This Blog Is Now Apparently Dedicated To Enemies To Lovers Connoisseur-ing. I Mean I'm Not Complaining

I'm so pissed right now and I need to rant, so I was reading this book I've been wanting to read forever and It was pretty good and it was enemies to lovers, but just they fell for each other in TWO freaking days! Two gays! whit only minimal dry ass conversations, like after both of them were planning to kill each other!

Instalove is already bad enough but in enemies to lovers! Um excuse me, but no! Like that's literally like the antithesis of everything it is! We don't read enemies to lovers for the ending, we read it for the conflict, the journey, the internal struggle to grapple with someone you hate turning out to be someone you can't hate, someone you literally have to love, that's not a one day process that's being proven they're not what you thought they were over and over until you cannot ignore it, no matter how hard you try to! That is what it's about.

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Sometimes a person tries to confess their love for their enemy and comes up with profound shit like, "Because I'd find you even if this entire divided world worked together for once just to tear us apart, your soul and mine are made of the same stuff, and we'll have to change atom to atom to be anything other than each others. Because even if you tired to stab me it'll only work to cut of some ancient infected wound, because you'll always be my savior, even if you try to hurt me"

Other times they say shit like, "Because maybe I like your stupid face."

"Remember when I said I would rather cut of my own lips than kiss you?Yeah, I might have been a little wrong."

"Maybe I don't hate being around you when you're not trying to kill me."

Wow, the first confession turned out pretty good. I'm trying to reach 500 follows pls halp

The "Hero finds out they are working for the currupt/evil side and the villian is actually the good guy" literally never had a bad track.

Angsty "And who decided I'm the bad guy? My enemies." SLAPS, extended " I'm no expert but that might be a bit biased." ROCKS

The hero now having to work with the villian. YES. Getting a bastard-isation arc cause "they are my family." It got better. Long drawn story filled with side switching and double-crossing, TEN season/book material right there m'lord.

The AGGRESSIVELY UNDERLYING message of, overthrow your local currupt government today. Gets me every time!!!

Hero gets a hold of villains blueprints/plans. BUT the hero is a huge nerd and the villains plan is full of mistakes.

"Are you kidding me?! The estimation of *scientific jargon* is so *scientific jargon* it's gonna vapourise... But, but if we change this variable then *scientific jargon* it can work— I mean not, I uh mean ah your plan is correct. You should ah totally go through with it.

All that blood was never pretty,

But they did so love the sound of warhorns,

Perhaps they went into every battlefield thinking,

This time it'll be rubies instead.

I was made from mismatched pieces,

God's leftovers,

A warrior's heart,

And a dreamer's mind

And a gentle soul

And a chaotic existence.

Then they shoved me in this tiny little useless body, and sent me into battle.

Without ever teaching me to fight,

Or bothering with armour.

—I was never meant to survive, was I?

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When the sunshine one has been pushed too far and all of a sudden their smile just dRops and is replaced by a face completely devoid of expression, that even the scary people shudder, no-one can read anything on their face except their eyes are very very angry, and everyone just feels a collective we done effed up.

aNd it's because everyone was being too nihilist around them and they got tired of being the only one who cared about the human cost of every single person and trying to vye for them nicely, everyone has to listen as they speak quietly, their voice rising until they're shouting "What do you mean it's worth the price! They never agreed to be sacrificed in a game they don't even know about! I don't care about the bigger picture if it means sacrificing innocents for a plan that might not even work. Either we find another way or we don't do it at all, but we are not doing this, it's final! "

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Enemies to lovers combat things I will give up my mother's first born for— I'm an only child btw

Swordfight interactions when one of them is gaining and the swords are at the other's shoulder and their faces are too close

ESPECIALLY, if the other flirts or kisses the other to distract them

Any type of flirtation intended as a distraction for that matter

When one gets both swords and pins the other between a wall and them with a sword embedded on either side of them like giant thumb tacks

A Bending way too low to avoid an attack and being caught just as their balance fails them

B pulling A's hand hard after and A is flung at B's chest

Abruptly pushing them back after that cause why not (they were flustered and have no social skills)

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The pushing them away was designed to be such a can't go wrong with it trope it's honestly impressive how wrong twilight managed to go with it.

The 'im afraid whatever I can give them is just a cheap imitation of love and they deserve so much better than that' SLAps

The 'my entire life is walking on eggshells and they should get to live their lives to the fullest'

The screaming confessions in the rain like 'if you really love me you should know that being with you is what I want and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to do that,' ahHh

It's meant to show how deeply they care about each other and how much they're willing to sacrifice for each other but Hollywood really went no, commitment issues haha

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"I'm only fighting these (Eldritche horror levels of danger) for you because I want to kill you myself. Don't think I'm trying to save you or care about you or anything. I totally totally don't." —the enemies to lovers dynamic we all love to see.

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