Latest Posts by welivetodream - Page 8

Geez, I have to stop falling in love with every morally grey, broody dark haired man with a dark past I read about.

Taylor Swift is like a friend to me, a therapist, a mentor, a sister, a cool aunt. She just makes me feel understood. It's hard to describe what kind of parasocial relationship this is but I am happy it's there.

I feel so much stress that I want to pack up my bag in middle of the night, run away from home, change my name and start a new life working for some restaurant as a waiter or something.......

Dinner table conversation in my family:

Mom (ISFJ): I tried really hard to make all of your favourite dishes!

Grandma (ESFJ): That is so sweet dear!

Dad (ESTJ): You know I told you I want to try and eat healthy boiled vegetables and you STILL made my favourite food?

Me (INTP): *I did not want to sit with them and make them see my wierd eating habits* I don't like any of these food.

Mom (ISFJ): Too bad you have to eat it....NOW

Grandma (ESFJ): Let's pray to god before eating and thank them for the food.

Me (INTP): Why do we have to pray to god when they don't exist and did nothing for us?

Mom (ISFJ): just do what you are told

Me, turns to dad (INTP): didn't you tell me to have my own opinions and ideas about the world?

Dad (ESTJ): I am not saying you are wrong but.....if you want to have food you have to go by the rules. Just pray.

Me (INTP): I am not praying to anyone. I don't care if you take my food away! I am NOT changing my beliefs!

Grandma, upset (ESFJ): why are you like this, where did we do wrong?

Mom (ISFJ): Just be thankful then, okay? I don't have patience for a debate.

Everyone: thank you god for the food we received and for everything you did for us.

Me (INTP): Thank you mom for making the food, thank you grandma for helping in preparing it and thank you dad for buying the groceries.

Me (INTP): you told me to be more thankful, I was. There's always loop holes.

Dad (ESTJ): *hides smirk*

My problem is saying I don't give a shit about what anyone says and yet seeking validation from them.

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll: Richard Papen

Looks like they could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: Francis Abernathy

Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you: Charles Macaulay

Looks like they could kill you, could actually kill you: Henry Winter

Could kill you by feeding you too many cinnamon rolls: Camilla Macaulay

Does not deserve cinnamon rolls, will actually get killed: Bunny Concoran

"My taste in fashion and my budget in fashion are not the same thing"

-Jack Edwards (source: Youtube " I tried dark academia aesthetic for a week")

Me at 13: ugh all these girls are soooo drama, I am different. I don't even wear pink and listen to pop songs. I guess I am 'not like the other girls'.

*cringe*

Me at 17: loves pink, doesn't like jeans and wears dresses and skirts, watches chick flicks, listens to mainstream pop, worships Taylor Swift, waits for the MET gala every year, loves gossip, watches Chanel, Dior, Balenciaga fashion shows, watches video essays on celebrity culture and media, follows fashion historians, hates sports, hates video games, hates most "boyish" activities and wishes I was in a Jane Austen novel or a Nicolas Sparks movie.

Me: I guess I am the other girls I used to talk about

The Secret History × If We Were Villains

Where it's just Detective Colborne finding Richard and asking him about the two murders and Henry Winter's suicide.

Colborne: So you also did all this for the person you loved?

Richard: Nah, I did it for the 💫 Aesthetics💫

Colborne, to himself: this one is even worse than Oliver Marks.

I don't get how some people can eat whatever they want and not feel guilty about it......

My favourite Shakespeare quotes:

"We know what we are, but know not what we may be" - Hamlet

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts" - As You Like It

"Good company, good wine, good welcome can make good people" -Henry VIII

"This above all: to thine own self be true" -Hamlet

"There is nothing either good or bad, but things making it so" -Hamlet

"I do love nothing in this world so well as you; is not that strange?" -Much ado about nothing

"O happy dagger, This is thy sheath: there rust, and let me die" -Romeo and Juliet

"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool" -As You Like It

"Give me my robe, put on my crown; I have Immortal longings in me" -Antony and Cleopatra

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." -Julius Caesar

"Et tu, Brute?" -Julius Caesar

"Lord, what fools these mortals be!" - A Midsummer night's dream

"For she had eyes and chose me" -Othello

"But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve. For daws to peck at: I am not what I am" -Othello

"If she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world" -The comedy of errors

"Double, double, toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble!" -Macbeth

"Look like the innocent flower, But be the serpent under it" -Macbeth

"Life ... is a tale. Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing" -Macbeth

Slytherin and Ravenclaw on a date:

*Gryffindor spying on them with Hufflepuff*

Hufflepuff: this is so creepy, why are we here?

Gryffindor: why did you come then?

Hufflepuff: you told me we are getting ice cream and feed ducks in the pond!

Slytherin: they are spying on us aren't they?

Ravenclaw: ofc, hiding behind the lamp post won't help Gryffindor

Slytherin: do you know how we can scare them?

Ravenclaw: *nods* I am ready

*both pull out knives at the same time*

Ravenclaw: honey, are you ready for our next murder spree?

Slytherin: You bet I am. I heard someone following us.

Ravenclaw: the last victims are not even found yet....

Gryffindor looks at Hufflepuff: this is the moment.

Hufflepuff: what? I can't hear anything and why are they pulling out knives are they going to......

Gryffindor: RUN!!!!!!RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!

Hufflepuff: Ahhhhhh....all I wanted was to eat free ice cream!

Slytherin: they are not coming back

Ravenclaw: No.

Slytherin: why do you have a knife anyways? As a surgeon I have knives all over me.

Ravenclaw raises eyebrow: you never know when they come in handy...let's go I want cotton candy......NOW

Slytherin: *nervous laughter* you are so cute.

Ravenclaw: I have become accustomed to people being annoying. I am getting better dealing with them after I moved in with my new roommates. They are very unpredictable people---

Hufflepuff: ----Hey give me my pillow back, it's my favourite!!!!!

Gryffindor: I am not giving you this back, I need a pillow, I didn't bring one!

Slytherin: Give me the pillow Gryffindor!

*Gryffindor throws the pillow at Slytherin*

Slytherin: Here, take it *gives it back to Hufflepuff*

Gryffindor: I thought you were on my side! You betrayed me!

Slytherin: I just love watching you get mad.

Gryffindor: How am I supposed to sleep now without a pillow?

Slytherin: we can share one.

Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw: .....

Slytherin: why are you making this a huge deal? I sleep during the day and you sleep during the night, it's simple.

Gryffindor: Oh I thought you wanted to fuck....

Slytherin: you wouldn't?

Gryffindor: unless you want me to.

Hufflepuff: ....what is happening.....

Ravenclaw: Told you they are unpredictable, did you think this will be going in that direction?

Gryffindor turns to Ravenclaw: and you! Are you crazy? Who are you always talking to? What are you? Dora the Explorer?

Gryffindor: Is Ravenclaw alright? What's wrong with them?

Hufflepuff: what do you mean by that, they look completely fine!

Gryffindor: they are literally crying in corner with a cup of coffee since half an hour.

Hufflepuff: we all cry sometimes out of the blue...

Gryffindor: really? I DON'T. Hey Slytherin can you talk to Ravenclaw? You seem like the only person who understands them

Slytherin: *shrugs in a nonchalant way* Okay

(Walks to Ravenclaw, bends down and asks softly)

Slytherin: are you alright, buddy?

Ravenclaw: I finished a book and....

Slytherin: and your favourite character died?

Ravenclaw: YES AND I'M DEPRESSED. WHY DO THE GOOD CHARACTERS DIE?

Slytherin: and was this character a morally grey anti hero?

Ravenclaw:......how do you know.

Slytherin: I get it I have been there *patting their head*

Gryffindor: did I just witness Slytherin showing affection?

Hufflepuff: *squee*

(I know we all love the Hufflepuff×Slytherin but....I LOVE Ravenclaw×Slytherin way more!!!! It's like two very similar people but yet so different. And THE POTENTIAL CHEMISTRY!!!)

"We accept the love, we think we deserve"

- The perks of being a Wallflower.

So.....I deserve nothing ig?

16 personalities as Mean Girls quotes:

ESTJ: Gretchen stop trying to make "fetch" happen, it's not going to happen.

ENFJ: Why does Caeser get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not get smushed under his big feet. What's so great about Caesar? Brutus is just as cute as Caeser. Okay, Brutus is just as smart as Caeser. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caeser. And when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody huh? Because that's not what rome is about! We should totally just stab Caeser!

ENFP: Hey Buddy you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold. Shiny. Hard Plastic. Did you have an awesome time. Did you drink awesome shooters and listen to awesome music, and then just sit around and soak up eachother's awesomeness?

INTP: Oh hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?

INFP: I just wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake made of rainbows and smiles and we'd all eat it and be happy

ISTP: She doesn't even go here!

ESFP: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me. But I can't help it that I'm popular.

ENTP: I am so sorry, Regina. Really, I don't know why I did it. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you. Suck on that!

ESTP: Talk to me again and I'll kick your ass.

ENTJ: You're like really pretty! (Thank you) So you agree? (What) You think you are really pretty?

ESFJ: Get in loser we're going shopping!

ISFP: I am kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.

INTJ: Yeah I like math. (WHY?) Because it's the same in every country. (THAT'S BEAUTIFUL, THIS GIRL IS DEEP)

ISFJ: I am not a regular mom, I am a cool mom!

INFJ: I gotta say, watching the police search my house really was the cherry on top of a fantastic year.

ISTJ: (Where's Cady?) She went out. (She's grounded!) Are they not allowed out when they're grounded?

ENTP: you know I am getting bored, wanna rob banks or something?

INFJ: that is your first response to getting bored?

ESTP: it's not like we haven't done it before.

INFP: you have robbed banks before?

ESTJ: I stopped them before they could. Don't know what they will do if I am not there.

INTP: *whispers* have some real fun for ounce

ENTP: INTJ what do you think about robbing a bank?

ISFJ: obviously, he doesn't think it's a good thing!

INTJ: not really, in this money hungry capitalistic world, robbing a bank doesn't feel like a bad idea. Maybe we can start a revolt.

ESTP, ENTP: yeah rebellion!

INTP: I don't know. I am bored too but a rebellion will be too much work and people

INFP: I don't think......you know what fuck yeah!

ISFJ: you kids are really childish

ESTJ: that's why I am their babysitter.

Basically how Bunny's death went:

Henry: knock knock!

Bunny: who's there?

Henry: push!

Bunny: push, who?

Henry: push you!

Francis, Camilla, Charles, Richard: *gasp* anyways----

"It's not about the want to die but the desire to simply not exist"

-Me, 2022

Every MBTI couple: Part 1

ENFP×INTJ: the classic; it's like sunshine and butterflies standing next to Darth Vader. Tbh love the dynamic, the bounce off and the contrast.

INFJ×ENTP: they are like the smart couple who argues a LOT just beacuse they are both good at arguing about random stuff. They would fight a lot but they rarely get mad at eachother cuz they understand eachother at a deeper level and just love to argue regardless.

INTP×ENTJ: if I am talking about myself......I do find ENTJs super attractive. The low and high energy contrast works, both are thinking types, and they are the couple who makes fun of EVERYONE else and respects just eachother.

ISFP×ESFJ: they are probably the most loving couple in the list. You have the shy one and the doting extroverted one. Their relationship is like the one you think of when you hear "healthy relationship"

INFP×INTJ: the most used one ig in fictional stories. Another nice contrast and probably having the most slow burn material. I think they both secretly find eachother adorable...but never say it.

ENTP×INTP: WOULD DEFINITELY CAUSE AN APOCALYPSE

ISTP×ISFP: both are creative and down to earth. Will have one of the most low key yet healthy relationships. Since both are introverts, most dates would be in the house or isolated artistic locations.

ESFP×ESTP: A crazy trainwreck you can't help but watch go down

ESTP×INTP: I can see either becoming one of the best or worst relationships ever. The reason I find it cute is cuz my two main characters of my book are these two types and their relationship and chemistry is super cute.

ESFP×INTJ: they say opposites attract

ESFJ×ISFJ: emotions are oversaturated....

ISTP×ISFJ: .....(every person I pair up with ISTP makes the overall couple lowkey and cool) anyways, ISTP would teach ISFJ to not apologise for everything and focus more on themselves and ISFJ would teach ISTP to feel more emotions and enjoy life a little.

INTP×INTJ: they are the couple that never leaves the house, work on thier hobbies, don't interact with anyone and live their life in peace and comfort of being with someone just like you

ENFJ×ESFP: Tbh they are the couple all of us are jealous of

ISTJ×ESTJ: Both of them are organised and hard working. Would definitely not hate each other but are way too similar to have balance.

The 16 personalities in AMONG US:

ESTJ: the crewmate leader

ENTJ: the imposter leader

ESFJ: the one who stays in Cams

ENFJ: the lawyer

ISTJ: the hardworking crewmate

INTJ: the hidden mastermind

INFJ: the conspiracy theorist

ISFJ: the one who doesn't actually care about the game, just vibes.

ENTP: the one who is always sus

ESTP: the loud one in meetings

INTP: the hidden detective

ISTP: the one who doesn't do tasks

ENFP: the wildcard

ESFP: the imposter's accomplice

INFP: the one no one notices

ISFP: the one who gets killed first

"What do you wanna do when you grow up?" Asked the relative for the 100th time.

I don't know if I am ever gonna grow up. And if I do, you are in my hit list.

Growing up is when you realise how cringe Light was

"I WILL BECOME THE GOD OF THE NEW WORLD"

Like, chill a little bit edge lord. Have some potato chips.

The only way to go through the day is to find is a new TV show to obesses over, preferably one with at least 3 seasons.

Every winter all I think about is a holiday in a snowy place, in a village perhaps, where no one talks to me or see me. Where I can sit in front of the fire and drink hot tea listening to classical music and read novels. Where I can smile as much as I want. Cry as much as I want. Nothing comes in my way, I don't come in the way of others. I just exist. I don't have anything to worry about, anything to look forward to.

One of my “friends” asked me an interesting question.

Would I rather have the epic romance of my life or have a big of pile money for the rest of my life.

I choose the money and everyone started judging me.

Hey, romance is amazing, it’s exciting, its….Um beautiful.

But-

“The French are glad to die for love.

They delight in fighting duels.

But I prefer a man who lives

And gives expensive jewels.…”

And why shouldn’t I want that? My life, my rules.

INTP during an apocalypse:

INTP: Finally, something interesting! This could kill half the population! Including me! I can't believe people are scared of this! This is the best thing that ever happened to me! I can use the hours of apocalypse training I did instead of swimming lessons!

ISFJ: *concerned stare and judges quietly*

The many stages of depression: (TW)

Depression is one of those feelings that a lot of people have experienced at least sometimes in their lives. It is quite correct to state that everyone at one point in their life have been through it or will go through it. Some get depressed more than others; it could be due to environment, abuse, loss, bullying, mental disorders, stress, poor health, etc.

It is something widely experienced but not widely explained. The mystery of why depression happens to certain people can boil down to their psychological state but should not be considered the single parameter for its existence. Depression like cancer can happen to anyone regardless of any amount of money, status, love or psycological wellness they have. And like Cancer you can't just tell someone with depression to just ignore it or say they are overreacting.

As someone who goes through bouts of seasonal depression and lives in a place where depression is not even considered "real". I have broken down depression according to personal experience into 5 stages.

I am not a medical professional ( I do want to become a psychologist) or someone who can give advice on this topic. But as a patient of depression for around 2 years I can give a little insight into it. Just because I said there are 5 stages doesn’t mean it has to be these stages only, or in the same order.

Here it goes:

1. Anger: just like the stages of grief I always thought the 1st step towards depression starts with anger. It could be outbursts, sudden rage, irritation, annoyance, physical reactions such as intensive urge to kick or punch something (I always have days when I want to burn buildings down and kill my classmates). These reactions can be due to the sudden change in mentality we get before full blown depression kicks in. When we just hate every thing. Everything is stupid. Everyone is being annoying. One of our 1st reactions to anything upsetting is to be mad about it. Depression is not an exception. Anger is where you start. When you start to blame everything around your for causing the pain you are going through. This stage is very important, it is always good to take out your anger before it becomes too much. During this stage I am at my peak of annoyance and can be diabolical.

2. Paranoia: the stage that continues what anger started. This is when realisation kicks in that something is wrong in your mind. You can become paranoid of everything around you. Why is my friend ignoring me for 5 minutes? Why did my parents became quiet when I walked in? Why does it feel like someone is watching me? Why can’t I trust anyone? This is when you are at your peak in terms of insanity. I have been in this stage for the most part of my depressive episodes. Especially as an intuitive, paranoia can be disturbing and harmful to your mental health. It makes you question silly things that don’t even matter for the sake of increasing your blood pressure and start to isolate you from social life. That’s where stage 3 will come

3. Withdrawal: not the withdrawal due to addiction. This is when you start isolating yourself from others. Paranoia put the seed of doubt in your mind about people and how you don’t want them to be near you. People can be a problem sometimes. And this stage is just what being isolated means. This is also the stage people are the most familiar with, because it is often what depression is portrayed as: isolating yourself from other humans as way to build a wall to protect yourself from what paranoia caused. During this time I stop taking calls from my friends, family, anyone. I stop messaging or replying. I often stopped eating with family or having lunch at school with my friends. As an introvert this stage isn’t even that hard, but there is a difference between the choice of isolating yourself because you don’t like to be around strange people and the want to isolate from people you care about.

4. Sadness: the most well known stage of depression, some people mistake it for the definition of depression, which is so wrong. After isolating yourself, you become vulnerable. This is that stage of vulnerability and mostly when people start to have negative thoughts (suicidal thoughts). Sadness itself can’t be explained that well, other than that it leads negativity, hopelessness and the lack of interest in anything cheerful. When I get into this stage, my depression is the most apparent to other people. This is when my mom steps in and ask if things are wrong. And I say #fine when I am so not. Sadness can manifest in tears, coldness, increased self awareness, intrusive and harmful thoughts etc. This is one of the hardest and longest stages to overcome. Yet not as harmful as the next one…

5. Numbness: let me deep breathe before this……this is the most dangerous stage of depression. Every stage before this one had some sort of emotion in it. Anger, paranoia, withdrawn, sadness. But Numbness is the lack of any emotion that can be experienced, even negative ones. You lose all your hope. All your wishes and goals. Everything becomes a barren wasteland of nothingness. The lack of emotions is the worst thing that can happen to you. Just like how you die when your heart stops beating, having numbness to emotions will as in many cases lead to death. Unfortunately, this is the stage when most suicides take places. The inability to have any interest in life and getting overwhelmed from the fact you stopped living the moment you stopped feeling. Have I been in this stage? Yes. But since I am alive there must be a way out of it.

When I said 5 stages of depression, it was meant for those who sadly ended their lives because of it. Stage 6 is for those who made it out alive.

6. Acceptance: again like the stages of grief Depression ends with acceptance. Accepting your problems (I am the problem it's me!), accepting yourself as a problem, accepting help from people who care for you and accepting the little hope left deep down. If you made it to this stage, you are capable of doing anything you want.

Note: You are worth it! (Can't believe I AM saying this) And if you are going through depression or anything related to that, remember that one of reasons to stay alive is to pull revenge on all the people you hate. Maybe in future you can show your haters that the reason they hate you is beacuse of how strong willed you are. You don't have to prove your talents. You don't have to accomplish things to justify your existence. You are here for nobody but yourself. Be selfish, be a bitch and live out the best life there is.

Julian: so you killed two people?

Henry: you can justify anything, if you do it poetically enough

Francis *wishpers*: wrong fandom Henry.

Parents: my child is okay!

The child: watches 10 hours of video essay, lives on tea and biscuits, writes 20k words on one sitting, has debates with themselves, hates everyone, sleeps more than 12 hours, has no goals, has no friends, does not realise the day-night cycle, cries randomly.

Parents: I choose to ignore that