Latest Posts by welivetodream - Page 10

There's a huge difference between living and existing. If all you do is exist, when would you live?

~my biology teacher

Competed Gossip girl (the og series) yesterday:

Here's my thoughts (SPOILERS) and don't hate me plz for my opinions, they don't matter.

1. Serena: AHHHHHHHHH she is so.....infuriating, hypocritical and has no substance, character growth, ANYTHING. She is not even interesting like Blair or Georgina. I stopped caring about her mid season 3. I did not care what happened to her after that. Only Blake lively made her bareable enough that I rooted for her to end up alone in the series and actually learn that she needs no man to have a happy life. Also she married her ex-step brother with whom she shares a sibling. Yikes.

2. Blair: I love Blair. She is an icon, she is a legend, she is the moment. I know she has done some bad shit. But I don't mind that cuz all the people are shitty. She owns her evilness. She also is so entertaining. I know Blair can be immature and bratty at times but at least she has some ambition about unlike her bsf. The friendship between Dan and Blair was heartwarming. Her dreams of becoming a princess and yale are relatable. Overall there's so much in Blair that you can't help loving her. (I think her banning Jenny from UES was the worst thing)

3. Chuck: Hate him. Why? Cuz he is Chuck Bass. I don't have to say more then, I don't know: the pilot, Jenny Humphrey, selling Blair for a hotel, SA, hitting Blair etc.....etc. I can go on but I don't want to talk about him at all.

4. Nate: um. He is pretty. He can be charming at times. He dates older women (or younger women). He......is the good guy (?)

5. Dan: if we forget the STUPID reveal that Dan was Gossip girl. He isn't much of a complex person after season one. He was compelling in 1st season and when he was friends with and dated Blair. He has the Humphery ideal of pitying themselves and also makes terrible decisions, having Vanessa as a friend for example. I have no idea why Serena liked him at all except that Serena is into artsy-serious-fake nice guys.

6. Jenny Humphrey: I LOVE Jenny Humphrey. She is so hated in the GG community. She never did anything as bad as Blair, Chuck or even Dan. Her storyline about becoming a fashion designer, throwing a guerillla fashion show and constant butting heads with Blair was amazing. DON'T hate my girl. (Also Taylor gets a lot of hate for making Jenny's character worse, but it was the writer's fault). She got hate so much for the Chuck situation when HE was more in the wrong.

"That's the real sickness here, your righteousness and hypocrisy. It's the simple fact that you can't live by the rules you set, yet you still pretend. This is your world. You bulit this. If it's too strict, tear it the fuck down. But don't look at me. Don't take your hate out on me, I just got here. And I have no clue where to go, because from the moment I arrived, all I was ever given were orders. 'Smile. Open up. Cross your legs. Speak softer. Scream louder. Be quiet. Be confident. Be an angel. Be a whore. Be a princess. Be anything you want to be'...."

~Assassination nation, 2018.

And not to forget Richard is looking back at his college years and the events were not happening at the same time. So it is possible the way he tells the story is to hide a lot of details, or maybe he just forgot all the details. The romanticized way he puts most things always felt to me like a bandage on a wound as if he was covering the darker parts of the story. Almost all the characters are gay to an extent, as if Donna was trying to just confuse us which I think fits for what the story is about. Personally I don't eaxctly ship any of them lol. Francis's sexuality was always considered by everyone as gay but it's not ever confirmed that he can bi or pan or something else.

I put the book down and put my hands on my mouth when we got the incest reveal, it made me....sick. It wasn't that shocking since Richard literally thought they were a couple before he was told they were twins. It was Charles's dark side reveal that shocked me and disgusted me more (thank god, Henry took her away from Charles at the right time). I also think the reason Charles was obsessed with Camilla might be because of the greek thing, maybe he took Julian's greek ideals to heart. I also think Henry and Camilla as a couple isn't really romantic (it could be seen as one) but it seemed quite mild incomparison to what others were up to.

This book is so messy. It keeps me up at night. The problem is I don't know anyone who has read it near me, so these hcs keep me alive.

So, for my sanity. Let me get this straight (lol); Henry was in love with Camilla and she was in love with him. And Richard was also in love with Camilla but she friendzoned him. Francis and Camilla had kissed (twice) and Charles was furious. Francis was flirting with Richard the entire time ( "cubitum eamus") Richard fantasized about spending his old years with Francis (and they kissed ofc). Richard also described Henry in a very no homo way. Francis and Charles were secretly hooking up. And so were Charles and Camilla (also, Charles was an abuser, why don't people talk about that more?). Richard described Camilla to look very masculine and like Charles to a tee, so he also liked Charles (?). Bunny was a huge homophobe, kinda sus; also had a strange interest in Henry. And Henry was probably in love with Julian (that little weird kiss mentioned ounce). I am a missing something?

Donna. Donna. Donna, what tf is this book is about?

Really, Donna kept a lot of the relationships quite ambiguous and we see them through Richard's eyes ( and he is not exactly reliable). I never understood the whole Henry and Camilla relationship, though it was hinted quite early and often.

And Francis and Charles relationship is also quite ambiguous. And we don't know how long it's been going on. Maybe Charles doesn't remember, maybe he just pretends not to (again Richard is not a reliable narrator; also kinda clueless)

Charles kind of broke my whole idea of the story entirely by turning out like be did and it made me put down the book for some time.

And that was not really a rant, I like discussing opinions on my favourite books especially as messy as this one.

So, for my sanity. Let me get this straight (lol); Henry was in love with Camilla and she was in love with him. And Richard was also in love with Camilla but she friendzoned him. Francis and Camilla had kissed (twice) and Charles was furious. Francis was flirting with Richard the entire time ( "cubitum eamus") Richard fantasized about spending his old years with Francis (and they kissed ofc). Richard also described Henry in a very no homo way. Francis and Charles were secretly hooking up. And so were Charles and Camilla (also, Charles was an abuser, why don't people talk about that more?). Richard described Camilla to look very masculine and like Charles to a tee, so he also liked Charles (?). Bunny was a huge homophobe, kinda sus; also had a strange interest in Henry. And Henry was probably in love with Julian (that little weird kiss mentioned ounce). I am a missing something?

Donna. Donna. Donna, what tf is this book is about?

So, for my sanity. Let me get this straight (lol); Henry was in love with Camilla and she was in love with him. And Richard was also in love with Camilla but she friendzoned him. Francis and Camilla had kissed (twice) and Charles was furious. Francis was flirting with Richard the entire time ( "cubitum eamus") Richard fantasized about spending his old years with Francis (and they kissed ofc). Richard also described Henry in a very no homo way. Francis and Charles were secretly hooking up. And so were Charles and Camilla (also, Charles was an abuser, why don't people talk about that more?). Richard described Camilla to look very masculine and like Charles to a tee, so he also liked Charles (?). Bunny was a huge homophobe, kinda sus; also had a strange interest in Henry. And Henry was probably in love with Julian (that little weird kiss mentioned ounce). I am a missing something?

Donna. Donna. Donna, what tf is this book is about?

Hermione: do you know people are mostly killed during the night by their own spouses ?

Ron: why the fuck would you say that?

Hermione: it's a fun fact....and facts are true.

Ron: .....

Hermione: you actually don't think I would kill you right?

Ron: Mom, come pick me up I am scared.

As an INTP. It's really hard to exist in a world that feels so integrated for sensors or people with high Fi/Fe. I just feel like an alien among my peers. I don't speak in class. I don't have many friends. I hate my incompetent and overly strict teachers. I don't get social cues and dynamics. I don't get inside jokes. I don't get why I have to know the stuff they teach me. I don't think I should trust my teenage mind to pick a career for the rest of the life. Everything seems bleak and boring.

It sucksss when you are not good at maths and physics and all that nonsense that people care for. It hurts when you don't get to be appreciated for your talents beacuse people don't care about the things you are good at. Especially being an INTP, it's hard to ignore that most of other INTPs are known for being the math and computer nerd (not a huge fan of computer either).

I want to read poetry and dissect 19th cen. novels and their themes. I want to debate on philosophy and politics. I want to write essays and articles on global issues. I want to read books by authors all around the world.

It took me some time to realise (not really, I always knew) that I was made not for the STEM subjects. I was made for the art, the history, the love for literature. As John Keating said in dead poet's society;

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for"

The thinkers gang be like:

ENTP: I was thinking we can make our own club since nobody likes us!

INTJ: they don't like us for a reason

INTP: we make them feel bad and say inappropriate things in wrong situations.

ENTJ: well their feelings aren't our problem, we just try to be realistic and logical when they are not

INTJ: I couldn't care less about it

ENTP: INTP and I have extroverted feeling so yes we DO care about them

INTP: its my greatest flaw

ENTJ: I do like to hang out with people, they just get offended so easily! Jeez they are sensitive

ENTP: Hear! Hear!

INTJ: I would be a flat earther before I make friends with dumb people.

INTP: I so agree with you, like yesterday ENFP comes me to and says my argument is wrong beacuse it breaks their heart! Do you know what else they said?

ENTP: what?

INTP: "we all have our own truths and facts are.....subjective"

ENTP,ENTJ,INTJ: Nooooo

INTP: Ikr

ENTP: We don't deserve this! Maybe we are insensitive, annoying, condescending assholes, that doesn't make us any worse than they are! Cheers my friends!

INTJ: we are friends?

INTP: aren't we siblings?

ENTJ: hey! I am not the asshole, you all are.

ENTP: they are so right about us

I love that the gang never truly felt bad for killing Bunny, in the sense of grief (ngl I would have killed him too). Even in his funeral instead of feeling guilty for his death they are fanning flies, drinking, doing drugs and popping random pills they found in someone's drawer. They were chaotic af.

Because I could not stop for Death –

He kindly stopped for me –

The Carriage held but just Ourselves –

And Immortality.

~Emliy Dickinson

The person I hate the most in the world will always be my 12th grade Maths teacher (who would have been fired if he wasn't from my shitty country)

I quit reading If We Were Villians when I thought James and Oliver are doomed to not be together. I have tried to complete the last few pages but I can't. I had never rooted for a couple more than I did for them. I even got jealous with them when they were both with different people. I have spoiled as well as guessed what happens in the end (the Shakespeare format spolied more than it should have) and I don't think I could EVER finish the book. Few books break my heart, but this one surely did.

TW:

It's really hard to be someone with a superiority complex and an inferiority complex at the same time.

Ps: also have GAD, BDD, ED, OCD and other things haven't discovered yet.

Person: did you like the love triangle in the Secret history?

Me: oh you mean the love Hexagon? Loved it!

Richard: who are them?

Judy: those are the weirdo greek kids, or as we affectionately call them "douchebags"

Judy: that little one is Francis Abernathy, he's rich as shit and cares about nobody.

Jud: he knows everything about everyone, that's why his coats are so big

Frank: they are full of secrets...

Richard: he looks cool.

Judy: whatever. See those two, don't be fooled, they are Charles and Camilla Macaulay, they are twins.

Jud: they might look like little angels but they are the one's who cause the real trouble.

Frank: they are also really incestuous.

Judy: the big blond one is Bunny Corcoran, he is one of the dumbest people you will ever meet.

Jud: he asked me how to spell "Metahemeralism"

Frank: he is the guy everyone loves to hate.

Richard: and who's the one in a suit?

Judy: .....that is Henry Winter, he is the leader of the group. He the richest, the smartest and the most insane out of all of them. How do I begin to explain Henry Winter....

Richard: I feel challenged.

Judy: it's okay, we can be your friends...

Richard: I am gonna go study greek, bye!

Judy: *sighs*

What is your ideal life?

ESTP: do every illegal thing there is without going to jail.....

ESFP: living the dream in Las Vegas...for free

ENTP: being a philosophy professor so I can debate all my life with my students and get paid for it

ENFP: do everything I ever want and not being called "weird" and "unrealistic"

ENFJ: have lots of friends with problems, so I can solve their problems.

ESFJ: live a happy life with my family,friends, significant other and kids

ESTJ: being able to shout at my incompetent subordinates without being called a menace

ENTJ: world domination

ISTP: live in an island with good internet connection

ISFP: being an appreciated artist

INTP: staying at home and not have responsibility for anything

INFP: being able to live out my life without thinking about all my embarrassing moments that replay in my head every night when I try to sleep....

INFJ: being able to turn down people when they ask for help all the time without feeling guilty

ISFJ: having lots of cats and world peace

ISTJ: a stable job and a stable family

INTJ: There is no ideal life here. My plan is to leave earth for a better planet.

Richard: hey guys do you want to...

Henry: We threw a bacchanal

Richard: whaaa...

Henry: Bunny saw us with blood on

Richard: wait what...

Henry: he blackmailed us for months and I had to shut his mouth by taking him on a trip to Italy.

Richard: why don't you go to the police?

Henry: police are not real, Richard.

ENTP: so now the extros are gone, you guys wanna do something?

ISFJ: Sure, what do you want to do?

ENTP: I was asking about what YOU want to do....anyways how about pizza?

ISFP: I like pizza.

ENTP: great, which one?

ISFP: whatever everyone else likes.

ENTP:....ok ISTJ, pizza?

ISTJ: I don't eat fast food.

ENTP: ok, we will get some salad. Um...INTP...where is INTP?

ISTP: they left when you were blinking.

ENTP:....

ISTP: just text me when you get the pizza.

ENTP: INFP, what do you like?

INFP: I was a feeling a little down, if you don't mind, its okay if you do mind, I don't um....I don't like Pizza at all....you guys can eat I will just....sleep or something.

ENTP: You know right we can order something else for you?

INFP: I don't want to seem like an inconvenience

ENTP:.....you are so not... Ok INTJ what about you?

INTJ: .....

ENTP: .....

INTJ: .....

ENTP: ..... is he dead...?

INFJ: just order anything you want, we don't complain even if we have a problem.

ENTP: alright.....you guys are being very easygoing.

If you are not a Darcy, a Tilney, a Wentworth or a Knightley, I am not interested.

When Taylor Swift said "Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die" I felt it.

There's a Olivia Rodrigo song for every emotion. (I LOVE ALL OF THEM)

Brutal: I hate this world so much

Traitor: I got cheated on/my friend found a new friend

Driver's license: I miss my ex/ex-friend

1 step forward, 3 steps back: toxic relationships and issues you can't leave

Deja vu: I can't believe he/she/they replaced me!

Good 4 u: oh so you have moved on from me...sure...ahahhah...I am not mad...hahhahah...(ur dead)

Enough for you: I changed everything about myself because ur shit

Happier: maybe you can be less happy, there are some sensitive people around!

Jealousy Jealousy: self explanatory (also "everyone thinks he’s so smart, wonderful Potter with his scar and his broomstick" ~Draco Malfoy)

Favourite Crime: I know u are a felon and a criminal but you have a sweet side and a tender heart only I can change!

Hope ur ok: (cries) address the letters to the holes of my butterfly wings (cries some more)

I am graduating soon. So here it goes-

"Thanks Disney channel for giving me unrealistic ideas about high school and life. A thanks to Harry Potter for making me hate my life some more. I thank Pinterest for providing me endless ideas. I thank reddit for keeping me busy with debates. I thank all the apps that consumed most of my life. And special thanks to YouTube for raising me as a child"

Everyday I feel like my country failed me, and many others who couldn't do what they want because their country still lives in the conservative 1900s.

How an INTP sees other personalities:

INFP: the only one who understands

ISFP: the one who does your art project

ISTP: cousin

ISTJ: the one who tells the teachers they gave homework

INTJ: the evil twin

INFJ: personal therapist

ISFJ: always helps you

INTP: a disgrace (and the best)

ENFP: has the best jokes

ESFP: adopts me as a friend

ESTP: adrenaline junkie I keep away from

ESTJ: the worst (sorry, I have met a lot of ESTJs that made me work when I don't want to)

ENTJ: Light Yagami

ENFJ: the teacher who makes me speak in class and encourges me to be more "open"

ESFJ: Mom

ENTP: crime partner

It's really funny that Dumbledore has such an interesting magical name "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore" and one of his middle name's is Brian...just some normal dude called Brian.

Favourite Jane Austen novels (a.k.a all books)

1. Emma

2. Pride and Prejudice

3. Northanger Abbey

4. Persuasion

5. Mansfield Park

6. Sense and Sensibility

7. Lady Susan

I will fall in love with someone ONLY if they say

"I look at you and suddenly the sonnets make sense"

(If we were villians)

My mom thinks I am in a cult. No, The secret history, iwwv, and dead poet's society are not books/movie, it's a religion.

My ranking of Taylor Swift's "Midnights" for my first listen through. (Disclosure: this is just an opinion and my experience. The rankings will change as time passes by but this is how I enjoyed the album for the first time. Of course Taylor put out another great one and I love all the songs, just some tick to me more than others)

1. Mastermind

2. Anti-Hero

3. Karma

4. Vigilante shit

5. You're on your own, kid

6. Lavender Haze

7. Labyrinth

8. Maroon

9. Sweet Nothing

10. Bejeweled

11. Midnight Rains

12. Snow on the beach

13. Question...?