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Thoughts on kinky lesbian sex or is that somehow for the patriarchy too

Lesbianism is the purest form of love. Change my fucking view.

So when an incel says women are the root of all evil, they're automatically correct, but when women speak facts about how men are ACTUALLY the root of all evil, causing the evil to happen to themselves, we're seen as sensitive pussys. Lovely how the word pussy is also used as an insult. Fuck you.

Leave him for a woman.

It’s because they have this “perfect victim” mentality towards women of color. They’re just so innocent, kind, and helpless, accepting of everyone because they’re just so desperate for help they will accept minor amounts of abuse instead of major— I mean, they’ve always been accepting of these things!!

Whereas in reality women of color are just as able to form opinions based on logic as anybody else. In my opinion they don’t deserve to be treated like some child that needs saving, by people who liken them to men but in a progressive way this time. They’re allowed to have the focus solely on them, to demand more solely on their own merit and not that of nebulous “black trans women” (half of which were self-admittedly just transvestite, looking at you, people who screech about Marsha P Johnson)

Also women of color are the most effected by the sex trade, but nobody wants to talk about that because then they’d have to stop jacking off to their favorite victim and telling themselves it’s moral because it’s inclusive. So instead they twist our words and ignore us. There’s plenty of radfem women of color and I’d even argue it’s more normalized within every other group except white women, in my experience and research. Especially when you look outside of America (like the so-called transphobic 4B movement from South Korea). People are just willfully short sighted to serve their own choices and preconceived notions of the world.

The idea that radical feminism is just for white women and that all radical feminists talk about is white women is so laughable to me. I hate to break it to these people but equating the idea of a fight for gender equality with white western culture and labelling the misogynistic elements of non western cultures as progressive and based is actually so harmful. I care about all women, I’m not going to turn a blind eye to women of colour being oppressed by their own cultures out of fear of being labelled a racist sorry.

Ughhhh I’m working on a longer piece about the presence of patriarchy/rape culture in the LGBTQ community (and I know a lot of you are separatists, and I also am, but since it’s socially considered a community we all get lumped in together, hence the problems I’m talking about)

But anyway I’ve been stewing over it for like 2 weeks and thinking of what I want to say but there’s just so much it’s hard to figure out how to lay it all out in a way that makes sense and flows well so people will actually want to stick around and read the whole thing 😭😭 send help

Gyns…. I had a date and finally got kissed on the lips by a girl for the first time yesterday 🤭🤭🤭 y’all have to deal with my rant now lol

I made her a bouquet of her favorite flowers and took her to dinner at a Thai place nearby my house, and then we went to see “Sinners” afterwards (good movie btw) and ugh it was so healing and peaceful after how anxious I always felt trying to date men.

She’s so pretty too, 70s-90s vintage femme to my 70s-90s vintage butch lol. And she respects that I’m a stone top; while she didn’t previously understand the Stone/Princess dynamic before meeting me, she said it’s actually something she’d wanted but didn’t know had a name. She’s also spiritual like I am, and she’s got big 1920s pouty eyes and a nose piercing and UGH y’all I think I have a crush 😭 We’ve been talking for about 6 weeks now but she was preparing for finals at college about an hour’s drive away so we couldn’t meet up until after she got through with them and moved back home for the summer nearer to where I live.

Anyway tho we were sitting in her car waiting for my dad to pick me up after the movie, and she kept stalling even after he arrived so I figured she wanted a kiss, so I asked her, and she said yes but she wanted me to close my eyes because she was shy, so I did and she grabbed my cheek and gave me a few all one after the other and UGH I just love being a lesbian so much.

It’s also really healing to take the part of the “pursuer” in this circumstance (which obviously isn’t necessarily a thing butches or tops have to do, I just happen to be a stereotype lol) after past experiences that left me a little shaken. This time around I get to take that role and do it right, and I think I’m already doing a good enough job because she trusted me to hold her purse when she went to the restroom lol.

Idk I’m just really happy and it’s like that deep, calm happiness where everything just feels right for the first time in your life and you can just enjoy the experience.

It's not your place to dictate anyone's sexuality. Labels are supposed to make people feel more secure, not make them feel unaccepted. This is why so many LGBTQIA members feel like they have no place in the community.

Lesbians and gay men are the main perpetrators of this. This is exclusionary, and the same kind of thinking that labels bi women sluts and erases bi men. Stop it and give people room to figure it out

I was originally going to ignore this bc it’s a pretty insane take, but it kept coming back up in my mind and led me to think about labeling in general and how my generation goes about it (and unfortunately for you anon, I stayed just as radical).

There’s two types of labels: static, or inherent, and active, or chosen, labels. Static/inherent labels are things that you are born with, and are obviously observable to everyone that looks at you. Race and sex, most notably. Those do not require you to do anything to make them true, they just are. These are the labels in which rules and stereotypes are pretty much pointless because the color of your skin or your genitals do not determine anything about you other than the fact you have them. It is medical information and nothing more, and does not influence your personality.

However active/chosen labels DO need rules and regulations or they are completely pointless. Even things such as sexual orientation (which you are born with) need you to actively engage with them, even if it is just thinking “I’m gay”, for them to be realized. You are not born, a naked infant, and the doctor looks at you and pronounces you gay, or anarchist punk, or goth, or feminist, etc etc. And since they require actions to fulfill, then having set requirements for a category is vital for us to accurately communicate information to others. And if you do not fit the criteria for a certain label, the only thing that makes any sense is to choose another label that does fit you.

This conflation of the two types of labels has lead to a lot of nightmare messes for the queer community especially, but also even with people claiming they can be conservative and goth and it’s actually more alternative to be conservative and all that mess. Have requirements to be part of a group is literally the foundation for forming a group outside of just the general public, otherwise there is no point in doing so at all.

Also, Anon honestly seems to have more biphobia than I do, which I feel like I come across a lot. As soon as I mention potential bisexuality in someone people immediately start telling me not to slut shame, that I’m erasing bisexual men (somehow?) etc, when never once did I ever say anything bad about bisexual women. I’m close friends with bi women and I love them dearly whether or not they choose to date men because that’s their prerogative. However when I say “bisexual”, you hear “bad”. I do not think it is bad for women to be attracted to men. My complaint is when you claim lesbianism, a female same-sex only orientation, while constantly expressing attraction to men, because that reinforces the “she hasn’t found the right dick yet” narrative that puts lesbians in danger. I was literally just given that line yesterday and then stalked for 45 minutes by a creepy man.

Lesbians are not attracted to men. If you are attracted to men and women you are bisexual/pansexual/whatever word you want to use to express a polysexual orientation. And if you are bisexual, I love you and thank you for your self-reflection and honesty with yourself. Labels exist to give a name to your lived reality, no label is better or worse or cooler than another, and trying to stretch labels to fit things they aren’t is really pointless when the other label that describes you perfectly is literally right there.

Radical feminism, centering women, and worshipping female deities really turned my life around FAST because what do you mean my constant mental health problems are slowly alleviating, I’m making new female friends, I’ve finally left behind the toxic male friends, I’ve applied to and gotten my first management position, I’m gaining weight and muscle, and I’m talking to a lovely beautiful femme all within this year so far. Like I know radical feminism covers very serious issues too and politically life kind of sucks, but life really is beautiful as well when you center women and female-ness among the chaos. I love rad feminism and I love lesbianism.

(This was in response to me saying that it’s odd that Chappell says she’s a lesbian while also thirsting after men even within the past couple months, and saying I believe she’s likely bi and febfem)

But I am so TIRED of the “sexuality is fluid” bs. If your sexuality is fluid you are not monosexual!!! You’re bi/pan/“queer”/whatever else you want to use to refer to your status as a polysexual person, which is COMPLETELY fine. But it’s not homosexual. It’s not lesbian. These types of people are only adding fuel to the, “You haven’t tried the right dick yet” fire. Lesbians are not attracted to men, at all. Not only 30%, or 10% or even 1%. We are not attracted to men and we did not have to fight this fight for decades only for people to repackage it in a “woke” way. I’m so tired of how much the supposed left spews the patriarchy wrapped up in a pretty bow and claims it’s true leftism and I’m the backwards one.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask people to use proper words for themselves. I don’t want Chappell or anyone to conform to labels that don’t fit them, I want them to stop claiming labels that don’t fit and forcing the definition of that label to change, and instead choosing the ones that are literally right there and fit perfectly. Being bisexual is amazing and beautiful and I love my bisexual baddies, but being in denial of your bisexuality and claiming lesbianism just leads to messiness.

I’ve already done this once lol but I’d love to talk to other people too!!

reblog if it's okay for your mutuals to message you and create an actual friendship, not just interactions

“kink belongs at pride” i’d love to know why the fuck you weirdos wanna do that so bad? why do you yearn for random people to see what freaky dumb shit you’re into? literally why.

and i am like 90% sure i once saw a tweet that was responding to someone saying children go to pride and they were like “um children are more sexually aware than you think”.. there is something terribly wrong with you

Men: why do women think we equate sex with violence? Why do women think we equate penetration with punishment or humiliation?

Men: SUCK MY COCK, GET RAPED, CHOKE ON MY NUTS, I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER

Men: i just don't get why they'd think that... unless maybe it's because they secretly *want* sexual violence... maybe they're upset because they can't stop thinking about my donger

This argument is so frustrating to me, as someone who has also experienced both CSA and SA as a teen and adult.

With every other form of trauma, we know there’s a tendency to continue to try and replay the bad experience to see if it’ll be different this time. We also know that tendency is harmful because while it feels good to give into that temptation, it’s ultimately reinforcing the trauma in your mind and prolonging it’s ability to have a hold on you.

However that principle is suddenly forgotten when it comes to sexual trauma, I guess because of the “don’t kink shame” thing (which is a stupid rule to have because it leaves no room for nuance. I don’t care if your kink is rubbing ice cubes on your skin for temperature play, that has no risk. However some things do have risk and that’s why I criticize them).

Continuing to trigger your sexual trauma over and over again is only feeding the cycle. I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I know this from my own experiences in my teens. It’s a compulsion that needs to be starved off, and it can be very difficult to do that, but it’s what will ultimately help you move on, instead of just being stuck in a cycle of constant triggering to “desensitize” yourself. However I also know when your trauma is severe enough, you don’t really want to move on, so I wonder if they know deep down that they’re only prolonging this limbo, but they’re afraid of what’s outside of it.

I can’t excuse knowingly feeding into the cesspool of abuse that is pornography, however. If you truly feel you need this to process, at least try and find it through erotic writing or other forms that don’t have a risk of the person you’re getting off to actually being abused in real life.

wait so you're a rape victim and you actively support an industry that RAPES women? what kind-of mental disconnect is that? putting rape into the mainstream media sure as hell doesn't help with trauma but rather facilitates more of it. hot take but YOU just made a very uniformed take.

have you heard of this spray that makes you see hair on your face that is otherwise invisible so you can shave it with a dull plastic razor that comes in a 20 pack which will be on this planet for hundreds of years??? buy. have you heard of this single use sheet masks that does nothing different than a normal mask and you have to wear it overnight (it will come off) and on flights (you look crazy)??? buy. have you heard of this camera that makes you see your greasy scalp (normal) and dead skin (also normal) up close so you can purchase a treatment for hundreds of dollars and/or exfoliating scrub containing particles that are going down your drain and straight into the sea???? buy. have you heard of this special plastic gadget that

what’s so ironic to me is how much prostitution enthusiasts stress "listening to sex workers"—but the moment those very "sex workers" they claim to love so much disagree with them, suddenly they’re not worth listening to anymore.

"listen to sex workers" I'm listening! are you?

Or, “We wouldn’t rape you/have sex with you anyway because you’re too ugly so shut up.”

Which is such a classic male response.

tims will literally write graphic rape fantasies about women and how they want to “correct” lesbians but will throw a tantrum when you tell them that males shouldn’t be in women’s spaces

Y’all I think that fuckin “spoon bread” person made a new account 😭😭😭 i already blocked them once and they’re back reblogging my posts with complete slop that’s genuinely impossible to read

I actually had this in mind while we were talking about it 😭😭 I think I reposted something about this and added my thoughts but yeah, it’s just a bit odd. Every lesbian makes a joke about men sucking now and then. But the frequency of it is what throws me off with her and I hope she can figure herself out and get to a better place because I know she’s struggling with her mental health.

But between her and Jojo Siwa us lesbians are not getting the best of representation in media rn 😭

Who actually believes this wattpad ass story

I know there are a lot of complaints about the “Not Like other girls” era of books aimed at women, some I disagree with, some I don’t. But I’m rereading one of those types of books right now (technically re-listening bc I’m using an audiobook but same idea) which I absolutely adored the first time I read, and honestly I kind of miss that time period.

Like sure it was reductionist at times, but at least the women were unabashedly themselves and pushed back against gender stereotypes. This book is set in a fantasy past based off of Medieval Germany (from what I can tell) and with that obviously comes the sexism of the period, and she had actually realistic feelings on the matter. She thinks about how she wishes she’s a boy because she wants to have a career, specifically a farrier or a hunter, and criticizes the fact that she’s living in a society in which her value is through marriage. She’s practical minded, she looks up to her father and male relatives because she wants the freedom they have, but also feels a sense of displacement and disgust from them because of their sexism, and in general just has so much more energy as a character than I often see in more mainstream books now. And she’s STILL a woman and eventually finds her power as a woman.

Idk this is just a personal pet peeve of mine but I don’t like our current idea of rejecting surface level femininity = rejecting womanhood, either positively or negatively. On the one side you get shamed for it because you’re a pick me, on the other side you get told you’re just a man. And it’s made characters really really bland.

(Also maybe I just am the problem, idk, but I have had the experience of feeling left out and not like my female peers growing up because they were content to uphold patriarchal ideals and I wasn’t. I still put up a good effort when it came to talking about crushes and doing all the fun sorts of “girly” things they liked, but I had trouble finding anyone who reciprocated that energy towards me when I wanted to talk about my interests that didn’t necessarily fall into that category. So imo there is a kernel of truth in the “not like other girls” stereotype, not because other girls are INHERENTLY bad, but because of how our current societal pressures work on young girls.)

“Menstruate on it” as a synonym for pondering; sounds familiar enough to “ruminate” to immediately signify the meaning, but with an air of female intuition

That’s actually an insane take wtf. I’m begging people to stop basing women’s identities off of men, whether it’s for or against them. Women can and DO partake in things that doesn’t have anything to do with men. We are not based off of our differences to men. Oml.

Why do I keep getting the “Transandrophobia” tag across my dash, I literally don’t interact with any trans tags whatsoever but half of the posts I’m seeing are people whining about how it’s bad to dislike men because some are trans and don’t commit violent crimes as much.

Which like, I agree that trans men don’t commit violent crimes as often, hence why I’m not talking about them bc they were raised female and usually know better, but if I leave them out then I’m transphobic or whatever there’s not any way to win with these people.

I don’t doubt Chappel’s attraction to women, it does seem genuine, but I do wonder if she’s bi and just frustrated with men, and for valid reason. She does have bipolar disorder (she hasn’t talked about it recently to my awareness but she did a while back), and stuff like bipolar, BPD, OCD, etc can make it really hard to figure out what’s your actual sexuality and what’s societal pressure, or what you’re convincing yourself you like, or what’s stuff you’ve been told you should like or dislike, and it can be really confusing, especially while you’re in the spotlight constantly.

I mostly just feel bad for her and hope she can unlearn some of this stuff and get to a better place.

Who actually believes this wattpad ass story

This one has always confused me and I’ve had people try to argue with me about it in actual conversations and it’s always like, yeah? I’d rather work 35-40 hours a week for a paycheck that I can then divide up how I see fit, than be constantly on the clock and on an allowance. When my boss kisses me without my consent I can file a case for workplace harassment but I can’t do that with my husband, especially if he’s holding the money above my head. I don’t have to give birth to my boss’ kids. If he’s annoying I can just clock out and go to my peaceful home but I can’t do that with a husband.

Also I’m gay but the point still stands lol

“feminists would rather be wage slaves than care for their husband and children” so instead of being a wage slave i get to be a maid for a wage slave. wow thats awesome

Wild how everyone who criticises gender critical feminism just misrepresents it entirely???

They’re like ‘oh TERFs think that gender is a social construct made to oppress women based on their sex and keep them subservient … so naturally they must believe that womanhood is all about giving birth and being feminine’ UGHHHH

Men really are brain damaged they'll be like women have the PRIVILEGE of not being the sex that rapes people all the time :(. Everybody is scared of me or looks at me like a creep :( it's so hard women are so lucky to just be the rape victim class of people : *((. And expect us to feel bad for them

Women do not need to be in fear of harm or harassment to want a space to themselves.

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot with the whole women’s only gym nightmare argument the past couple weeks. So much of it is focused on a back and forth of whether or not women are actually in much danger, and I’m going to go even more woke and say I think the danger is actually irrelevant to this question.

We shouldn’t have to prove that we’re terrified of being assaulted, shouldn’t have to cry and break down into an anxiety attack on camera as we relive our trauma to prove we deserve a space for ourselves. If we put our time and effort into building spaces for ourselves in this stupid fucking patriarchal world, we’re allowed to keep it solely for the reasoning of wanting to keep it. That’s enough.

The sense of entitlement towards women’s work genuinely needs to be studied.

i love it when terfs call themselves radical cause like, nothing more rad than falling for right wing pro establishment propaganda

Firstly, here. Second, seems pretty radical to be a radfem when even our most basic level speech on women's rights ignites the anger of EVERYONE

“feminists should be nicer to men or else more of them will join the alt right” that’s strange because it’s never occurred to me to fuck off and join the kkk when a person of color is mean to me. I think if your threshold for being radicalized into a hate movement is as low as “I felt left out and it was mean” you weren’t going to make a very good feminist to begin with

Gyns do you have any suggestions for stuff to help work through anger? I recently had a close female friend that I thought supported me suddenly turn around and spew a ton of alt right propaganda. Apparently she’s gone down a tradwife pipeline and now believes that women having rights is apparently the root of all problems in the world, and she told me (a lesbian who she also knows has experienced multiple counts of sexual assault) that she believes that all women must find a man to submit to sexually.

And while I’m grateful for the fact I can now feel anger instead of shame, I’ve gone a long way in healing, I’d also like to be able to step away from it because I’m legitimately losing sleep over it and it’s dredged up a lot of flashbacks. I’m not trying to fish for sympathy, I just want to know if y’all have any suggestions for me.