Yeehaw, Indeed...

Burn...

[ Maccready disliked that ]

Probably one of my favorite random things about LotR is the fact that

a) Pippin did a Gollum impression in the books

b) Pippin had never MET Gollum before that point and never would

c) yet it was an ACCURATE impression, as it startled and was recognized by the orc he was speaking to

d) the only possible explanation for Pippin Took’s accurate Gollum impression is this: Bilbo, while telling stories to the eager children, must have imitated Gollum perfectly

Hey, this’s a little random, but I’m rewatching LOKI and had a thought. What could Mobius have possibly done to become a Variant? Single dad of two boys who sold rec vehicles?

But then, I started thinking about his character. How patient, but firm he is. His good advice and who his wife might’ve been, right? He lived in the suburbs with his boys and based on his age (we’ll say roughly 40 something?)

And who else is around that age, living alone with a boy in need of a paternal figure?

What if his wife was May Parker? What if Mobius is a variant of Uncle Ben, if he and May had been able to have kids of their own and left New York to raise their boys in the burbs before Peter Parker was orphaned? Too far to be able to take him or maybe May died shortly before and he didn’t think he could handle a 3rd kid…?

That’s certainly something that would’ve broken the “canon,” especially if moving away inadvertently caused May to die somehow (ex: car accident or something), right? Great advice, positive teaching style, quick to bond with tricky/witty vigilante types?

This’s probably been done a hundred times already on this site, but it’s just a thought I had.

Just picturing something like:

Ben getting the call that his brother and sister-in-law are dead. He’s had to make the hardest decision of his life, but for the good of his boys and Peter, he thinks he made the right one. He’s not a rich man. The house already has two mortgages, the dealership is barely getting by as it is. Looks down at his wedding ring on a chain around his neck, thinking there was no possible way he could do it on his own and then? He sets the phone back on the hook and there’s TVA agents in his living room. Placing a reset charge on his coffee table and demanding he come with them for judgement.

For costing his universe the creation of an anchor being, like Spider-Man.

Also, could you imagine Loki trying to help Mobius save a version of his universe by raising Peter Parker together in a universe where both Ben and May died (like how Miguel tried to replace Gaby’s dad, except actually helpful?) Showing up to PTA meetings, just Ben Parker and his new very tall, elegantly goth, vaguely European husband?

Loki becomes PTA President, of course. Makes his own presidential sash. Mobius gets way too hyped about bake sales/food drives/blood drives/toys for tots. Loki judging the science fair. Showing up to debate club contests to cheer way too loud. Both of them having to act surprised when Peter starts sneaking in late until it finally comes out and they have to be like “Ooooh, nooo! We’re floored! Totally stunned! Hoooowww could we have missed this?!”

Then, Loki helps him make a real suit, because “no child of his is going be a vigilante AND a fashion disaster.”

Loki eventually coming out as a Frost Giant to make Peter feel less like a freak in some teary-eyed heart to heart about how difficult it is to let “normal” people close to them.

Just saving the world by being embarrassing, loving father figures together in the sort of open, honest family that Loki’s always wanted (cue his angst about immortality).

good morning how do i kill the yearning before it kills me

Hello, it's Christmas!

The day my mother expects us (her 20yr old range offspring) to wake up with the energy of when we were five!

Instead, we walk out of our collective rooms, cracking knees/ankles/wrists/fingers/toes/etc. And when we all give a collective "What?" at her dirty look, she chose to reply today with "You're all fucking crunchy, get younger!" before I walk out with a face mask on, my phone in one hand and a bag of jerky in the other to counter with "I identify as an 84 yr old man *cracks my neck like a clap of thunder from Thor himself* what do you mean?" directly before stuffing my mouth with beef jerky...

What a wonderful time of year...

When you’re trying to figure out how to fart silently in public

What’s the story behind this screencap? Reblog with your #screencaptions and we’ll be sharing them as we venture through the Fold to the Shadow & Bone premiere day on April 23rd. 

Scratch that, Dani’s a lying hoe

So, I’m really late to the party on this one...

Turns out, through all this time that I’ve been putting off my writing, because I was unable to properly envision my OC’s appearances in my head, I never knew about a little website by the name of picrew.me. It has changed the game...

What the hell, right? I just went on TikTok today and saw people posting with the available character creators and I felt like an idiot for two reasons:

Because I’m a writer, not an artist. I’m too impatient to sit for that long to draw out as many characters as I need to for my main original novels or the occasional fan fiction I write to test out new OC’s personalities.

Because I grew up playing “dress-up” games like every other member of my 2000’s baby generation (I’m 20) and I never for a moment thought of trying to find a program that might be able to do my art for me for free (not that I don’t support people going to freelance artists, I intend to seek one out for book covers soon, but I just lack the budget to get portraits done for the number of characters I have).

So, what the hell is wrong with me, right?

I’ve been wasting all of this time struggling with what I couldn’t see and now...? I’m writing more than ever and I’m not confused! It’s a huge weight off my shoulders and I finally intend to share a few of my creations to show off some of the different art styles offered by the selection of character customization programs...

My first example is Persephone from my latest endeavor into writing an X-Men story.

She’s a young mutant who was born into a Jewish family with the power to control and manipulate plant life. However, this ability didn’t develop until she turned ten and ran away from the hand of a violent father and straight into the care of a marooned alien. One we all know and love, Groot who crash landed on Earth (an event that will eventually lead him to Rocket in the years to come, but for now this moment is set before X-Men: Days of Future Past. Before Magneto’s speech is given on tv and life changes for mutants forever).

With the help of her mutation, she’s able to hide Groot’s true identity as an extraterrestrial. Claiming upon her arrival to Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters that she made him by accident when her mutant-phobic father raised a bat in hand to kill the "abomination" he'd brought into the world. Not that it was entirely a lie, she could replenish and understand him through her abilities. And we all know how protective our beloved seven foot tall tree monster can be of small, mostly defenseless, screaming creatures.

As for the details of her abilities, they follow thusly:

Her canine teeth are elongated and incredibly strong along with the rest of her chompers as her mutation affects her metabolism and she needs to eat a large amount of heavy protein to maintain her strength, meaning beef, chicken, eggs, fish, etc. She identifies as a carnivore, because eating uncooked veggies can get a little awkward when she can hear the cherry tomatoes in her salad talking. Asking not to be eaten. As a result, she takes classes and puts herself in charge of planning meals/grocery shopping for the team. She’d rather die than eat unseasoned food.

Her hair grows like a weed and resembles the color to boot. Flowing in lengths of green, but it changes with the seasons. Going from lime green in the spring, to emerald in the summer, red, yellow and chestnut in the fall and in the winter...seasonal depression kicks in with a force to turn her flowing tresses black as potting soil. This however can be treated with her depression through the use of stimulants, mood stabilizers and a cubic butt-load of coffee, because just like pine trees, her internal biome loves acidic foods.

Though, because of its composition and advanced growth rate, she keeps her hair teased neatly into locs and can be often found preening herself whenever she’s not grooming every last sprout and bud in the Manor’s greenhouse where she lives with Groot to keep him company. And depending on her mood, her hair can sprout flowers based on whatever she’s feeling. Anger will sprout a crown of thorns, heartbreak grows anemones and intense love could cause whole bushels of forget-me-nots to bloom in their mesmerizing blues and violets.

And who do they bloom for? For the very first time after years of attending Xavier’s school? After being kidnapped by and defeating Apocalypse? Saving Warren/Angel’s life...? Why of course it would be one Mr. Kurt Wagner, fresh out of the circus who would take one look at her green hair with freckled, clay-colored and his blue features would go straight to purple after the fight in realizing that he wasn’t alone. There were other mutants out there in the world who looked different and Percy...? She was nothing short of her namesake. A true Spring goddess who melted the moment he wandered lost into her green house and wasn’t afraid of Groot. Even after the giant tree tossed the boy across the room like a rag doll, thinking he was attempting to sneak up on his little green-thumbed friend...

Needless to say, they would hit it off, despite a few trials given the disapproval of her new best friend, Warren who was still bitter about Kurt accidentally burning his wings during the cage fight. Though, with the new, fluffy white ones that Percy would help him grow with a special herbal brew...? After the X-Men agreed to take him in an hide him from his family...? He really had no right to complain...

And you never know...maybe one day because of them, a new generation of X-Men might come into the world...

I was able to come up with all of this story because of Picrew, so if you’re struggling like I often do, why not give it a try? It’s totally free and even fun if that’s your sorta thing. So, feel free to let me know if any of you want me to show off anymore of my OC’s sometime. I’d be happy to oblige...

I agree, god damn it!

*Veilguard Thought*

So, not really a spoiler. More of a headcannon related to a banter. Lucanis tells Taash he has a pet snake. One that, one would assume, was kept by the Crows while he was trapped in the Ossuary.

No idea what kind, but did he bring it with him to the Lighthouse?

And if so, does it live in Harding’s greenhouse???

Cause she’s the only other dedicated Rogue (Belara is a mage who happens to use a bow) and she’s used to animals, right? I just picture her working in there at the beginning, pulling out all the dead stuff/planting new sprouts and a little corn or king snake just slithers up and she has a heart attack, cause she doesn’t know it’s a real (because they’re in the Fade).

And Lucanis (freshly recruited and very tired) just spends the next several days apologizing, cause it’s the only place warm enough and he can’t rightly keep it in the pantry with him. So, they end up compromising.

He buys a tank for her to put the snake in at night and she lets it wander the garden during the day to eat bugs and mice that might wanna nibble on her plants.