Gn!reader - Blog Posts

Pain

You were done, everything was hurting and you just wanted to go the fuck home. The first thing you did, was tell Hotch, who immediately send you and Spencer home, as you are in no condition to drive. Spencer had packed your things for you, telling you to just relax the best you can. He bent down, helping you put on compression socks, it didn't always help, but you're hoping it'll work today.

"Are you sure you don't have any painkillers with you?"

"Yes Spencer for the millionth time i use the last one!" You yell, you didn't mean to, but you're just so irritated. Spencer gives you the look, and your shoulder shrugs sag. "I'm sorry, I just....No, I don't have any more pain meds left and it's getting really bed" You explain as Spencer helps you into a soft par of slippers.

"I'll stop by the pharmacy on our way back and you can see if you can get some sleep?"

You smile, he's too sweet to you sometimes. "Thank you" You brush a hand over his hair.

Spencer help you to the car with a blanket and a pillow, it's about 9pm and while you are tired, the pain is making you restless. When you finally get more painkillers, it makes the pain dull, but not go away, now your whole body just aching instead. So Spencer does what Spencer does best.

He makes you comfortable.

He feeds you all the food and drinks you can think of, makes all the stops you need to get out and stretch, and when you finally fall asleep, he drives carefully.

Spencer doesn't wake you op when you arrive home. You blink your eyes open as Spencer tucks you into bed. Your body still aches but the drowsiness outweighs it and you fall asleep again. Spencer tucks himself in behind you, careful to not make your pain worse by cuddling you.

You guide his arms to places it doesn't hurt too badly and the two of you fall asleep.

Pie

You had tried just asking him, no dice. Make him his favourite meal and lots of it, hoping he's eat him to a state of sleepiness, but he was still op until 4 am, now just with more energy. Then you tired talking to him about medicine, that was a hell no. Which lead you to, more natural remedies, it took you days to find the right things. But, you got it.

So here you are, mixing blueberries, cut op raspberries, cut op strawberries, and Goji berries in a bowl. You're making pie for dresset tonight and Spencer better like it, or at least take pity on you and eat it. You pour the berry mix into waiting pie dish. Then you pour sugar over it before laying the lace dough on top.

When you set the pie on the table in front if him, Spencer's mouth waters. You knocked it out of the park tonight. You smile as he has another piece, hopping, praying it will at least help. Spencer glances op to you, a bit of berry juice around his mouth. "Is there something on my face?" He asks, putting his fork down. You reach over with a napkin "Yes" You wipe the juice off his mouth. "But please, keep eating"

The two of you are settled on the couch, it's not been a long day so when Spencer leans in close to you, it surprises you, it does seem out of place for him to cuddle op to so early in the evening. You gently wrap an arm around his waist. "You alright baby?" You ask, toying with his long hair. His eyes are almost closed. "I'm very tired for some reason"

"Mhm" You hum, moving to lay under him so he could lay fully on you, the way he slept best. "I may have had a part to play in that" Spencer's eyes flutter open to look at you. "Excuse me?" He asks, his favourite way of asking to expand on your sentences.

"The pie, I promise there was no medicine in it but the berries in it, help with sleep. Blueberries, raspberries and strawberries have antioxidants, raspberries and Goji berries also have melatonin" You gently brush some hair behind his ear. Spencer smiles, struggling to keep his eyes open.

"You, baked a pie for me, so I'd get some rest?"

"Yes, i did, and it seems to have worked"

Spencer smiles and lays his head down on your shoulder. "Thank you darling...I suspose I needed the help"

"You're welcome Baby, now rest, I'll be here when you wake op"

Relax

It's a hot night, you've been sweating all day long. You decide it best to shower, Spencer isn't going to be home for a while and there for you can hog the bathroom for as long as you want.

You step into the tub / shower comb in your shared apartment. You quick rise the sweat off your body before settling for a nice long bath. You step out, still wet. As the tub fills op behind you, grab the basket of 'everything bath' that Spencer had gotten for you for your birthday. The basket is still pilled high with special hair care for your hair type, body washes, bath salts, bath bombs, and body scrubs.

You almost laughed at him when you saw it. But he coaxed you into it, at first just the physical care products then slowly to the more pretty and relaxing stuff.

You set the basket of stuff by the tub, just where you can reach. You slip into the warm water, your phone on the counter is playing some of your favorite music. You're on your second round of conditioner when the bathroom door opens, you haven't bothered to lock it as you were alone.

"There you are" Spencer sighs in relief as you rise the conditioner from your hair. "Hey, thought you weren't gonna be home until late?" You ask, brushing a hand through your hair. Spencer dips a hand into the blue and purple water besides you. "It's 2:28 am" Spencer presses a kiss to your damp forehead.

"It is?" You ask, watching as Spencer strips off. "Yes, do you mean if i join you?"

"I'd love that"

Spencer slips in behind you. The water in the tub raising further op. "Mhmm" Spencer snuggles into your neck, pressing a few sweet kisses to your skin. "Bad case?" You ask he continues to kiss you. That seems to halt him.

"Two kids, siblings, kidnapped by the same man a hour apart. They were found barely alive in the unsub's basement....I'd rather not discuss it further"

You turn your head, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "Of course" His eyes soften, and his shoulders relax. "Thank you" You share a few kisses before helping Spencer wash the day's stress away.

It's 2:58 by the time you and Spencer settle in bed together. It's dark, so you feel your way to Spencer's embrace. Spencer holds you close, gently tracing circles on your back.

You snuggle your head into the crook of his neck, your whole body feels soft and relaxed. Spencer shifts and gently pushes a leg between your thigh, you smile at this. A bath then cuddles, not a bad night.

Rain

You wake to a soft tapping sound against the windows. You glance to the slightly open bedroom window, you never liked sleeping with the windows open but Spencer has reasured you countless times that having a slightly open window on the 6th floor of a building was a 0,000085 percent of any violent crime.

There's rain pelting the windows, sending a chill through your bedroom. You snuggle in close to Spencer's neck, pressing yourself flush in behind him.

Spencer makes a small purring sound, the cutest sound he makes when he wakes op. You press a small kiss to his neck, shushing him gently, hoping to not derail the rare night of good sleep he is getting.

"Don't shush me" Spencer half groans, shifting against you. "Why are you op?" He asks, fingers grazing you arm. You sigh, you really didn't want to wake him, but Spencer is and will always be a light sleeper. You nuzzle close to his neck.

"Just the rain, sleep"

"The rain?" Spencer questions with a yawn as he reaches down and tugs the covers op to your necks. "Mmm, sound, temp. Just sleep"

Spencer relaxes into your grip, and soon enough he's back asleep. The rain has always been a comforting sound for you. But not at night, at night any rain, soft or harsh wakes you and may keep you awake for hours if you let it.

Spencer shifts, snoring lightly. You remind yourself that you too rarely get a good night's sleep and close your eyes. To help yourself fall asleep, you go back to an old favorite trick. You slowly slip an am away from Spencer.

You feel around your nightstand, feeling the familiar texture of your earplugs. You pop them in and wrap your arm back around Spencer. You cuddle close, burying your head in the crook of his neck and getting a leg back between Spencer's. While that started as something Spencer asked for, it's become something you do out of habit. It's a nice touch for you both.

It takes only a few seconds for you to fall asleep behind Spencer.

4 am.

Spencer is wake at 4am reading, you making him go back to bed.

You find yourself waking op in darkness, you glance to your alarm, t's 4 am.

You softy reach out, finding only cold sheets where Spencer should be. You turn over fully, searching for Spencer. When you find nothing at all, you tramble out of bed, panicking.

You flick on your reading light. Your first thought is to call Hotch, but you need to be sure that Spencer's gone and not just in the bathroom. You pull on the shirt Spencer left on the floor when you went to bed.

You grip your phone tightly as you check through the living room, then the kitchen, then the bathroom, you're about to call the whole team and tell them Spencer is missing when you hear a chair creaking.

You walk to your shared study, seeing light on beneath the door. You gently crack the door and sigh happily as you see Spencer sitting at his desk with at least 7 different books.

"Spence..." You call, rubbing your eyes. Spencer quickly turns around, hair a mess, only in his underwear and glasses and with a bit of blue pen ink on his fingers. "H-Hey..." Spencer croaks. Your shoulders sag.

"It's 4 in the morning, what the hell are you doing Spence?" You ask, walking to Spencer and grabbing both his shoulders.

"JJ called.....needed help with some chemical stuff and I, just got invested" Spencer blushes in the yellow light of the study. You lean your head on his.

"Have you learned what you needed?"

"Yes..." Spencer mutters, pushing his glasses further op on his nose. That makes you smile a bit. "Then call JJ and then you are coming back to bed"

Spencer looks down in shame. "What? Out with it Baby, now" You demand, squeezing his shoulders "I, already have" Spencer mumbles, refusing to look at you.

You grab his chin and force him to look op. "We'll talk about this tomorrow, you are coming back to bed and cuddling me" You drag him op from the chair. Spencer nods and lays his glasses by the books.

"Of course, it's early morning and we should be sleeping" Spencer relents. You press a kiss on Spencer's cheek. "Mm, now come on, Bed" You say before dragging him back to your bedroom.

You toss the shirt you were wearing back on the floor. You settle in bed with him. Spencer opens his arms for you to tuck yourself into, and so you do. Snuggling op close to him.

"When did JJ call?" You ask, laying your head in the crook of his neck. "At 3:43 am"

"Damn it Spence, i, never-" You yawn. "mind, it's fine, but promise me, the next time the team calls at night, you find what they need, then go back to bed. Okay?" You tell him, wrapping an arm around him, feeling the skin of his back.

"I will, promise" Spencer says with a small nod, tracing circles on the skin of your lower back.

"Good"

Good night

Spencer and y/n

You been on the phone with Spencer for a few hours now, and while you love talking to him, it's late and you are getting tired. Very tired. You lay down on your shared bed, phone still pressed to your ear.

"Spence, baby" You say, sleep trying to pull you into it's grasp. You slip under the covers, warming your body.

"Yes?" Spencer sounds so awake you're jealous of his awakeness.

"You know i love you, right?" You ask, yawning as you rub your eyes. Spencer gulps and whispers to you in a nervous tone.

"I've been talking for too long, haven't I?" Spencer asks, suddenly nervous and sad.

"No, no baby i love hearing you talking it just, it's 3 in the morning for me and I'm really tired" You chuckle lightly, hoping you aren't hurting his feelings by cutting him off. You rub your eyes as you wait for a response.

"It's 3 am for you? Why didn't you say so? it's only 1 am here. You should go to bed" Spencer almost sounds like a kid being told their friend is sick, concerned.

"Oh, right, you're like, on the other side of the country. Yeah, you should get some sleep too okay?" You say, plugging your changer into your phone.

"Yes, of course Dear"

"Good night Spence"

"Good night"

Sweater

you look around in your and Spencer's shared closet, runing your hand over every shirt, trying to pick a good shirt for the rainy day. It's chill out and while your appartment is heated, it's still chilly enough to need a long sleved shirt. Since your favioute sweatshirt is in the wash, you're looking for another comfortable shirt. Spencer's been called away for a missing child, so at worst, he'll be home early tomorrow, if it's good he might be home in a few hours.

You've just run your hand down your last swearer, finding the material rough and unforgiving for you today. You run a hand down over the sweater that separate your side and Spencer's side of the closet. The feeling of the soft cotton sends a shiver down your spine, that's it. That's the one you want. Spencer's dark blue, light but warm sweater. You pull the sweater off the hanger and pull it on over your t-shirt. You press your nose to the fabric, breathing in the smell of Spencer's deodorant and cologne.

You settle on te couch with a hot mug of tea. You mind wanders to the case. Spencer muttered off some details to you bofre he left this morning. A 7 year old boy went missing from a church youth program, when his mother came to get him, the program leader said his grandfather had picked him op, but the boy doesn't have a living grandarent. It's case like these that make you not want kids. You'd love to have a family with Spencer, but cases where kids go missing from safe places, they creep you out.

While you don't want the church going, white fence or classic nuclear family, you'd like a kid or two, not more then three though. The idea of a family life with Spencer, it would be tough, with his job, but you'd really love it. Life in a home with some good land and a few kids runing around outside. You sip the hot tea, bringing yourself back to your reality, there's nothing you can do to help the boy. All you can do is be there for Spencer when he comes home, to keep him ready and able to help when another boy goes missing.

You take another sip, relaxing as the liquid warms your throat and stomach, making you feel cozy and safe as you snuggle op under a blanket. You're not sure when Spencer left, it was either late last night or early this morning, it was dark out. That much you are sure of, it was dark out. You hope it's not raining where ever in the country Spencer is at the mommnet. You don't even remember if said where he was going. Does it matter though? isn't a missing kid a missing kid no matter where they are from? You finish off your mug of tea, craving for another. You drag yourself op from the couch, needing some golden goodness. As you're stirring in your milk and sugar, Spencer comes back through your front door seemingly in disstressed. You grab another cup, kowing Spencer's wil either want tea or coffee. "Hi honey" You greet, watching as Spencer drops his bag with no regard for it's safetly on the floor. "Tea?" You ask, lifting his normal coffee cup. "Yes please" He nods, sheding his shoes and jacket. You never wore shoes inside, when you told Spencer this, he insitsted he'd do it too.

"Do you-" "He wasn't alive when we got there, he was dead within the hour he was taken" Spencer sighs, joining you in the kitchen. "I'm so sorry" You mumble, pouring Spencer a cup of tea. Spencer stands behind you, tucking himself close to you as he wraps his arms around you. "It's not your fault, it's the bastered who took him fault"

"i know, but still" You say, stirring a few teaspoons of sugar into the tea. Spencer's always had a sweet tooth, sweet tea and sweet coffee are a must. "Mhmm" Spencer adknowledges your statement, resting his head in the crook of your neck. "I don't wanna think about it anymore, i'm home now" Spencer presses himself closer to you.

"Of course" You say, crading your neck to let him snuggle close to your skin. His breath on your neck makes you shiver, but you let him, knowing the scent of you always calms him. "Thank you" He mutters. You tap his arm and he let's go of you. You give him the hot mug, and he takes it, tugding to the cough with you following behind with your own tea. You sit down nex to Spencer, leaning into him slightly.

"Is that my sweater?" He asks, laying an arm around your shoulders. You find yourself flushing. "It may be" You say, setting your mug down on the small coffee table. "You look, wonderfull in it" Your reponse is muffled by Spencer leaning in and pressing his warm, sweet lips to yours. You lay a hand on his chest in surprise. It takes you a second to kiss back, grabbing his collar with one hand and wrapping your other arm around his neck. He pulls back a second, catching his breath. "Was this on purpose?" He heaves and you stramble to know what he's asking you.

After a momment you admit defeat. "If what is on purpose?" You ask, toying with his collar. His hand grabs at the fabric of your- his sweater. "You're wearing my sweater, you know how i feel about seeing you in my clothes" He mumbles, straddling your lap. You grin. "Remind me" You sneak a hand down to pull his shirt out from his slacks. He seizes your wrist, eyes staring straighet at the sweater you've got on. "Don't push it, just kiss me" Spencer demands

"Mhm, i don't know, you're not being very nice Spence" You tease, undoing his top button. You smile as your tone makes Spencer shiver. "Please kiss me?" He tries, shuffling closer to you, bringing your bodies together. His arms settle down around your waist. "Mhmm, i don't think so baby-" "Please! Please i need to kiss you y/n" He tugs at you harshly and you chuckle. "Oh, needy for me? You need me?" You tease. Spencer gives you his famous puppy eyes and you melt, you can't help it. "That is not fair, Spencer Reid" "You're not fair either" He pouts.

You sigh and drag him down into a firm kiss. His lips are sloppy on yours. You slide a hand around his back, pulling his shirt op from his pants anyway. His protests are muffled in you lips, allowing you to slip your tongue into his mouth. He softens in your lap, relaxing as you kiss him. You slide your hand op his back, feeling the soft skin. He whines at your touch, and pride swells in your chest. You love how he reacts to your touch. "Spence?" you mumble between kisses. "Yes?" He mumbles back, sliping a hand under your sweater to feel your skin for himself.

"It's wasn't on purpose, but the next time it will be" You mutter, firmly grabbing ahold of his shirt collar. "That's not fair" He whines, his mouth so close to yours that you can smell the sweet tea on his breath. "Tell me you don't want it then" You tease, hoisting his hips op closer to yours. "I can't" He gasps as his hips hit yours, grabbing on tightly to your waist. "Then quit complaining" You give your hips a small thrust into his, watching as he tries to not moan. "I'm sorry" He gulps, fingers digging into your skin so harshly you know you'll end op brusicing. "That's better" You praise. "Now tell me what you want"

"I, um"

"Use your words Spencer" You tease, watching as he blushes and tries to stammer out his answer. "I want to fuck you in my sweater" He confesses. You blush, not expecting this explicet answer. "Well" You huff, manuvering around to lay under him. Spencer follows, staying atop you. "You better get started then" You wrap your arms around his neck. "You are gonna kil me one day" He gulps, chuckling slightly. "Mhmm," You reach op and tug him down for your mouths to met again. You hook a leg op around him. "I might, but you'll like it i'm sure" You mutter in between kisses. "I love you" He whispers to you as he begins to kiss down your neck. "I love you too" You whisper back, sliding a hand op into his hair, tanggling your fingers in his soft curls. He undoes your pants, shuffling to get them off you and leave you in your underwear only. You reaching op, undoning his shirt and pulling it off him.

"Baby, if you don't hurry op and fuck me, i'm going to do it myself" You huff as he works to get his pants off. "Keep being a brat and i won't fuck you at all"

"Okay, okay, i'll be good"

"Good, because i'm gonna need you to you to hold on for a while" He says, slipping out from his boxers and tossing them on the floor. "What? Spencer that's not- hey!" You yelp as he lifts your hips and slips your underwear down to your knees. Spencer leans op, close to your face. "You heard me" He grunts. "I'm gonna take my time with you and you are gonna hold on until i give you permisson" Spencer muffles your answer in his lips and you stoamch twists. You know what taking his time means, it means he's gonna rail you six ways to sunday. And you can't wait.

Movie night

You settle on the couch with a bowl of chips and some soda. Spencer sits down beside you, seeming nervous and tense. It's your first movie night together and while you're in a nervous extied state, Spencer seems to be head for an anxious state. You find yourself rocking slightly, a trait you've picked op from Spencer. The movie starts, and you smile widely, bringing your legs op to sit criss cross apple sause, or as Spencer has told you, like a tailor. But it's way more fun to say criss crosss apple sause.

Spencer insisted you picked the movie. You didn't agrue. It's a new movie, like came out a week ago. It's a movie about a young boy gathering and selling seashells while learning about the sea. You glance over to Spencer as the into plays, he's gripping the ege of his couch, knuckles white. You graze a hand over his knee, watching him tense op more. "Spence, are you okay?" You ask, turning your full attention to him. "I'm fine" He promises, brushing your hand off. You pull it back, accepting it as no touch day. You're half way through the movie when you realize, you've been touching and hugging Spencer all day, if he was really that uncomfortable wouldn't he have pushed you off.

You look back to him, he's got a pillow craddled in his lap, he's hugging it, leaning over it. You try to subtlety eye him op, hoping for another clue. But you are not subtlet at all and he catches you. "Is something wrong?" Spencer gulps. "With you, yes what is going on with you?" You state, reaching for the remote and pausing the movie. Spencer shallows, shaking his head. "No, nothing's wrong"

"Spencer, you've got a pillow in your lap and hugging it for dear life something is wrong" "nothing is wrong"

"Then why can't i touch you?" You chuckle, leaning an arm down on your knee, bracing your head on your hand. Spencer gulps again, blushig a bright pink and you ready youself for a long talk of germs. "I'm sorry, i, i just. This feels a lot like a date and i don't like touching on dates becuase i get anxious" his grip on the pillow tightens.

"Baby, we're just watching a movie on your couch, nothing you don't want to happen is going to happen, if you get uncomfortable, i'll leave" You slowly put a hand over his. Spencer smiles silghtly, gently turning his hand over and inter lacing their fingers. "I know that, okay i know that" He sounds like he's trying to reasuring himself then you. "Oh honey, can i give you a hug?" You ask, feeling your eyes grow watery. Spencer nods and you move in to hug your boyfriend. Your arms settle around him, drawing him in close. He wraps his arms around you, slowly, but affectionnately. "There we go, it's okay Spence" You comfort him, laing your head in the crook of his neck. Spencer tugs at you and you crawl into his lap, moving the pillow from between you. "I'm sorry, it's not that i don't want you to touch me it just makes me nervous"

"i know, you'll use to it, i hope" You say, brushing a hand op the back of his neck and into his curls. You pull back, focusing on his lips, would kissing him be too much? "Would you mind if i kissed you?" You ask Spencer, grabbing ahold of his curls lightly. "No, i wouldn't mind" Spencer answers , leaning in to met your lips. You press your lips firmly against his, enjoying his reactions. He shivers under you and you pull back. "How about, we can finish the movie, or we can head to bed ealry if you like?"

"We'd wake op ealier then normal what's- oh, you mean....."

"Yes i mean we could go have sex" "I'd like to finish the movie first, i, actualy really like it" Spencer mutters, cheeks flushing a deeper red. You brust out laughing. "Oh how i love you Doctor Spencer Reid" You seize his face with both hands and kiss him firmly.

Spencer and y/n

There might be mistakes, i'm not great with grammer in any language. English is my second language.

You knew Spencer would be late coming home tonight. If he came home, so you decide to indudge yourself by looking around his apartment. You hadn't told Spencer you were staying over until he came home but figured you didn't need to. He'd be happy to see you, right?

You'd certainty be happy to see him again. When he'd rushed out this morning you were barely awake, it was around 4:30 and he'd kissed you goodbye and along with an apology for ruining your weekend plans of staying in with him.

You'd had half a mind to grab him by his tie and drag him back into bed, but not the strength to do so. So that was you got, your weekend of cuddles and kisses turned into no cuddles, and one kiss. You're not mad but a little disappointed to have his job yet again ruin a planed weekend. While you yourself are in the FBI, you're in a white collar crime unit and therefore you're safe from being called in on your days off.

You try to be understanding, but sometimes it sucks to left alone in the early morning hours. You'd thought about going back to your own apartment, but decided against it. You'd just cleaned op after dinner, and definitely didn't look through his entire kitchen out of pure curesoist. You put on your favorite music before looking through the first of many bookshelves.

You find a book that looks a bit out of place. A book you know isn't Spencer's normal type. It's the romance novel you've been rambling about for almost a week now. Maybe you left your own copy here by actident and Spencer set it away without looking closely. You pull it out and run your hand over the cover. It's not the same addition as yours. It's a newer. Why would Spencer have your favorite book?

If someone else left it here Spencer would have returned it emetlltly.

You yelp as arms settle around you. You hadn't heard Spencer come home over your music.

"I figured you'd find it eventually " He murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to your neck. "Don't scare me like that!" You reach back and half heartily slap his side. He huffs. "Don't snoop around my appartement then" he mumbles, swaying the both you of you from side to side.

You find this behavior odd, sure you like it but it's not normal for Spencer to initiate physical touch. "Hey.. You alright Spence?" you ask, setting the book back on the shelf. You'd discuss it later. You wrap your arms around his. Spencer tucks himself further into you, face burried in your neck. "Tough case?" You question, knowing it had to at least an important case for him to be woken op at 4 in the morning.

"Mhm" He finally hums. You're sure this case was a couple, maybe a boyfriend killed his girlfriend or the other way around, it's the only good reason for Spencer to act like this. "A couple huh?" You ask, maneuvering around to look at the man still clinging to you. He won't met your eyes, only hiding his face in the crook of your neck. "Mhm" you hear him mumble some more but you can't hear him clearly. "What was that Spence? " You ask, gently rubbing his back.

He pulls from just enough to be understandable. "The wife and the mistress killed the cheating husband and left him naked and wrote 'cheater' on his chest with lipstick, then dumpped him in front of a strip club" His breath sends a shiver own your spine. "Damn okay, that's a lot" You say, letting him hide in your embrace. "I'm sorry.....Are you hunrgy?" He shakes his head. "Well, couch cuddles?" You ask, sliding your hand op into his hair, ruffleing it slightly. Spencer nods and you drag the both of you to the couch. Spencer moves to lay under you and you let him, hoping the pressure would help calm him. You settle atop him, carefully avoiding his hipbones knowing laying on them would make you both uncomfortable.

You lay your arms around his neck, shivering as your top slides op and reveal a bit of your lower back. Spencer's arms wrap tightly around you, warm and comforting. You don't bother turning on the TV, only wanting to enjoy Spencer's company. "Spence" You say, shifting slightly. "Yes?" He answers, shifting under you as well. "Why do you have that book anway?"

"You've being talking about it for a while, i wanted to know what it was about"

"So you going to read it?" You asks, laying your head in the crook of his neck, pressing a quick kiss to his skin. "Is that a promblem?" Spencer asks, grazing his hand op under your shirt to feel the warm skin of your back. "No, no i'd love if you'd read it. But be warned" You chuckle "It's not as innocent as it looks"

"I think i'll be alright" Spencer mumbles, sounding tired. You close your eyes, it's not that late, but it's the weekend so sticking to a sleep schedule isn't a high priority at the moment. "Thank you darling" Spencer mumbles. "What for?" "Being here"

"Of course, i love you"

"I love you too"

Little dabble of Spencer Reid and y/n

You were woken op by Spencer coming home late after a case. He’s stripping off for bed. He’s down to his slacks, the room only lit by the reading light on his nightstand. You let out a groan, reminding him of your presence in his bedroom. Spencer turns, his curls clear in the low light. “Hi” He greets, undoing his slacks and stepping out of them. “Hi smart boy” You smile, rolling to face him. “Come here, snuggle op please”

Spencer smiles in the low light. He crawls into bed, settling into your embrace. He turns off the lights, leaving you in darkness. “Mhm, good, it’s so good to have you home again” you mumble into Spencer’s hair. You pull your arms tighter around Spencer’s waist. Spencer’s gently grabs onto your arm. “It’s good to be home” He mumbles back. “Rough case?” You question, feeling the warm skin of his stomach and chest. He pinches your arm as he shivers at the contact. You press yourself close to him, enjoying his warmth.

“Mhm, young boys and their mothers, stangled then put in bed together in their sunday best. I’d like some sleep now” Spencer mumbles, going slack in your arms. You nod. “Of course, talk tomorrow. I love you” You press your face into the skin of his neck, leaving a kiss on his pulse point. He shivers and sighs happliy. “I love you too Darling” He whispers back to you, shifting his lower half flush against yours. “Hold me tighter?” Spencer whispers. You obey, tightening your hold. “Course. Case hit close to home?” You ask, snuggling into his neck. “Mhmm” He nods lightly before shifting his head to lay comfortable on his pillow. “Going down to see your mom in the morning?”

“Yes” Spencer answers.

“I’ll come with” You promise, letting your eyes flutter close again. “Thank you”

can you do toji? Like where he comes back home to see you but your gone and he would start to panic because he doesn't know where you are and wondering if you left him and the reader left to go shopping for groceries and we wrote a note for him and telling him we was leaving to shop but he forgot and thought we left him Completely until we returned to the house with groceries and Toji on the floor crying? 😼 I hope this makes sense this is my first time requesting this 😊

Running Errands, Not Away

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: SFW fic, sad pathetic Toji, established relationship, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, domestic fluff, panic attack, a couple of swear words

A/N: Thank you so much for your request @sleepypulm ! You were the first to ask so I'm extra grateful to you <3. I got a little carried away and I didn't expect to write so much haha. I tried to do both Toji and reader POV. I hope my illustration of his panic was atleast a little realistic, going off my own experiences. I really hope you like it!

(image found on Pinterest)

Toji Fushiguro fears nothing. Why should he? He is the infamous Sorcerer Killer, after all. Sure, he doesn’t have any cursed energy. But that never stopped him, in fact even the Time Vessel Association begged for his help. He has hunted many and beaten more. Nothing ever gets in his way. But then he meets you. It’s as if the deeds of his past melt away in your wake, and his sins lay forgiven. The heaviness he carried within him seems insignificant now. You somehow brought back warmth and colour in his life. Sometimes Toji lies awake at night wondering what he did to deserve you. He never figured out why you loved him. He could barely express himself emotionally. He was a broken man from the inside and he had done everything wrong to fix that- gambling, killing, shady deals. Yet you never begrudged him of his shortcomings. All you did was love him. Quietly and loudly, through actions and words, in public and in private. You introduced him to all your friends, dragged him along to Sunday brunches and even made those stupid little sandwiches for picnics in the park. He’d never tell you that he actually loved those sandwiches, despite his protests, each and every flavour.

Which is why this hurt. Worse than when he had almost been gutted trying to take out some Grade 2 sorcerer. Worse than having shards of glass shoved down his throat. Worse than anything Toji had felt before in his miserable life. He had come home after a long day and was looking forward to sleep, you, a cold compress, and food. Not necessarily in that order. The keys jangled in his large hands as he pushed the door open. He called your name - once, twice, thrice. 

That’s odd. No answer. 

You always fling yourself at him like you hadn’t seen him in days every evening when he got home. You’d talk his ear off about your day and steer him to the couch while you asked about his. He had gotten used to this routine and after an initial few days of sulking, he had even leaned into it. But there was only pin-drop silence today. Worry blooms in his chest. Toji tried to tamp it down as he slid his bag off his shoulders. Maybe you were just taking a nap and hadn’t heard him. Or you were in the shower. Yes- that had to be it. Why else wouldn’t you answer him? Unless…

Toji stalks towards the closest door - the study - and flings it open. Nothing but darkness. Obviously unused, he shuts the door and takes off towards the bathroom. He didn’t even bother with the kitchen, the lights were off and only the fridge hummed gently. Nothing in the bathroom either. Toji’s heart was pounding now. That only left the bedroom, and he wasn’t liking his odds. He could see no light coming from underneath the door, but maybe that didn’t mean anything because, of course, you’d turn the lights off when sleeping… right? No such luck. Panic gripped him fully. Toji slowly makes his way over to the bed. The mattress bows under his weight. He can’t stop himself spiralling now. 

You’re just late, that’s all. Probably traffic, work’s been crazy. You’re not the kind to just… leave. You wouldn’t do that, not to Toji. The fight you had last week over taking a trip abroad seems so inane now. Surely that wasn’t the reason. People argue, it’s normal. Maybe you’re at your mom’s. You’ll text him, or call him, or something. You probably just needed some space. Yep, that’s it. That has to be it. 

The silence in the house suddenly becomes suffocating. It pushes its way into his lungs and threatens to take over his senses. Is this what a panic attack feels like? Toji tries to breathe. It’s the first thing they taught him, even before he lifted a weapon. 

Breathe, control your body, control your mind. Panic helps no one, it only disrupts concentration. 

Well, fuck that, Toji thinks. None of his training mattered now. Not when- not when you were just gone. Toji checks his phone one last time. His wallpaper- the picture he took of you laughing after he fell on his ass in the snow- seems to mock him now. Nothing in his messages and nothing in his calls.

You’re gone and it’s my fault, Toji thinks. 

His breathing speeds up. He feels the weight of it all now like it’s crushing his chest. He slips off the edge of the bed, his wide shoulders shaking. His face feels wet and warm- Toji can’t even remember the last time he cried, not like this. His body heaves and his mind betrays him further- What did I do? What did I say? What did I not say? And then it comes down on him, all at once. The sobs he’s been choking down, his denial turning into sharp-edged grief. It feels like he’s stepped into some kind of quicksand and he’s drowning in the absence you’ve left behind. He doesn’t even try to stop it anymore. For once in his life, Toji lets himself feel.

------------------

You hum in tune to the music blasting in your ears. Balancing a checklist in one hand and a shopping basket in another, you take a final sweep of the grocery store and confirm that you’ve gotten everything. It’s your second anniversary with Toji. Last year, you both decided to go to the fair like a couple of lovestruck teenagers and shared a slice of cake (black forest with cherries on top, Toji’s favourite) to commemorate the event. This year, you decided to surprise Toji with a home-cooked two-course dinner. The menu consisted of lobsters on pasta and black forest cake. After paying for the groceries and bidding the cashier a good night, you drive home in the quiet evening. The orange of the streetlamps cast a magical glow on the streets and you marvel at the calm in the neighbourhood. A peaceful night in, you conclude. 

You grab the paper bags and head to your shared apartment. The keys jiggle in the lock and the door creaks open softly. You slip inside and kick your shoes off. The clock on the mantle tells you that you had accidentally stayed out later than planned so you hurry to the kitchen and begin setting things up. As you haul the fridge door open, you hear it. You freeze in place. Was that… a sniffle? Confusion floods your mind. As you cast a glance towards the door, you note Toji’s bag next to the shoe rack. He’s home already? But that means… was that Toji crying? You’re utterly baffled now. Following the source of the noise, you head to the bedroom. 

“Toji?” Your voice is soft but it seems to echo in the stillness. You take another step forward and scan the room. And then you see him- on the floor at the edge of the bed, hunched over, his muscular frame shaking. Your heart twists. You flick the lamp switch on and take cautious steps in his direction. 

“Toji,” you call again, firmer but still gentle. He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even look up. He’s clearly in distress, although you don’t know why. His breathing is uneven and he doesn’t move. A sharp spike of fear courses through you, but you ignore it as you kneel beside him, placing a careful palm on the flat expanse of his back. 

“Hey,” you whisper, struggling to keep your voice steady. “What’s wrong, honey? What happened?”

Toji flinches at your touch and finally looks up. His eyes were lined with red and full of something you couldn’t place- Guilt? Despair? He stares at you for a long moment, as if he’s never seen you before. Your worry increases. You’ve never seen Toji cry. Ever. You can feel your heart breaking. Something must be seriously wrong and you open your mouth to ask him again but he interrupts.

“You—” he croaked, his voice raw from what you assume was hours of crying, “You came back.”

You’re even more confused now but you’re slowly piecing it together. “Toji,” you say firmly, wiping the tear tracks away from his face, “I didn’t leave, you silly man. I went out for groceries. Have you forgotten what day it is today?”

He shakes his head and his breath catches again- it’s like he doesn’t believe you, or won’t. You don’t know what’s worse. 

“I thought,” his voice cracks, “I thought you were gone. That my past, the things I did… I thought you had had enough. That I—,” You don’t let him finish as you pull him towards you, arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders. You feel Toji sag against you. His large hands come up slowly, and he clings to you as if you’d vanish if he let go.

You stroke his hair gently and murmur into it, “I’m here, Toji. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I see you for who you are, and you can’t scare me off, I promise.”

“You didn’t call, you didn’t text… I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend, I know you deserve better than someone like me and I just thought that you’d.. found someone or something better, and that you’d just left me and I wouldn’t blame you but—”

“Toji, stop,” you command. Your heart aches. You had no idea he still had these insecurities and you feel guilt creep in that you haven’t been able to assure him otherwise. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not true, all right? I’m not leaving you. I’d never do that. I love you and we’re in this forever, okay?”

He doesn’t respond so you you just hold him tighter, hoping that your embrace conveys the reassurance your words can’t.

“Toji, I left you a note. You didn’t check the kitchen, did you? I thought that’s where you’d go for a snack after a long day, which is why I left you the note on the counter saying I’d be out for groceries. Oh, you big fool, Toji,” you’re scolding him now, “All you had to do was take two steps into the kitchen. I had to run out for groceries, it’s our anniversary tonight!”

Toji’s stiffens in realisation and he pulls back slightly. Embarrassment flits across his handsome features and he wipes a large paw across his face as if to scrub away traces of the panic that had gripped him earlier.

“Anniversary, huh?” He grumbles now, almost sheepish. “You.. uh.. just getting groceries? I thought—”

You laugh, feeling relief wash away your fears. Of all the times he’d called you melodramatic, it turns out he was the drama queen. You’re grinning now, “I wasn’t leaving you. I’ve been planning our anniversary dinner for weeks! I guess I’ve got to make it up to you now.”

Toji’s face turns a shade of red you’ve never seen before and you lean in to plant a kiss on his downturned mouth. He sighs, but he’s not angry; just embarrassed at himself for not taking a second to consider other logical conclusions. A small giggle escapes you as you watch him pull himself back together.

“I… I’m sorry.” He says it quietly, his eyes cast downward. “I just… I didn’t know, and I freaked out, and I thought maybe... I don’t know... you were done with me.”

You soften at his words, brushing his hair back from his forehead gently before cupping his face in your hands, making him meet your eyes. You run your thumb over the faint white scar across his lips.

“Toji,” you say, your voice tender. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, all right? I don’t care how much you think you mess up or how much you doubt yourself. I love you, and that’s not changing.”

His expression starts to shift as he takes in your words, the tension in his body easing slightly, but his eyes are still filled with uncertainty. “You really mean that?”

“I really mean it,” you reply, your smile softer now. “And as for tonight—let’s just forget about the grocery disaster and make it special anyway, yeah? We’ll laugh about this in a few years. How a big lump like you panicked and cried instead of taking the time to read a piece of paper.”

He chuckles, his hand coming up to gently grip yours as if holding on to that reassurance a little tighter, a smile slowly breaking through the wall of his insecurity.

“Yeah,” he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “I guess we will.”

thank you for reading! i appreciate any feedback. likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated. my requests are open. do not plagiarise my work and/or repost it anywhere without crediting me.