Matt : Hello People Who Do Not Live Here

*in an ambulance*

Paramedic: Don't worry Sir, we'll be able to save you.

Jorel/Johnny: *slips them 20 dollars*

Jorel/Johnny : Please don't.

Johnny: i wasn't that drunk last night.

Asia: you were flirting with me.

Johnny: so? you're my wife.

Asia: you asked me if i was single

Asia: then you cried when i said i wasn't

Judge: How do you plead?

Jorel, mouthing: Not guilty

Dylan: ... hot milky

Jorel: *bangs head on desk* for God's sake just lock him up

Jongup: go big or go home!

Daehyun, tears in his eyes: I am begging you, Jongup, go home. please. just this once, go home.

Jongup, whispering: i’m going big

Randi: This year, I lost my dear husband, Jordan.

Jordan: [in the distance] Quit telling everyone I’m dead!

Randi: Sometimes, I can still hear his voice.

Yoongi in fics :- I’ll have black coffee ☕️, with no sugar and no cream.

Yoongi in real life :- can’t even drink espresso XD

Youngjae: Hey Yongguk, what is Himchan allergic to?

Yongguk: Pine nuts

Daehyun: And the full spectrum of human emotion

Dylan: it's okay, Johnny. when life gives you lemons, you just gotta make lemonade

Johnny: that's a shitty advice

Johnny: why not just squeeze the lemon into the eyes of who's upsetting me?

Dylan: who is upsetting you that much??

Johnny: you, Dylan, with this terrible advice

Jaewhan: You look just like I did at your age

Hyuk: Please don't say that hyung.

Charlie: And now for a gay update from Dylan.

Dylan: Getting gayer

Charlie: Thank you Dylan and now to the weather-