Notetaking

"But not shaving is so unhygenic!" Girl I'm so sorry, I don't mean to be nasty, but the razor bumps and ingrown hairs near your urethra and anus beg and plead to differ. Your immune system is fighting for its life in ways you can't imagine.

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

Don’t hold the younger you to the standards you hold yourself to today. You didn’t know as much. You were in a different headspace, with different things affecting and scaring you, facing challenges that seemed big at the time. Maybe you were even lonelier. What’s important is that you know better now, and you know more now. That’s something to move forward with, not something to curse the past with.

You’re responsible for your own development. You don’t have to wait until others forgive or validate you. You don’t have to hold yourself to an impossible standard to ‘prove’ that you’re a better person. All you have to do is decide that you are and back that up with actions, because what truly makes you a good person is the fact that you care about being one. Not others telling you that you are.

“ Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation. You cannot control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you.”

Viktor E. Frankl, excerpt from ‘Man's Search for Meaning’

You might have disappointed some people; this doesn’t mean you are a disappointment.

you might not have have met some people’s needs; this doesn’t mean you are a failure.

you might not have received the love you needed; this doesn’t mean you are unlovable. just because you did not meet other people’s expectations doesn’t mean you are fundamentally flawed or a waste of space. You are a human who is growing and learning and trying again.

People need to realize that not everybody has the time to message back. People have lives outside of social media. Said person isn’t ignoring you they might just be busy.

Awesome

these are the five browser extensions (that aren’t momentum) i use the most as a university student! if anyone has recommendations for any other extensions, please drop them below :)

I will act as your wings if you fall and continue to carry you until you can carry yourself.

- Extract from the book i’ll never write

Don’t hold the younger you to the standards you hold yourself to today. You didn’t know as much. You were in a different headspace, with different things affecting and scaring you, facing challenges that seemed big at the time. Maybe you were even lonelier. What’s important is that you know better now, and you know more now. That’s something to move forward with, not something to curse the past with.