Isn't Entomomania The Obsession With Insects? Also, Can I Have Some Of The Cake Too? That Looks So Good!

PDA Headcanons for Crowley & Aziraphale (gender-neutral reader)

Crowley:

Super comfortable with public displays of affection. Only if he knows you’re also comfortable with it, of course.

He likes letting other people know you’re his (and, vice versa, that he’s yours).

Touchy. VERY touchy. Like one or more of his hands are probably on you at all times.

He likes having his arm around your shoulders (bonus points if you are quite a bit shorter than him - he likes the feeling that he’s keeping you safe.)

If you’re sitting down in a public place (like a park bench, for example) do not think he won’t pull you into his lap. Because he will. All the time.

He will grab your ass in public. He will probably do it discreetly, but he does it just to make you blush and get all flustered.

Constant use of petnames. Sweetheart is his favourite.

Absolutely not ashamed to kiss you in public. Like he will do it a lot. Not just your lips either. Cheeks? Yep. Neck? Y E P. If you have skin showing, Crowley wants to have his mouth there.

More than once he has kissed you, pinned you against a wall on some discreet London corner and things got a little too heated. Cue the two of you rushing back to the Bentley to get to somewhere a little more private 👀

Aziraphale:

Definitely not as confident about PDA as Crowley, but that doesn’t mean he won’t show you any affection in public. He’s just more subtle about it.

Hand holding. Literally his favourite thing to do ever. Does that thing where he rubs little circles into your hand with his thumb !!!

If you lean your head into his arm/shoulder when you’re walking and holding hands?? This angel will straight up melt.

Also likes using petnames on you, though Aziraphale prefers the more traditional “my dear/darling”.

I mean he’s just a good old fashioned gentleman. Holds doors open for you, never lets you carry anything ever even if you insist you’re fine.

You’re cold? He’ll be wrapping his jacket around your shoulders before you can even start shivering.

Will still give you forehead kisses and probably also kiss the back of your hand because he is SOFT AF.

One day you surprise him with a kiss on the lips whilst you’re out for a stroll and he goes red and probably starts tripping over his own feet but is grinning the whole way home.

You could still try it, I'm all ears, sweetheart! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍🥺🥹😅☺️😉😁😌🤣😂👉🏻👈🏻

Does your broken butt fell better today, Sherly? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍🥺🥹😭😳🥲😅☺️😉😁😌😂🤣👉🏻👈🏻

My posterior is not broken. The majority of it consists of muscles like the gluteus maximus, which you can't really break.

Concerning my bruised non-injured coccyx and sacrum, I might have palpated them when if I had fallen on them. And the theoretical palpation showed no broken or moving parts. No x-ray necessary given that a broken coccyx can't be treated with a cast anyway given you can't immobilise the bone properly.

But of course such a theoretical injury takes some days to heal and several impact points on legs and arms have bruises when you fall down the stairs. Hematoma usually take a few weeks to heal, as well as the pain to lessen. All theoretical, of course.

i don’t remember if i requested this already but may i request an nsfw scenario where cisfem reader and grelle get steamy in the office pls?

note— yes yes yes 30x yes!! imagine grell in this ... she is so majestic i can’t. mama mama mamaaa.—☆💋💄

rated: smut! includes: (risky sex, riding, nipple play, biting, drawing blood??? a little, noisy&needy grell :3)

tire out— ft. grell sutcliff w/c: 864

the office was dimly lit, filled with the quiet hum of paperwork being processed and cinematic records being sorted. grell, ever the vibrant death connoisseur, strutted among her office, files in hand. 

“honestly, darling… they’re just piling up today… like a mountain of paperwork!” she tuts, prompting a snort from you.

“your job is ridiculous.”

“pardon?!”

a tense silence follows her gasp as you try to find the right wording. 

“treating human souls like mere paperwork is so oddly dehumanizing, don’t you think? it’s funny.”

“well, dear, that’s the whole point,” she collapses onto the chair at her desk, spinning around on it idly. “us reapers have to do repeat that process to revise the cinematic records then to find if they’re worthy of death.. ughhhh… *so* exhausting.” 

her rambling was nothing short of endearing, that’s for sure. grell throws hear head back, leaning back on her chair dramatically. she sneaks a peek at you, who stands over her desk, lost in thought.

“did you hear me?”

“your bitch and complain? yeah, i did.”

grell’s eyebrows furrow. 

“oh, you wound me! you have no idea how *exhausted* i ammmm….” she trails off, giving you another hinting side eye. 

you bite back a chuckle, taking the hint too well before sitting right upon her desk while simultaneously pushing aside her paperwork.

“oh yeah? how exhausted?” 

like a moth to a flame, grell finally sits straight on her chair, her thighs clutching shut at your purr.

“quite… quite exhausted yes,” her ears flush along with her glasses lightly slipping down that bridge of her nose. 

so gorgeous.

you run your hands through her long, fiery hair before tugging her in.

“you couldn’t use any extra exhausting, could you?” 

your voice was lightly taunting with a gentle pout to your lips, down to your working fingers that teasingly trace her open collarbone, thanks to grell’s classy striped blouse.

the reapers green eyes sparkle with delight before looking around in a tiny excited panic.

“i could certainly use a change of pace…”

before you two knew it, you were straddling grell in her chair, your hands roaming freely against her chest. you could feel grell's breath hitch as you settled yourself on her lap, her crimson painted nails digging lightly into the fabric of your clothes.

you leaned in close, your lips brushing against her ear. "let's see if i can help with that exhaustion," you whispered, your hand slipping down to unbutton her trousers.

grell's eyes fluttered shut, her body trembling with anticipation as your hand found its way to her already stiffened cock. "darling..." she breathed, her voice a mix of desire and desperation.

you began to stroke her slowly, savoring the way her body reacted to your touch. her hips bucked against your hand, seeking more friction. "so needy, grell," you teased, a smirk playing on your lips.

her response was a low, throaty moan as you increased your pace, her grip on your waist tightening. you could feel her getting closer, her breath coming in ragged gasps. her teeth sink down on your neck, initiating a sharp stinging sensation that made you cry out in a miserable attempt to be quiet. just when she was on the brink, you slowed down, drawing a frustrated muffled whine from her.

"patience, love," you cooed, your fingers now tracing her collarbone and slipping beneath her blouse to tease her pretty pink nipples. grell withdrew her mouth from you, proudly tasting a hint of your blood from that harsh bite.

"please," she begged, her voice cracking slightly.

you couldn't resist any longer. standing up briefly, you lowered tugged down her panties lightly. you straddled her again, guiding her inside your cunt with a slow, deliberate movement that had you both groaning in unison.

as you settled into a steady rhythm, you leaned back, allowing your fingers to play with her nipples. grell's head lolled back against the chair, her hands clutching at your hips as you rode her.

the office was filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, the papers and cinematic records forgotten. you kept your movements slow, savoring every sensation, while your hands continued to tease her sensitive nipples.

"how’s that feel, sweetheart?" you murmured, your voice dripping with tenderness.

"so good," she gasped, her hands gripping your thighs as she tried to maintain control. "don't stop... please..."

you quickened your pace slightly, bouncing on her lap and letting out a couple of squeaks here and then…

“dear… o-oh dear, m’ gonna… ngh! cumming…” grell whines onto your neck, her thighs quivering uncontrollably. “shh, lower it down, baby,” you murmur as you oush her face onto your cleavage to muffle her up.

with a final, deep thrust, you both found release, your bodies trembling together in the aftermath. as you collapsed against her, grell's arms wrapped around you, holding you close.

"you certainly know how to... change the pace," she panted, a satisfied smile on her lips.

you chuckled, pressing a kiss to her lips. "anything for you, darling. now, about that paperwork..."

grell groaned playfully, her head falling back against the chair. "later," she murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. "much later."

. . .

Yay! So were you able to help that anon with his cut off dong, @consult-johnhwatson? Or is that thing free to use as food? Never tried human dick before... 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😂🤣😁☺️😳😉😋🥳👀👉🏻👈🏻

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

Do you have any headcannons for the kind of wired stuff the slender brothers got into as kids/ their sibling dynamic?

Slender Brothers 

None of the brothers liked Splendor after he was born.

In fact, Offender and Trender were always finding unique ways to either hide their baby brother in hopes that Mother would forget about him or, just straight up sell him to people on the street.

Neither of these tactics worked, for obvious reasons.

Splendor was just having a ball the entire time though.

Trender found a way to sew him into a cocoon made of the drapes in the entry hall.

Mother came home and immediately saw this lump running in circles, trying to get out of the curtain, laughing the entire time.

We have confirmed that Splendor has, in fact, eaten dirt as a child.

Probably Offender, too, let's be honest.

Splendor is the youngest sibling, so everyone just low key bullied him.

Still does

But he always found a way to passive-aggressively get them back.

Blackmail, for example.

They always try to get along in front of their mom.

To a, make her happy and b, they know they'll get a smack to the head if they don't stop being fools.

Offender got in a physical fight with Slender in his teenage years because Slender ushered his lady-friend out of the house while Offender was using the bathroom.

Offender got pissed, and his first angsty teenage instinct is to start swinging.

He got a few hits on Slender before he got chucked through the kitchen window.

And Splendor and Trender were just standing there with their fruit loops like: 👁️👄👁️

Slender is petty as hell, so he still holds it against him to this day, which is why they're always a little tense around each other.

AGREED!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍💯😂🤣🤭😁☺️😳👀😉😋👉🏻👈🏻

thoughts on will wood? :3

smash

Trender: Do you remember a “Yousef Toungeri”, Slender?

Slender: Wasn’t that the fellow that gave us a feee fish at the mark every week, growing up?

Trender: No, no! That was Josef!

Slender: Then who’s Yousef Toungeri?

Trender: How the hell should I know, it’s addressed to Splendor!

Slender:

Slender: And why are you reading Splendors mail?

Trender: Because all you got were stinkin’ bills!

Can you please do a head cannon for a s/o who is from Japan and is never really seen without some Green or Bubble tea and also always wears these cute kawwai Japanese clothes.(tbh it'd be cool if they were so pro with using chopsticks). It'd be great if you can do it with Masky, Hoodie, Toby, Jeff and BEN? Would also want them to keep on telling them to try some of the stuff they eat like sushi. Sorry if it's too long it's my first time requesting for Creepypasta headcannons ;w;

They’re all food nerds. 

Masky

Masky likes tea, but he’s more of a coffee kind of guy.

He wouldn’t think anything much of the style, except that if you try to put him in any cute clothing he’ll bite your fingers.

Unless it’s an edgy jacket that makes him look cool.

But he will accept any snacks.

He likes anything spicy, and sweet for that matter.

He’s a slut for Hi-Chews.

Once you introduce him to the candy, he’ll eat one after every cigarette.

If you speak Japanese to him, he’ll literally stare at you for 20 seconds and try to process whatever tf you just said.

This boi loves fish, and loves sushi for that matter.

Has 100% ate a glob of wasabi and proceeded to regret every single one of his life decisions.

But he’ll eat anything with noodles in it.

And Ramen is his favorite go-to.

Hoodie

Hoodie’s chill asf.

He doesn’t watch much anime except for the mainstream ones, and even those he doesn’t watch all the way through.

But he likes Ghibli films.

He absolutely loves Bubble tea, and he loves the bubbles more bc he’s a total slut for anything tapioca.

It’s his favorite pudding flavor.

Put together an outfit for him and he’ll wear the cutest shit.

Pink shirt, white jeans, kawaii uwu hat, just an entire pink aesthetic will be his jam for the entire day.

He likes anything sweet, so he’ll eat any Japanese snacks you throw his way.

He also doesn’t mind sushi, and he loves anything with chicken in it. Especially if it’s spicy.

He’ll eat a full ball of wasabi for 5 bucks.

Toby

He thinks it’s so cool!

He only watches some anime, he’s more into movies bc he has such a short attention span.

Other than that he doesn’t know much about Japanese culture.

Except that’s it’s cute as all heck.

He doesn’t know how to save his money, so he’s always adding stuff to your collection as little presents.

And maybe some things for himself to match.

He loves the candy, though.

And other tasty Japanese snacks.

Pocky and seaweed chips?

Yes please!~

He will love sushi after you introduce it to him!

And he’ll get a hang of chopsticks through his tics.

He likes tea, so he’s willing to make some for the both of you.

Aka failing terribly and having you make it instead.

Or just buy it from a nearby shop.

Jeff

He’ll steal all of your Japanese snacks that you’ve ordered.

And maybe some plushies.

He thinks the pocky game is dumb, but he lowkey wants to play it.

He doesn’t know how to play tho.

And he just wants to kiss you so this dumbass just fucking deepthroats it and CHOKEs.

He doesn’t know how to use chopsticks, and frankly, he’s too stubborn to try.

This heathen watches dubbed anime and if the anime doesn’t have a dub, he isn’t watching it.

He doesn’t like tea, so you don’t have to worry about him drinking any of it.

But he’ll take the ‘bubbles’ out when you’re done, freeze them, and keep them in his pocket to throw them at people.

He’s just an asshole like that.

But he likes all of the Japanese clothes and merch.

But he won’t eat sushi, he doesn’t like fish in general. (Except for basics like crab, lobster and shrimp). And he’ll scream if you offer him fish eggs.

BEN

He’s a McFreakin weeb.

He’s watches way too much anime and eats too many pocky sticks.

His favorite is strawberry and green tea.

So when you come into his life he just has to fangirl about everything you do and own.

He can speak some Japanese, but not a lot.

Everything he’s learned has been from anime.

And hentai

He wears a lot of Japanese clothing too, even if it’s just bs aesthetic stuff that says “Cool guy” in Japanese.

And like, anime action figures and basic merch.

BEN can pretend that he knows what he’s doing with chopsticks.

But he can’t eat stuff like rice or anything small that he has to pick up.

He’s the kind of guy that stabs the piece of meat to eat it with the chopstick.

He’ll take a drink of your bubble tea, find a way to get one of the 'bubbles’ in his mouth and then proceed to spitball it as a very dangerous projectile at your butt.

Also, if you want to piss off Jeff just have a conversation in full Japanese.

More like, you speak all of the Japanese and BEN only knows like 12 full sentences and keeps repeating them in different tones.

Trenderman || Headcanons

Mercury Poisoning + General HC’s

Explanation: So I accidentally did general Trender headcanons instead of Trender x Fashion designer reader headcanons (Yes I’m that ditzy) so I’m just gonna post these here and pretend I meant to XD 

Warnings: Mercury poisoning, family’s reaction to horrible illness, mouth sores, anxiety, hand/head tremors, memories, insomnia (All the aforementioned triggers stop being an issue after you see this ~*~ signal. After that, its just random general HC’s ^^) 

~~~

HE HAS HAD MERCURY POISONING BEFORE! Oh boy, I’ve wanted to talk about this in depth for forever but I can never get my thoughts together. The day I manage it, watch out.

Basically, though, Trender is in love with fashion (Obviously). The whole industry, but mostly prac- he loves to design, and create, and be amongst other people who design, and create. So he’s never been a big-wig store CEO or anything. He has always and will always be a worker (Even if he opened up a small boutique or even chain of boutiques. He’d be the manager that’s out with everyone else, on the floor, as often as possible.) and he’s worked far more than his fair share of factories.

Including those factories that used lots of mercury in their felt making. He contracted a terrible case of the ‘mad hatters’ disease through this (Ironically, he literally caught his case during a serious hat phase he was enjoying. Yes, Trender was literally the Mad Hatter.) and since his literal monster of an immune system was about to fight off the disease for a long time (During which time he watched friends and colleagues alike fall to the illness, in total confusion and grief), when he finally started suffering from the symptoms, they were bad. Like, he had one of the worst cases ever.

Splender and Slender took care of him during this time. Offender too, whenever he was in town (And he did visit a lot more often than before) but it’s never been in him to devote himself to others. When he was there, though, he didn’t leave Trenders side. Or, at least, the hallway that his room was on.

His symptoms included:

o   Sores in his mouth that caused a permanent metallic taste, muscle pain. Made even worse by his mania- always wanting to move. And do something. Usually sowing, either by hand or with a machine but he would also suffer outbursts where he would really move, and those are what put his muscles in the most pain.

o   Irritability + lack of patience. Splender was totally patient with him and endlessly kind, of course, but this did cause some nasty, horrible fights with Slender. Slender of course new that it was just the sickness but after a certain point his patience wore totally 2D, plus he was hurting from watching Trender be sick like this and stifling those feelings.

o   Introversion and shyness. He would often hide away in his room / cell cuz of course he wasn’t allowed to go places on his own, or at all to extreme lengths and it got to the point that he would only say 2 words if Splender came in (No one else), if they were lucky.

o   So much anxiety. Splender would do all he could to help him get through it but the attacks lasted days. All they could do was standby, keep his space clean, and continue to empty his vomit bucket.

o   Struggle with focusing on anything. He would keep going, of course, because even terribly ill Trender is determined, but it would get messy.

o   Tremors. In his hands (Which made the cuts he always accidentally gets on his fingers even worse), and his head.

o   Memory loss was one that hit Offender the worst.

o   He would also go days without sleeping. And I’m not gonna lie, Slender did resort to hitting him in the head whenever Splender wasn’t around to just make him get sleep (Cuz the insomnia made everything else 10 times worse).

o   His movements were also all over the place. Jerky.

It last years. At least 2-3 decades.

Wow, I did actually get a bit into this. Oh well. Okay moving on from this sadness.

~*~

If he were to be represented as a planet, he would be Earth.

If they were to be represented as colours, Trender and Slender both would be grey. Because while their brothers are definitely completely different sides of the spectrum, hot and cold (Splender would never do something evil to anyone else and Offender would never do anything good for anyone but himself), Trender and Slender are different kinds of mixed. Slender leans heavily towards black and Trender leans heavily towards white, but they would both do things that counteract what they try to be.

He really hates when people try to define him. He’s not just the ‘fashion’ brother. He’s so much more; He’s Trender. Stop trying to stick him in a box he just doesn’t fit. It hurts, and its frustrating.

He is a self-sacrificing shit. I mean, at least Splender will keep himself safe in a dangerous situation because knows people need him- it would take Trender exactly 2 seconds to throw himself between a random stranger and a car, or cockily dare someone to shoot him whether he knows for sure that they wont or not if it means he could possibly psych them out or distract them so someone else can escape.

He’s also a, uh *Cough* Icarus-Type. He’s willing to risk the danger if it means he’ll fly. In other words, man is a DAREDEVIL.

He can take a mighty beating. Like, have you ever seen Alfred Pennyworth in Fox’s Gotham? Trender’s fighting style, attitude, and philosophy is exactly like that. He has a really good technique and he’ not afraid to fight, at all, but if he knows someone is stronger then him then he’s not at all afraid of outlasting them, either.

He’s a city boy at heart, but do not get him wrong- he’s a rural man at his roots.

Once, Slender was being his dickface self so Trender went under protest. He said, he would not leave the Slender’s toilet until Slender agreed to apologise to Splender and mean it (And *cough* make them dinner). And since Slender refuses to toilet outside or on any toilet other then his own (how unsanitary), it worked. Slender did try to just go in and do his business whether Trender was there or not but Trender anticipated this and had sat himself, draws down on the toilet, so Slender came in, saw, and immediately left again with a strangled scream.

Offender snickers. “Hey Trender, you remember that time you held Slender’s toilet hostage and then whipped your dick out when you weren’t getting what you wanted from him?” “Offender that’s not what happened, but… yes.” Slender, across the room, shakes himself to be rid of that particular horrifying memory that his dear big brother bestowed upon him. “Mmmeurrrg- “ “And I’d DO IT AGAIN, SO SHUT UP SLENDER.”

Imagine request: Jeff and Toby finding out and taking care of their pregnant S/O? Would they want to keep the child or adoption? Thank you!!

Jeff faces a moral dilemma and Toby is excited for fatherhood.

Jeff

Oh, no.

Noononono.

Jeff doesn’t want kids, probably ever.

He hates the little gremlins and will go out of his way to scare them.

He does have a small soft spot for them if they don’t run away screaming.

But he wouldn’t want a kid of his own, just for them to turn out like him in the future.

He’ll make it clear to his s/o that he won’t be able to commit to raising a kid.

But he’ll do what he can in the meantime to make it up to them.

Because it’s kind of his fault in the first place y'know.

He’ll do what he can, and he’ll go out of his way to satisfy her weird cravings for now.

He’ll try to be sympathetic for once, but he’ll be on edge for the next 9 months with the weight of giving up his own blood to someone else.

Try not to ask too much of him, he can get a little rough-edged when facing stress like this and he’ll say things he doesn’t really mean.

He’ll mostly stay to himself in a mental debate if he really wants to give up the kid or not.

He’ll be so wound up in himself, he’ll forget to cater to his pregnant so, and will become aggravated if they ask for something.

Toby

Toby has ALWAYS wanted a family.

He’s always wanted to capture a little bit of normalness through his conditions.

The thought of a perfect family, a perfect job, perfect life was always ideal to him. He’s always found himself daydreaming about it on frequent occasions.

So when he hears his s/o is pregnant he’s ecstatic.

And constantly asks if you’re being serious.

“AaAaAAA Oh My GOd-, wait for real?”

“Yes.”

“AahaHHHh-”

Toby will 100% want to keep the child.

He’s not going to be the most cautious of fathers, but he’ll always love and cherish his kid.

Toby never had a great father growing up, so he wants his kid to experience that.

The only downside is that instead of saying you’re pregnant, he calls it “baking” or “cooking”.

So, while the baby is cooking, he’ll pamper and spoil you.

He’ll buy you all of this pregnant stuff he saw on amazon and weird ads that follow him around the internet.

When you’re asleep, he’ll lay his head on your tummy and whisper to the baby.

But he’ll end up waking you up because he gets too touchy with your preggo tummy.

He’ll do his best to satisfy your weird cravings in the middle of the night, and hope that his child won’t have the same tastebuds as his s/o.