Howdy Hey!

"Because fuck you."

Lost'Shine(Misha) walking into the League HQ with Cambion(aka Kiva who no one has met yet): "Hey, guys, this is my apprentice, Cambion. She's half demon and the light of my life. We cool? Cool." Sits down next to John, with Cambion sitting next to her.

Superman: "uh... aren't you an apprentice?

Lost'Shine, nodding: "Yeah, I'm John's apprentice."

John Constantine: "I prefer the term roommate."

Black Canary: "Can she have an apprentice as an apprentice?"

Green Arrow: "Surely not. I mean, c'mon."

Lost'Shine: "Hey, fuck you, I looked through the rules, I did the paperwork, got it submitted and everything. Nowhere did it say I couldn't have an apprentice."

Wonder Woman: "Bruce, did she?"

Batman: "Yeah, she technically is correct, she did go through all the proper protocols."

Flash: "Okay, but why?"

Lost'Shine, nudging Cambion: "Say what I taught you."

Cambion, super excitedly: "Because fuck you!"

allow me to better this by saying even when Damian(the youngest and has a clear height difference with Bruce) does it, no one notices.

i've just decided you're all wrong and the actual funniest scenario of the league not knowing bruce has kids until they take his place as batman during league meetings is the scenario where bruce never even asked them to pretend to be batman.

when he can't make an important meeting he sends either jason or dick in his place just as themselves, because if he can vouch for them as proxys then why would the league have an issue with it? they just need to show up and say they're there to take notes for batman or something, there's no need to lie. he doesn't even realise that his identity is being stolen until he shows up after a meeting he sent a sub in for and when he shows up everyone is staring at him awkwardly.

batman: what's everybody looking at

green lantern: nothing! we're just... concerned.

flash: yeah... how was your surgery?

batman:

batman: what surgery

green lantern: ...well you ran out of the meeting last week yelling about how you were going to be late for your 'piles removal operation'

green lantern: so uh. how'd it go big guy?

batman:

batman: i wasn't here last week. jason was.

the league:

flash: who the fucks jason

batman:

batman: *slowly turns to superman, who is staring at the table stubbornly*

batman: clark-

superman: THE KIDS SEEMED SO EXCITED TO DRESS UP, I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE BORING UNCLE AND SAY NO!

bruce ends up calling jason in front of the league to demand an explanation and clear his name. jason straight up doesn't even remember what he did.

jason, on call: oh hey B, thought you were at a JL meeting this afternoon?

bruce: i am. what happened last week?

jason: i sent tim the report to hand over already! i didn't get all of it though, i had to leave real quick towards the end because damian was threatening to set my safe house on fire if i didn't pick him up from school

bruce: and the league let you go early?

jason: yeah i made some excuse, i think i said-

jason: *pauses, remembering what he'd done*

jason: oh my god

bruce lays his head on the table while jason laughs through the loud speaker for the next eight minutes.

lol, help

y'all, I need someone to point me in the direction of a Batfamily ask blog or a Bruce Wayne ask blog.

Why?

Because one of my cat's, Dasher, middle names is Wayne, and I want to say I personally know a member of the Wayne family. Pls help.

Here is da boy

my intrusive thoughts be like this tho.

Yes Batman bite the super strong alien assert your dominance >:o

PSA!

I will explain when I return from school at around 2:45, but it is my belief that even though the Nightmare Critters are a bit of .. walking red flags in certain ways.

They would be FIERCELY loyal to each other.

I shall explain later

Y'all, my cat keeps licking my feet. Wtf do I do?

(please pretend this is coming from my OC Misha, I can't get her blog working rn)

Wanna talk villains? My dead big sis had a kid with Bane. Her name is Katherine, I visit every weekend. Nine months in my sister's womb and this baby came out exactly like her daddy.

might start my villain arc this soon gang

Finished Artwork

Supposed to be John Constantine giving Misha a haircut. Would've been about a week after she moved in with him. She wanted to cut what she felt was the last ties to a super bad situation, by changing one of the things she used to never be able to, her hair. Of course, he doesn't know the full extent of her past(not the whole compound in Estonia, raised to never expect to live the next day thing), just that she escaped a bad situation and wanted to change her look.For John, it's just his new roommate asking for help. For Misha, it's a big step in her life, her gaining her freedom and proving she's not a puppet on a string anymore. She doesn't have to live by Mother Veronica's rules anymore. She can be herself. She can be free. And she can trust others to help her when she can't do something herself.And to her, that's good enough. ❤️

Also, fun facts about Misha

The first few months after moving in with John when she was still 17(so before he introduced her to the others), Misha would stay up a bit after he fell asleep (usually on the couch while they were watching TV) just to watch him breathe to reassure herself she was safe and that he wasn't going to be gone by morning (like what happened to most people she knew in the compound) and half the time, John wouldn't actually be asleep and would wait for her to be asleep to ruffle her hair and whisper "you're gonna be okay". He didn't know her past not why she seemed so anxious all the time, but knew she was scared of something, so he helped. (He did have an inkling it was something to do with a death of some sort. So, he wasn't too far off.)

Misha always knew Mother Veronica was full of shit when she kept telling Misha and all the other girls that she was their real mom. This was because Misha was slightly older(almost two) when she was kidnapped, unlike the others who were all a year old or younger. She could, albeit very vaguely, remember her birth mom.

Misha was the only one of the girls who ever knew Darlene masqueraded as Claws, and never told anyone. When she saw the memorial the Justice League has for Claws, she was seething because they wrote 'Always loved' and in her mind, they didn't know her older sister like she did, how could they write she was loved if they didn't even know her name?

Misha, by birth, is a citizen of Gotham, and technically was never a citizen of Estonia(since the government has no idea of the compound there), but grew up only in Estonia and speaks their language more fluently then English. She also never knew the word for Dad in any language (since she was basically raised in a kidnap cult version of Themyscira). So, after a while of being around John, sometime after she turned 19, but before she developed her Lost'Shine alias, she started calling him 'ema' which means Mom in Estonian. He has no idea what it means, he just thinks it probably means 'drunkard' or 'smoker' or something that he thinks she'd call him.

Her favorite heroine is also Black Canary and she secretly has a plushie of her. But she will deny it if you ask.

hear me out, hear me out. It wasn't stated in the post, but House absolutely knows Bruce is Batman

He was never told either. Just took one look when they were in private and said "so, Batman, what happened this time?"

Bruce does not know how he did it.

i need Dr. House to be Batman's temporary doctor for a month while Dr. Leslie Tompkins is recovering from some sort of rogue activity.

completely agree unless that ship is !nc3st. Otherwise, I wouldn't say harass but I would say it is slightly less okay.

a handy guide to shipping