You Can Pry Buff Celebrimbor Out Of My Cold Dead Hands. He Is A Blacksmith. He Is A Grandson Of Fëanor.

Spoilers for Rings of Power s2, ep5!!

Screw Annatar. I want to gouge his eyes out with a spoon. I want to cut his ears off. I want him to have Celebrimbor's fate. The Everlasting Darkness is not enough; I want to wring his neck like a wet rag and not in a good way. He is hypocritical, manipulative asshole and I want him gone. Charlie Vickers has magically managed to make me hate Annatar even MORE, and I applaud him; good acting has moved me to further dislike of this character.

And that smarmy little BITCH from Numenor. It was iconic when all of the King's Men still called Elendil "Captain", and even better when they said, "Valar bless you". As a religious person, this struck my soul. What struck my soul even more was when that scrawny little-- lemme not say. But when that guy, Pharazôn's apprentice whose name I don't even want to learn, desecrated the temple!!!!! He destroyed a relic likely from the First Age!!!! He KILLED VALANDIL IN A HOLY PLACE. Not only was I sad to see such a strong supporter of Numenor's Faithful perish, it was how it happened that saddened me the most.

Valandil prayed for the Valar's forgiveness (slay of him) and fought Smarmy Bitch, and it was great!!! Not very honorable in my book, but I loved to see it!!! And then, Smarmy Bitch tried to drown him, but Valandil took the upper hand, either dislocated his shoulder or broke his elbow, and pointed Smarmy Bitch's own sword at him!!! But then, he took the high road; he showed mercy, even when he didn't want to. He chose to value life instead of take it. BUT GUESS WHAT SMARMY BITCH DID?

Smarmy Bitch stabbed him in the back. Literally. As Valandil chose to be the better man, to be honorable and good, Smarmy Bitchy chose the opposite.

It was heartbreaking to watch Elendil cradle Valandil as he died, someone he likely saw as a third son (You know, with Isildur and Anarion).

It was interesting to watch Smarmy Bitch wash his sword in the water. It was almost symbolic of how he washed the blood away; he thinks that he is cleansing Numenor of her past, creating a brighter future. He is misled. Instead of cleaning her bloody sins, he is demonstrating that those in power, those who agree with the king, can get away from anything. He can get away with murder in front of countless witnesses; he can tell the guards that Valandil was the first aggressor; he can manipulate the variables to his side all because of Pharazôn's favor.

And the storming of a religious building, complete disregard for the peoples' privacy and respect, I found terrible.

And poor Durin and Disa. Their king has gone corrupt with the power of the ring, and will not see reason. The tree that Elrond gave Durin is dying, symbolizing the growing, yet strained, relationship between the dwarves and the elves, as well as Khazad-dûm's slow descent. The Doors of Durin were a delight to see, but Annatar's jealous, manipulative reaction hurt my heart. Celebrimbor only sought to do good, to honor his grandfather by making powerful, good things like Fëanor tried to do. But just like with Morgoth's whispers, Celebrimbor is facing the same manipulation by a similar force. Sure, Fëanor did not trust Morgoth,but he heeded his words and let them plant the seeds of distrust in his mind.

And poor Celebrimbor; I mourn for him already. He is falling swiftly to Annatar's game. You can watch as Annatar grows closer to him, Celebrimbor grows less stable, more agitated, and more harried. When Annatar said that Celebrimbor should head for Lindon, implying that he would rule in Celebrimbor's stead, was a terrifying thing to see. Thankfully, Celebrimbor knew not to leave his city in the hands of a Maia who was likely beginning to distrust.

And by the end of the episode, after Celebrimbor declared that they were to make the nine rings for men, he looked terrible. He looked close to tears, knowing that he was making the wrong decision but still felt it was necessary, for it would fix a wrong that he had not, or had accidentally, made. He needs that First Age bottle; better yet, one of the Trees.

And Sauron. You whorey bitch. You tell that nice elven lady that she looks like Galadriel. Sure, she knows it's a compliment; to be compared to daughter of Finarfin in beauty is a very fine thing to say, but she does not realize that Annatar's honeyed words will lead only to horror.

And Annatar. Are you looking for a rebound? Afraid the exes are unionizing? Because Adar and Galadriel looked close to an alliance, last I saw.

And once again, I want to know where Celeborn is. I know he won't be in this season, but still. I miss my little guy. And ngl, when those orcs kept growling at Galadriel, I thought she was going to growl back 😭😭. Frankly, I wanted her to; at least bare her teeth, let them know she was not afraid.

AND LASTLY, the name drops!!! Eärendil, Tuor, Beren!!! Even Barahir!!! All great men who had elven sugar mommies!!!!! Minus Barahir, though.

"Dennis the Menace" AU but it's Elros and Maedhros

Crablor when Elrond tries to drag him to Valinor

FRICK I haven't had breakfast and want some GRITS and I'm writing so my CHARACTERS are going to eat some GRITS because I SAY SO and because I'm HUNGRY but my characters' culture doesn't ADD UP with GRITS but they're EATING IT ANYWAY BECAUSE IM HUNGRY

MAEDHROS AND GEORGE WASHINGTON ARE THE SAME PERSON

- both are unusually tall

- both are quiet and reserved

- both are redheads

- both are military leaders

A cursed thought just occured to me and I decided to make you all suffer to

So in Tolkien lore elves are immortal right? After a certain point they don't age and will just keep living, save for the intervention of accidents, illness/poison, or very pointy objects. This leads to a whole laundry list of questions on biology but there's one in particular I want to bite into today(pun much intended).

Teeth.

How do elf teeth work? Because the main issue with teeth over time is that they wear down with use. This is not as much of a problem in modern times, we are spoiled with a lot of very soft easy to chew food, but it's still a thing and historicaly you wore down your teeth alot over the course of your life. Things like smoking a pipe can carve a grove in your teeth where you hold the pipe stem.

And this means that if you're immortan and alive long enough, your teeth will wear down to nothing because elves do need to eat. But obviously Galadriel and Elrond aren't looking like grandmas who forgot their dentures, so elves must have something to solve this.

I therefor present my 3 running theories for how elves keep their teeth:

- The OP Teeth Of Steel Theory

Elf teeth are simply to strong to wear down. A bit boring if you ask me.

- The Elves Are Rodents Theory

Rodent front teeth grow continiously their entire life, it's realy cool. It's also why they're always chewing on things, because if they don't their teeth will grow so long it stops them from eating. This theory proposes elf teeth also just grow forever(this could lead to a extremely annoying habit of elves to grind their teeth to keep them down, but oh well).

- The Elves Are Sharks Theory

Sharks tackle the problem of teeth by simply?

Growing more teeth?

Like they just keep loosing teeth and growing new ones. For elves this could mean that when a tooth gets to worn it simply falls out and a new one grown in, like human milk teeth but their entire life.

This was all writen in about 10min while getting ready for bed, so please enjoy these lovely cursed thoughts while I escape to dreamland :)

@tathrin

PLEASEEE I WANT THE CELEBRIMBANNER

RANDOM SILM CHARACTERS FAVE SOUPS (because it's finally getting cold where I live)

Fëanor: tomato soup. No grilled cheese. Nerdanel (and the rest of his family) thinks this is terrifying. Solid color (and red), he likes the consistency.

Nerdanel: beefy stew. A very hearty soup for someone who is probably very strong. Gotta get that protein for chiseling out some marble 💪💪

Maedhros: Zuppa Toscana. Flavorful, a lil spicy, and has some potatoes in it. Perfect.

Maglor: chicken noodle with tri color rotini. My dad likes the tri color rotini, and Maglor gives dad vibes

Celegorm: no salt added bone broth. Do NOT EVER eat any soup he offers.

Curufin: French onion. Bougie guy. Likes to take the bread off the top and eat it separate. Celebrimbor thinks he's crazy.

Caranthir: miso soup. Add spicy soup dumplings. Was begrudgingly taught how to make soup dumplings in his youth by Finwe, forgot, and was then re-taught by Haleth.

Amrod: chili. Warm and filling, likes it with tortilla chips, cheese, sour cream, the whole shebang. He does not usually like beans, but will tolerate them for chili.

Amras: corn chowder; nice and creamy, preferably with some thick toast to dip it in. He likes it thin, not thickened with a flour/corn starch slurry, so it's kinda weird.

Celebrimbor: potato soup. All the way. He does not skimp on the garnishes of bacon and cheese: to him, they are not garnishes, but added, necessary ingredients (me too, bro).

I had potato soup for dinner because by brother did not want the zuppa toscana that I wanted to make.

Celeborn Teleporno

Reblog if you agree

TROP SEASON FINALE SPOILERS!!!!!

Elrond, my baby, my little guy, my poor soul.

DWARF RANT:

King Durin, may you rest in the Halls of Aule with honor.

I've seen a common theme in this series: people who had lost their minds, but found them in the last moment of shocking clarity that was (almost) their last noble act.

Celebrimbor, cutting off his thumb to escape (Which was very "I'm honoring my Uncle Maedhros" core, which I very much appreciate) and saying, "Whose will is the mightier?"

I can go on another rant about that phrase and the implications, but that was last episode.

King Durin III awoke the balrog, literally Durin's Bane.

Prince Durin and Disa's kiss was iconic, fyi.

Prince Durin tried so hard to help his father, but in the end, he couldn't stop him. Well, he alone couldn't stop his father; what truly set King Durin over the edge was the knowledge that his son might die. King Durin saw the balrog, something that he had willingly called forth, and went, "Holy shit, get the boy OUT". And how did King Durin get his boy out of the balrog's fire? He sacrificed himself.

Throughout this entire season, I have seen nothing but poor parenting from King Durin; he never listened to his son's advice; he literally shoved him away, and into a wall (My first thought was, "CHILD ABUSE!!! CHILD ABUSE!!!! GO GET DWARF DFCS!!!"). But here, we see the true affection King Durin had for his son.

The cataclysm that brought King Durin clarity was not anything his son could have done by himself, but the knowledge that his son was helpless. King Durin was not going to let his son suffer something of his own making, so he charged the balrog.

And then died.

HUMAN RANT:

Okay, so Kemen (I finally learned his name, unfortunately) needs to get off of his swampy ass and tumble into a grave. It'd be so simple; Isildur just needs to *grab by lapels* *shift three spaces to the right* *drop in hole*. Simple! Easy solution! Would the Valar be very happy? Probably not, but hey! We'd get rid of Kemen!

And I do appreciate Earien's technically treasonous act for her father; by now, she is a pretty prominent figure in Numenorean politics; the right hand of the king's right hand.

And you know what confused me?

The way Pharazon---I'm not calling him Ar-Pharazon, he doesn't deserve that---gathered up all of the RELIGIOUS LEADERS of the Faithful and said, "Yeah, sorry you're conspiring with Sauron, aka the DEVIL so you and all of the Faithful are to be arrested. Sorry."

One of the main things that always strikes a cord for me is religious freedom; when these wrongs are shown in this show, it makes me SO angry, because people should be able to practice their faith freely, regardless of whatever religion the government favors.

The sacking of Nienna's temple, the prosecution of the Faithful in earlier episodes, and now the legit imprisoning of people who are Faithful.

Recently, I have been reading "The Crucible" in class, and we have been discussing the causes and effects of mass hysteria, one of the contributing factors of the Salem Witch Hunts. I feel like there might be bought of mass hysteria going around Numenor now; the king/queen-ship is a major dispute, the Faithful are being arrested, major political and social leaders of the community have been imprisoned. People can likely accuse others of being Faithful (Even if they aren't) because of petty rivalries. In the Crucible, Mr. Putnam accused George Jacobs, his neighbor who had lots of land, of witchcraft, so that he would be able to purchase his land.

How many people in Numenor would face a similar dilemma?

Would Mr. Smith the Sailor accuse Mrs. Johnson the Tailor of being an Elf-Friend because her tapestries looked a little too much like those of Vaire? But it doesn't matter that Mrs. Johnson's only daughter is of marriageable age and Mr. Smith has had his eye on her. But who would be watching that if Mrs. Johnson was an Elf-Friend?

All of these factors are the most basic ingredient for a good ol' bought of mass hysteria; my English teacher doesn't watch this show, but I'm tempted to tell her the similarities.

then, to Isildur.

I thought Theo and Isildur's hug was very nice.

Theo was like, "Ah, yes, I shall bid my friend farewell after discussing the traumatic deaths of our mothers. I wish him well!"

And Isildur's like, "Why is the kid who hated me yesterday wanting a hug???"

I always got bad vibes from Estrid. I get swearing servitude to Adar in exchange for your life, I get that, but.

I never felt comfortable with her and Isildur's relationship. I get that she wasn't able to decipher her feelings for Hagen, her betrothed, until she met Isildur, but seriously. I also know that Isildur has an "unnamed wife" (SCREW THE NOT NAMING OF FEMALE CHARACTERS IT MAKES ME ANGRY), so I know he's gonna get somebody EVENTUALLY, and before Numenor sinks.

But then, Isildur and Estrid started MAKING OUT in Theo's kitchen. Like, bro. THAT'S NOT YOUR HOUSE!!!! Do that ELSEWHERE!!!!! Better yet, don't even do it!

And then, that slimy bitch Kemen had to stroll up, all, "Yeah, we'll put the watchtower there, knock down a few houses to do it." And then, he tries to be all buddy-buddy with Isildur, who obviously realizes that something is a bit off.

Then, Kemen drops the ball, saying that his father is wanted for treason, Queen Miriel is no longer queen, and "low men" are not allowed in Numenor.

First off: very classist of you, go kill yourself, Kemen.

Second off: Isildur learns that the woman he saved from the fire is no longer queen; is he thinking that his sacrifice, everything that he's endured in Middle Earth, has been for naught?

Third off: Kemen mentioned Earien. Does Isildur know that his sister has gotten a little racist in his absence? How will he react to seeing his sister betray their entire family by literally trying to put them all in prison (Anarion, Elendil, AND Isildur)?

Kinda happy that Estrid wasn't going to Numenor. Don't like the circumstances, but I'm glad that she isn't going.

I also think that Earien is coming to her senses; she might not have wanted Miriel on the throne, but now, Pharazon's tyranny is affecting HER. HER family is being prosecuted. HER father is wanted for "treason". HER people are at risk. Earien is getting a rude awakening to this thing.

I also think that its interesting how that guard left when Earien told him to; it shows how people in power are STILL defying the law in Numenor, all because, "Oh, she knows the king's son."

Of course, Earien did this for a good reason, but it still demonstrates the corruption of Numenor's political system.

Then, Miriel and Elendil. As I was watching this my mom, I was like, "Hey, do you ship it?" and she was like, "Oh, yeah" and I was like, "Good, my assumptions are not unfounded."

So yeah, Anarion, Isildur, and Earien are going to be getting a step-mom, good for them!!

What messed me up was when Miriel was like, "No Elendil, you must go, I will stay." Like Elendil (And us) were under the impression that she would remain with the Faithful; Elendil draped the cloak over her shoulders and she didn't flinch, she listened to his plan, but when the time came to make the decision she stayed. Frankly, I don't understand WHY, but go off girlie, I guess.

ELVES:

Okay, so Galadriel getting the refugees out of Eregion, I really liked; in cannon, Galadriel and many of Eregion's fled Eregion and headed south. Then, Galadriel gave up the Nine to save the refugees (Iconic, Queen Behavior), and we see Adar, leaning against a fallen tree. Is he injured? Is he hiding? Has his hand been conveniently cut off by some guy on an eagle? What happened?

After dismissing the orcs, Adar turns around. At first, I didn't see any difference (I'm not very observant, sometimes, alright?), until I looked a little closer. His face was no longer scared and burned; his hair seemed thicker, cleaner; he looked less gaunt. The ring had healed him.

And then, Galadriel asked for his name, but he evaded the question, like a little BITCH.

"Adar was the name I chose for myself" blah, blah, blah, bah, JUST SAY MAKALAURE YOU IDIOT!!! Sure, there are some details in cannon that don't line up (Maglor wasn't strung up on Thangorodrim, Maedhros was) but here's the thing: not only has trop changed a few things, it made some things more accessible.

In trop, Elrond and Elros were found by Galadriel after the Third Kinslaying, not the sons of Feanor. Celebrimbor was supposed to be tortured for TWO YEARS before his death. Celeborn is still supposed to be present.

I also have a cannon-probable idea for Maglor being Adar; in Maglor's trauma and grief at loosing his last and first brother, could he have not clung to his brother, in all aspects? Maglor may have curated this story of hanging from a cliff because that's what happened to his brother, that idea is what keeps him close. The things about being with the orcs and Sauron, I can't really explain for this idea. That's just about as far as I got.

But Adar WILLINGLY returned the ring to Galadriel, proving that he truly meant to defeat Sauron with elven help. But then, there is an injured Uruk nearby, and Adar goes to help; he might not even be able to heal him, but he will be with that Uruk in his last moments.

And then.

The Uruk, Glug, I think? leapt up and stabbed him. All of the others followed suit. It was a mirror to Sauron's own death in the first episode: betrayed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed, stabbed---

You get the gist.

By the end, Adar is well and truly gone. He raises his hand to touch one of the orcs, his children, and calls them such, but the orc stabs him again, one, final time.

The entire situation is disheartening; sure Adar might have been willing to risk his "children" in his hunt for revenge against Sauron, but he cared about them, well and truly. In exchange, the orcs killed him for his kindness.

In the end, I really do want to know who Adar was before his chaining to a mountain. Did he have a family? People he loved? He must have come from Cuivienen, so he probably did.

I also wonder where he would go after death. Now that his hroa (Physical body) is well and truly... extinguished, where will his fea (Spirit) go? Do orcish fear (Spirit, plural) go to the Halls of Mandos, or somewhere else?

Adar looked vaguely elven; he could walk in sunlight, unlike his children. I feel like he should go to the Halls of Mandos; he did many terrible things, but were they not in the pursuit of good?

Then, Celebrimbor's death (These are not in the order of the scenes, just what I remember).

We see streaks of blood on stone floor, and we know something has happened.

Then, there's Celebrimbor, BEING USED AS TARGET PRACTICE, with arrows in his arms. Sauron stand over him, grim, and he wants to know where the rings are. They bicker and banter, there's some (un)healthy badinage, and Sauron STILL says that Celebrimbor's pain is HIS fault, that Celebrimbor brought this upon himself. Even though Celebrimbor is well and truly destroyed, Sauron STILL wants to have Celebrimbor guilt-ridden and full of self-loathing. It sickens me.

And then, Celebrimbor has something to say. He says, "forsee", and Sauron stops. I doubt Celebrimbor has had many visions of foresight, but the line of Finwe is not without them; did Miriel not have a vision of foresight to name her son Feanaro? Was Galadriel not gifted in seeing versions of the future? So it is possible, especially since Celebrimbor is SPOT ON. It WILL be one ring that brings about Sauron's downfall, and Sauron will fall. Sauron realizes this, and runs him through with a spear. Celebrimbor is lifted onto the pillar (Which is what I think we're going to get as the Celebrimbanner, unfortunately; I would have loved to see his cannonical death) and finally dies.

Then, Galadriel and Sauron's duel. Sauron turns into different people to try and fool Galadriel, but by now, she is used to trickery. He turns into puppy-dog-eyed Halbrand (Annatar was literally just Halbrand in a heat-damaged wig and shaved, Celebrimbor should have seen that IMMEDIATELY). Then, he's Galadriel herself, depicting her darkest, most evil deeds and desires. Then, Celebrimbor, mocking her for her retreat. Franky, I thought he was going to be Finrod as well, but alas, it was not so.

And then, he stabbed her with the crown (rude) and Galadriel, salty to the last, PRETENDED to give Sauron the ring. Very slowly, just to watch the pride and greed flash in his eyes, and then, "If I can't have it, then neither can you." Not what she said, but what she MEANT.

And girlie does and Elwing. Too many people in season two have dove off of cliffs; Elrond failed to beat the mama's boy allegations by jumping off a cliff with an object of power (In this case, three). And I was wondering if these guys actually thought that Ulmo was gonna come in clutch and turn them into birds. I mean, he did it for Elwing, so why not her son? Why not some other random person jumping off of a cliff?

In the end, Gil-Galad approaches (I'll get to that part in the beginning with Gilly and Elrond, hold on) and knows that Galadriel cannot be healed. She has the Second Age equivalent of a Morgul wound. It festers with dark magic and cannot be healed.

But who do they have?

THE healer!

The top dog of his graduation class from Lindon's School of Magical and Physical Healing!! Elrond Peredhel Earendilion whatever other name you give him! He's THE healer! Just standing there!

So of course, Mr. Healer is all dramatic, like, "No, we can heal her" through the power of friendship of course, and perhaps these magical rings.

I do think it's interesting how the rings will heal scarring and a Morgul wound; I think they only heal physical wounds, not those done to the spirit (Fea).

And then, we appear in a grassy, bright area, with Gil-Galad watching over Galadriel. He says that it is safe, a sanctuary made by the rings. This is, of course, the beginnings of Imladris, Rivendell, the Last Homely House. In cannon, Elrond and refugees of Eregion fled north, and founded Rivendell.

The river down the center HAS to be the Anduin, I guarantee it.

When the offer of the sword or shield pops up, I though that Galadriel would choose the shield; after all, this series is basically about how Galadriel went from a brutish, hyper-angry, traumatized elleth to a proud, wise, kind Lady of Lothlorien. I thought she would choose the shield, protect what her people had lost so much of, but she remains silent. Gil-Galad chooses the sword.

That scene of the elves raising their fists in defiance felt odd to me; even the children were seen raising their hands. Elves reach their majority at approx. 100 years, so what are these children, who have never seen battle and bloodshed except for that day, doing, wanting to wage war? It reminds me of Feanor and the unrest of the Noldor; a people that knew no bloodshed, and in their innocence, went to their deaths. It worries me.

Alright, one of my favorite parts: Elrond and the Scrolls.

Elrond, Gil-Galad, and Arondir are brough to a city square and we see orcs piling scrolls to be burned. Elrond, who is obviously a scholar, I mean look at him, is outraged. Not only are these the last ties he has to his cousin Celebrimbor, they also hold invaluable scientific information; it's like destroying the elven version of the Library of Alexandria.

Then, my baby boy Gil-Galad is at sword-point (Very scary, but I know what his doom is so I wasn't THAT scared), and just barely saved. Ngl, I had thought Arondir had died in Episode 7, so it was good to see him still kicking!

My favorite parts were Celebrimbor and Annatar's scenes and Elrond's dismay at the scrolls. I would also like to say that I think Gil-Galad slayed in every scene he was in.

Well, then. I must go google when Season Three is expected to show up.