Obey Me Shitpost - Blog Posts

Is it just me or do any of y’all also routinely forget that obey me is an otome game?

Oh my god somebody drew the parody

A typical day at Devildom. (It's not my job)

I know this has been done but:

One Brother: Why are you interrupting my date with MC?

The others:

I feel like “so bad it’s good” is soon going to be used on nightbringer because damn are those models janky.

Devildom Hot Springs and Overanalyzing their Atmospheric Pressure Pt.2: Cooking

Since pressure cookers cook things faster how the fuck would cooking in the Devildom work? As we sort of analyzed the atmospheric pressure of the devildom here

...

Imagine if the reason why Solomon's cooking is that bad is because he's still using the same cook times as on Earth and overcooking things at such stupid high pressure his food literally goes nuclear (I know that the pressure isn't nearly enough but it's funny okay.

Devildom Hot Springs and Overanalyzing their Atmospheric Pressure

I remember this one post that I saw a while ago talking about how the hot springs in the devildom and their ridiculous temperatures so I decided to actually go and overanalyze it.

So in one of the chats Asmodeus says that the hot spring in the Devildom is a balmy 400 Fahrenheit (or around 200 degrees Celsius), which sounds like bullshit because water boils at 100 degrees C or 212 F.

But water boils at higher temperatures at higher atmospheric pressure. According to The Engineering Toolbox, water would boil at around 400 F at 17 bara which is around 16.8 atmospheres.

But hot springs are not at boiling temperature, and Asmo describes the water as 'balmy.' The standard Japanese hot spring is around 40 Celsius, meaning that 400F should be less than halfway to boiling (especially since it's 'balmy'). However that would mean that the pressure is above 220 bar or above 217 atmosphere since water boils at around 373 C in those conditions.

The NCBI provides a hypothetical limit for the amount of pressure humans can withstand based on how far a human can dive (article here) and it's around 100 atmospheres (which honestly what the fuck humanity). But that is still below what we think the pressure in the devildom is and I don't think it is advisable to stay for long in those conditions.

What the fuck is the MC made of for them to be able to withstand this.

(Also was going to talk about Solomon too since he's also human but that guy is immortal I'm not putting things past him by this point)

Yes yes they do they can also do the murder

Diavolo: Do you have representation?

Mammon: I call upon my lawyer MC!

MC: My client is innocent!

Diavolo (pinching MCs cheek): Of course he is, case dismissed!

Lucifer: Lord Diavolo there's crisp clean video of Mammon stealing from-

Diavolo (petting & cuddling MC): MC said he's not guilty, so he's not. What's so hard about that?

Lucifer: MC do you handle murder cases?

Master piece and thank you cosmicstarlatte

MC: Would any of you ever start a cult for me?

Satan: You're asking us,

Lucifer: The seven lords of hell,

Levi: If we would start a cult for you

MC:

Lucifer: Where do you think we go Tuesday nights

I assume they are talking about the Vesper necklace from Crave, which vibrates (although I don’t know how well it functions as an actual vibrator):

However, I think it also looks a lot like this necklace which I happen to own and can confirm does not operate as a sex toy:

Geometric jewelry like that was very on trend a couple years ago, so I’ve got a couple things like that. Not sure why you wouldn’t be able to find other examples (answer: the vibrator necklace is funnier).

BiTcH wHaT

Nah, it’s cool, in the year 2021 he’s an upper middle class white guy named Seightynn.

real subtle, guys

Look I'm not saying Ayme Miura is now my favorite person in world all I'm saying is that he is so. damn. close

Made this in five minutes in MSPaint. Sorry not sorry for the shit quality, but this is literally all I can think about when someone calls Lucifer “Luci”.

Local Demon Brothers Personified With Onion Headlines

(with bad words and alcohol, for your consideration)

Lucifer:

Mammon:

Levi:

Satan:

Asmo:

Beel:

Belphie:

And I love them both.

When you’re riddled with anxiety over living in another four years of a fascist hellscape and you’re still hungover from drinking an entire bottle of Wild Turkey during election night coverage and you had to be hungover in court and the judge thought you were a monumental dumbass

BUT

THERE’S A PROPOSAL POP QUIZ

AND I GOT THE SATAN SSR

Anybody who lives in the Southern US probably has seen those Chick Tracts, the comics you find left in gas station bathrooms and liquor stores that tell you how Dungeons and Dragons/Catholics/Muslims/THE GAYS are secretly demonic forces that want to send you to hell forever.

I would pay an unholy amount of money for Jack Chick to return to life, learn that there are people playing a game about dating Lucifer himself, draw a cartoon pamphlet about how evil this all is, and die again of a rage-induced brain bleed.

Then I would use it to make a paper-mache statue of Asmo touching himself.

Or, like, some paper roses, whatever.

So I saw a video on YouTube recently where it was a DIY paper rose. I think it was 5 min crafts but don't quote me on that (I didn't click the video).

But BUT

It got me thinking about an MC who's mad at one of the OM brothers. But of course they still love said brother. Which leads to this:

MC: I made you a paper rose

Brother: Oh, thank y-

MC: It's made out of Bible Paper

Or, alternatively:

MC: It's made out of a pamphlet I got from a church telling me how to rid myself of demons

Diavolo's new sprite looking good

The exact vibe 👏👏👏

Diavolo is kind of a shit ruler if actually you think of it from the demon populations perspective, just imagine

This fucking guy (who is essentially a millennial in demon years) comes around and starts spreading pro angel, pro human propaganda and forcing grown ass adults to go to school?

I'd be the first to try and organize a hostile takeover and get my ass ran by Lucifer and Barbatos

Also the devildom is like, so fucking dystopian and fucked up, like RAD is literally used to control the residents of hell in the most direct way possible, forcing them to wake up and attend "classes" and get punished if they take part in typical demon behavior? All in the name of their shitty rulers SON? Like wtf he's not even the king why can he do this

I'd be so mad if I was older than Diavolo and got the news that I was being forced to go to some cheap human school replica

I'd try to kill him honestly

"RAD student body" what a fucking joke those are tax payers, Diavolo

Barbatos watching Diavolo commit his 27th war crime this week pretending not to care