Mind It I'll Also Have A Swig Of That? 🕷️❤️😍😘🥰😌😁😋😉🤤☺️💯👉🏻👈🏻

How would jeff, Toby,ej,and slender react to having a newborn baby with their s/o

Jeff

His first instinct is to bully his own child.

“Lmao bro why this dude look like a mutated potato?”

And then he realizes that’s his son.

He helped create this weird shaped potato that his s/o just popped out.

He ruffles your hair and gives you a kiss on the forehead.

“It’s a whiney bitch like you, Jeff.”

“Yeahhhh I know :) ”

You’ll have to teach him how to change a diaper like 6 times before he’s able to do it on his own.

But overall his patience will wear thin with the whining and crying over not enough attention.

Sound familiar, Jeffery?

Toby

Fuckin’ ugly cried for like 15 hours after they were born.

gosh he’s just so soft dakjdhasja

It looks like an uprooted Mandrake, and screams like one for that matter, but damn does he think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

He gives his s/o so much praise and gives them tons of hugs and kisses for their hard work.

He’ll be adamant about taking care of the babe while his s/o rests up.

He’s a little nervous about holding them and walking around, but he’ll sit on the couch and cradle them.

He smiles when they cry and stroke their tear-stained cheek and sing to them to calm them down.

And ofc a little smooch on the forehead.

Still doesn’t know how to properly change a diaper and will probably never learn.

And you have a sneaky suspicion that one day you’ll see your toddler waddling around with a box attached with suspenders instead of a diaper bc that’s somehow easier.

Eyeless Jack

If anything, Jack is scared shitless.

He doesn’t have a clue how to take care of a newborn.

He’s a surgeon, not a pediatrician.

But he tries his best to do his part, little a little help from you of course.

He’s already done a lot of research beforehand, so he tries to follow the book’s advice.

Once you set the baby down in the crib, he’ll sneak in and kneel down to just s t a r e.

And think about how he helped create this beautiful thing, how his gorgeous s/o struggled throughout the nine months to birth out this weird looking dude.

And he knows then and there that he’s never going to let anything happen to his kid.

You’ll have to drag him away from the crib to prevent him from waking up the infant.

And he just gets this…weird protective instinct.

And whenever the baby is out of his sight Jack can literally feel a pulling sensation, along with rising anxiety.

“Jack that’s just your dad instinct kicking in. It’s probably from your demon side or whatever.”

“o h.”

He’ll research about this whole “dad-instinct” while he’s eating leftovers at 3am.

Slender

He urges you to get a home birth.

Like, what if the baby comes out completely faceless, what will the doctors think??

They’ll take his little babe away, and he just can’t have that.

But you talked to his mom, (who later scolded him), and she said it should be fine, considering Splendor popped out completely normal looking.

Except for the black eyes, which no one really saw anyways.

But you decide to get a home birth anyway, just so Slender could be by your side.

He’s so gentle with it.

And he melts when their pale and chubby hand grasps onto one of his thin fingers.

He insists his s/o rests and that he’ll be the one to do most of the work.

But he’ll end up coming to one late at night, disheveled and reluctantly asking for help.

He drops face-first into the bed as soon as you take the babe.

...Now I really wanna sniff an ahpeloria virginiensis. Thanks. Are there any such awesome awesome critters running around in Germany somewhere by any change? I know that it's being said that theraposidae like the phoneutria and lycosidae like the sparrasidae appearantly wandered to Germany. But so far, I had no luck finding one unfortunately.

do millipedes spray cyanide? i relocated a couple while cleaning my yard and now i'm mildly concerned

the millipedes that release hydrogen cyanide release it as a gas. these include various flat-back millipedes, although there’s plenty of flat-backs that just use a benzoquinone-based fluid defense chemical, which is what many other common millipedes produce (including the round-backed juliforms one often finds in the yard). in either case, you’d need to swallow a millipede for it to do you any great harm.

Apheloria virginiensis is one local to me, and I am guilty of picking them up when on walks in the woods to smell the cyanide: it’s a fragrant scent of almonds or cherries.

cyanide-producing millipedes, since their defense chemical is gaseous, really can’t hurt you unless you’ve already ingested the millipede or are like huffing dozens of them, which would both be probably be actions deserving of consequences.

other millipedes’ liquid chemicals usually just smell foul, like burning rubber. most millipedes under 3-4 cm aren’t going to pack much of a toxic punch at all. some of the larger tropical species in the Spirobolida and Spirostreptida can cause caustic burns if it isn’t washed off soon with detergent or if you have very sensitive skin. I’ve harassed plenty a Narceus and gotten some yellow, later dark purple stains on my hands, but that was the extent of it.

I hope @consult-sherlockholmes didn't dislocate his hip! Because I sure know what that feels like! Can't you just force Sherlock to let you examine him, @consult-johnhwatson??? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍✨💯🥹🥺😅😭🥲😳☺️👉🏻👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

Washing machines are like indoor swimming pools for clothes ._.

Dungeon Bats

Animagus!Snape x Animagus!Professor!Reader Wordcount: ~1000 Summary: Severus Snape thinks the Muggle Studies professor is strange only to find out she is an animagus with an awfully familiar form.

Read here or on ao3

The Muggle Studies professor was strange.

Hogwarts always had its fair share of odd characters occupying teaching positions. Even a ghost, evidently, was capable of teaching. But he couldn’t place what it was about you that made him so suspicious. 

You were human, not like Firenze or Professor Binns. You weren’t kooky like Hagrid or Professor Trelawney. Outwardly, you appeared perfectly normal. However, there were oddities if one looked closely.

You ate fruit. Lots of it. Every day at breakfast, instead of toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, things the other teachers would partake in, your breakfast consisted of fruit and only fruit, including a cup of pumpkin juice. Your plate appeared almost like a small pyramid, stacked with cubes of cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, honeydew, and grapes, leaving behind a pool of sweet juices when consumed. 

You also had a tendency to pop up and disappear seemingly out of nowhere. One time he went into your classroom to talk to you about moving a couple of detentions around only to find it empty, having swept his gaze around it. Just as he approached your office door to knock on it, you uttered a soft “hello” as you stood in the middle of the classroom, making him jump out of his skin. 

Furthermore, Filch had brought up to him once that he could hear some perplexing screeching noises echoing from random parts of the castle at night and even what sounded like right outside the windows. What was strange about it is he only brought them up the morning after you were scheduled to perform rounds.

This wasn’t to say he disliked you. Quite the opposite. Out of everyone in the castle, he’d say he preferred your company. Who he'd rather sit next to at Quidditch games? Probably you. Even though you were the Muggle Studies teacher, you had plenty of knowledge about Care for Magical Creatures and DADA. Potions weren’t your forte, but you’d happily let him ramble about the subject, even when he’d realize too late that he was rambling. 

“Why do you eat so much fruit?” he asked one day when you came into his classroom eating a sliced-up apple.

“Oh, uh, that’s just my animagus urges. Sorry, am I dripping juice on the ground again?”

He blinked dumbly at you. “You’re an animagus?”

You chuckled, “You didn’t know, Severus? I thought Minerva would’ve told you. Yes, I am an animagus.”

“What animal?” he asked. You smirked and set down the apple slices on a nearby table before shifting. Your robes moved with you, swishing up and shrinking until you took the form of a fruit bat. You flapped and swooped about the air in a few circles before landing on the flat surface of the table, using your talons and thumbs hooks to wriggle toward your sweet fruit.

“You’re a fruit bat,” he observed. You screeched at him in confirmation and began to gingerly gnaw on the flesh of the nearest apple slice. Severus remained quiet for a little, seemingly thinking to himself as his fingers flexed and his jaw clenched slightly. Much to your curiosity, he wordlessly set his wand down and took a deep breath. Within a flash, his robes swooped around him, and in his place was a fruit bat, just like you, but bigger. He flapped his wings just hard enough to get him onto the table as he landed with an audible thud. It was pretty much impossible for bats to take flight without launching from a tree or a high-up place.

[Woah! You’re a bat too? That’s awesome! Is that why students call you a “dungeon bat?”]

[Yes, I am an animagus whose form is also a bat, and no, that’s just a coincidence.]

[How come you’re so much bigger than me?]

[You don’t exactly tower over me, Y/N.]

From then on, the two of you would sometimes go on day flights if both of you had some free time. While both of you wished to fly at nights, you still needed time to sleep and perform your teaching duties during the day. However, your favorite times were when the both of you were scheduled to do rounds. Your classrooms were on opposite sides of the castle so it was almost like a game to use echolocation to find each other in the dark and meet up. It was a little fun considering the dungeons were almost maze-like. If the two of you were sure that no students were out and about, you’d ditch your duties, ascend up the Astronomy tower, and take off into the night sky, playfully chasing one another or showing off flying moves. 

Severus hardly used his form unless it was necessary. It’s not like one got to choose which animal they could shift into. Admittedly, he was a bit let down when he first shifted all those years ago, but with you he learned to embrace his batiness, though he still resisted such urges when it came to eating a castle’s worth of fruit. He liked flying, of course, but he found that he quite liked hanging upside down too, especially when he needed a break from grading or just wanted a change of scenery. Sometimes he’d come hang around your office when you were grading and vice versa.

Dumbledore came to visit his classroom one late afternoon to talk about a particularly unruly Slytherin, but could not find the potion master anywhere, not even in his office. It was rather dark, all the lamps extinguished and curtains drawn. What he did notice, however, was two wands haphazardly tossed onto the stone ground near Snape’s desk, one of which he recognized as your wand. Dumbledore craned his neck up towards the ceiling where an old chandelier hung and sure enough, hanging from one of the rungs was a large fruit bat, and swaddled in its wings being held close to its fur, a smaller fruit bat. The both of you were napping. The old wizard smiled at the sight and slowly receded back through the doorway, happy that Severus had finally found a little bat of his own.

Isn't entomomania the obsession with insects? Also, can I have some of the cake too? That looks so good! 🕷️❤️😘😍🥰😌😅☺️😉😁🥹🥺🤤🥳💯👉🏻👈🏻

Hi there, Mr. Holmes! What are your thoughts about arachnophilia and entomomania? *Leaves big chocolate cake for you*

Arachnophilia and entomomania? How thoroughly... intriguing. The love of spiders and the fear of insects. I suppose everyone needs a lexicon hobby.

Without proper context, I'm afraid I don't have any interesting thoughts on them.

As for the cake, your offering is duly noted. I trust it is dark chocolate?

Yay for the hand getting better and glad you're alright! My wrist on the other hand hurts and the curse of the red well is onto me this week! But I'm happy to hear from you again and hope that you'll be around more often once in a while again! 🕷️❤️

@talking-tarantula

Hi, I'll answer this here with just an answer on, I don't know, that? This is my mod account, I've talked about that stuff plenty but I know you weren't around when it happened. I don't talk about that on the roleplay account, I made this mod account to talk about anything roleplay related that- well wasn't roleplay. Mod posts!

I think the only person that was "replaced" was the sherlock account, everyone else after either: Left John, is either John or their friend, Stayed neutral/Was not posting at the time.

Their Jim is a replacement, but John did not replace me aha. He just had an opening after I left. It's a little bit of a, difference.

I'm okay, personally. I had a hand injury at the time and it was going not good, so mostly I left the situation behind. I have friends, I have support, I have a real life. This situation helped me step back a lot and, well, focus on my real life rather people online who can turn on you for funsies I guess. I prefer real life. So I haven't been around since.

My hand's getting better, after a few surgeries it's, getting better! ... So yeah. Not much now, I've just been focusing on work mostly. We had a large order we had to work on for awhile, and currently running the shop while our boss is out on vacation. Don't want to toot my own horn, but we're pretty important these days. Training to be the boss, so it's a fun little practice run.

Granted that was this week, so I'm off now. Long weekend, which is always nice because it's my anniversary (won't say which day) so we have a lot of plans.

I'm very happy to see you on tumblr again, I very much missed you during that time you were away. <3

SlenderMan x Female!Reader

This fic was written based on this amazing piece of art. Thank you for allowing me to write about your artwork @zombiebooty

This forest had a history. An old, evil history and it clung to the trees like moss. The moment you crossed the treeline, you felt it settle on your skin like a cold blanket.

This was stupid. Reckless. Mad.

But you wanted to prove everyone wrong. The creature in these woods may be something evil, but surely it wanted more than death and chaos. You followed the path that winded through the trees. The light from your torch gave little guidance. It was like the forest was consuming the brightness from your torch. Continuing you down, you finally came across a page. The sketch was just like you saw in the history books, the websites too. They always warned people not to take them down. And those that did, usually ended up joining the memorial by the forest entrance. You reached out and, instead of ripping it from the tree, you merely stroked the page. Careful of the fragile paper, damaged by the wind and recent rain.

Weiterlesen

Thank you so much! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️☺️😌🥳😋😉😁

Your favorite tarantula is back! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️🥺

So I was in Sweden for two and a half month and it was great! Unfortunately I couldn't access my mobile data (we didn't have wifi) for some reason and whatever I tried to make ot work didn't change anything!

When I went into Tumblr though when I did have wifi (at someone else's place) I couldn't access my old account ( @shame-of-chimical ) anymore so I had to set up a new one.

But I'm happy to be back and I missed you guys (I really missed spending time with Irene, sitting on Jim's nice and warm hand and Sherlock's awesome deductions and scientific explanation about things, but also I missed talking to Harry and the banter between John and Sherlock for example!)

But on that note, hello to @twireneadler, @criminalisticonsultant, @consult-sherlockholmes, @consultjohnwatson , @mrs-hudsons-blog, @mrs-turners-blog, @atamh, @antheaisntmyname, @therealharrywatson, @a-victorian-girl, and @everyone else that I might not have mentioned in my post! 🕷️🥰😘😍❤️🥺😭☺️😌😋😁😉😇🥳

Got a kind of aniversary even, which is spending 25 Valentine's Days single! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😄😁😆😉☺️😌🤣😂😅🫠💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

... I can't even send a gif? Boooring!

Fascinating that you have been testing it.

Are you bored or are you jealous of the new case I'm working on?