Alastor Hazbin Hotel - Blog Posts

This is part three to the Playful Punishments series

Lucifer has become an absolute menace, and Alastor enlists Charlie's help in getting revenge. Unfortunately, he seemed to forget that Lucifer is literally THE Devil, from the Bible.

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic. If that's not something you vibe with, then kindly continue moving - do not pass GO, do not collect $200, just move along lol.

Amir is so unhinged, I love him😭

Radioapple twitter goin thru a thing rn

LIKE AMIR????

AMIR???? CHAT???? AMIR WHAT IS THIS BEHAVIOR?????

Reblogging this for personal use lol

For anyone who wants to write fanfics or comics, ect about characters from Louisiana (Gambit, alastor, ect.) with accuracy to Louisiana and any French we speak here.

⚜️There's a lot of information after the phrases just an FYI ⚜️ I add a few things that I forgot about.

Common phrases used in Louisiana are:

Sha

(pronounced like it's spelled) this is a gender neutral term used for all ages, it's a friendly term used to address someone, most people use it for everyone. Inflections and sentences can change it to be more familial or romantic but it's often just used when addressing someone else. A lot of people use this term and say it for everyone they meet. This is used to replace cher and cheri, no one uses cher and cheri ever, have never heard a single person in Louisiana use those terms in my entire life.)(commonly said at the beginning or end of a sentence when addressing someone also typically accompanied my 'oh' or 'mais/man'

Examples :"oh sha, can you grab me that bottle right there." " How you been sha" "man sha, you seen what that man did over there" "oh mais sha, eat, you must be starving"

beaucoup

(boo•coo) very much, plenty/ plentiful, very, much, an exuberant/ large amount of something. Each of these can be used it just depends on the context, it is often used in 'thank you' or in jest or exasperation to emphasize that someone has a large amount of something. Sometimes people also use it in a jesting manner to make fun of how little someone has when they are trying to pretend like it's a lot. Extremely common to hear in New Orleans slightly less use in the rest of the state but is still used often. Commonly said as "beaucoup much" (younger generation born late 90s to present mainly use this one) or by itself

Examples: "did you see the amount of bread loafs that guy had in his buggie, he had beaucoup things of bread"

Merci also "merci beaucoup" or "beaucoup merci"

(mer•see) thank you, thank you very much, plenty thanks, very thanks. Still widely used across Louisiana rather commonly. Not everyone says it but it's just a personal preference, the people that do use it often still say thank you in English from time to time, they just also like using these terms as well. These phrases are also used for everyone it doesn't need to be reserved for special times/ people.

Example: " merci, have a nice day" kinda self explanatory

Adieu

(a•doo) kinda like goodbye I think I've heard a some people say it but it's definitely not the most common. They said it in place of good bye so I've just always assumed that's what it meant.

Petite

(pa•teet) small, little, tiny. This is already used in the English language show I don't really have to explain it much but it is commonly used among Cajuns and other Louisianaians to address a person affectionately especially when you add another word behind it. Sometimes people will say "mon petite ___" or "petite ____" sometimes shortcutted to "te" sometimes just say patite if it's an nickname the additional thing will most likely be in French and be something that the person likes or enjoys. I've rarely heard it used otherwise unless talking about clothing.

Examples: my grandmothers used to call me "Mon petite papillon" (my tiny butterfly) and "petite minou" (small kitty) because one grandmother's favorite animal was a butterfly and the other's is a cat.

Nanny and parrin

(nan•ee) (pah•ra) god mother and god father, most people call them by these terms so if you here someone from Louisiana talk about their nanny they don't mean someone their parents hired to look after them they mean their god mother.

Couyon

(coo•yaw) fool or idiot. Typically used in rather jest or scolding but typically when joking around. More common in Cajun areas than New Orleans. Sometimes if someone does something foolish especially after being told not to or is just being really clumsy or acting stupid/ rude then people will just call them couyon and walk away or laugh at them.

Example: " will you stop acting like a couyon? We need to get a move on."

Mais

(mah) but . See Sha for example of use mainly used with Sha .

Allons also "allons dan ser"

(ah•law) (ah•law don say) let's go and the phrase commonly used with it is "let's go dancing" more Cajun area use then New Orleans.

Beb also bébé

(pronounced like it's spelled) babe or baby also typically used in a neutral manner when talking to people, can be used for anyone but is most commonly used among family or close friends especially for people younger than you. Can also be used in a romantic connotation like babe or baby usually it is generally affectionate no matter how it's used. Can be used for strangers typically said by women but men do say it.

Example: "bébé can you go to the kitchen and get me a soda"

Just please please don't use cher or cheri no one says that around here it's almost always specific nicknames rather of things the person talking likes or the person listening likes. Please see petite for example.

Gambit is likely to say card related nicknames since he likes gambling, I know a few people who like playing cards who call people things like king and queen quite often as well as like 'my heart', 'little diamond'

In French those would be "reine" (Queen) or "dame" (lady/ queen) , "roi" (king) , "Mon cœur" (my heart/my core), " petite diamant" (little diamond)

For Alastor I'm not sure that there's anything radio related that people would use, my family has been in the radio business for a while and I've never heard any from any of my family members or my parents. He is likely to use deer related ones especially if they are puns.

Examples: " Mon biche" (feminine) or "Mon cerf" (masculine) (both mean my deer) , and "petite biche" (fem) or "petit cerf" (masc) (both mean little deer). He also likes music and that would be more like "Mon musique" (my music).

Any of these can just be said in English not every nick name or pet name is said in French.

Everyone is different so some people throw in more French some people less, nowadays people don't really speak fluent French unless they're old or rich.

Gambit was raised in a cult basically so he does get somewhat of a pass to speak more French if you want him to but it's not super common in New Orleans.

Alastor would have spoken French being from 1920s but being a radio host he probably would have also learned English and went through vocal training to get rid of his accent. ( My family has been in the Louisiana radio business for decades and they all had to train to get rid of their Cajun accents when they started working for the radio stations) Also Alastor is creole not Cajun I will explain the difference more towards the end.

If you want to add the characters speaking French you can just use Parisian French (French spoken in France) no one is gonna be upset if you do there are also no translators on the internet that I know of that have Cajun or Creole (Canadian is also acceptable if your Canadian or know Canadian)

There are a lot of different accents in Louisiana not just Cajun (called flat talk by locals most of the time) .

Some people speak with southern accents, some have Cajun but most talk like stereotypical Americans or have an accent that comes along with speaking AAVE.

Creole accents are like French and Jamaican accents combined it's pretty rare for people to have the accent nowadays though and for some people it can be slightly different

You don't have to write out accents if you don't want to.

Which leads to my next point most people in Louisiana speak in AAVE (African-American Vernacular English) especially closer to and in New Orleans.

The farther away from the 1930s-1940s the character(s) are the less French they will naturally speak and put into everyday encounters. Most people in present day Louisiana especially in areas like New Orleans don't speak French and only add in what few words they do know or are still within common use in day to day conversations.

After this point it is random facts about Louisiana ⬇️

Why did people stop speaking French in Louisiana after this specific period of time?

Great question, the answer is that there had been a law put in place at the time, that declared that everyone had to learn English as it was assigned as the official language of the United States. From what I've been told by my grandparents the law makers cited that they wanted Louisiana to be more welcoming to tourists and the large incoming crowd of refugees and migrants as the reason for the law being inacted.

My grandparents stated that it was probably so that the refugee and migrant crowds wouldn't isolate themselves to only people who spoke their languages. In order to keep unsavory groups from forming (if there were any n@zis among the German crowd, other axis power supporters among the Italians or Japan's crowds as well) they forced everyone to learn English.

I don't actually know what this law was but my grandparents have talked about it since I was little. They were forced to learn English when they hit elementary school and my great grandparents were forced to learn English or possibly lose their jobs, in some cases they were threatened with arrest or their children getting taken away.

This created fear that caused parents to decide to stop teaching their kids French. When my parents were born my grandparents barely taught them any French and mainly taught them English. Rarely anyone in my parents generation could speak or understand full French.

Some parents didn't want to teach their children French only for them to never be able to speak it outside the house.

I also have a feeling that this law was also partially put in place because of Quebec, Canada as they fought for their right to keep speaking French and threatened to become their own country if forced to conform to English like the rest of Canada. So the U.S. was probably trying to stop that from happening with Louisiana.

Also New Orleans has been regularly speaking English since before the rest of Louisiana was mandated to, because it is a port and always has been. It's also been a high tourism area for quite a while as well.

What is the difference between Cajun and Creole ?

Creole means French or Spanish settlers that came directly from the "motherland" (France or Spain) originally this term was more or less used to establish elite status as most of these people were from rich families and paid a lot of money to secure their position in the new colonies belonging to France the term was extended to the Spanish when they had control over Louisiana.

This term eventually came to blanket over slaves and their descendents as well that were under the control of these people, the current Creole culture was mainly shaped by these families as well as the families of Haitian slaves and their descendents that were also brought into Louisiana to serve the Creole people.

This is where voodoo and hoodoo become a part of creole culture because the enslaved persons brought their culture and religion with them from Africa to Haiti and then to Louisiana when they were forced to change location again.

Creole people lived mainly in New Orleans and the surrounding area, most of them owned farmland slightly farther out from the city but lived in the city center while things were tended to by enslaved persons and a person or persons designated to watch over their daily activities

Creoles didn't just enslave Africans they also enslaved impoverished European using manipulation tactics, most of these Europeans became freed people before African Americans and at some point we're given their own slaves which kept them from revolting surprisingly but in surprisingly. Creoles enslaved Cajuns when they first got to Louisiana by order of the king and then freed them when they realized they knew how to farm but gave them their own enslaved persons.

Most Creoles now are African Americans and lead an intricate culture different from Cajun culture that is mainly a mix of French and various African cultures with a little bit of Spanish culture as well.

Creole food and Cajun food aren't too different but some Cajun food has okra bases as to where creole dishes have a tomato base for most dishes as it was an over abundant resource of the New Orleans area.

Cajun people are from a French group of settlers that were originally supposed to create their own nation in Nova Scotia, Canada. They were a bunch of farmers sent there for the purpose of creating an agricultural specific nation using Canadian soil and plants.

Their county was called Acadia and they were called the Acadian people, they technically were not ruled by the king of France and were their own nation, this in fact caused problems especially because they were a young nation and were composed of farmers with no military or combat training and little to no weapons.

With no support from the king or way to form their own military, England forced them to pledge allegiance to rather the king of England or the king of France so they knew where Acadia stood, Acadia asked for help from France, France refused because they were their own nation and they didn't want to pledge allegiance to the king of England

So in true English fashion they burned the nation of Acadia to the ground and forced the Acadian people to leave, the Acadians went to Louisiana in hopes that they would help, the Creoles enslaved them and stuck them where they believed the land was uninhabitable and they would perish because of the order of the king of France

The Acadians being farmers were able to pick up on how to properly farm the land after being shown by natives (my tribe yay) and when the Creoles checked on them and found them alive the king of France made them free people's and gave them land from Acadiana, their new area of living in Louisiana to the what is now the lafourche parish area.

They were given enslaved persons and were put in charge of helping make Louisiana's exports a larger market. Cajun culture and dishes come from a mixture of Acadian, native American and African culture put together with the resources of the area, these dishes spread to the Creoles and were changed to match the resources of the New Orleans area and imported goods.

Cajuns are called Cajuns because the English misheard the name Acadian and so everyone started calling them Cajuns.

Cajun and Creole today doesn't nearly have as many connotations as the past, it mainly just means your family is from this Acadiana area or from New Orleans and you're a descendent of one of these groups

Do Cajuns and Creoles have beef with each other?

Nope, any beefing is mainly joking, and is specifically about the differences in the same dishes between the two cultures.

Does it matter if someone is Cajun or Creole?

Once again nope, Louisiana is a big mixing pot of cultures so no one really cares, everyone loves celebrating the different cultures in Louisiana especially of the newer groups that have joined over the decades through immigration.

I only specified with Alastor because I've seen people call him Cajun when vivzy has stated multiple times that he's Creole.

Enough about Cajuns here's some info on Mardi Gras:

Mardi Gras is one day at the end of the carnival season.

It's on a different day each year because it is a Catholic holiday and goes by the Catholic calendar which changes every year.

Mardi Gras means "fat Tuesday" which is the Catholic holiday the day before ash Wednesday which is a day of fasting and sobriety.

You don't have to be Catholic to celebrate.

Even though it's a Catholic holiday all of the parades are based on Greek and Egyptian mythology

The carnival season is different every year and lasts between 1-2 months before Mardi Gras day, Brazil has a similar celebration at the same time called carnival as well for the same reason.

The carnival season is typically in January- February or March.

All bars close at midnight on Mardi Gras day once it hits ash Wednesday and very few of them are open on ash Wednesday later in the day.

There are family friendly Mardi Gras parades which are most of them and specific parades for adults, typically at night, please don't flash your boobs that's illegal and makes people uncomfortable, the adult parades mean that they might give out alcohol and beads or other float throws that will contain adult symbols like marijuana or nudity. Some of these they throw things like purses and shoes and that's why it's classified as adult.

Anyone can join the parade even people not from New Orleans you just have to pay a fee for whichever parade you want to be in to secure a spot on a float and buy the beads and stuff that you throw, some parade you have to have a specific amount of items, to be allowed on the float

Some people go to other parades to get beads and other stuff for them to throw at their own parades (my family does this with the radio station vans lol)

People on floats throw beads, plushies, party favors, hand clappers, cups, dablooms , recorders and other plastic instruments, bouncy balls, other types of balls, inflatables, candy, chips , ramen, hair clips, plastic swords and plastic tomahawks

Most of the balls for specific parades are closed events for people on the committee but there are masquerade and non masquerade balls and parties held across the city throughout the carnival season, there is even one specifically for Neuro divergent people.

There is a kink parade, that is called "southern decadence" it is a gay pride parade that focuses on sex, kinks, drag burlesque and finding people to hook up with this happens typically around august. If you tell people your going to a gay pride parade they will side eye you because they assume it's this one and not the family friendly ones that happen in June.

The only other parades outside of carnival season and pride are a Christmas parade (krampus), a Halloween parade and st Patrick's Day parade (Irish and Italian American heritage parade)

A king cake is basically a cinnamon roll log that doesn't get cut into individual cinnamon rolls and gets formed into a ring and baked then has vanilla icing with colored sugar on top. There is a baby inside but if you pre order it you can ask for the baby to be put on the side or not included at all. The baby means you buy the next king cake and you will have luck.

It's encouraged to wear costumes to parades but you don't have to, it does get you more beads.

Have a bag or something to put your beads in if you wear them throughout the parade it will be painful and it will get you less stuff thrown at you.

Other random things about Louisiana I think are important:

It's warm throughout the year because this is a sub tropical area, in the summer it is constantly between 89°-115° please don't put characters in long sleeves or tons of layers in the summer.

It rains a lot like 50% of the year it rains

Not every part of Louisiana is swamp

There is no deep woods of massive swamps in the middle of the city of New Orleans, there are a few in the surrounding area but those are an hour -hour and a half out of your way by car at minimum

Hoodoo is magic , voodoo is a religion they are connected but not the same thing not everyone that practices voodoo practices hoodoo and vice versa. PLEASE DON'T MESS WITH THESE RELIGIOUS OR MAGICAL ARTIFACTS WITHOUT SOME WORKING KNOWLEDGE OF IT OR CONSENT/ PERMISSIONS, PLEASE FOLLOW THE RULES IN THE SHOPS.

There are also many practicing pagans and wiccans in New Orleans same rules apply.

Yes there are second lines (marching bands for parties) constantly going through the city but most of them are for funerals don't join them unless you're told you can.

Most people from Louisiana have pretty bad seasonal allergies

There is way more to the city of New Orleans then the French quarter, the French quarter is only like 10 streets

We have a ferry that goes from Algiers (west bank New Orleans) to New Orleans proper (east bank, actually main part to the city) it lets out at the aquarium. There is another one that goes from Algiers to Chalmette (part of the greater New Orleans area)

The greater New Orleans area is the area around New Orleans where most of the people that work and hangout in New Orleans actually live, this includes Jefferson parish and st. Bernard parish. There is still a high population of people who live in the city itself.

Baton Rouge is the capital of Louisiana it is about an hour and a half west of New Orleans by car

People go to Grand Isle, Louisiana or to Biloxi, Mississippi to go to the beach

There is a water park outside of Baton Rouge called blue bayou that's really popular the other water park in the area is Jellystone but most people call it yogi bear because it's a yogi bear theme park

Fairs happen in Louisiana between May - June and then again in September - October

Around Christmas most parks have Christmas lights displays that you can drive or walk through or Christmas villages

People actually play jazz music on street corners in New Orleans, it's not every street corner and most of them are concentrated to being closer to the French quarter

Most bars have a mixture of live music and a dj more upscale places with stick to jazz but most other places have rock, hip hop, r&b, rap and bounce, closer to Lafayette they play zydeco more often then jazz

Louisiana is the state with the second highest gambling rate behind Nevada, there are multiple casinos in Louisiana and even private gambling clubs that you have to know someone to get into

Street cars are like busses on set rails, basically an above ground subway system. You have to pay a fee to ride and can find out the various paths that these take through the RTA (New Orleans public transportation) system or station

You can get electrocuted if you stand on the street car rails if the street car is close by and not stopped, if you see one coming towards you get off of the rails so you don't get hit it takes a little while to stop the car.

Hurricane season begins in May and ends at the beginning of November

People in New Orleans keep pet chickens and some of them just let them roam the neighborhood. So it's not uncommon to see a chicken walking around in a residential neighborhood

Some people in Louisiana have houses raised on stilts because of flooding, their are stairs to get to the house (I've had tourists ask me about this before that's why I'm mentioning it)

Yes we can tell when you're a tourist it's pretty obvious (typically it's because they try to hard to fit in or they wear beads outside of Mardi Gras and get drunk at 12 pm)

New Orleans is the largest city in Louisiana

You will find many different cultures in Louisiana not just Cajuns and Creoles because of immigration, these cultures are all very much celebrated in Louisiana

The most common non English languages spoken in New Orleans are Spanish, Vietnamese and Arabic as currently.

Here's some food from Louisiana:

A quarter of New Orleans (not the French quarter) smells like coffee because of the community coffee plant and during certain times of the year with strong winds the whole city smells like coffee

We eat red beans and rice on Monday's to honor deceased enslaved persons as they would typically eat red beans and rice once a week because they were only allowed to eat protein once a week. Not everyone knows that, I learned about this from Whitney plantation they might have information about it on their website. Not everyone eats red beans and rice every Monday or only on Monday's that's just tradition.

For creole version remember to add tomatoes

Seasoning blend is onions, red bell pepper, celery, parsley, and garlic

Jambalaya:

A dish where you cook down meat and seasoning blend and seasonings, typically the meat is chicken and sausage together then add rice and water into the pot and cook until rice is soft.

Sometimes people add cubed pork or beef, peeled shrimp, peeled crawfish, or other left over meats they have on hand.

Gumbo

A thinned brown stew with seasoning blend, at least chicken and sausage and seasonings, served over rice with fíle (a ground sassafras seasoning)

Other meats included peeled shrimp, peeled crawfish , deshelled or soft shell crab, and oysters

Cajuns sometimes add smothered okra Creoles typically add stewed / smothered tomatoes, I've seen some people add both it's up to preferences and family recipes.

Often served with potato salad

Étouffée

Peeled shrimp or peeled crawfish, seasoning and seasoning blend served in a cream shellfish flavored gravy served over rice

Sauce Piquante

Chicken, shrimp or catfish stewed in a mixture of seasoning blend, seasoning, Rotel , crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes and tomato sauce, served over rice

One of few dishes that have no changes between Cajun and Creole recipes

Boudin

Rice dressing in a sausage casing, typically steamed or smoked

Cracklins

Extra crispy fried pork skins with some meat still attached covered in spices

Po-boy

Warm deli meats or fried seafood, sometimes in gravy on French bread (not baguettes) with mayo, lettuce and tomatoes

Sometimes has cheese, pickles or mustard typically left to customer preference on this one

Beignet

Square fried donuts covered in powdered sugar

Typically eaten with coffee, tea, hot chocolate or chocolate milk

King cakes

Cinnamon roll log made into a ring formation with vanilla icing and colored sugar on top, has a baby inside that means you buy the next king cake if you get it and good luck

Can have different fillings

Seasonal to January through March

Natchitoches meat pie

Pie dough filled with ground beef or crawfish baked into a hand held pie.

Sorry that this is so much information I hope this is helpful for people who want to write about characters from Louisiana.

Hope this helps @lifes-line sorry it's so long.

hi!! I read a fic recently that has your name scribbled all over it, its called "For The Good Times" by Scenefox2003, its a radiosilence fic and it emotionally destroyed me-- so I thought it would be right up your alley!

I looked it up and just started chapter 3, so don't spoil anything for me yet lol. I like how it's going so far, thanks for the rec!! You know me so well😭

part 3 to the Therapy Pig Fat Nuggets series

Only chapter 1 is out rn, but I should be updating on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so keep an eye out

Lovers of deer Alastor should definitely take a look lol. This was requested by @guesswhocouldntsleep feast my friend

Alternate title was "Seeing How Much I can Traumatize Alastor Before Characters Start to Break the Fourth Wall Over It"

Edit: all chapters are now posted

hi! I'm trying to get other peoples opinion on this-

what do you think alastors human life was like?

sorry it took me so long to answer this one, I've been busy lol

are we talking about what I think for canon, or the headcanon backstory that exists purely for angst? Because those are two veeery different answers lol. I'll just answer the canon opinion, and maybe do another part about my headcanon if anyone's interested

As far as I know, it's been confirmed that Alastor's mother was colored, and at least hinted that she was Vodun (not sure on spelling there) I think that his father is also confirmed to be white, and I know we're all pretty sure by now that he was abusive. We know Alastor likely became a radio host, and was a serial killer (obviously lol) who hung around Mimzy frequently enough. For simplicity's sake, I'll say that Alastor was born in the year 1900, making him 33 when he died

Now, for the speculation. I feel like his parents only married when his mother got pregnant, which resulted in her being outcasted from the Vodun community. I believe she still would have taught her beliefs to Alastor, which probably angered his father, who was most likely Catholic based on the most popular religions in the area at the time. I don't know if it would be ore likely that Alastor's father killed his mother and Alastor killed him because of it, or if Alastor killed his father because of the abuse and lived with his mother until she died of illness. Either way, his father ends up out of the picture. For this, I'll say that his mother lived.

Something I don't usually see people take into account is that the US got officially involved in WW1 in 1917, and started drafting 18yo boys in 1918 - ironically enough when Alastor was 18. The law that prevents "the only surviving son" from being drafted wasn't even thought of until 1964, so Alastor wouldn't have been spared from the draft. I believe draft contracts were about 2 years long, so unless he was injured, Alastor would have spent about that much time in combat. He likely had PTSD from that, but they didn't know what that was at the time, so it would have gone untreated.

He gets home when he's 20ish, and eventually becomes a radio host, befriending Mimzy in the process, but he struggles when he comes home. Nothing seems to alleviate the awful feeling building in him since he came back, and then his mother dies. He snaps. Based on that pre-canon comic, Alastor typically targets predators/abusers ("I do hate those who can't show a little more respect towards those of fairer means"), which makes it pretty ironic (or purposeful) that his name literally means "Avenger".

He hears a woman screaming late at night on his way home, and sees a man cornering her in an alley. Maybe the screams remind him of his mother, or the things he saw overseas, or maybe he's just angry, but he picks something up and bludgeons the man to death. Later, he can't stop thinking about how good it felt to end such a miserable creature, so he does it again. And again. Until eventually, he's killed dozens of men just like his father, and he's reporting his own murders on a news broadcast for the police.

I like to think he didn't practice cannibalism until he got to hell. But if he did practice while alive, it probably would have been during the Great Depression. Times have gotten hard, and while he still has his job, money is tight, and it would be so much easier if he just took a cut or two from the man he just murdered.

However, he still has to dispose of the less edible bits (clothes, hair, bones, etc), and he does so in the bayou behind his house. One day though, there was a hunter who for some reason thought he was a deer. Barking Alerts Alastor of his presence, and he takes off, dogs close behind and baying loudly. Then a gunshot cracks through the air, and Alastor feels a split second pain in his head before collapsing to the ground. The bullet somehow didn't kill him, but it did paralyze him, so there's nothing Alastor can do to fight when the dogs eventually begin tearing into him. In the end, it was the blood loss that killed him as he was mauled, and it seemed like an eternity before he finally succumbed to that. (this is what breeds Alastor's severe dislike (read: fear) of dogs

this is pretty rough, but I figured I'd probably better just get it all out at once lol. Let me know what you think!!

Vox and Lucifer enjoy having sex - but Alastor has made his views on that very clear. Not wanting their deer to be left out, they look for a different kind of intimacy to satisfy his needs.

This is a sfw queerplatonic tickle fic, if that's not for you, then just scroll right on by.

this is another kind of intense one, but they are very safe about everything, and Alastor has a safeword. There are so many healthy boundaries in this fic, you won't even believe. Lee!Alastor and Lers! Lucifer and Vox, this was the fic I hinted at in my QPR Applemedia post

Who doesn't enjoy a good chat fic? This is mostly some blurbs for when I hit a roadblock on my WIPs (looking at you Therapy Pig series) in order to avoid the dreaded Total Writer's Block

Will update randomly though I currently have about 4 chapters written out. I'm just giving myself time between posting to make more chapters and work on other WIPs

These assholes have so much unhinged potential if everyone would just stop being COWARDS about it

Edit: Chapters 2 through 8 are posted

QPR Applemedia Headcanons

I got bit with the bug for this ship a couple weeks ago, and while I'm writing a little fic for them, you guys can have these headcanons

Lucifer and Vox are romantically and sexually involved while Alastor is their queerplatonic partner

Lucifer and Alastor were actually the first to become involved with each other, then (somehow) Alastor and Vox worked through their differences and became qpps as well

Lucifer DID NOT like Vox at first - he'd heard what happened between him and Alastor and was sure he was trying to hurt Alastor again. It wasn't until Alastor got sick of the protectiveness and forced them to hang out that the pair actually realized their chemistry

Lucifer and Vox are both rich and treat customer service employees like shit

Alastor - who grew up poor and is still not exactly strapped for cash (I'm a broke Alastor truther, sue me) hates this. Both he and his mother worked in customer service when money was tight while he was alive, so he always tries to treat them with respect. He'll take money from whoever was the biggest asshole on their nights out and use it to give the waitstaff large tips. Nights out almost always end in the silent treatment, but our boys are dumb so they don't know what they did wrong or understand why it was wrong when Alastor tells them

Don't worry, they get it eventually and start working on themselves

Vox and Alastor both prefer coffee while Lucifer likes tea more

Vox has the best sleep schedule, Lucifer alternates between not sleeping at all and sleeping for 19 hours, and Alastor sleeps at most 3 hours per night due to crippling insomnia - though he like to tell everyone that not sleeping is a choice in order to seem more mysterious and intimidating

Vox and Lucifer had a field day when they found out Alastor was ticklish. Alastor pretends to be annoyed every time they gang up on him, but it actually reminds him of the rare happy memories of his childhood, so he lets them keep doing it

Vox and Lucifer will binge their favorite shows together and come up with the wildest conspiracies about them

When they sleep in the same bed, Alastor and Lucifer use Vox as a makeshift heater

Alastor is fine with being kissed - making out is a definite no - but he doesn't kiss. He bites with affection. He never draws blood when he's being affectionate, but he's not always gentle either. It isn't uncommon for the trio to be laying in bed and Alastor just starts biting whoever is closest

For someone who is supposedly with the times, Alastor and Lucifer had to explain asexuality an ungodly number of times for Vox to finally understand it - a byproduct of being with Valentino for so long

Alastor still refuses to allow cameras to see him clearly, just to tease Vox when they aren't around each other

Despite his claims, there is actually a wide array of modern music that Alastor enjoys, but despite his southern roots, Vox found out the hard way that Alastor will throw hands if you play country around him

Alastor and Vox love making fun of Lucifer for his height - until he shifted into a form that was a good 5 inches taller than both of them just to shut them up. Lucifer wishes he'd had a camera because he'd never seen them both so flustered at the same time

They have competitions about who can come up with the best dad joke/corny pickup line, and they usually end up laughing so hard they can't breathe by the end of it

They also love trying to make each other blush. Lucifer turns bright gold when he receives genuine affection. Vox overheats when either Alastor genuinely laughs, or Lucifer turns on the charm. Alastor hates that he turns bright red with either genuine praise or when his partners surprise him with something he enjoys (knowledge of jazz/radio, cooking authentic Creole meals for him, expressing real interest when he actually gets invested in something, etc.)

All three of them have weird little hyperfixations - Lucifer with his ducks, Alastor and furbys, and Vox is absolutely fascinated by the existance of Pastafarianism (the worship of the Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster). They all tease each other over their hyperfixations but will listen with the same fond looks when one of them starts rambling about it

Speaking of furbies, when Alastor unleashed the fabled Furby Organ, he played "Symphony No. 5" on it perfectly, and Lucifer and Vox were both awed and horrified

Lucifer always worries they will leave him just like Lilith did, and they both do their best to comfort and assure him otherwise

Vox is afraid that Alastor and Lucifer secretly think he barged in on their relationship, and they will playfully talk shit about each other until Vox is convinced he's both wanted and plays a vital part of their relationship

Alastor fears that they'll either decide he's not good enough because he doesn't like sex, or they'll find out he doesn't own his soul and cast him aside. They don't do anything about this because Alastor never tells them about his fears, instead letting them fester until they manifest as constant nightmares that he also doesn't tell them about

They have each others favorite food and drinks memorized down to the seasoning and temperature

Vox's love language is gift giving, Lucifer's is quality time, and Alastor's is - ironically enough - physical contact. Of course, this makes his touch aversion even more difficult to navigate

All three of them are incredibly touch-starved

Alastor learned how to rewire and fix televisions purely for Vox's benefit - he read three different owner's manuals and practiced on the tv in the lobby in secret

On Lucifer's bad days, Alastor and Vox will regularly check on him and slowly coax him out of bed

Vox is prone to viruses despite his firewalls, and Alastor and Lucifer take turns playing nursemaid when they get bad

When they learned Alastor suffered from panic attacks, Lucifer and Vox spent hours researching ways to help during, before, and after an attack, and learned the signs Alastor had that he was becoming distressed so they could make them less frequent

On that note, when they discovered that he had trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder), they got him different fidget/picking toys to negate the urge to pull his hair

That's all I have for now, feel free to add onto this if you want, I'd love to hear your opinions

another thought I had about the hells winter thing when I was supposed to be paying attention in science lol-

the bayou is unaffected by hell's weather right? well what if because the more difference there is in the two temperatures, the harder it is to keep that up?

can you imagine him having that one safe space ripped from him? all while he's desperately trying to stay warm and just coping with cabin fever in general.

or the alternative:

when a particularly freezing night hits, angel pipes up with the idea of alastors bayou, and alastor has to deal with 6 (i forgot if pentious was dead in hidden hurts or not-) other demons in this one place that was supposed to be his safe space, and also the fact that keeping certain habits, secrets, and emotions hidden gets really REALLY hard when you have no alone time for god knows how long haha.

Hazbin Winter has been floating around my head like a mosquito, THERES TOO MANY POSSIBILITY'S !!

whump angst fluff and humour galore fr lmfao

I love this, and there's definitely a way to incorporate both ideas if you'll take a moment to imagine with me:

At first, things weren't too bad. It sucked and Alastor was cold all the time, but whatever. Then Angel had the bright idea of having everyone stay in Alastor's bayou on a particularly cold night which was also...fine. It was fine. However, one night turned into two, turned into a dozen, and suddenly, Alastor didn't have his own space anymore. That sucked because that meant he had no where he felt safe enough to let his guard down except Rosie's which was out of the question. He would have just shadow-traveled, except this was a Hell winter. and Hell winters were special in that they could be felt no matter what magic was being used unless it was angelic - which Alastor's was not. But it was fine. So what if he didn't have anywhere to decompress? That didn't matter. However, it did have repercussions.

As time wore on, Alastor became a lot more irritable and defensive. Stress built up to unbearable levels, and despite his usual insistence that he was above such things, he began taking little comments (that normally wouldn't have affected him very much) to heart, and letting them hurt his feelings which he of course never told anyone. Add on the fact that he was getting more and more exhausted as the days went by and that only made things worse. He started displaying some obvious nervous ticks from tugging on his hair, to picking at his hands/clothes, to fiddling with random objects, etc.. All of the stress only made the cold affect him more and that was the last thing he needed. It became harder and harder to use his magic and maintain preexisting spells as his body used all of its energy trying to stay warm - shivering constantly and burning calories he didn't have to spare since the stress made him unable to eat.

It all came to a head on one of the rare occasions he actually had his room to himself - everyone else was watching a movie in the lobby. He was curled in one of his chairs wrapped in blankets and shaking with cold despite the bayou's warmer temperature. He could only keep it so much warmer than the outside, and it had steadily gotten colder day by day as his magic weakened. He felt weaker than ever, and honestly wasn't sure if he'd be able to leave his chair. Suddenly, he felt alarmingly empty and he watched in pure horror as his beloved bayou - his only safe haven from his dealer's watchful eyes - faded from existence. He poured all of his strength into a last desperate attempt at saving it, but his best wasn't good enough and it disappeared. He let out a wretched cry and fell to the floor in a tangled heap, but since his room was on the top floor, no one heard. He'd used the last of his strength to try and save the bayou, so he couldn't even drag himself to a sitting position. He cried silent tears over the combined stress and terror caused by losing his last safe haven entirely and ended up passing out due to exhaustion.

Since the bayou was gone, so was the temperature control, and the room steadily plunged into freezing temperatures, hastened by a previously unknown draft from one of the windows. No one knew what happened until they went up to Alastor's room only for it to be colder than the rest of the hotel, and find the bayou gone and Alastor unconscious with frozen tear tracks on his face. They quickly brought him down to the lobby to be next to the fireplace, and the only reason he didn't lose his fingers to frostbite and his life to hypothermia was because of Lucifer's angelic magic. Technically he wouldn't have died permanently, but if he'd died, he either would have regenerated outside (which would lead to him freezing to death again and repeating the process indefinitely) or in the presence of some random sinner who might take a look at a disoriented Radio Demon and decide to make history by doing him in once and for all. Either way not good odds.

Needless to say, when he woke up, Alastor. Freaked. Out. I'm talking full mental breakdown, maybe a panic attack, maybe some frantic hair-tearing, maybe crying, I don't know. All I know is that it's bad. And who can blame him? As mentioned before, the bayou was his ONLY safe haven from his master's surveillance and now he was completely vulnerable to her watchful gaze. There was no where in Hell he could escape her besides his bayou, but he can't tell any of them that, even if he wanted to. Not only that, but he's pretty much completely defenseless. He's too weak to use his magic and all he has left at his defense are his teeth and claws, which means he now has to rely on the others for shelter, heat, and defense. This of course only makes his stress shoot up exponentially and everyone starts getting super concerned, but he straight-up can't tell them why he's so paranoid. Completely awful all around.

that's all I have for now, hope you enjoyed this word vomit. My computer powered off halfway through and deleted all of it and I wanted to cry, but it's done now lol

hello its me- haunting your dashboard and askbox once more haha-

i saw this somewhere else but I don't remember where; what would hell's version of winter be like? I remembered your headcanon about alastor getting cold easily and I would just like to share my vision.

so hell has an extreme climate- we know that- so winter is basically Antarctica. not alastor-friendly AT ALL, it only ever happens once in a blue moon in hell so he's never really had to deal with this before. the whump possibilities are endless lmao. all-around suffering for the deer man.

do with this what you will! no pressure ofc, this is more like a concept you could make your own story or au with so i'm not sure if it counts as an ask- but do whatever you wanna, and if you did ever do a fic, (if that be a series or a one-shot) I would love to make a comic or cover as a Collab! :D

PLEASE never apologize for haunting my dash/asks, this blog is very ghost-friendly!!!!! All ghosts are allowed to haunt as they please!!

As for your beautiful vision: I love it. I will help it grow and will nourish it until it becomes a beautiful whump monster right here on my little laptop. Not sure WHEN I will make it happen, but I WILL make it happen. For now though, I will simply add to this headcanon (expect whatever I add to probably end up in the fic lol)

Winter in Hell is quite the phenomena - only occurring around once every century or so. It doesn't stick to a set schedule though (Lucifer still shudders when he remembers that time that they had five winters within the span of a single decade.) They are also completely by surprise: the most notice Hell has ever had for a winter is that the temperature dropped five degrees in one day. The next morning, sinners couldn't even open their doors the snow was piled so high. And of course, it wouldn't be Hell if the winters were the normal length, no. Winters in Hell can be anything from six months to the record of three motherfucking years. The last winter took place in the late 1910s - about a decade or so before Alastor died.

As mentioned in my previous headcanon, Alastor is a Louisiana boy. And Louisiana did not receive a SINGLE FUCKING INCH of snowfall the entire time Alastor was alive (trust me I CHECKED, that shit is WILD). That means a few things. 1.) Alastor has never seen snow in his now 120ish years of existing. 2.) Alastor has never felt anything below 50°F his entire existence. 3.) Alastor is painfully thin, which means his body has no way to preserve heat. And 4.) Alastor does not appear to have any clothing besides his three-piece suit that he wears all the time in Hell's usual blazing temperatures with seemingly no issue. Of course, this means that his suit would do nothing for him in Actual Cold Weather since he's so used to it.

With all of this knowledge, the only conclusion I can draw is that once winter actually hits, Alastor is royally FUCKED. Especially considering that a winter in Hell is compiled of all of the worst things about winter. The cold air is dry, and the wind is sharp and biting - in the way that leaves your face stinging and your hands and lips splitting. Somehow simultaneously, the snow can change between huge flakes and straight-up sleet, which if you've ever been in sleet, you know it sucks major ass.

If someone doesn't give Alastor a heated blanket He Will Die. Alastor makes the mistake of going outside exactly twice (because let's face it, I love him but this man is too prideful to accept that the weather will kill him after only one attempt - he's Just A Bit Dumb). Both times he has to be rescued by someone at the hotel after he almost fucking freezes to death like An Idiot, and he manages to also get hypothermia both times because he refuses to do anything in halves. After he also almost freezes to death in his room (which is how they find out there's a draft), he's not even allowed in there, and they move him to a guest room right next to Charlie and Vaggie's room that Lucifer added a fireplace to. He alternates between the kitchen (the oven is very warm and Food), his room (the fireplace is very warm and the bed is cozy), and the couch in the lobby (the fireplace is very warm and the couch is cozy and also Alastor is antisocially social).

He is cold. He is miserable. He is perpetually shaking like an old chihuahua. Some of the residents thought it was funny at first, but that quickly stopped after the first Almost Death. They have to watch him because Alastor becomes very despondent, and if he stops shivering, he needs to be warmed up again. Alastor is more exhausted during the winter then he has ever been in his entire existence due to all the energy his body is burning trying to stay warm. He's sleeping more than ever, but he looks absolutely terrible - eyebags so dark they look like a goth guy's eyeshadow, hair a mess, and an overall very strained look about him. He also eats a lot less, so he begins losing weight which is the exact opposite of helpful in this situation. It gets to the point where Husk is willingly braving the elements to get to the butcher shop Alastor likes just to get sinner meat so he will hopefully get something in him.

This winter is the first time any of them have ever seen him willingly snuggle up to someone, and it's fucking LUCIFER because this little bastard puts out the most heat because for some reason that it part of being a seraphim. Lucifer for his part just kinda lets it slide because Alastor would probably die if he didn't and that would make Charlie sad. Ok, and he kinda reminds Lucifer of when Charlie was little and would snuggle up to him, but that's no one's business but his own. If he's a little softer with Alastor afterwards, and less easily provoked by the sinner, that is also no one's business but his own.

hooo, I really let this one get away from me lol. Hope you enjoy this, and please feel free to haunt me as much as you want!! And when I eventually get this pushed out, it would be absolutely fantastic if you decided to make a comic/cover. I absolutely love your art

Hi! so I might do some fanart for your fic "hidden hurts" (it has literally become one of my favourites on Ao3 loll)

the thing is that I was wondering what you had in mind for the general area around the big cypress tree?

First off, I might actually cry, I love you so much right now, we should get married THANK YOU SO MUCH

Secondly, I was thinking that the majority of the bayou has water/mud everywhere (yk....like a bayou) BUT, that there are certain areas that have a little higher elevation meaning that they're completely dry. These areas would be filled with super tall grass (3+ feet) that is either dry and yellow or lush and green depending on the time of year on earth. Places like this exist in actual bayous and swamps too, which I thought was perfect lol. The tree itself has HUGE roots, like, think the trees from the first Avatar movie and you're pretty close, and that's how Alastor's little hollow space is formed/protected. The tree has a natural hollow as well, but the roots make the space larger.

The dry patch is almost like an island, completely surrounded by water. And I just thought of this, but I like to think that Alastor would have a charm in place that once you get on the dry patch or exit the bayou, any mud/water on you is magically removed in order to avoid dirtying his bedding/floor.

Please let me know when you finish, I'd love to see it!!!

Messing with Nifty's cleaning is the easiest way to get on her hit list, and Alastor learns that he isn't exempt from this rule.

OR

Alastor fucks around and finds out.

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic, if that isn't for you, feel free to scroll right on by

I'm crying he's so cute

just a little guy, I love him

APPLEMEDIA WEEK DAY 6: COMFORT / AFFECTION

song comic based on the you & me song by the wannadies! this was originally gonna be my free day yesterday but i mismanaged my time and completely forgot i planned for 6 panels.....

love all of these with my entire being, couldn't resist adding to it lol

Nifty and Alastor. Nifty is 100% the ler in this situation, and not just because she's canonically not ticklish. She is an absolute gremlin and is completely merciless when she decides to tickle someone. Safewords exist with her, but you have to make sure she can hear you when you say it - she'll get so lost in hr attack that she'll completely forget to listen for it. She usually tickles Alastor if she thinks he's upset, or if he's committed a particularly heinous crime against her cleaning agenda (hint about a fic I've written and am currently proofreading???), and she is a little monster about it. If she wants him to admit something, he'll do it within a few minutes. No matter how much he shields himself, her hands are so small, they can squeeze past his defenses to get his worst spots. She's also surprisingly patient - she can build up to a session for days, her current record is 13 days. The anticipation makes Alastor super skittish because he never knows when she'll strike. No matter what, if Nifty decides to tickle him, Alastor will end up crying by the end of the session, if not by the middle. She is scarily precise and always knows what methods/spots will draw out the most intense reactions

Alastor and his shadow. I like to think that they are actually very close emotionally, and his shadow is Alastor's #1 ler, if only because they are around each other 99% of the time. His shadow (they/them) will tickle him for literally any reason. Waking up a few minutes late? Tickles. Anxious/sad/upset at all? Soft cheer-up tickles. Alastor's in a sudden lee mood? They can cater to whatever he needs, be it gentle teasing or a full-blown wrecking. Will use shadowy tendrils to restrain Alastor 9/10 times, even if it's just holding one arm up while they tickle his armpit/side. They're also not afraid to do subtle tickle attacks in front of other people - the most memorable of which being the time that they discreetly tickled his entire torso for a whole overlord meeting and Alastor was literally shaking in his seat and clamped one of his hands over his mouth to physically stop his laughter. Alastor pretends to be mad when that happens, but in reality he's just incredibly flustered

Alastor and Zestial. Happens very rarely and Alastor is always baffled/flustered by it. Zestial has developed pretty strong paternal instincts for Carmilla's daughters and Alastor, though he's never told Alastor as much. He's more of the quietly caring kind of guy, and Alastor is physically incapable of picking up on that kind of thing, though he respects the fuck out of Zestial and always looks forward to their talks. Zestial always makes his tickles seem like they could be accidents. Running his claws up and down Alastor's spine in a way that's shockingly ticklish, grazing the back of his neck when he goes to put a hand on Alastor's shoulder, repeatedly poking Alastor in the ribs/belly when mentioning that he should eat more. Again, very subtle, but he always knows exactly what he's doing. Zestial is just doing his part in making sure Alastor's smile is more genuine in his presence, and if that means poking at his ribs until he's muffling laughter behind clenched teeth and fighting the urge to twist away, the so be it

Tickle hcs for hazbin!

CW/TW: This has lots of sadomasochism and implied CNC (all SFW though!)

(characters included: Charlie, Alastor, The Vees (all 3), Husker, and Lucifer)

tickle rants/fic ideas and inspo stuff (Feel free to add on stuff and/or use these!) 

Rosie and Alastor. Come on lets get some potential in here, she’d totally do intense tk sessions with him. She isn’t stopping until he safewords. He may be scared, yes, but he gave her full permission + consent to do it. (We could honestly go for a CNC vibe!) Rosie is ruthless with tickles, and isn’t really too shy when it comes to lees. She knows their boundaries + limits, and is careful when pushing a lee past the limit. Rosie also owns a voodoo doll of Alastor. But other sessions can be all fluffy and sickening sweet! Soft tickles, teasing little petnames and nicknames (are those the same thing?), gentle pokes and prods. Rosie def knows how to melt a lee, (again, looking at you Alastor,) and loves seeing them be all fluffy and sweet with her.

Vox and Alastor. Alastor is probably more a 50/50 switch with this one, Vox the same. In my opinion, Alastor totally fear chases Vox down all too often for tickle sessions. Knife play isn’t uncommon. CNC is also probably in this one too! I def think Vox would be super teasy with words and tickles when he’s wrecking Alastor. He probably loves doing anticipation stuff–casual pokes and prods when in front of people, little innocent teases, and this could go on for hours on end until Alastor finally just begs Vox to wreck him. When Alastor is tickling Vox, I feel like he’d be on the more sadistic side of things. Ticklish nibbles/bites, claws (he has claws!!!), he’d probably use his tendrils when tickling him. Both can be fluffy one second and wildly sadomasochistic the next. To me its a 50/50.

Vox, Velvette, and Val. They are def on the more sadomasochistic side of things. I feel like Vox and Val are the main lees in the trio, Vel being the ler in most situations. She isn’t afraid to make her lees cry. Val and/or Vox could be crying and begging her to stop, but she isn’t going to. There’s a reason a safeword is set in place. She knows how much they can take + when they’re actually done. I think Velvette would be the one who would do tickle sessions for hours on end. Occasionally she’ll have/let Vox help with wrecking Val and pushing him past limits. They’re sadomasochists, and Vel would totally record sessions.

Val and Alastor (not my most common lee/ler thingy for me). I feel like its a 50/50 here. Alastor enjoys seeing Valentino sob from being tickled. he doesnt like Val that much anyway, so seeing him in pain brings out that sadistic side. Alastor isn’t too kind when it comes to tickles for Val. Val is kind of the same way. He would defninetly trick/force Alastor into drinking a potion that increases ticklish sensations. The poor deer will be thrashing and begging before Val even touches him. And when it actually does start, Alastor probably will be crying within the first five to ten minutes. But then again, safeword is in place. Both demons are sadomasochists. 

Velvette and Alastor. (Personal preferences for female lees have me saying Alastor is the lee in all situations). Velvette enjoys recording tickle sessions. She knows how sadomasochistic Alastor is so purposely does things to rile him up (anticipation, tapping her fingers up his back/sides/etc, talking about tickles in front of him.) When it’s time for the actual session, he’s essentially shaking from wanting the tickles so badly. He does but up a front of saying he doesnt want them until Vel forces him into saying he wants the tickles. He doesnt like the fact that she records it, but he cant really stop her.

Alastor and Husker. 50/50 switch again. Alastor loves doing fear chases with the soul he owns. Seeing the cat sprint away and try to hide while he’s calmly and slowly chasing him down is everything to him. He can sense the fear in Husker which makes it better. Husk enjoys the fear chases but would never say it. Alastor does own a voodoo doll of Husk. When Husk is tickling Alastor, he often has to chain him down so he isn’t thrashing all pver the place. Alastor likes to feel like he’s still in control. so he tells Husk what/where he can tickle and how much. Both demons enjoy the tickles, Alastor moreso than Husk. Husk can/will make cat noises when tickled. 

Charlie and Alastor. (again with my female lee stuff, Charlie isn’t a lee here.) Charlie I think is more soft tickles with Alastor. She enjoys just melting the deer with soft tickles. Charlie also enjoys seeing him start to whine and giggle for more. She loves teasing him, but I think she wouldn’t be too cruel with him. Alastor does tease her through the tickles too, because of the whole wanting to feel in control thing. 

Lucifer and Alastor. Lucifer is more the lee with these two. Alastor enjoys doing soft and rough tickles with Lucifer. He loves to see his rival/partner reduced to an absolute laughing mess from tickles. One way he loved to rile Lucifer up is to drag a hand/tendril down Lucifer’s back to make all six wings flare out, then being all innocent snd pretending it wasn’t him. Lucifer does get Alastor back, although more ruthless. Lucifer’s weak spot may be his wings, but god do angelic feathers work hellish wonders as tickle tools. He slips a wing or two underneath Alastor’s clothes to get right up against the fluffy deer. It tickles like hell. Overall, Alastor loves it.

wowowowow i went overboard lol enjoy!!

Oh, for sure - I got you

Alastor didn't actually know that his tentacles were ticklish. I mean sure, he knew he could feel through them - getting them stabbed and cut off whenever he fought more powerful demons made him quickly understand that. However, sensations felt through his tentacles are a lot different then they would feel in his body. Any sort of major injury to them definitely hurts him, but not as much as if the same thing were to happen to his arm or leg. It is because of this difference in sensation that he actually realized they were ticklish at all. Vox tends to throw electricity around during their battles, and while it stings like hell if it touches Alastor directly, the first time it touched Alastor's tentacles, he almost choked. It tickled violently in ways he couldn't even begin to describe, but he knew he had to get out of there before he lost his composure. This sudden freeze-and-retreat obviously made Vox think he'd won, so he started using this tactic during every single battle. He assumed that the electricity hurt more when it hit Alastor's shadowy extra limbs, but it was the exact opposite. By the end of every battle, Alastor would be fighting belly laughter harder than he was fighting Vox.

One battle, Alastor couldn't get away for some reason, and Vox is just going full-out trying to take advantage of his upper hand to send as much electricity at Alastor's tentacles as he can until his rival begs for mercy. And....he does. Just not in the way Vox was expecting. Alastor starts off with desperate little whines and squirming only to finally burst into wild cackles when the feeling gets too overwhelming. Vox is so stunned he can't even think to stop the electric shocks, so Alastor's laughter just gets more and more desperate until he's eventually begging for mercy. Vox is over the fucking moon. This wasn't what he was trying to do, but it has to be the best thing he's seen ever. Somehow Alastor manages to get away, but Vox NEVER lets him live it down, constantly teasing him about it, or sending electricity to attack Alastor's tentacles whenever they're out

Rosie knew about the voodoo dolls. She was the only person besides Alastor who knew. She kept one in case he got into a really bad lee mood and needed her help with it but was unable to got to her for whatever reason. Of course, him not having a phone led to a few close calls where she would start tickling the doll when he wasn't in a good setting for her to do so. Late afternoons reading in the lobby were ended in a flood of panic and muffled giggles because he'd suddenly feel invisible claws teasing his sides. His casual observation of bonding exercises would be interrupted by a sudden burst of laughter as phantom fingers suddenly drilled into his armpits - he had to hurriedly pretend he'd been laughing at the foolishness of the exercise rather than anything else, though he wasn't sure how successful he'd been with that one. One particularly memorable night where he'd been out hunting in his bayou ended with him muffling his desperate squeals into the grass and thrashing wildly as his bounty bounded gracefully away. It was his own fault, really. Not only had he refused to get a cellphone to communicate their "sessions" properly, but he'd given Rosie the doll in the first place to help with both his lee moods and her ler moods. This meant that he was fair game if she was feeling particularly devilish. Of course, she wouldn't do it if she knew he was doing anything important, and Alastor had to admit that he gained quite a bit of entertainment from the unexpectedness of it every time. Even if that meant spending a dinner at the hotel fighting giggles in his seat and choking back squeals and other embarrassing noises because she'd decided on a night of soft tickles and would explore every sensitive spot she knew of with merciless precision

Charlie had had the bright idea to hire spa workers for the day and have them visit the hotel as a reward for the residents. Massages, pedicures, manicures, you name it, they probably had it. Alastor already knew what would happen if he got a massage, so he spent the whole day eyeing the masseuses suspiciously and refusing to go anywhere near the tables (if everyone else assumed it was only because he didn't want to take off his suit, they were welcome to believe that was the biggest issue). However, because he'd been so set on avoiding getting a massage, he didn't stop and think of the possible consequences of getting a pedicure, allowing Charlie to convince him to do it with her, Vaggie, and Lucifer. He didn't realize what was about to happen until Charlie began giggling a little bit as the worker began filing the inside of her cloven hoof. Alastor had the sudden blinding realization that he was about to die get the exact same treatment, so he tried giving flustered excuses about why he couldn't do it anymore. Charlie begged him to stay, and Lucifer started teasing him - which Alastor obviously would not back down from, so he sat his ass right back down. When the worker lifted his hoof, all of his bravado vanished. He tried to fight it at first, but within the first few seconds, he was a mess. He was twisted all awkwardly in his chair, face bright red and buried in his hands, and shoulder's shaking with muffled laughter. Naturally, everyone caught on pretty quick, which only made everything infinitely worse when Charlie started cooing at him, Vaggie and Lucifer started teasing him, and even the worker started patronizing him telling him it was okay to just laugh. Somehow, things got even WORSE as it continued, because for some reason his left hoof was much more sensitive than his right, and the worker had started with his right. When they started filing at his left hoof, he shrieked before beginning to laugh loudly and squirm, trying his hardest not to yank his leg away or kick the poor worker in the face. Eventually, the pedicure ended, but Alastor was never going to live it down

bruh, I don't know why I did whole-ass mini fics, my original intention was to just share my headcanons about your headcanons. Can't take it back though, I'm just gonna put it out there and hope you all appreciate it lol

Some Lee!Alastor Headcanons to Fuel My Brain

The lee!alastor tag has been painfully empty for the last few days, so I've decided to contribute a few headcanons of mine for you all to see and consider as you wish. Feel free to add on to this post with headcanons/rants/fics/whatever of your own if you want, I was just personally experiencing withdrawal symptoms and needed to fuel my addiction lol

(These are tickle headcanons for those unfamiliar with the terminology. If that isn't your thing, just scroll right on by)

First thing's first. Something I think everyone is sleeping on? Scalp massagers. Specifically the wire ones. I personally think those things are ticklish as fuck, and I'm far from the only one. The majority of us have come to the agreement that Alastor's ears are also ticklish as fuck. Just take a moment with me and imagine the potential:

Someone (probably Angel, or Lucifer) gets a scalp massager and is going around trying it on other hotel residents when they aren't paying attention. It's just for fun, and they're getting the typical reactions (jumping away, super startled, or just completely Unphased). Then, they manage to catch Alastor by surprise and do it to him, but instead of the typical reaction, Alastor startles before bursting out into staticky giggles. Alastor has no clue WHY it tickles so much, but it does, and he's practically paralyzed in a weird half-curled position as whoever has the massager just keeps running it over is head over and over. He can't try to escape, he can only giggle and babble out nonsense words, especially when the ends rub up against his ears which only makes it MORE ticklish, which he didn't think was possible. After the other demon shows mercy (and somehow isn't immediately slaughtered) Alastor develops a healthy fear of the massager, and grows incredibly anxious with anticipation and adorably flustered any time someone brings one out

Speaking of massagers brings me to my second headcanon. This man CANNOT get a massage or he will absolutely die. People who are tense can be more ticklish as a result, and since Alastor is already incredibly ticklish, having tense muscles makes this 100x worse. I have really tense shoulders, and any massage there immediately makes me hysterical, and I imagine Alastor would be the same. If he was comfortable enough to do so, he would be the kind of person to absolutely die if he were to get a full-body massage because it would tickle so damn much - even through the pain that comes with massages. Rosie likes to pretend to massage his shoulders and neck just so she can tell him to stop squirming and giggling so much because she's trying to help him

Another quick headcanon. I like to imagine that he's mostly covered in fur, and while it isn't terribly long in most places, it can still get tangled after a shower, or after being smothered by his clothes all day, so he has to brush it regularly. This is an absolute nightmare for him. Even when he's brushing his own fur, he has to stop every few seconds because he starts laughing too much in certain areas, like over his sides or belly for example. No matter how often he does it, he never gets used to the feeling, and it only gets worse if someone else (usually Rosie) does it for him. At least if he does it himself, he can stop once he starts laughing. It makes it take a long time, but it's less flustering. If Rosie (or Satan forbid someone else for whatever reason) brushes his fur, she usually tries to get a much done at once as she can, so she usually keeps going until he's begging for a break. Also, she thinks it's absolutely adorable, so she'll keep brushing areas that make him squeal long after all the tangles have been removed

Last one for now is that he can feel the static from people's phones. If he's close to someone when their phone rings, he can usually feel the static of it crawling teasingly over his skin. It usually isn't a big deal, but if someone is being bombarded by calls that they keep ignoring (let's say Valentino obsessively calling Angel Dust), the static quickly becomes overwhelming and he'll beg the person to answer their phone or turn it off, if straight up bashing it against the nearest wall isn't an option. It doesn't tickle a particular area, more of an all-encompassing tickle over his entire body. If he gets to the point of begging them to answer, it's usually because he can't hold his laughter and squirming anymore and is trying not to make a fool of himself. He feigns annoyance so people don't find out the real reason he wants the calls to stop. The secret comes out when Angel absolutely refused to answer Valentino one day, but didn't want to turn off his phone because he was in the middle of doing something on it, and Alastor finally broke and curled up where he sat, giggling hysterically and begging Angel to turn his phone off

That's all I have for now, I hope you enjoyed these headcanons. If you decide you like them enough to incorporate them into anything you write/draw, tag me!!! I'd move to see it. Also, as mentioned earlier, feel free to add onto this as you wish, I'd love to see how you all make these headcanons your own

Yess, this is perfect!!!

Charlie just starts treating the massager like it's a spray bottle and Alastor is a particularly devious cat lol. Someone will bring it out, and he'll instantly start staring at them nervously. The second they get close to him he'll try to make a run for it with varying levels of success. If they can get the massager to make that first pass over his scalp, he's done for because he can't conjure up enough concentration to use his shadow magic and get away. As mentioned before, he also has a tendency to just freeze in place and let it happen, literally the only thing he can do is laugh and either hope they have mercy or give in to their demands (which are never as bad as he pretends they are, he's just dramatic)

Angel Dust LOVES to fluster Alastor with the scalp massager, it gets him stronger reactions then sex jokes ever did while having the added benefit of not having even the slightest relation to his work. He and Alastor will be in the same room by themselves, and Angel will just pull one out of nowhere just to watch Alastor blush bright red and panic, flustered out of his mind. If they're in a room with other people, Angel will pull the same shit and watch Alastor try (and fail) not to react because he's around other people and he doesn't want them to find out about his weakness (even though they all clearly know, he is painfully obvious about it). His smile will get all wobbly and he'll try to focus intently on whatever he was doing, but can't stop himself from sneaking glances at Angel and letting out frazzled little squeaks every time. Everyone else thinks it's hilarious and unfairly adorable

Some Lee!Alastor Headcanons to Fuel My Brain

The lee!alastor tag has been painfully empty for the last few days, so I've decided to contribute a few headcanons of mine for you all to see and consider as you wish. Feel free to add on to this post with headcanons/rants/fics/whatever of your own if you want, I was just personally experiencing withdrawal symptoms and needed to fuel my addiction lol

(These are tickle headcanons for those unfamiliar with the terminology. If that isn't your thing, just scroll right on by)

First thing's first. Something I think everyone is sleeping on? Scalp massagers. Specifically the wire ones. I personally think those things are ticklish as fuck, and I'm far from the only one. The majority of us have come to the agreement that Alastor's ears are also ticklish as fuck. Just take a moment with me and imagine the potential:

Someone (probably Angel, or Lucifer) gets a scalp massager and is going around trying it on other hotel residents when they aren't paying attention. It's just for fun, and they're getting the typical reactions (jumping away, super startled, or just completely Unphased). Then, they manage to catch Alastor by surprise and do it to him, but instead of the typical reaction, Alastor startles before bursting out into staticky giggles. Alastor has no clue WHY it tickles so much, but it does, and he's practically paralyzed in a weird half-curled position as whoever has the massager just keeps running it over is head over and over. He can't try to escape, he can only giggle and babble out nonsense words, especially when the ends rub up against his ears which only makes it MORE ticklish, which he didn't think was possible. After the other demon shows mercy (and somehow isn't immediately slaughtered) Alastor develops a healthy fear of the massager, and grows incredibly anxious with anticipation and adorably flustered any time someone brings one out

Speaking of massagers brings me to my second headcanon. This man CANNOT get a massage or he will absolutely die. People who are tense can be more ticklish as a result, and since Alastor is already incredibly ticklish, having tense muscles makes this 100x worse. I have really tense shoulders, and any massage there immediately makes me hysterical, and I imagine Alastor would be the same. If he was comfortable enough to do so, he would be the kind of person to absolutely die if he were to get a full-body massage because it would tickle so damn much - even through the pain that comes with massages. Rosie likes to pretend to massage his shoulders and neck just so she can tell him to stop squirming and giggling so much because she's trying to help him

Another quick headcanon. I like to imagine that he's mostly covered in fur, and while it isn't terribly long in most places, it can still get tangled after a shower, or after being smothered by his clothes all day, so he has to brush it regularly. This is an absolute nightmare for him. Even when he's brushing his own fur, he has to stop every few seconds because he starts laughing too much in certain areas, like over his sides or belly for example. No matter how often he does it, he never gets used to the feeling, and it only gets worse if someone else (usually Rosie) does it for him. At least if he does it himself, he can stop once he starts laughing. It makes it take a long time, but it's less flustering. If Rosie (or Satan forbid someone else for whatever reason) brushes his fur, she usually tries to get a much done at once as she can, so she usually keeps going until he's begging for a break. Also, she thinks it's absolutely adorable, so she'll keep brushing areas that make him squeal long after all the tangles have been removed

Last one for now is that he can feel the static from people's phones. If he's close to someone when their phone rings, he can usually feel the static of it crawling teasingly over his skin. It usually isn't a big deal, but if someone is being bombarded by calls that they keep ignoring (let's say Valentino obsessively calling Angel Dust), the static quickly becomes overwhelming and he'll beg the person to answer their phone or turn it off, if straight up bashing it against the nearest wall isn't an option. It doesn't tickle a particular area, more of an all-encompassing tickle over his entire body. If he gets to the point of begging them to answer, it's usually because he can't hold his laughter and squirming anymore and is trying not to make a fool of himself. He feigns annoyance so people don't find out the real reason he wants the calls to stop. The secret comes out when Angel absolutely refused to answer Valentino one day, but didn't want to turn off his phone because he was in the middle of doing something on it, and Alastor finally broke and curled up where he sat, giggling hysterically and begging Angel to turn his phone off

That's all I have for now, I hope you enjoyed these headcanons. If you decide you like them enough to incorporate them into anything you write/draw, tag me!!! I'd move to see it. Also, as mentioned earlier, feel free to add onto this as you wish, I'd love to see how you all make these headcanons your own

Some Lee!Alastor Headcanons to Fuel My Brain

The lee!alastor tag has been painfully empty for the last few days, so I've decided to contribute a few headcanons of mine for you all to see and consider as you wish. Feel free to add on to this post with headcanons/rants/fics/whatever of your own if you want, I was just personally experiencing withdrawal symptoms and needed to fuel my addiction lol

(These are tickle headcanons for those unfamiliar with the terminology. If that isn't your thing, just scroll right on by)

First thing's first. Something I think everyone is sleeping on? Scalp massagers. Specifically the wire ones. I personally think those things are ticklish as fuck, and I'm far from the only one. The majority of us have come to the agreement that Alastor's ears are also ticklish as fuck. Just take a moment with me and imagine the potential:

Someone (probably Angel, or Lucifer) gets a scalp massager and is going around trying it on other hotel residents when they aren't paying attention. It's just for fun, and they're getting the typical reactions (jumping away, super startled, or just completely Unphased). Then, they manage to catch Alastor by surprise and do it to him, but instead of the typical reaction, Alastor startles before bursting out into staticky giggles. Alastor has no clue WHY it tickles so much, but it does, and he's practically paralyzed in a weird half-curled position as whoever has the massager just keeps running it over is head over and over. He can't try to escape, he can only giggle and babble out nonsense words, especially when the ends rub up against his ears which only makes it MORE ticklish, which he didn't think was possible. After the other demon shows mercy (and somehow isn't immediately slaughtered) Alastor develops a healthy fear of the massager, and grows incredibly anxious with anticipation and adorably flustered any time someone brings one out

Speaking of massagers brings me to my second headcanon. This man CANNOT get a massage or he will absolutely die. People who are tense can be more ticklish as a result, and since Alastor is already incredibly ticklish, having tense muscles makes this 100x worse. I have really tense shoulders, and any massage there immediately makes me hysterical, and I imagine Alastor would be the same. If he was comfortable enough to do so, he would be the kind of person to absolutely die if he were to get a full-body massage because it would tickle so damn much - even through the pain that comes with massages. Rosie likes to pretend to massage his shoulders and neck just so she can tell him to stop squirming and giggling so much because she's trying to help him

Another quick headcanon. I like to imagine that he's mostly covered in fur, and while it isn't terribly long in most places, it can still get tangled after a shower, or after being smothered by his clothes all day, so he has to brush it regularly. This is an absolute nightmare for him. Even when he's brushing his own fur, he has to stop every few seconds because he starts laughing too much in certain areas, like over his sides or belly for example. No matter how often he does it, he never gets used to the feeling, and it only gets worse if someone else (usually Rosie) does it for him. At least if he does it himself, he can stop once he starts laughing. It makes it take a long time, but it's less flustering. If Rosie (or Satan forbid someone else for whatever reason) brushes his fur, she usually tries to get a much done at once as she can, so she usually keeps going until he's begging for a break. Also, she thinks it's absolutely adorable, so she'll keep brushing areas that make him squeal long after all the tangles have been removed

Last one for now is that he can feel the static from people's phones. If he's close to someone when their phone rings, he can usually feel the static of it crawling teasingly over his skin. It usually isn't a big deal, but if someone is being bombarded by calls that they keep ignoring (let's say Valentino obsessively calling Angel Dust), the static quickly becomes overwhelming and he'll beg the person to answer their phone or turn it off, if straight up bashing it against the nearest wall isn't an option. It doesn't tickle a particular area, more of an all-encompassing tickle over his entire body. If he gets to the point of begging them to answer, it's usually because he can't hold his laughter and squirming anymore and is trying not to make a fool of himself. He feigns annoyance so people don't find out the real reason he wants the calls to stop. The secret comes out when Angel absolutely refused to answer Valentino one day, but didn't want to turn off his phone because he was in the middle of doing something on it, and Alastor finally broke and curled up where he sat, giggling hysterically and begging Angel to turn his phone off

That's all I have for now, I hope you enjoyed these headcanons. If you decide you like them enough to incorporate them into anything you write/draw, tag me!!! I'd move to see it. Also, as mentioned earlier, feel free to add onto this as you wish, I'd love to see how you all make these headcanons your own

If you asked Alastor, he'd say he was fine. That was the easiest answer. The answer that kept others from worrying about him. That didn't make it the truth.

The truth was he'd been broken for a long time, and an eroded pillar could only stand for so long without inevitably collapsing.

OR

I was watching tiktoks and saw one (1) edit with the song "Forwards Beckon Rebound" and this idea immediately put a gun to my head and forced me to write it at 2 AM with no planning. READ THE TAGS, HOLY SHIT. This is the darkest shit I've ever written, I'm not playing

After Alastor's last panic attack, Angel's been keeping a close eye on the Radio Demon. Unfortunately from what he can tell, the overlord hasn't been doing too hot since the extermination, and it's only a matter of time before everything boils to the surface.

OR

An idea from @TeddyLockwood in the comments of the last one in this series, where Alastor is coping with his injuries from the battle. I couldn't say no to another opportunity to write Alastor whump with Therapy Pig Fat Nuggets lol

Alastor's Animal Noises

I won't call this an unpopular headcanon, just one that is slept on.

So, everyone knows about Alastor making deer noises, both in canon and fanon. In the show he canonically makes little fawn squeaks when Rosie hugs him (which lives in my head rent free at all times) and does the elk scream a couple times throughout the show. Fanon is just as up in arms about this trait of his, and I think it's great.

But.

What if he ALSO made alligator noises? HEAR ME OUT - trust me, you won't regret it.

So.

When you really think about it, there are a large amount of traits that Alastor has that would make it logical for him to share traits with an alligator as well as a deer. These include: teeth/habit of eating sinners(cannibalism) (alligators are known cannibals), place of origin being Louisiana, persistent presence of bayous in his life (near his home in the living world, supposedly where he hid his victims, where he died, and the bayou in his room), ambush predator (makes you feel at ease by being unassuming then strikes before you even realize the danger), and his temper (appears calm until he's NOT) just to name a few.

Despite what people tend to think, alligators actually make a TON of different sounds, though there's a few main ones I'll talk about.

First one is the territorial growl.

I feel like Alastor could make this sound when he's being territorial (obviously), threatening, or protective (as rare as that is). He begins making this sound a lot more often the longer he stays at the hotel because he begins to see it as his territory, and the residents as his people (not that he'd ever admit that lol). Also, I feel like hearing this loud, bass-feeling noise from this rail-thin deer man would be a bit jarring, especially if you'd never heard it before

Second sound is the defensive hiss.

This is a sound Alastor would make if he's feeling threatened. I'm thinking scenarios where he's annoyed/mad/anxious are when he'd hiss, because they're all scenarios where he'd be trying to get something or someone to leave him alone. It's a very different yet very similar sound to a cat's hiss. They can mean similar things, but hearing an alligator hiss is significantly more threatening, which fits Alastor's character. Also, it means he can still sound terrifying when he's the one who's scared (if he manages to make a distressed gator sound rather than a distressed deer sound that is lol)

And of course, we can't forget the mandatory cute sound, the baby swamp puppy chirps.

If he gets to make fawn noises, you bet your ass he's gonna make swamp puppy laser sounds. The scenarios where he'd make these noises are a lot more rare, but they definitely exist. He wouldn't ever admit it, but he sees Rosie as a mother figure, and just as he tends to greet her with fawn squeaks, Alastor will subconsciously start doing little baby gator chirps when he's looking for her and can't find her. His instincts are to call out to her so she can find him - the same way baby alligators do with their mothers - and the side effect is that he makes cute little laser chirping noises without even realizing it. He has a tendency to do it when he's looking for anyone he likes who is older than him. Zestial finds it charming and the few times it happened to him, Husk refuses to talk about, a lot of mixed feelings brought up by the fact that the man who owns his soul has given him at least somewhat of a parental role subconsciously.

anyways, these were just my thoughts on it, feel free to add on your own or use it as inspiration for your own work (let me know though, I want to see it!!!!) (putting this in the lee!alastor tags to feed the imaginations of my friends there who are always starving for more things)

This was requested by @scourge33 on tumblr, who said, "My request/idea would be a tickle fic with Al and Vox, Al being the lee? But not necessarily enemy torture mode. More as a nostalgic memory of their previous friendship. Or it takes place before they become enemies."

Ask and you shall receive my good fellow

I like to think that their relationship pre-fight was really sweet despite the constant bickering they would probably do lol, so I definitely tried to include that, and the result is this fluffy, violently adorable piece

This is a platonic SFW tickle fic, if that doesn't suit your tastes, then kindly keep scrolling

Alright guys, guess it's my turn to provide the lee!Alastor content since everyone else has these past few weeks. This is a part two to "Consequences" (if you haven't read that, you should, it's in the same series as this one if you want to read it)

I keep ricocheting between qpr radioapple and parent-child bonding between Lucifer and Alastor because my daddy issues demand that I project on Alastor, and Lucifer - an arguably okay father - is right there I just want Alastor to feel safe and protected and cared for, is that too much to ask???

Anyways, hope you all enjoy, let me know what you think!!

Ok, hear me out (angst, bc of course)

I've been having these thoughts bounce around my head for about a week and I finally decided to post them. I don't know who's going to see this, but whoever sees it needed to. I guess this is for an AU rather than a headcanon, but whatever, just hear me out. I was inspired by The Owl House, specifically Hunter, so maybe that will spark some interest. This is about to be a rant, so I'll go ahead and add the read more thing

Okay, now that I have your attention, time for angst.

SO, in The Owl House, we learn in season 2 that (SPOILER ALERT) Hunter is a grimwalker (a clone of someone who died for those of you who don't know), and that before him, there were TONS of other grimwalkers that Belos murdered for "choosing to betray him" AKA realizing that Belos was an evil psychotic bitch. Also, that Hunter looked the most like Caleb (the dead guy he was cloned of) out of all the other grimwalkers, but he didn't KNOW that he was a grimwalker until a very angsty reveal by his abuser (Belos) who then immediately tried to murder his ass.

ANYWAYS, obviously, as the angst-lover I am, I think about this literally all the time. Then. I started thinking. I absolutely love Alastor, he's such a blorbo. And what do I do to my blorbos? I give them immeasurable amounts of trauma, c'mon, keep up.

What do we know about Alastor? Well, someone owns his soul. He disappeared for unknown reasons for seven years. He is INCREDIBLY anxious about whoever owns his soul - or at least the deal itself (as evidenced by his musical breakdown where he literally TEARS HIS OWN HAIR OUT FROM THE STRESS), and that he's probably going to use the deal with Charlie either for nefarious purposes, or to escape his deal.

Which brings us to the point of this post in the first place (kind of???? I might have just been mindlessly rambling there), and the start of my AU. I'm not going to pretend I know who owns Alastor's soul, but I really vibe with the idea of it being either Lilith or Roo, so that's who I'll be thinking of for the majority of this post. What if the person who owns his soul made a deal with him when he first got to hell (or it could be one of those versions where someone sold his soul before he was even born [a sort of "I want your first-born kinda deal] and they let him know when he got to hell which is how he got all his power so quickly), but he managed to either tick them off or get really close to escaping the deal, which lead to them killing Alastor.

Then, the contract-owner realizes, "Oh shit, I kind of need him," and finds out how to make whatever the hell equivalent of a grimwalker is. Thus, Alastor 2.0 is born. However, they can't have him knowing he's a clone - he might find a loophole in the deal that way. So they find a way to control which memories he has. They replace all of the memories the OG Alastor had up until whatever it was he did to get killed in the first place - don't want him getting any ideas after all.

This works fine for the contract-holder for a while, but then Alastor is back on the same shit - trying to find loopholes, backdoors, ticking them off, whatever, and oops, there goes another one. Well shit. Guess it's time to make another clone. So, the process is repeated, and the song and dance continues. However, it always concludes the same way - with Alastor's inevitable "betrayal". Also, none of the clones ever seem to look quite right - sometimes the eye color is wrong, or the height, the cheekbones, or the nose shape - whatever it is, something is always off

So, after many failed attempts, they decide to take a different approach. When they make the new clone, they give them the same memories, everything is the same as the previous attempts, except they don't turn him loose right away. Instead, they keep him under their thumb for seven years - really just until there was something they needed him for. Those seven years were spent conditioning him. They were determined to make him perfect. After all, this clone was the one that looked the most like the original Alastor, there was no way they would let him go like the others.

In his time at their side, Alastor endured unspeakable cruelties - beatings, torture, extreme sensory deprivation, emotional manipulation, sleep deprivation, total isolation - you name it, it was almost certainly done during that time. This is also when his smile was sewn on because the contract holder wanted him to smile more, and used his defense mechanism to torture him (smiled to hide weakness, forced to smile against his will, making the smile itself a constant reminder of how powerless he really is). There was rarely an action Alastor did that provoked his contract holder, but that didn't matter. They convinced him that each "punishment" was earned, that they were simply trying to help him see his own shortcomings and failures, and to make him better. Obviously, this is complete bullshit. However, when you live like that long enough, with no other influences, you become conditioned to believe it.

Eventually, for whatever reason, the contract holder released Alastor on strict orders to go to Charlie's hotel, and Alastor is doing exactly what they told him because he's terrified of the idea of being summoned back to their side. He hates his contract holder, but at the same time craves their approval, because if they're happy with him, then he won't be in pain. However, Alastor has to Alastor, and once he's on his own, he starts looking for ways to escape his deal - but he's sneaky about it. Years of constant conditioning made him cautious. He has no memory of ever searching for loopholes before - a least not successfully (bc the contract holder doesn't let the clones remember those things), so he does the best thing he can think of: he makes a deal with the Princess of Hell herself.

I'm definitely going to make another post about this, probably detailing the reveal. Not right now though because I have homework to do, and this is getting to ungodly lengths

(if you want to see the next part when I post it, keep an eye on the '#grimwalker alastor au' tag. I might just make this a whole thing if anyone is interested. I'll make it a whole thing anyways because I feel like it and deep down I post for myself, but if you're interested, I highly encourage you to ask about it [I don't bite!!])

I love therapy animals, and I show this by giving one to all of my blorbos - because they desperately need them.

This is a (kind of??? QPRs make it confusing) platonic tickle fic, if it's not your cup of tea, just keep scrolling

Just some casual affectionate fluff featuring lee!Alastor and ler!Lucifer to sooth the souls of the people who read my last two fics which were pure unapologetic angst

I was inspired by @greykolla-art to write even more angst! Yay, don't you just love pain? This is inspired by one of their awesome comics (the link is in the fic notes)

Wish I Could Love You

HA, you though that just because the last thing I posted was fluff, that I'd ease off the angst train??? Well April Fools bitches, I'm back with even more angst than before!!!!!

Here's the Ao3 link

TW for some serious acephobia (internalized and otherwise) and references to conversion therapy. Also a bit of self-harm at the end, because Alastor has trichotillomania in canon (as seen during his meltdown). If you want to avoid that, it starts at "Crimson claws" and ends at "tears". It's just one sentence, so you won't miss much. There is also a brief non-con kiss. I just wanted to vent the aroace pain from close friends confessing romantic feelings, and I almost made myself cry at work, so fun times

(PS: this does not mean I think ships with Alastor are not valid. I myself am in a happy long-term relationship. Asexuality and Aromanticism are part of a spectrum which means there are many ways for it to be interpreted by those who identify with the terms. There are a few ships with Alastor that I love, but the people writing them have to be careful to consider his identity while doing so)

ANYWAYS, I'll stop rambling now and let you read the fic

An evening spent with Vox was always guaranteed to be interesting. That was part of what had drawn Alastor to him in the first place after all, the Radio Demon forever seeking entertainment. However, after twenty years of friendship even Alastor could admit he was no longer in it for the entertainment factor. Even through his lifetime of severe emotional repression, Alastor was smart enough to see that he had grown to genuinely care about the TV demon - which had led to quite the emotional meltdown on his part, embarrassingly enough.

All of that was besides the point. The point was that even though they were just having dinner in Vox’s apartment as they did at least once a week, things still had yet to become dull, which was quite the accomplishment for someone whose attention was as flighty as Alastor’s. 

As Vox rambled about this new guy he had met - Mateo? Stephano? No, that wasn’t it - Valentino! As Vox rambled about this Valentino character, Alastor mused on the relationship he had with the TV demon. The red-head had never had a positive relationship with another man before, besides Husker of course. That hardly counted though, considering he owned the former overlord’s soul. Vox was truly a novelty. 

“Hey, Alastor?” The deer demon was pulled from his thoughts by his friend’s slightly hesitant tone. He focused back in on Vox’s face, and was a bit confused by the way Vox’s gaze was darting around the room. It looked like he wanted to look at Alastor but was too flustered to do so, a slight red glow lighting up the lower portion of his screen where his cheeks would be.

“What is it?” Alastor asked, slightly wary of the strange atmosphere that had filled the air around the couch they had chosen to share. His ears pinning back was the only outward sign of his unease. 

Vox finally seemed to get over whatever was keeping him from making eye contact, but Alastor couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t. He didn’t know how to process the unbearably soft way the other was looking at him. His stomach lurched unpleasantly, as though he had missed a stair. 

Vox reached over and gently took Alastor’s hands in his own, and Alastor suddenly found himself wishing he hadn’t set his plate on the coffee table - it would have given him an excuse to avoid this soft contact that felt far too intimate, even with their long-term friendship.

“I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while, but it never felt like the right time.” Vox shifted one hand so that it gently cradled Alastor’s cheek, and as he continued, Alastor’s smile shrunk to the smallest it had been since he had been forced to maintain it - unable to turn downwards, but begging to reflect the dread blooming in his chest.

“But, I’m tired of waiting for ‘the right time’. So, I’m just gonna come out and say it.”

“Vox…please,” Alastor begged, voice refusing to rise above a whisper, and static mangling his words. Internally, he was screaming, begging on his knees for Vox to stop before he said something he couldn’t take back. Vox either didn’t hear him or didn’t understand what he meant, because the TV demon continued forward.

“I love you, Alastor. I have for a long time, and I want to spend the rest of my afterlife loving you. We’ve been friends for such a long time, and I want to move to the next step in our relationship.” Vox was positively beaming, warm love and sincere affection in his eyes as he peered deep into Alastor’s soul - unable to see the pain he had wrought with those three words.

Alastor was crushed. His throat closed up and it felt like a clawed fist had clenched around his chest, his heart aching and lungs unable to draw breath. He tried to choke words past his constricted throat, but couldn’t force anything out. His brows lowered as his scarlet eyes widened, burning with hurt and shock.

Vox’s own brows furrowed in concern at Alastor’s silence. “Alastor?”

Alastor could barely hear him over his rushing thoughts. He felt so…used. How long had their friendship been based around Vox’s desire to get into his pants? What parts of their relationship had been genuine friendship rather than a furthering of Vox’s goals for a romantic partner? Was this Alastor’s fault? Had he done something to encourage this?

The worst part was the guilt. Alastor couldn’t say it about very many people, either in the living world or in Hell, but he truly loved Vox. He loved him as he loved Rosie, and he saw the other demon as the brother he’d never had in life, but that was the problem. He could never give Vox what he wanted. Alastor knew he was broken - the doctors had confirmed as much while he was alive, and the medications and more aggressive treatments he had received for his dysfunction had never worked as intended. 

Vox deserved so much better.

His eyes burned and his stomach clenched with nausea, and Alastor fought back tears that hadn’t fallen since his mother’s passing. Alastor wanted to love Vox that way, if only to spare his feelings, but he just couldn’t. 

Vox leaned forward, taking Alastor’s silence as a positive answer, and as he guided Alastor’s face in for a gentle kiss, the deer demon panicked. He lurched back as their lips connected, accidentally throwing himself off the couch to lay in a crumpled heap on the floor. 

Vox looked startled as he took in Alastor’s panicked expression, and made to stand as Alastor scrambled to his feet. 

“Alastor, what - ?” he started, reaching for the shorter demon’s hand. Alastor jerked back as though he’d been burned.

“Don’t,” he hissed defensively, clutching his hands to his chest like he was afraid to be within touching distance of the other demon. “Don’t touch me!”

Vox looked crushed. Alastor felt as though a spear had stabbed through his heart: he caused that expression on Vox’s face. 

“I won’t - I can’t - !” Alastor growled in pain and frustration, unable to articulate his thoughts. He tried to think of something, anything that could salvage their relationship before things got out of hand, but the rage growing in Vox’s expression burned that possibility into mere ashes. The anger masked the hurt that had been there previously.

“Are you kidding me?!” Vox didn’t quite shout, but to Alastor, he might as well have screamed through a megaphone. The deer demon took two steps back for every advance Vox made, feeling uncharacteristically like prey. He was used to having control over every interaction, but this had quickly spiraled into something monstrous.

“Twenty years of friendship all for you to get pissed when I say I want to progress things like a normal person would?! I waited, wanting you to be comfortable because I know you need time to adjust to people, but you still don’t care about me enough to even consider it?! If you never wanted me, why did you lead me on? Why did you pretend to enjoy my company if you knew you would reject me? Is my pain really that funny to you? Fuck, Alastor - can’t you see how hard I’m trying?” Vox had backed Alastor into a corner, and the deer demon was reminded violently of his youth - long hours spent cowering beneath someone who wanted nothing more than to make Alastor wish he was never born.

Alastor hadn’t felt this small since he had made his deal, and he had never assumed he would feel that way around Vox. The Radio Demon was so overwhelmed with emotion, that he did the one thing he had promised himself he would never do again.

He ran.

As Alastor fled into his shadows, he felt Vox’s arms try to wrap around him and prevent his escape, and heard the TV demon’s frustrated and agonized cry as he slipped under the door. He didn’t stop until he reached his radio tower, and reverted back to his more solid form once he was safely inside.

Alastor backed away from the door until his back hit the wall, and he slowly slid down it until he was sitting on the floor with his knees curled to his chest. A soft, staticky whimper forced its way past his lips before he could silence it, and the tears he’d been fighting finally burned fiery tracks down his cheeks. Alastor’s breath hitched, and he buried his face in his knees, wrapping his arms around his head and legs in a futile attempt to muffle the choked hiccups.

Sobs tore out of his throat from a place deep within his chest, wracking his whole body with the force of them. Stitches pulled at the corners of his mouth, forcing him to grin through his tears, and he had never wished so strongly for the ability to stop smiling. Crimson claws fisted in his hair, scratching at his scalp in his panic and sending small rivulets of blood down his face to merge with the tears.

Alastor had just destroyed one of his closest relationships because he was so broken that he couldn’t even reciprocate affection normally. It was all his fault, and the guilt tore at him in ways he hadn’t felt in decades.

Drowning in grief for the bridge he’d set ablaze, Alastor couldn’t stop thinking about how - outside of his treatment plans - Vox had stolen his first kiss.

I finally finished part 1 or my Rosie animation, this took weeks, I might take a bit of a break before i start on the other parts, my birthday’s tomorrow aswell🎉❤️ Yippee✨ By the way this is Rosie’s voice actor speaking, Leslie Kritzer

Hi there!

Would you please make some platonic Alastor x reader headacanons? Basically, best friend hc's :)

Alastor x Reader: Bestfriend headcanons

A/n: Ofc !! Best friend headcanons are fun as hell to write 😽 (writers block is killing me rn tho so I’m sorry if this is bad, I have some more headcanons kinda similar to this here andddd here)

Warnings: none

Fluff✔️ Comfort❌ Angst❌ Smut❌

📻𖤐 Gossip sessions with Alastor would actually be the best omg

📻𖤐 Would 1000% shit talk with you about like… almost everybody.

📻𖤐 Would not have the sessions over tea though, he hates tea and prefers to drink just straight up black coffee (sometimes with a splash of cream, depends on the day)

📻𖤐 Bro does NOT know how to ask to hangout properly. He just shows up and expects you to be ready for his arrival 😭😭

📻𖤐 Like literally he will just randomly materialize himself in your room and stares at you (not exactly quietly though, silly radio man makes radio sounds)

📻𖤐 You’re his bestie? Congrats !! You now have the privilege of getting to manhandle him

📻𖤐 Then again it kinda depends on what mood he’s in. Grumpy? No touch. Happy? Calm?? Sure !!

📻𖤐 How to even become Alastor’s best friend?? Well…

📻𖤐 He’s quite literally a magnet for sweet women. Be a sweet woman who’s maybe batshit crazy as well and you’re pretty much set /hj

📻𖤐 But obviously you do have to be entertaining or interesting to him as well.

📻𖤐 He’s a biter. He bites to show affection 😭

📻𖤐 I know I’ve said this and referenced this a LOT but dancing with him??? He loves it. No matter the time or place.

📻𖤐 PROTECTIVE.

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞

ᯓ★ 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐠𝐠𝐲