,” Vincent says with a head shake. Sam looks up at Jodi with a weak smile, hoping to not get his ass beat. Jodi rolls her eyes.

“Fine. But if a single bad word comes out of your mouth young man, all three of us are going home,” Jodi says sternly. Both of her sons agree and that’s when Sam notices me.

“Hey Farmer! I think this is everyone, let's load up the bus.” Everyone trickles on. Pam, who’s the most sober I’ve ever seen, stops me before I get on. 

“You don’t look so good, kid,” she says. I shrug. 

“Didn’t sleep very well.” 

“Here,” she digs in her pocket and hands me a small energy drink, “drink this. It’ll keep you pumped up for the show.” She smiles at me and we all get on the bus. I sit down next to Sam, across from Jodi and Vincent. I chug the energy drink Pam gave me before realizing I didn’t see Sebastian anywhere.

“Where’s Seb?” I ask Sam. 

“Oh, he decided to take his motorcycle. Don’t ask why, I never know what’s going through his head,” Sam says with a laugh. I thought back to a conversation we had a couple weeks ago and he mentioned he liked to take his bike out at night and ride as far away as he can. It’s probably a good time for him to decompress, forget the constant demands of life for a second. 

“He must already be at the venue,” Maru says from behind us, “he left like an hour before we did.”

“Makes sense,” Sam says, “he likes to be punctual. And he said he would take care of talking with the owner and getting everything set up. Apparently this place is like half bar, half concert venue.”

“We’re going to the Julius, right?” I ask and Sam nods his head yes in response. “I love the Julius! The patio section is screened off but you can still hear the music in the bar. Sometimes I’d go in for a drink and listen to the music inside and if I was jammin’ out, I would buy a ticket and watch them. It was my favorite bar to go to in college,” I say. Plus it’s a Saturday night, people are going to end up filling out the patio. Sam has played me a couple samples of what they’ve been working on and many patrons of the Julius are alternative music fans. 

“Sick! Oh, here,” Sam says while handing me a piece of paper. “It’s the setlist. Those samples I played for you a few days ago, we also played for the manager of the bar. He thinks that his patrons will enjoy it so he gave us an extra time slot.”

“Holy shit,” I say while looking at the setlist, “there has to be like an hour's worth of songs here.” Sam beams at me with pride. The Julius is also a place where producers like to scout out new alternative music. If the band is lucky, someone might want to be in touch with them. We finally arrive at the venue where Sebastian is waiting for us. Abby, Sam, and Sebastian unload the bus while the rest of us trickle inside. I ask Jodi if she wants a drink but she’s ushered out to the patio with Vincent by a bouncer. No kids in the bar except to use the bathroom he had said to her. So I take a gamble on what she might like. She always has a glass of white wine with dinner and I figured a sauvignon blanc would do her some good. I order myself a shot of Jameson and an orange juice for Vincent. Down the bar I see Penny pleading with Pam.

“Please don’t drink too much,” I hear Penny say, “you have to drive us back home.”

“I’ll be fine,” Pam says with annoyance, “push comes to shove, you can drive it.” Penny sighs and marches out to the patio while Pam stays put at the bar. I called over to the nearest bartender and I’m pleasantly surprised when I realized it was Jean. Man, he’s been working here for like six years now?

“Well well well,” he says, “I hear you’re a farmer now. Is that why I don’t see my favorite regular anymore?”

“Sorry I didn’t mention. I kinda had to get the fuck outta here,” I say. He waves his hand.

“Yea, I get ya. What’s up though?”

“Do you see that lady at the end of the bar,” I ask.

“Yea, what about her?”

“She’s kinda my ride… actually a lot of people’s rides tonight. The band playing are some people from the valley so we’re out here to support them. Could you serve her n/a beer tonight and not tell her?” I ask. Jean laughs and pats me on the shoulder.

“Can I charge her for a real drink?”

“Do whatever. I need her blood alcohol level under the legal limit,” I chuckle. 

“Alright. Come back more often, would ya?” he says and we say goodbye to each other. I took the drinks over to Jodi while Vincent checked out the front of the stage, watching his brother and his bandmates set up.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Jodi says as I hand her the wine. I take my shot as she takes her first sip of wine. “I’m a little anxious,” she says.

“What for?” I ask before my tongue goes a little numb from the alcohol. 

“He’s… just not my little boy anymore.” She watches him carefully on stage while he helps Abby put her drum kit together and tune his guitar.

“But wouldn’t you say he’s grown into such a great young man?” I asked her as I also watched Sam on stage, testing the microphones and making sure you could hear Sebastian’s bass. Jodi chuckles a little bit and takes another sip of her wine.

“You sound just like your grandfather.” Jodi and I chat while we watch the band finish setting up. I was itching to hear what they had, especially the one song Sam and Sebastian kept teasing me with. 

“It’s going to blow your mind. Strike you to the core. It took me weeks to get through playing it without tearing up.”

The only metal song I’ve cried to is Fade To Black by Metallica so what could Sam have written that he thinks will give me a core striking experience? I go inside to get one more shot before the band comes on stage. I’m expecting an introduction from Sam but they go right into the music. Sebastian, with his bass strapped on his back, presses a button on one of his keyboards which resembles a faint ringing sound before Abby clashes her symbols and Sam comes in with a heavy guitar riff. Sebastian then slides the bass to his font and comes in with a deep bassline. I search in my pocket for the setlist Sam gave me earlier and find the name of the first song. Artificial Suicide. Sam shocks me with such heavy vocals I nearly drop my shot. I sling the Jameson down my throat as Sam switches up with clean and angelic vocals. I nearly choke. I’m so impressed by the raw talent they all ooze I barely notice anybody moving. Emily is swaying her hips as she stands at the front of the stage but nobody else is moving. I move away from Jodi and Vincent and make my way closer to the stage as the song ends. More people fill in from the bar after that outburst of a song. I find Leah and Elliott with their eyes wide, shell shocked after hearing the first song. Before I can ask them what they thought, the band goes straight into another heavy song. Hypermania is the name I remember reading under the opening song. The three of us watch Sam bounce around the stage before I finally decide that the crowd is too still. I grab Leah and Elliott’s hands and force them to dance with me. I had just enough liquor in my body to loosen me up. Leah, Elliott and I had some conversations at the saloon but not many so I didn’t know them all too well but Jameson absorbing into my liver didn’t care. 

I made Elliott take down his hair and head bang with me as he had the perfect hair for head banging. Thick and wavy and long. I looked around the crowd once more and pouted. It definitely wasn’t thick enough to crowd surf and Yoba I was itching to. My attention is turned back to the stage as Abby and Sam pause for a second and the sound of Sebastian’s bass fills the patio. I watch his long fingers glide across the neck of the bass while his other hand licks the strings near the pickguard. As I stay stunned from Sebastian’s mesmerizing fingers, Elliott and Leah start to dance with each other and I leave them be. I go deeper into the crowd and find Shane in the middle. He’s nodding his head to Abby’s beat. The song ends and Shane looks down at me.

“These guys are pretty good,” he says. I nod my head. 

“You a metalhead?” I ask.

“I indulge.” I give him a shit eating grin and for a second I swear I see a glint of fear in his eyes.

“Should we open up the pit?” Before he can answer, Sam speaks.

“We’re Goblin Destroyer! This next song is about screaming into the fucking void!” and immediately they start the next song. I don’t even hesitate to give Shane a hard shove and he almost loses his balance. He bumps into the person standing next to him who shoves him back to me. As soon as it started people started to fill into the pit, shoving each other and creating a circle. I play in the pit until the song ends. Sebastian throws his bass over his shoulder and takes place behind the keyboards. He starts playing the same three notes over and over and then presses a button which makes it loop. All I want to do is watch him, see what he does differently for each song, especially this one as it seemed a little different than what we had just heard. Unfortunately, the crowd filled in a little tighter and I got stuck behind a really tall man. As I do my best to see around the man, Shane taps me on the shoulder and gives me the universal ‘do you wanna get on my shoulders?’ concert hand gesture. I gladly accept and Shane squats down. I straddle his neck and hold onto the tall man in front of me for support while he stands up and lifts me over everyone’s heads. Now, if I was drunk, this would be the time that I would flash the band my tits but I did not have enough liquor in my system nor would I do my friends like that. Sam comes in with the lyrics but he isn’t screaming. His vocals are clean but the extra microphone he had grabbed from Sebastian earlier must’ve had something to distort and reverb his voice. I needed to ask them how they did that because it sounded so good. 

After that song, Shane puts me down, the crowd starts to get bigger and they start hollering for more. Sam takes a swig of his miller lite and the band recuperates for a second. I feel a tug on my skirt and I look down and find Vincent.

“Hey bud,” I say, “where’s your mom?” Vincent points to the entrance of the bar.

“She went to get another drink. I can’t see Sam,” he says with a pout. He probably saw me on Shane’s shoulders earlier. However, I’m not as tall as Shane so I grab Vincent’s hand and lead him closer to the stage. I shot Jodi a quick text telling her that her son is with me and hoped that she would be able to see him on my shoulders from the back. We found a spot decently close to the stage and I got him on my shoulders. Surprisingly, he wasn’t that heavy. He’s a pretty skinny kid and will probably grow up to have a similar physique to Sam. He couldn’t have been more than fifty pounds, all that work on the farm must be paying off. Sam gives the autotuned mic back to Sebastian and walks back to his own mic stand.

“This is an old one.” And they go back into the heavy stuff. As Sam is performing, he sees Vincent on my shoulders, points to him and makes his hand into devil horns. Vincent removes one of his hands from resting on my head and I can only assume he imitated Sam’s devil horns. I kept Vincent on my shoulders for another song before returning him back to Jodi. Her face was a blush pink most likely from her wine. 

“Thank you, Farmer,” she says, “did you have fun Vinny?” she asks her son. He goes on about how cool it was to see Sam up close and I excuse myself back to the crowd. A couple songs go by and all I’m fixated on is watching Sebastian go from bass to keyboard to bass again and sometimes doing both at the same time. Each song better than the last. I hoped and prayed there was a scout in the audience listening to their talent. If they lived in the city they definitely would’ve been already signed to a record label, album out, and touring by now. At least in my music connoisseur opinion. 

I ended up in the middle again with Shane who was sweating profusely after being in the pit for most of the show. I think I caught him off guard when we started the pit but once it was open he was in there like a fly on shit. 

“Alright guys,” Sam says breathlessly into the mic, “we’re gonna switch it up a bit. This is our newest song as well as our last of the night. And to be straight forward this song is not metal. Goblin Destroyer as a band likes to experiment and write what’s on our minds. This is called ‘Like Him’.” Sebastian fully takes his bass off and starts playing the keyboard. The notes are clean and he plays the same three over and over until he ends with a little chord and Sam comes in with vocals as light as a feather. Sebastian plays a mix of jazz and classical chords as Sam gets through the first verse. Like him. Like him. Like him. Sebastian slides his hands down the piano keys, creating a glissando, and starts putting more passion into the keys. Mama, I’m chasing a ghost. I don’t know who he is. Abby adds a light harmony as Sam sings and the further into the song we go, Sebastian starts hammering the piano keys and Abby comes in with her drums. As the chorus fades out, Sam slips into a guitar solo but it doesn't sound like your regular guitar. It was almost like he was playing the theremin but on the guitar. It was slow but smooth and attention grabbing. 

I couldn’t take my eyes off of them even for a moment. As Sam gets into the second verse, I start to really feel the lyrics. How can I miss something that I never had? I thought about my Dad. I can’t remember what he was like to me before Mom died. I can’t recall a look of pride or love for me. A scowl is plastered permanently on his face in my memories. Everytime he looked at me all I was met with eyes filled with disgust and distraught. I always prided myself on being able to read people well but I could never get a decent read on my father. I never knew what he was thinking or what was about to come out of his mouth. Yet, I missed him. I yearned for the father that he might’ve been when Mom was around. He couldn’t have always been so bitter towards me, right? At one point when I was in high school, he told me he couldn’t stand the sight of me. Is it because I look like him? Like Grandpa? Everytime he looked at me, was he reminded of his own father? What did Grandpa do to make my father hate the sight of his first born daughter? I couldn’t judge him as I also ended up being better off without a dad. I wonder if he thought about how history repeated itself or maybe he didn’t think about me at all. But everytime. Everytime I asked him what Grandpa did to make him so bitter, all my questions were swept under the rug. Mama I’m chasing a ghost. I don’t know who he is. 

As the second chorus ends, a swift movement catches my eye. Sebastian had turned to his other keyboard- the one that plays more electronic notes. He tilts his head to the side, like he’s cracking a bone in his neck then immediately lays down a beautiful set of notes just as Abby and Sam harmonize. The crowd around me starts to thin until we’re left with the people from the valley and a couple of stragglers. I look up at my three friends in awe as they finish the song in an explosion. 

“We’re Goblin Slayer! Thank you!” Sam yells then he, Sebastian, and Abby group hug. I smile and watch them and the rest of the villagers trickle into the bar. 

“Farmer?” I snap my attention to my left where Shane’s standing next to me. “You okay?” I knit my eyebrows together as he takes the knuckle of his finger and gently wipes under my eye. Oh shit. Have I been crying?

“Huh? Oh yea, I’m alright,” I say as I gently pat the tears away, careful not to ruin my makeup, “I guess that last song hit a little close to home.” I force a smile and suggest we go in for another drink. As we do, we walk past Jodi and Vincent. Vincent looked a little embarrassed as his mom stumbled a little bit. She was definitely wine drunk. Shane and I give each other a look and head over there. Shane and I were developing an unlikely friendship ever since that night in the saloon. He’s been giving me tips on my newly acquired chickens and ducks and lately he’s been telling me to raise rabbits as well. 

“Jodi, you alright, hun?” I ask her as I take Vincent’s hand.

“Farmer! Did you see my boy? Did you see Sam? He’s a rockstar!” she says while swaying. Vincent yawns and his eyes look droopy. Shane links his arm with Jodi’s and we make our way towards the bus. Hopefully they’ll both sleep a little before we fully pack up and go. We set them down in their own seats and Vincent passes out quickly. Pam was already in the driver's seat, doing crosswords.

“Pam, do you mind watching those two?” I ask before I step off the bus.

“Of course! I’m the most sober I’ve ever been. I had seven beers and I don’t feel a thing,” she says. I give her a fake smile.

“Well, if it ends up hittin’ ya. I can always drive back,” I say and Shane and I exit the bus. 

“Saw them givin’ her the n/a beer,” Shane whisper to me.

“I told them too,” I whisper back and we share a laugh as we walk back into the bar.

HARV 10 HEART SCENE WILLLL BE IN TCOD I PROMISE U NOW

Harvey.

Harvey, what were we doing there for 30 minutes.

Harvey. Harvey asnwer me Harvey this is important Harvey

(Harvey 10 heart event spoilers if anyone hasn't seen it yet and is only planning)

Nobody's Son, Nobody's Daughter

TW: Smoking, mastxrbation

read it on ao3

Ten.

Fall two. Year One. 

“So, how are you going to get to the city if the bus is broken down?” I ask Sam as I walk him to work. I had been working on the community center for the past couple of months, befriending the Juminos, but I was mainly focused on the foraging and crops bundles they were asking for. 

“Well, I’ve been saving all my paychecks from Joja since we decided we wanted to do a gig. Seb makes more money than Abby and I combined but he works himself to the bone. He’s been our main funder, honestly. We’re gonna try and rent a van to haul our stuff and maybe take some people with us, depending on how big it is. Seb’s gonna take his motorcycle to save room,” Sam says as we cross the river. 

“That’s a lot of money,” I say. Sam shrugs.

“The venue is gonna pay us about half of what the van and gas will cost. It’s better than nothing.” We reached the front of Joja mart. Shane, who had been walking in front of us, enters. 

“You’re not even turning a profit!” Sam shrugs again.

“I’m just happy I get to play music. It’s gonna be fun either way!” Sam bids me goodbye and walks into work. I couldn’t just stand around and let Sam drain all of his savings for one ridiculously expensive van that probably doesn’t even fit six people. I decided to head up to the community center, I know there’s a way I could help. I enter the old rickety building, the Juminos see me and run away and disappear. I always thought they were fictional. Fairy tales my Grandpa used to tell me at bedtime. Sometimes I think I must’ve cracked my back wrong and released the acid leftover in my spinal fluid from college. But each time I finish a bundle, the more real everything feels. 

I head over to the safe and look through the bundle. I had been avoiding this bundle because it requires giving money. I’ve turned a great profit since moving here but the thought of giving twenty-five thousand gold away just hurt my soul. I took a deep breath. I have about fifty thousand gold and it should be enough, right? I count out my gold and place it in the bundle. Twenty-five hundred. A green Jumino tugs on my shirt and hands me a gift. Inside were three chocolate cakes. Five thousand. It gives me another gift. Thirty quality fertilizer. Ten thousand. A lightning rod. Twenty-five thousand. A crystalarium. Once the bundle is complete, I take a look at what’s left of my money and cringe. I better go forage and pray that I’ll make a little bit of money back. 

###

Fall three. Year one. I’m done with my farm chores and as I walk off my property towards town to check on the community center, I see a crowd around the bus stop. I didn’t think the Juminos would work that fast. 

“It’s a miracle!” Mayor Lewis says. I stand next to Pam who isn’t up close to the bus like the rest of them are. 

“Yoba has come through,” she says. I look at her face, tears are welled up in her eyes but she doesn’t let them spill. I had forgotten that she used to drive the bus. Giving the Juminos what they wanted gave Pam her job back. I feel a pat on my shoulder and see that it’s Sam. 

“Can you believe it?” he asks, “how do you think the bus got fixed?”

“Juminos,” I say. He laughs.

“And now you’ll tell me you believe in the Easter Bunny,” he says. Vincent, who’s standing in front of him, turns around.

“The Easter Bunny isn’t real?” he gasps. 

“No, no. That’s not what I’m saying at all,” Sam says in a panic and leaves me to do damage control. 

“What’s going on here?” asks Sebastian as he walks up from the direction of town.

“Bus is fixed,” I say. He looks puzzled. 

“How?” I shrug. He stretches his arms above his head and yawns. His hoodie lifts up, revealing his lean tummy and happy trail. Sexy thoughts fill my head but I push them deep down. “Guess I stayed up all night finishing a project for nothing,” he says.

“Yea, you look like shit,” I say and he pushes my hat over my eyes, “c’mon,” I say and drag him back to my farm. I’ve had my fair share of all nighters whether it be from school, nightmares, or just plain ol’ insomnia. I take him into my farm house and force him down at my kitchen table. I give him a cup of coffee.

“Thank you,” he says in a raspy voice. I ruffled his hair, knowing he wouldn’t care since it wasn’t styled. I go in the fridge and take out the leftover pumpkin soup I made last night. I throw it on the stove and wait for it to heat up. 

“What are you giving me?” he asks as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Your mom gave me her pumpkin soup recipe. I bought a pumpkin from the traveling cart yesterday to try it out while I wait for my pumpkins to grow,” I say. His eyes light up.

“Moms pumpkin soup? I’ve been eating that my whole life… I dunno if yours can compare,” he said with a joking tone. But the way his eyes looked when I mentioned it, it seemed like he regressed into a little boy at that moment. 

“Well, you’ll have to taste it and tell me if I can live up to her,” I say. Sebastian chuckles as I go back to the stove. I stir it a couple of times and wait for small bubbles to form before taking it off the heat and transferring it into a bowl. I set the soup down and sat down across from him. His stomach growls as he gazes into the soup. He inhales deeply. 

“This smells so good.” Another stomach growl.

“When was the last time you ate?” I asked him. He takes a bite of the soup and his eyes widen.

“No fucking way you made this,” he says as he takes another bite. I knit my eyebrows together. 

“I did. Last night. You callin’ me a liar?”

“I ain’t callin’ you a truther,” he snaps back, “no, I’m not calling you a liar. This tastes just like how my grandmother used to make it.”

“I didn’t realize this was a family recipe,” I said.

“Nobody has been able to make it taste like Grandma’s since she passed. What did you put in it?” he asked. I shrug.

“I followed the recipe to a T… I did add a little more garlic though just because I like it,” I said. He devours the soup like a starved wild animal. I watch him lick his lips, wipe excess soup off his chin. If the man could eat like that, my mind couldn’t help but wonder. Does he eat pussy like that too?

“To answer your previous question,” he says when he’s finished, “almost twenty-four hours.” I shake my head and take his dishes from him. My back is turned to him as I was the dishes in the sink.

“You need to take better care of yourself,” I say.

“I don’t know where I’d be without you,” he says. I turn around and catch his eyes wandering up my body. Was he just checking out my ass? I clench my jaw and lean against the counter. He couldn’t have been. We’re too close, too friendly. “Probably in a ditch somewhere,” he finishes his sentence. I bit my bottom lip and the cool fall air suddenly turned hot.

“Bum me a cig?” I ask while charging out of the house. The outdoor atmosphere cools down my hot cheeks.

“Thought you were quitting?” Sebastian asks from behind me. He pulls out his pack and takes out a cig, pressing it between my lips and lighting it. Why, why did I ask for a cig when I know him placing it between my lips drives me crazy? Am I trying to ruin this? He slings his arm around my shoulder in a friendly way as he lights his own cigarette.

“...it’s been extra hard lately,” I say, “my sister has been calling me. But I’m too afraid to pick up the phone.” I take a long drag and hold it in my lungs. Punishing myself in a way for being too afraid of my baby sister. Afraid of what she’ll say, afraid that she’s sunk herself deeper into Dad.

“It’s okay to not be ready,” Sebastian says softly, “you don’t have to force yourself.” I feel his bicep on the back of my neck, soft but muscular. I wondered how he stayed so fit without doing much. I wrapped my sweater around myself tightly and leaned into him.

“Thank you, Seb.”

“No, thank you.” He yawns and we both finish out cigarettes. 

“You should get some sleep,” I say, “you’re more than welcome to take a nap in my bed while I work.” The bags under his eyes seemed to deepen every minute he stayed awake. I feared he would pass out on his walk home. 

“I- ahem…” he voice cracks a little, “I’ll take the shortcut home. If I fall asleep in your bed I can’t promise I’ll wake up,” he laughs. We bid each other farewell and as I watched him walk away, something burned inside me. A familiar feeling that occasionally creeps up now and then. And I planned on being productive today… Once he’s out of my sight, I rush back inside. I grab a towel from the bathroom and hastily make my way toward the bedroom. I dig in my bedside drawer for my favorite toy. I’m greeted with the familiar pink silicone and I smirk to myself. Just this once. To get it out of my system. I lay my towel down and sit on top of it, keeping my legs spread as I do so. I put on some music to put me in the mood. In My Feelings by Lana Del Rey always puts me in the mood. I take my pants off but keep my panties looped around one of my ankles. I turn on the toy and gently press it to my clit. I gasp as the cool silicone comforts my aching clit. Thoughts of Sebastian filled my head and the pleasure intensified. I thought about how close we were today and how if I had just looked up and connected his lips with mine, things would be different. I twitch underneath my own pleasure, picturing Sebastian between my thighs, lapping up my cream like he lapped up that pumpkin soup. I push into my lower abdomen lightly, intensifying my good feelings, and I let out a soft moan. I pictured him digging his nails into my thighs as he ate like a hungry dog, smothering my clit with his saliva, and releasing whimpering panty breaths into my pussy. But the intensity I had worked so hard to build up inside me vanishes. I sigh and lay in my bed, catching my breath. I was never good at finishing the fantasy, I needed the real thing. I shove my vibrator back into my drawer and stand up. As I went to grab the dry towel that rested beneath me, I noticed a small wet spot, and a smirk crawled across my lips. Fantasizing about Sebastian did something to me as this wet spot proved to be a somewhat successful playtime. I clean up, put my clothes back on, and finally head into town for what I originally needed: bok choy seeds.

lil Harvey drabble

it's late at night when you arrive at the clinic. harvey's at his desk, which you find peculiar. he's usually quite good about a work-life balance, even if he lives twelve stairs above his workspace. you knock on his door, but before hearing a response, you walk in. he looks... tired. you can see on his face that he's had a hard day. he looks up when you walk in and you see him relax a little.

he says, "just a minute. i've got to finish this report before I can close up for the night."

you nod, and sit down in front of him. you've never noticed how big he is before. he's handsome. a thought you've had before, but never one you'd really spent any time thinking about.

finally, he looks up again. he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. you instinctively reach over and grab his hand in yours. your embarrassment is instantaneous. you attempt to pull your hand away, but he's already intertwined your fingers together.

you look up at him. he's already looking at you. the way he's looking... it takes your breath away. he's handsome.

"i think you're very pretty, doctor," you say, matter-of-factly.

he goes red immediately.

oh shit. "have I made you uncomfortable? I'm so sorry, doctor. i- it was never my intent to do so. please forgive me, i-"

you suddenly look down. he hasn't extricated himself from your hold. you look back up at him, blushing crimson. "doctor?"

"yes?"

you take a deep breath and say, "you're still holding my hand."

he looks down and back up at you again before simply stating "i like holding your hand."

HEHE i hope u like i just write wtv comes to mind SO IG this is it atm >:)

A softer moment for my favorite crusty neighbor (and an excuse to draw jellies!)

i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley i hate clint from stardew valley

his favorite hairstyles of yours !

in which your boyfriend loves any way you wear your hair, but these ones in particular have him weak in the knees... featuring all of the bachelors <3

⊹₊⟡ sam

anything comfy for you is his absolute fave

because it reminds him of cozy cuddles :)

messy buns, claw clips, a loose ponytail...

it just makes him feel more at home with you than he already does

like its a sign that work time is over, and now he can spend the rest of the day with his love <3

so whenever you loosely tie your hair into one of these hairstyles, his cuddle mode is ON >:)

⊹₊⟡ sebastian

i think he's a sucker for dark hair

whether it flows past your waist or sits right above your shoulders, he just loves how it looks on you

his favorite is when it's down, so he can run his fingers absentmindedly through it

it helps him think, he swears!!

he has tried to braid your hair before while fidgeting with it

and now it's his favorite thing to do with his hands heheh

⊹₊⟡ alex

a high ponytail absolutely KILLS HIM

like you already look so good as you are, but whenever he catches you adjusting your ponytail to get it out of your face in the hot summer sun..

OOFFFF. rest in pieces to him.

he especially adores the strands that fall in front to frame your face, essentially a trophy of your hard work

even if it gets messy at the end of the day, it always reminds him of the summertime, organic and carefree~

⊹₊⟡ harvey

any small accessory just melts his HEART

a claw clip pulling your hair half-up half-down, cute barrettes framing your face, anything tiny but noticeable just does it for him

he appreciates how it's both adorable and functional for you!

he always makes sure to compliment it too, making you blush ehehe

king of noticing the small details <3

⊹₊⟡ elliott

anything elegant just makes him swoon

he already thinks you look like a princess, but even more so with your hair up like this

he always asks what he did to deserve such special treatment, but you just wanted to try a cute new hairstyle that day~

but now it feels even more fun to try out new styles, seeing which ones he admires the most!

he runs his fingers appreciatively through your locks, so gentle and careful not to ruin it <3

he wants you to teach him this superpower, and when you do, he's actually so amazing at it it makes you a little mad LOL

⊹₊⟡ shane

braids. braids of any kind

he just thinks they make you look nice, and he knows how tiring it can be taking care of the animals

so he likes that they can help keep the hair out of your face too

gently pulls on them lightheartedly whenever you tease him just a little too much as if "warning" you

he also likes how your hair gets a little (or a lot) frizzy when you take them out

its so endearing to him, even if he rarely admits it ;)

thank you so much for reading! requests are always open <3

changes (poem)

my favorite pair of shoes are falling apart, again.

they last fell apart the summer before my senior year of high school. 

this time, they’re falling apart before i even reach the summer before senior year.

they’re falling apart, again. 

they last fell apart the summer after the worst year of my life.

this time, they’re falling apart during the worst months i’ve had in a long time.

they’re falling apart, again.

they last fell apart when it was all i could do not to dream about the future.

this time, they’re falling apart when it’s all i can do not to worry about the future.

they’re falling apart, again.

they last fell apart when i was putting myself together again.

this time, they’re falling apart when i’m trying my best not to fall apart.

they’re falling apart, again.

i’m falling apart, again.

#omg #more #please #on my hands n knees rn

sdv fic

TW MDNI: death/trauma, smut/oral sex/using sex to cope, mention of drxgs

Six.

It’s dark… I don’t know where I am… A light zips by me and then another. I must be in the car. I’m buckled in a booster seat. “Mommy?”

“We’re almost home, sweetheart. Did you have a good time with Grandpa?”

“Yea. I missed Daddy and Sissy.”

“They missed you too, love. Go back to sleep.” I feel myself drift off and the darkness engulfs me once again. It doesn’t feel long before I hear the screech of tires, the smell of burning rubber and gasoline. Something’s not right. The car isn’t moving. I can’t see Mom’s face, only that her head is leaning on her window. As I go to unbuckle myself, a liquid drips down on my tiny hands. I try to get a closer look but it’s too dark, I can’t see what color it is. There’s a stinging sensation on my face but the only thing I can think to do is get to Mom. I stand in between the two front seats from the back. The windshield is smashed in and I think the front of the car is too. I’m not sure, I can’t see. The radio seems to be working, I think I can make out the familiar tune of You Never Know by Dave Matthews Band. I push Mom’s shoulder.

“Mommy, what happened?” She stays resting against the window. I push her again. “Mommy?” I sit down on the center console and push her harder. “Mommy! Wake up, please…” Blue and red lights start flashing in the distance. Mom still isn’t waking up and I’m getting scared. “Mommy, please,” I whisper, tears spilling out of my eyes. The stinging sensation gets stronger the harder I cry. The blue and red lights get closer to the point where they light up the car. The blue light washes over Mom like water and in the luminescence, she stares ahead of her, her mouth slightly agape. My eyes travel down her body from her face to her stomach. I can’t remember if I screamed or not. I think I just sat there, starting at the gaping wound in her stomach.

I jolt awake. I’m panting and my body is slick with cold sweat. I bolt out of bed and rush out of the house. I forget where I am for a second and trip down the porch steps, landing face first into the dirt and dust. I hear some footsteps rushing over to me but part of me thinks I’m imagining them. I struggle to get up before a pair of hands grab my arm and helps me stand up. I look around the farm, my eyes darting back and forth. 

“Hey, hey. You’re okay, you’re okay,” a comforting and feminine voice speaks. “You’re okay, love.”

“M…Mom?”

“Let’s sit you down,” the voice says. They help me sit down on the bottom step of my porch. Robin squats down to make eye contact with me. “Do you know what day it is?” she asks and wipes my face with her thumb. I didn’t even realize I was crying. 

“... Summer, day two,” I say. She nods.

“Correct. Can you follow my finger with your eyes?” She moved her pointer finger from side to side slowly in front of my face. I follow it with ease. “You took quite the stumble there. How are you feeling? Should I take you to Harvey?” I examine my body, a couple scrapes but no blood. I shake my head. 

“No, I’m fine,” I say, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“I’m glad I was here! I was surprised to not see you out here around six thirty and then all of a sudden, you come stumblin’ out here with nothing but… I think a sleep shirt?” I look down at myself and realize that I am indeed only in the oversized Slipknot tee that I sleep in. I bury my face in my hands.

“Robin, I’m so so sorry. I think I was having a bad dream,” I say. She sits down next to me and smooths my hair. 

“You’re okay, love,” she reassures me. I lift my head up to look at her. Her red hair glistened in the summer sun. If I were to guess, Mom would be around the same age as her. I picture that she’s just as beautiful as Robin. I embrace her. Tightly. I catch her off guard and she hesitates before wrapping her arms around me. I bury my face in her shoulder like a little kid.

“Thank you, Robin,” I whisper. Tears slip out of my eyes but I quickly wipe them away before pulling away from her. She goes back to working on my chicken coop and I go inside to change. However, I can’t get the dream out of my head. This is the first dream that I can remember after waking up since I was really young. I debate on calling my therapist but after trying to figure out a way to get to the city, I decide against it. I could visit Harvey… but I feel like he’s more of a “if you’re having thoughts of ending it, I can call someone” kind of doctor. I’m sure he only specializes in the human body, not the mind and the fucked up thoughts that come with being human. 

I try to shut my brain off as I make my way into town. I had no particular reason to go into town, I just needed to clear my head. But as I got closer and closer to the beach, I found that it was all I could think about. I’m looking down at the ground as I enter the beach but immediately, I’m shoulder checked and fall to the ground. What is with my center of gravity today? 

“I’m so sorry!” Before I could push myself off the ground, a strong and muscular arm grabs me and pulls me up. Now that the sun’s not in my eyes anymore, I can see the person who knocked me over. It’s Alex. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine… actually, Alex, I was just looking for you,” I say. 

“Yea? I’m just on my way to work, wanna walk?” I turn around and start walking with him, “what’s up?” he asks.

“I was wondering if you were feelin’ up to talking about your mom some more,” I say as we make our way across the river and turn in front of Mayor Lewis’ house. “You can say no of course, i…it’s just nice to know that there’s someone that can relate to me on that type of level, you know?” We cross the river again towards the museum but stop shortly at the ice cream stand. “You work here?” I ask.

“Just in the summer. What do you wanna know about my mom?” he asks as he sets up the stand. 

“Again, you can just tell me to shut up if I start asking questions that you don’t wanna answer. I don’t wanna overstep my boundaries-”

“Farmer, shut up. I love talking about my mom. There isn’t any question I won’t answer about her. Especially to you, y’know? Dead mom gang,” he says, interrupting my rambling. 

“Right. You’re right. I’m sorry,” I take a deep breath, “how did your mom pass away?” He finishes setting up and leans against the counter.

“She had cancer. She had some health issues when she was young and living in the valley so it wasn’t as surprising as it would’ve been. She actually had it multiple times throughout my childhood. The first time, they caught it pretty early on. They cut the tumor out of her and then cleared her. The second time, she had to do multiple rounds of chemo then eventually it was undetectable. She was okay for a couple of years but then it came back stronger and this is around the time when my dad left us. I took care of her until the very end,” he said with a sad smile. “What about you?”

I take a deep breath, this’ll be the first time I go into detail about my mom to someone in the valley. And honestly the first time where I think I remember it clearly. Or at least somewhat. “Car accident. I was a kid so the details are fuzzy but I had a dream about it last night. I was me but like my adult brain in my childhood body,” I say. Alex furrows his eyebrows together.

“Go on.”

“I should mention that I was in the accident with her. We’re driving home from the valley. She had picked me up from my grandpa’s farm after I spent the summer there. I remember we’re almost at home. I was sleeping when the initial accident happened but when I woke up everything was so still, except for the radio that was still playing. I’m okay but my mom is leaning her head on the window and she’s not answering me. I try to get her attention but nothing is working. It’s dark, I can’t see anything but when the cops start to show up and their lights reflected in the car, that’s when I saw everything. The blood, her dead eyes, the blood dripping from her mouth. She was dead on impact,” I said, recalling everything from my dream and what I heard when I was little. Alex’s jaw is dropped.

“What was the cause of the accident?” he asks, dumbfounded. 

“I think a semi-truck turned too quickly, tipped over and smashed the front of the car. I’m very lucky to be alive come to think of it,” I say. He tilts my straw hat up before flicking it back down to cover my eyes.

“That how you got that scar on your eye?” I fix my hat and nod.

“I guess a piece of glass came flying at me and cut me from the top of my eyebrow down to the top of my cheek bone. My eyes were closed when it happened, which is why there’s no actual damage to my eye. Had to get like ten stitches,” I say. Alex giggles to himself.

“My mom died and all I got was this sick ass scar,” he says. I laugh. It’s refreshing to be around someone who doesn’t have to tiptoe around me. I stare at Alex, feeling that lustful tingling feeling again. His biceps were prominent and his shirt sleeves hugged them so well. The way his shirt lifted up every time he raised his hands above his head to reveal his v-line and happy trail. I just wanted to… Fuck.

“Can I suck your dick?” Alex stops laughing. He looks at me like I’ve just lost my mind. He blushes and looks behind both his shoulders to check if anyone’s there. There’s nobody, I already looked. 

“W…what? Now?”

“Yea. Lemme suck your dick.” I smile at him sweetly.

“Haley usually comes and visits me at work right about now,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. I look over at her house, nobody’s walking over. 

“So? I can be fast.”

“Farmer, you’re insane,” his face was completely red now.

“Do you want a blowjob or not?” I liked how bashful he got. It made this game more entertaining. 

“Well, yea…” I step behind the counter. I double checked behind me, making sure Clint wasn’t gonna step out for his lunch break. I give Alex a quick passionate kiss while undoing the button and zipper on his jeans. I hand him my straw hat before sinking to my knees. I palm his dick, realizing it’s already hard for me. I pull down his jeans and boxers just enough for his cock to pop out. It’s not the biggest I’ve ever seen but it’s veiny and girthy. I wondered what it looked like compared to a Joja cola can. I circle my tongue around his tip and build up saliva in my mouth. He twitches a little and sucks in through his teeth. I wrap my tongue around his tip and move down his shaft slowly, taking in every inch, making sure everything is nice and lubricated. When I come back up for air, I make sure the saliva stays connected to his cock and my lips. I look up at him, batting my eyelashes. His mouth is agape and holding onto the back counter for support.

“Do you want more?” I ask. He shakes his head yes aggressively and looks over his shoulder. 

“But hurry up, I don’t want anyone to catch us.” I frown and shift my weight from my knees to my ankles.

“We can stop if you’re not going to ask nicely,” I say.

“No no no, I’ll be good. I promise.”

“Prove it.” he looks over his shoulder one last time.

“Please?”

“Please what?”

“...Please, Goddess?” Now that’s what I wanted to hear. I take in all of him again from tip to base. I bob my head back and forth and he lets out a low moan. I do this a couple of times before I attach my mouth to his sack and stroke his cock with my hand while I suck on his loins, twirling my tongue between the two. He lets out the most guttural sounding moan I’ve ever heard a man make. “Fuck… More Goddess, please,” he whines. I keep up my sucking movements while pumping him faster. His hands entangle themselves in my hair and he tugs on my locks, pulling me away from his family jewels. I give attention to his tip again, gently kissing and tongue fucking it while stroking his shaft. I look up at him, his eyes squeezed shut and his bottom lip in between his teeth. I slide his cock all the way in my mouth, nearly down my throat and start moving my head quickly. Another whimper escapes his mouth as I move faster and faster. His moans get louder as I pick up the pace. “I’m gonna…” is all I hear before I taste a salty, tongue-numbing substance. I stay at the base of his cock until he lets out a long exhale, letting me know that he’s finished. His softening member slips out of my mouth and I look up at him once more. His hands were still tangled in my hair and as soon as we made eye contact, I swallowed. “Fuck,” he mutters and tucks his dick back into his pants. 

I found some napkins to wipe my face and hands with. “Anybody coming?” I ask while staying on my knees. Alex turns around.

“Shit, Haley’s coming.” I make my way over to the edge of both counters near the entrance of the ice cream stand and sit on my butt, pretending that I was sitting down here keeping him company, and I mean technically I was. Haley approaches the entrance and looks down at me. I gave her a smile and a wave like nothing was happening thirty seconds before she showed up.

“Hey Farmer, hey Alex,” she says, “did you guys hear that noise? Sounded like a raccoon but like… dying? I don’t know how to describe it, it was just so unsettling and weird.”

“Unsettling?” Alex asks, sounding offended.

“Um… I didn’t hear anything. Was it in front of the mayor's house? I think there’s a couple of squirrels fucking in that big tree over there,” I say and stand up, “well, I gotta get back to the farm. Robin’s fixin’ up that coop for me and I gotta decide if I want to raise chickens or ducks.”

“Why not both?” Alex asks. I nod my head.

“You know what, you might be onto something there, Alex,” I say.

“Oh, Farmer, don’t forget your phone,” Haley says and hands me my cell phone that I left on the counter of the ice cream stand. I thank her and start to walk away. I catch a bit of their conversation as I walk away. “Why are you breathing so heavy?”

“It’s hot out. Air’s a little thick.”

“You’re acting weird…”

My phone starts vibrating as I cross the river. I answer without looking at the caller id. “Yo.”

“Hey, where have you been, Sam’s been trying to call you,” the voice at the end of the line is Sebastian’s. I’m unsure when I gave him my phone number but ride with it anyway.

“Sorry, I haven’t been on my phone. What’s up?” I ask.

“My mom told me about what happened this morning. Sam and I are worried about you. What are you doing right now?” Oh Robin… I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole town knew about my little episode. 

“I’m just walking through town. Found something cool earlier I thought Gunther might find interesting,” I say.

“Gunther?”

“You know, the guy that runs the museum?”

“You’ve been here a month and you already know everyone’s names? I’d forget Sam’s name if he wasn’t attached to my hip,” I hear Sam yell something in the background.

“Where are you guys?”

“Sam’s. We just finished a jam sesh, come stop by.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in like…” I show up at Sam’s front door and knock, “now. Right now. I’m here. Open the door.”

“Okay, okay, chill.” Sebastian hangs up the phone and the door is immediately opened up by Sam. He engulfs me in a bear hug.

“Dude, what happened? We’re so worried-” he stops and pulls away from me, “you smell weird.”

“Geez, thanks. That’s definitely what I want to hear after having the weirdest morning of my life,” I say. Sam sniffs me again.

“It’s weird but it’s oddly familiar?”

“Sam stop sniffin’ the farmer and let them in already,” Sebastian yells in the background. Yoba, do I smell like dick that badly? We walk into Sam’s room and he shuts the door behind us.

“Mom’s always listening in if I leave the door open. She’s the biggest gossip, I swear to Yoba,” Sam says and takes a seat on his bed.

“Oh, so Robin didn’t tell anyone else?” I ask, “it was definitely embarrassing.”

“Nah, my mom doesn’t gossip like that. She mentioned it to me because she’s worried about you and she knows we hang out sometimes,” Seb says, sitting over at Sam’s desk. I sat down next to Sam on the bed, taking off my boots so I could sit criss-cross applesauce. 

“I just had a really intense dream about my mom and kinda forgot where I was when I woke up. I went outside, tripped down the porch steps and wiped out. If you guys were there you would’ve laughed,” I say, trying to play it down.

“You forgot where you were?” Sam asks.

“I mean, I’ve only been here a month and I was caught off guard. I don’t usually remember my dreams when I wake up,” I say. 

“What was it about?” Sebastian asks. I clench my jaw and rub the back of my neck. Obviously, these guys know that my mom died when I was a kid but I didn’t want their pity. I didn’t want them to look at me differently if I told them how my mom died. I know my friends in college pitied me for being with her when she died.

“If I tell you, do you guys promise not to get all weird on me?” I ask, looking them both dead in the eyes, “‘Cause I’ll be able to tell if you do.” Sam crosses his heart with his fingers. Sebastian rolls his eyes but also promises. “I was in the car when my mom died. ‘Oh, is that where you got that scar?’ Yes, it’s where I got the scar across my eye. She died on impact and I guess the dream was me reliving it,” I say, “It really freaked me out and I had that little incident that Robin saw. But it’s cool now, I had some time to think about it and I’m okay.” I stare at the boys, bracing myself for their pity but it never comes.

“Wow,” Sam says.

“I’m judging you, not because you were with your mom when she died but because you really think we’re gonna think differently about you because you shared your trauma with us?” Sebastian shakes his head, “honestly, Farmer, you can be so dense.” I’m taken aback by Sebastian’s bluntness but I would take this response over anything else.

“I had shitty friends in college, okay? Maybe I’d feel better if you guys shared with me some of your trauma,” I say in retaliation. Sebastian sighs.

“Okay, fine. My dad used to hit my mom,” he says nonchalantly, “it’s why she left but he fought her for rights so I had to keep seeing that piece of shit every summer. He finally lost them when he struck me so hard I got a concussion. It was the first time he had hit me. He usually had girlfriends to take his aggression out on but that particular summer, he wasn’t seeing anyone. This was in public too, so I stopped seeing him when I was fourteen. Thank Yoba. The only good thing about visiting him was getting to be in the city.” I nod at Sebastian and we both turn to Sam. He smiles at us but it looks more like a frozen pond than his usual contagious smile.

“...My dad’s in a Gotoro Prison camp.” Sebastian rises to his feet quicker than lightning strikes. 

“What!”

“Hey, we said no judging,” Sam says sternly. 

“Why didn’t you tell me? This is serious dude.” Sebastian has a look in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. Rage, concern, distraught; all rolled into his chocolate colored eyes. 

“We just found out today and there’s nothing we can do but hope for his safe return. Hey, don’t tell Vincent about this. He’s too young to be hearing about this stuff,” Sam says. I understood where Sam was coming from with that. I didn’t tell my sister what I saw that fatal day until ten years later. She was only five when mom died and even though I was ten, I knew better than to say anything to her.

“We’re here if you need us, Sam,” I say. Sam doesn’t get a chance to answer me before Sebastian wraps him in his arms. Sam fights it for a second but accepts his best friend's love and concern.

“Thanks guys,” he whispers, “now let's go smoke this bowl, that’s the real reason why I wanted the farmer to come over.” We laugh as Sebastian lets go of Sam and we trickle out of the house like the stoners we are.