Personal Rant - Blog Posts

I don't understand why people are so scared I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, I'm fine being alone and on my own. I like being alone with myself I don't have to put on a mask and act like a 'normal' person. I can do what I want whenever, I can buy stuff if I want (on a budget of course) I can clean and have the lights off whenever I want. Have my own schedule of life and I don't have to interact with people. It seems all lovely to me, how can a person hate being alone?

-🦋

This is the first and last time I'm going to talk about this, so listen, I'm not going to talk about anything concerning political reasons, except the Dana in Valencia because I needed to help spread the information for all the Spanish people I could, is it selfish, probably, do I give a fuck, no, it's my blog and I'm going to talk about whatever makes me confortable, the point of this is for people stop sending me gaza and other catastrophe related asks, I'm not going to answer them, they make me uncomfortable because I can't donate to go fund me, I help in other ways, like in campaigns of food/clothes... Where I actually donate the things they ask for. It's good that we help each other, but I'm centering in my country and my mental health, because that is also important.

And remember, it's your blog, talk about whatever you are comfortable without having to take any side, your ideals and your online persona doesn't have to be on display 24/7.

And for the people that might tell me that in with Israel or Rusia no I'm not, I'm with Palestine and Ukraine, I just hate talking about wars and the climax of insecurities is causing, I already talk a lot about it in my real life that I don't want my online persona to also be dominated by it.

👆🏻Here is where I share random things

🔹Here 👉🏻@alienishenart is where I post my art (mostly fanarts)

I’m gonna reblog my art here

Rant time

I fucking hate this class bro.. I have no one to talk about what’s going on the class.. it’s all shit my parents don’t agree with. But I love the class Yk? Like I hate that I have no one to talk to but I love what I’m learning. I love that I’m learning about me. About people going through the same things as me. And I knew from the get-go that this was gonna be a class I had to do on my own but it would be nice to talk to my mom or dad about it. I wish I could go them with questions. With getting help writing and finishing projects. But alas. I cannot.. anyways. My mad chat I’m just frustrated.

In a video essay about home improvement channels and TV shows (the concept of the video essay was about how people recently have trended to decorate and make style choices for their homes based on potential resale value rather than their own personal style preferences) I was introduced to a British tv show (big dreams small spaces) focused on garden improvement and unlike their American renovation show counterparts this show was mainly focused on what the personal style choices and desires of the person's the episode is about.

This show is hosted by Monty Don. I like his attitude towards style preferences that I myself want to emulate and embrace. In an episode, a lady asks about him if he likes her choice of flower for her garden or if he thinks another flower looks better there and he responded with (roughly quoting) " I might think that another flower would look better there but this is not my garden it's your garden" This sentiment I myself want to emulate in my future career in architecture for my clients, to (mostly) set aside my own design choices and help them embrace and bring to life their visions.

I would also like to embrace these ideals in my own life in in my own style choices, I want to make style choices without caring too much about 'resale value' or what other people think. In my personal life I wish to have the confidence, courage, and overall gumption to make bold choices that make me an individual.

A lot of ideas come from and were inspired by the YouTube video

'Why Home Improvement Shows Feel Icky' by Kendra Gaylord

While I was walking to class I was listening to this video and I was imagining a fake presentation I could give to my professor based on ideas I got from the video so I wrote them down.

Lil rant incoming 🙏🙏

Chat I finally found out where I can watch dr who and noe I'm hyperfixating on it again Im doomed and especially so BECAUSE FUCKING ABC IVIEW ONLY HAS SERIESES 2,5,6 AND 7???? JUST FUCKING DECIDED TI SKIP 1 3 AND 4 AND ANY MORE THAT MAY BE AFTER THAT BECAUSE I CANT FUCKING REMEMBER HOW MANY SERIESES THERE ARE

TW: random rant (ventish)

Recently, I had a talk with 2 of my best friends, (R and C) and we had a detailed, serious discussion about a topic that had come up through a mutual... It did happen to be true, and I have come forward and offered my hand to help R alongside C. So, here I am, staying up all night so my sleep schedule can align with them, that way if there is an emergency, because I am the most flexible and free person, R (or C) can call me at night. C, of course, is the day time caller.

I just kinda needed to get this out of my system, R has been going through a lot of high stress lately and it is in her best interest to listen to our advice. Our other friend, S, has been ruining her closets friendships by cutting contact with everyone but family and lying about how she communicates- such as, her phone being restarted but we have seen her active on multiple social medias -and we aren't sure we can fully trust her with the new information about R's situation, but most of the cut contact was due to the current state of her sister and her new nephew.

C on the other hand, has been doing so well, her relationship is good, she is proceeding smoothly in her fighting classes, and just last night, called me as soon as she got home to tell me she was being asked to choreograph a (soon to be pitched) Disney movie with her instructor.

That alone, is big and I am so happy she will be taking part in this, as well as being featured in a future movie if Disney proceeds, but what stuck out to me was that as soon as she got home, she called ME!! She has never done that before, because normally she'd go to S, but because S has cut contact with her best friends, including C (bsf of 10 yrs) they aren't in the best terms, still, it meant so much to me that she called me out of everyone.

I am beyond proud of C for taking on this role with confidence, I am ready to stand firm beside R to offer help with the new possibilities that are being forced onto her, and I will support S in any way if she needs it while she takes care of her family.

I have offered my house as a safe space for all 3 of these people, and they know they can come to me for anything, relationship wise, comfort wise or just to hang out. I really truly hope I never lose these girls.

Y'all ever have one of those 9/11 to 50 shades of gray butterfly effect days? Like where one little thing ruins your entire day in two hours 💀 like I love my family and friends but I may become a felon if they don't start acting civilized.

AI rant ???

Obviously the age we are alive and able to live in now is amazing, we have so much access to information and connection to others, but anything concerning or connected to the humanities (social, language, etc.) is something that as a society is slowly being removed from the hands of people and being replaced by AI.

As someone who does art (in school and out) it’s annoying to always have to prove that the art you made is yours and not AI. Or the fact that my art teacher last semester used AI to give the class feedback on some of our projects, like what the freak, as a traditional artist is this not something you should be against????

My social studies teacher was more concerned about us using it than the art teacher, and my ELA teacher (who also teaches social studies) brings up how some AI sites are censoring a lot more than others, in connection to certain events in countries like China (Tiananem Square) were when you ask about the event nothing about it comes up, whatsoever.

And the amount of AI being used to post news articles, or using the generative AI on google to get references and information, just put in some work and find the information yourself it will be worth it in the end because you’ll have a deeper understanding of the topic.

What’s worse (it’s not it’s just annoying) is it being used for art and books like wtf bro, those are something used as a creative outlet if you can’t do it yourself have someone do it with you, learn to do it, or don’t do it at all.

This is what started the rant ?? I guess

a rant made of absolute nonsense that absolutely ZERO people would ever care about is incoming eventually. i have very strong feelings about a specific character/property and care so very much about how said character/property is portrayed. i have a list of acceptable adaptations/interpretations of the character and a list of complete garbage that should never have been created let alone made a profit. all of my qualifications for either. placement is incredibly arbitrary. you WILL get the long post once i can wrap my head around exactly why the character is so fucking good but in english words and not just the visual of her spinning very rapidly in my mind in various pretty outfits

unpopular opinion

I WANT THIS FUCKER DEAD

HE'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING I JUST WANNA STRANGLE HIM HE ADDS NOTHING TO ANYTHING I FIND GENUINE ENJOYMENT WATCHING THIS FUCKER BURN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I HATE HIM SO MUCH LOOK AT HIS STUPID FACE

HE'S SO RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HE'S SO STUPID I JUST WANNA PUNT HIM TO THE SUN SO BADLY SEDLO;GHFSALIJKGAKDRGHZJKDUFHGLJKDZXFGLKJSDZG

Thank you for your time :)

the idea and concept of nakayama and his ships—where did they come from?

the idea for nakayama originated from my jujitsu kaisen interest i’m pretty sure? i mainly based him off of choso (but with religious trauma) (hence his ability, lapvona, which allows him to manipulate blood in any form unlike nathaniel’s which is more controlled) and when my friend reese brought up dazai once i was like “oh, maybe they should be friends!” and that’s one of the first ships i made.

i think the idea of nakayama x nikolai came to me in a dream, where there was this REALLY cursed fic with the tag “portal fucking”. i don’t know how to feel about that but the premise of the fic was that nakayama met nikolai and they ended up…yeah. hooking up. IM PRETTY SURE ATSUSHI WATCHED TOO???? but the ship is slightly more tame now—despite nakayama considering him “another body to dispose when he’s done with him” or when he’s not of use to him anymore.

i’m pretty sure when i first met poe (or when reese introduced me to him, far before nakayama even existed—i’m pretty sure my first oc was fumiko) i IMMEDIATELY loved him. still do btw but when nakayama came to existence i was like “man. i can’t really ship nakayama with dazai, can i?” so when the idea of nakapoe came to me I RAN FOR THE HILLS WITH THE SHIP IN MY ARMS because MY GOD did i love the idea. i’m pretty sure i built the dynamic in c.ai? i’m not too sure but the dynamic is pretty interesting (because i killed off this character that was poe’s best friend and nakayama reminded him of that friend, his name was river in the sense of “crossing the jordan river” which is a metaphor for death)

i’m pretty sure the idea of shibusawa x nakayama also came to me in a dream? also the whole “shibusawa, am i pretty” and “yes, you look wonderful” made it…considerable? despite that they don’t have many interactions together

Ok I have a rant. So I take anxiety and ADHD medication, I know great combo but the ADHD meds are appetite suppressants I don’t know why but they are and I am use to that I have learned how to eat on them. But when I am anxious I can’t eat but on the anxiety meds I don’t know what I am anxious about so. I will just be chilling and be like “oh I am not hungry ok” and then that continues for a while so I am like “ok what am I anxious about” because I don’t know because of the anxiety meds. So it’s like I have a gun to my brain asking what is going on and it doesn’t know and then there’s my stomach as this weird third party and non of us know what is going on.

Idk what the point of this was.

Remember: Thinking an opinion is bad just because the majority of people believe it is just as fallacious as saying something is bad because a minority of people believe it.

Also, just having an uncommon opinion does not automatically make you a "free thinker", you can still be unwittingly indoctrinated by a small group of people. Look at cults as an example.

I'm mostly talking to right-wingers and TERFS with this one, but it's a good thing for everyone to know.

Chuds on twitter getting mad about Joe Biden stepping down because it "betrays the democratic voters" is a prime example of how reactionary the right is.

Republicans have been degrading, and systematically trying to prevent democrats from voting for YEARS, and now they suddenly care about the rights of democrat voters? I call BS

This is a prime example of moving the goal post. They always have to be mad about something. They can't just let him step down peacefully (as they and everyone else have been pleading him to), it has to be twisted into some moral failing on him and the democrats.

Remember: Never let anybody talk shit about the working class or the poor

Be mindful of anti-proletariat rhetoric.

Don't tolerate bullshit ideas like "unskilled labor", all labor is skilled, and capitalists want you to believe in it so they can justify paying hard working people practically nothing. If someone is giving their time and energy to someone else, they deserve respect no matter what.

Don't tolerate parents teaching their children to look down upon common laborers as "trashy work".

Don't tolerate this idea that poor people are lazy, most are poor for a variety of reasons: poor mental health, no generational wealth, bad investments, drug addiction, disability, unwanted children; but none of them are just laziness. If you know any poor people, you know they bust their ass every day to get a fraction of what their bosses have.

Don't tolerate people who say you should vote for a party that doesn't give a shit about the real workers.

Don't tolerate divisive ideas meant to distract the common man from getting back the surplus value stolen from him.

Don't tolerate propagandic opinion pieces from rich folk who want to keep you ignorant.

Love the working class, and eat the rich!

Capitalism has ruined our basic humanity

The fact that the large majority of people in America look at a homeless person and think "ew, get this trash out of my sight" rather than empathizing, wanting to help that person, and reflecting on the systematic flaws that allow this to happen is a sign that your civilization has fundamentally failed at being civil, and is more comparable to savagery.

Always remember that anyone who owns little to no capital is your ally, not your enemy, and thinking so means you've bought into capitalist propaganda like a sheep.

A question I hear a lot is "why are so many losers defending billionaires online?" and I realized why.

It's not because they think that they will be given money or get noticed, it's because they want to maintain the narrative of capitalism as a pure meritocracy. Capitalist theory tells us that hard work and risk is what will make you rich, and an incongruence between what rich people should be and what they are breaks this. To admit that someone like Elon Musk is an idiot who only got rich off generational wealth is to admit that capitalism is inherently flawed. That's why rich people are placed on this pedestal of perfection where they can do no wrong.

They aren't defending the individuals; they are defending the ideal of capitalism they have been taught all their lives.

A small rant

I hate how right-wingers try to excuse spreading hateful or ignorant ideas as "just a joke" or "I'm just asking questions". Like they somehow think that jokes or questions cannot be rhetorical.

It's like some people think that ideas just don't affect the real world in any tangible form. Like they are just having a purely theoretical conversation that effects nobody at all.

People on the right need to realize that rhetoric is very capable of inspiring violence. Saying shit like "trans people are groomers" is the kind of shit that gets trans people killed.

And public figures who advocate hateful rhetoric will always try to distance themselves from the consequences of their words, saying shit like "I never said I condone violence", even when violence is the natural logical conclusion of their words. Yall cannot act like implying that Jews run the world is not a call to action to commit violence against them, that is pure bullshit.

Conspiracy theory mfs can be some of the most annoying people on planet earth.

The second you point out any flaw in their logic, it's always "your giving into the propaganda man". Or, if you ever call them a insane dumbass, they will always say "wow, my ideas are making you mad, it must be because you know I'm right" thinking they are witty.

I'm not afraid of conspiracies because I don't want to hear the truth, I am afraid of conspiracy theories because they are very much capable of spreading dangerous misinformation as fact and harming people in the process.

I am willing to listen to any ideas, but you can't just present your far-out speculation based on cherrypicked evidence and get mad when people have the nerve to question your ideas.

Anyways, that's my rant. Just decided to blow off some steam because I got into an argument with some right-wingers on reddit who were going off about the "Jewish elite".

A common argument that I hear from conservatives is that "people of the past were not so sensitive like people of today"

Mf people in 1950's America threw a tantrum because someone of a different skin color wanted to drink at the same fountain as them. Don't give me this bs about how people back then "weren't sensitive".

Christianity is actually really cool

I just got done binging Wendigoon's old series on Dante's Divine Comedy, and I have to say, it really gave me an appreciation for just how awesome Christian writings, and by extent the bible really are. It's so hard to appreciate the cool aspects of Christianity these days because so many people in Gen Z associate it with right-wing politics and annoying preachers. It's much easier when you are allowed to take in these ideas without people pressuring you to believe a certain thing about it.

And sure, there are still many ideas I disagree with, but the ideals of virtue in helping others and the way it's explained in the Christian cannon are really inspiring to me. The reputation of Christianity would be so much better with secular people if there were more Christians willing to explain Christianity in a manner that wasn't so pushy and judgmental.

Anyways, I just felt inspired to write this post and put my thoughts out there. Check out Wendigoons videos on Dante's Divine Comedy if you ever get the chance.

Rant about my overconsuption with nail polish below. Read if you dare lol

The struggle of having so much of one thing you love the the point of it overwhelming you to the point of not wanting it anymore is such a bitch. I always get it with my massive nail polish collection. This only started with me becoming a fan of simply nailogical back in middle school. I became such a fan that me and my mom bought many polishes for myself, and then in recent years, she started to buy nail polish for herself too. My collection is so large that it's in or near the hundreds. It's all on these racks my mom bought (she had to buy a second to fit all the polish, and still I have some in extra bins). But now all I can see is the overwhelming amount of nail polish that I own, some drug store/ walmart brand, and some that are expensive, like Holo Taco. I've gotten so much nail polish over the years, some as holiday gifts and others just from passing by them in the store. I had a problem with buying, but now I have a problem with being unable to get rid of it. When I try to paint my nails, the self-doubt of if I'll hate it later latches onto me like a bloodsucking leech. I wish I could get rid of it like old clothes I don't wear but my mom won't let me. I know when I move out, I'm not taking all these nail polishes with me, I just can't. It's all too much, and I execute my solution.

Crying atm for being jealous that my boyfriend has such great friends and hangs out with them and I'm at home being a hermit doomscrolling and i have to be asked to get up from my bed. I need to get a therapist quick.

!!RANT!!

Am i the only one that’s getting tired and annoyed with the show Detective Conan?? Bc it’s been getting on my nerves for like the past few months now, and I’m just so fucking done with it.

1) First of all, the show has been going on for almost 30 years now (keyword almost actually 28 i think) and it’s only been a few months in the series (even tho there are over 1100 episodes which actually means that almost every episode is a day, taking off 2parters and collected episodes, also excluding the movies. Which means it’s technically been around 2 years and/or more)

2) The relationships are starting to get on my nerves as well platonic/romantic and just the complex relationships between side characters and/or Rivals, Like Kaito Kid & Conan. The romantic relationship between Ran and Schinichi is starting to feel absolutely creepy, useless and boring, especially considering Conan is Kinda her brother now, Ran loves Conan as her little brother, while he is technically her boyfriend (see how that is kinda off putting😃)

(i can make an intire post on the Ranshin relationship another time, if people want my opinion)

The characters that suddenly come in and all just start hounding on Conan/Shinichi is also getting really fucking annoying, it’s like it’s starting to turn into a harem but only for… fans…?? Does that make sense? Bc we know Canon is ShinRan but the creator is starting to put A LOT of Coai into the movies and series, and I’m like.. dude… I have no issues with shipping different characters, but that the creator is putting it INTO THE literal anime is kinda annoying, it’s like he’s creating Drama and love triangles on purpose, even tho the anime had NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT??

(Haibara, Sera, Ran, Ayumi and another girl, forgot her name tho. All these characters have interest in schinichi/Coan)

It’s just annoying how Gosho keeps ruining duos and relationships. Like i love the the Kaito kid episodes with Conan, they’re just my favorite, but Gosho pretty much just added Amuro into the loop for no reason?!? Like i just don’t like Amuro (never did, but i didn’t go out of my way to ignore him, he’s important to the story) but adding him into a Rivalry that’s been going on for so long, and has its own special ring to it and special rules between two people with a double life, that only trust each other, when their life depends on it, it just ruined my intire love and experience for the episode.

3)The end?? I literally cannot see a good ending to this show. The only reasonable answer, in my opinion would be: Conan moves back to America and pretty much just loses contact with the others, or he died (doesn’t add up in the end either) and everyone forgets him over time, so schinichi can come back. There literally is no good ending to this show, even if people figured out Conan was schinichi (in fact i think that is the worst ending)

I should probably explain more but I’m kinda in a rush and I’m probably gonna edit this slightly later, but this is already long so if ya have any questions I’ll try to answer and make a post about it, to be more clear

So Google, not just Chrome, but Google itself, hates ad blockers.

I get it, ads make money for way less effort and customer involvement than subscriptions and paywalls.

The problem is, as cybersecurity professionals have said, ads are a security risk for every system they interact with. Even if you don't click any ads ever, they're still a security risk.

How are they a security risk? Because ads are allowed to run code to perform their tasks. This code is supplied by the ad provider, and if all it ever did was provide a link, a hovertext/description for the visually impaired, and maybe a non-gif animation, this would be a non-issue on all but the weakest internet connections.

They are not all like that, though.

Endless cases of ad providers, site providers, even your actual ISP (Internet Service Provider) have been proven to inject arbitrary code, capable of doing a great number of things, into ads, links, images, video, etc.

This code has had scripts to use your computer's processing power to help mine Bitcoin so long as it's on the page the code started on, it's been used to install malware (even by your ISP in one particularly bad case), it's been used to just install viruses or keyloggers or so many more things.

Hell, even the not-malicious code can just bog down your computer by being terribly written messes of badly functioning code, so something that should run with barely any impact instead takes up ridiculous amounts of processing power and capacity.

This is a problem, and it's largely solvable by simply blocking ads. There's no native way to prevent ads from running scripts or code without disabling all JavaScript on every page, which effectively kills most pages you go to since every drop-down menu, every page-altering section (like the Google images thing), most search bars, video playback, and so much more, all depend entirely on JavaScript.

Google wants to take away that necessary security of blocking problematic ads, rather than just make a way to disable the problematic aspects of ads.

I dislike ads, especially when they take up more than about 25% of the screen. I'd ideally like to see little to no ads ever, but I understand how ads support the sites they're on, support creators on streaming services, etc.

I'd be okay with classic banner ads, basic image/link ads, even the before/during/after video ads, if they weren't almost guaranteed to be literally hostile. If Google hates ad blockers so much, they should make them less of a safety requirement by letting us choose to disable ad scripts, or even just block that entire concept, because no ads for any worthwhile service or product have ever needed to run scripts. If an image or GIF of your product/service, maybe with a quick description, isn't selling your product/service, then making it hover over the page content, make noise, and mine Bitcoin will only piss your target audience off, while proudly claiming that you are the one doing it.

Would you buy a product that tricks you into interacting with it through just being annoying and pulling the sibling trick of "I'm not touching you, see? I'm touching your computer, not you?"

Hell, pop-up ads were basically scriptless and still managed to piss off most of the people who encountered them. The guy who invented them made a public apology for having developed that 'extremely intrusive' marketing method. Now ISPs have been caught injecting malware into links that you click on while using their service, with the express intent of installing them to your computer to monitor what you do and block access to sites they don't want you on.

You want the Internet to be safe? Don't fight porn or violence, that has never done anything but drive up interest. Fight the people actively making the Internet literally unsafe to use regardless of age or system.

I'll accept ads if ad providers stop making automatic malware.

Sorry for the rant, I'm tired and annoyed.

Doflamingo helping Sophia with all that sickness.

So, uh. I published Love at first bite (SanjixOC) and Breeder Village's (DoflamingoxOC, highly problematic) next chapters today on AO3. In this newest chapter of Breeder Village, Doflamingo helps a woman who feels sick after he takes her on a flight with him.

I made a joke making fun of the supposed AO3 author's curse just yesterday.

Then suddenly today I start feeling sick. Bim bang boom, I'm living out my Doflamingo fic fantasy. Except I don't have a Doflamingo helping me out. Fate forgot like the most important part to this equation. So yeah. I'm filing a complaint with Fortuna or whatever idiot was responsible for this.

Also, dear body, please let me at least drink water again? I'm starting to feel like this.

So yeah! A little rant post to file these coincidences together. I still refuse to believe in the curse cause screw that.

After my first bout of sickness I sat down in bed and drew Doflamingo with the last of my energy. I have a very strong tendency towards being melodramatic so I was like "if I go out here, I wanna go out doing what I love." Not that the art turned out particularly great because of that, unfortunately.

Either way! Thanks for coming to my pity party, I'll tone it down from here on out again, but I am just a melodramatic little bitch :^)

Guys i don't even know what to do, i am so stuck and every move i can make is wrong. My job gives me money and something stable for rental applications, because i want to move out of my parent's house so so badly and have been trying for so long. At the same time it is actively breaking me down mentally and physically, and i would prefer to leave my job alive. But i can't quit without having something lined up after, and i really can't keep changing jobs just to have to quit after a few months. I know that I'm gonna have to figure out some way to sustain myself on my own and that is bloody terrifying. And that also means that i can't move out, which would also affect my friends, but i really need to get out of my parent's place god help me

Uhhh just a rant I made bc I hate capcut templates— for me I think templates just lack originality