Somethingthatisntalreadytaken - Tryin My Best

nun: amen

man: not all amen

Me, just discovering a new ship: Meh, not all that great Me, after reading its fanfiction for 20 min: OH MY GOD THESE TWO JESUS!!!!! OTP!!!!!

When Stan Lee dies, all the Marvel movie characters should mention they have funerals to attend for their postman/doorman/friend/stripclub DJ and then be very confused when they all show up at the same one.

you’ve heard of the swear jar 

now get ready for the sin tin

I wonder how well I could do if I managed my time wisely instead of eating cheese its all day. The world may never know.

right hand man

Aaron Burr: I'd like to apply for the position. Can I give you my phone number?

George Washington: *visibly texting* I don't have a phone.

You go girl!

I'm so proud of myself.

It only took me 20 minutes and a Google search to figure out how to post on mobile

Everyone has that nice story their parents would tell them of how they were made. Like the stork brought them, or the parents wished with all their hearts to have a child. For the first 6 years of my life, my parents used to tell me that I was a monkey they stole from the zoo whose tail they cut off.