Don’t Hold The Younger You To The Standards You Hold Yourself To Today. You Didn’t Know As Much.

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I don’t care how problematic someone’s opinion is. They could spew the most racist, sexist trash in the world, but that person will never be worse to me than the cancel culture mob. Why? Because having an opinion isn’t an action. It can be ignored. It can be changed as the person grows. It is reversible.

You know what isn’t reversible? Murdering someone’s reputation. Ruining a life. Making death threats. Burying someone in shame with the FULL INTENTION of NEVER allowing them to become a better person, all so you can feel righteous for having “beaten the bad guy.”

Stop ruining lives. We need to learn how to express disagreement maturely. Cancel culture isn’t some ghostly all-powerful entity; it is individuals making the choice to add their screams to the mob. If you have participated, then YOU are culpable in this crime against human decency. And I know you are better than that.

We have court systems and juries to accuse people if they have committed a crime, if they have actively broken a law. Freedom of speech means having an opinion is not a crime, no matter how distasteful we find it. Hurting someone with words isn’t right, but it still is not a crime. And we should be thankful, otherwise everyone who has added their screams of hate and outrage on social media would be in prison.

Please. Let’s relearn how to love each other. Let’s relearn how to have grace with each other, educate each other, be good examples to each other so others will WANT to follow our example. No one has EVER genuinely changed their opinion because someone was degrading them as a person, and forcing everyone to follow popular opinion out of fear of public backlash isn’t freedom. It is tyranny. And it’s just going to lead to more hate.

Thank you for your time.

everything is a learnable skill

please make sure that wherever you’re at in life, you don’t treat it like a transitory period. don’t waste your college years wishing to already be graduated & have a job. don’t waste your single years wishing for someone to be in love with. if/when those things come, they will come in due time and they will be good. but there is nothing like looking back and feeling empty because you wasted literal years ignoring what you had because you were hoping for something better. while it’s important to better yourself and reach for your goals, don’t neglect the present because that’s where you are now and it’s your now that determines your future. 

“If you were born into a family that had expectations for you to play a specific role in order for them to affirm you, your work is deconstructing their ideas of who you were supposed to be and demanding respect for who you are. You do not owe your family a character. Have whatever relationship you want with your family, but live free. Express your truest self. Know that you were born to be known by those who have eyes to see you… As. You. Are.⁣”

— Nate Postlethwait

Our minds are naturally really good at envisioning worst case scenarios and worrying about problems before they’ve ever happened. And since it comes from your own head, of course it’ll feel like truth. But the actual probability of something going exactly the way you think it will is very low. Next time you keep yourself awake with nightmares conjured up by your fear, try to think of it like this, “I cannot predict the future, much less in the state I’m in right now,” and trust that the reality of things will be much more indifferent (and maybe even much kinder) to you than you are to yourself.

You’re responsible for your own development. You don’t have to wait until others forgive or validate you. You don’t have to hold yourself to an impossible standard to ‘prove’ that you’re a better person. All you have to do is decide that you are and back that up with actions, because what truly makes you a good person is the fact that you care about being one. Not others telling you that you are.

reminder that anger isn't a bad emotion!! in fact, no emotions are inherently bad. your anger is usually trying to protect you. it's a part of you that wants you to be treated right. of course you should always consider your actions, and you may feel angry at someone that hasn't actually done anything wrong in which case you shouldn't lash out at them, but you're still allowed to feel angry. listen to your anger, sit with it, hear it out. maybe it's not always reasonable but that's not it's job. you're allowed to be angry.

Our minds are naturally really good at envisioning worst case scenarios and worrying about problems before they’ve ever happened. And since it comes from your own head, of course it’ll feel like truth. But the actual probability of something going exactly the way you think it will is very low. Next time you keep yourself awake with nightmares conjured up by your fear, try to think of it like this, “I cannot predict the future, much less in the state I’m in right now,” and trust that the reality of things will be much more indifferent (and maybe even much kinder) to you than you are to yourself.