Why Are They Out In The Rain? Take Them Inside! Offer Them A Hot Beverage And A Woolen Blanket! They

Life could be a dream

unbelievable find just now

"Taking inventory of the fucks which one gives"

Manager: Has anyone taken inventory yet?

Supervisor: I put 2 whole new hires on it.

Manager: We'll meet quota, right? We need at least 11 fucks to give come next quarter. (Corporate told them 46k)

Supervisor: Well, we're down by two elf percent since last quarter, not counting July.

New Hire #1: I've got the stats on inventory, and...

Supervisor: And what?

New Hire #1.3̅: We're out of fucks to give.

More favourite numerical memes:

Implicit or explicit enumeration of uncountable things (example: taking inventory of the fucks which one gives)

Suggesting the divisibility of things which are not customarily thought of as able to be subdivided (example: "six whole people")

Using words that aren't numbers as numbers (example: "one William dollars")

Technically correct but contextually misleading estimates (example: looking at a group of several thousand things and observing that there are "at least three")

Incongruous qualifiers for apparently simple sums or tallies (example: she was twenty-seven years old, not counting 2014)

So, how about that airline food?

Me, except I was also the little boy who liked trains. Still undiagnosed, and a girl now.

happy autism awareness day to all the girls who had “ friends” growing up who were actually bullying them . to the girls who always sat alone in the grass and wondered why nobody wanted to talk . to the girls who spoke to animals like they were listening . to the girls who created a little world in their room . to the girls who always felt ashamed for how deeply they love things and how passionately they enjoyed media . to the girls who covered their ears when they were overwhelmed by everything . to the girls who carrying a special thing around to feel safe . to the girls who never understood what they did wrong to feel so lonely . to the girls who were diagnosed later in life because they weren’t little boys who liked trains. you are so special and beautiful and you’re not worse for it, you love deeply and that is so wonderful please never try to push that down . I LOVE YOU !!!!!

"This is the story of how I died"

Thought my gf cheated on me again so I messed around with her gay brother, but it turns out it really *was* just her cousin that she was spending time with, so now I’m kinda feeling guilty and confused

Is this how a priest in a confessional booth feels… ten hail marys

Dosmond, Heeble, Snooblook, and Amitrius

Quantum hat. You didn't give enough exposition about the goat, so now the goat lives in my mind with a superposition of all possible hats many of which have yet to be invented.

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

I'll be needing these for later :]

Wanted to save my response to this. Felt important.

They probably won't listen even if you have a source. I mean, every single reputable medical organization has been saying for years now that minors having access to gender affirming care is essential to their overall health. Facts don't mean anything when the ruling class prefers rhetoric over reason. It is a good thought, but don't waste your energy that could be spent making art, forming connections, or fostering communities by debunking trolls. The professionals have already debunked them. What can you do to make things better than they are? For your life, for others, and for your wider community.

Fucking food purist.

I got that toasted ciabatta grindset.

Anyone know what a ciabatta chicken sandwich is? It's like ciabatta bread, pesto, tomatoes, basil, and balsalmic glaze? And like, the bread is toasted. Oh, and theres mozzarella too. And you're just eating it, and it's just the most scrumptious thing, so you shove it into your face orifice with little to no regard for safety. And then the bread is super toasty, and you are taking big bites out of it, and it's really tasty, but the next thing you know it's over and the roof of your mouth is bleeding and raw from the sharp, toasty ciabatta bread?

Or is this an incredibly specific experience that no one relates to?