“If You Were Born Into A Family That Had Expectations For You To Play A Specific Role In Order For

I will act as your wings if you fall and continue to carry you until you can carry yourself.

- Extract from the book i’ll never write

Give up trying to be the good girl. Create a reputation of being the girl whose respected. Allow this desire to guide and be reflected in your actions.

“I don’t want to be happy. I want to have you by my side. To have you by my sadness and my depression. To have you. Your love. Your care. That is much much precious than happiness. I am a nothing and a no one. But I am everything in your hands. So hold me.”

— Mohammed Zarir, from a letter to T.M. (2020)

me giving relationship advice: communicate or end it

Truths that have changed my life:

You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.

You’re never asking for too much or asking for the wrong thing; you’re just asking the wrong people.

Rejection is redirection. Better things are waiting elsewhere. Trust in synchronicity.

Here and now is worth being alive and enjoying the moment to the fullest. Not someday when you will have X and Y goal accomplished. You are worthy of letting yourself be happy here and now.

The only limitations in your life are those that you impose on yourself - first and foremost, mentally. So release them.

Work on your goals lowkey, and only share the progress with truly dear people to you, that you know can treasure the delicate energy of a blooming goal, with only positive energy.

When you let go of the old, you tell the universe, “I’m ready for the new.”

Amazing things await you, if you allow them into your space. Believe that you deserve better, and you will.

Get out of bed, I doubt you have the energy to, but that gives you all the reason to. All this clutter in your room, and in your mind, clean it. Start doing things, and you will realize that you have more power over your mind than you think.

Gaining momentum

it takes years to develop your craft. do not romanticize the idea of an ‘overnight success’. be a student. grow organically. get really good. hate your work. start over. find new ways to express the same ideas. the student becomes the master. your time will come.

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

Advice your mother should’ve given you.

Stick by your word and stand firm with your boundaries. Don’t allow people to poke, probe, and push your limits, boundaries, and no zones after you told them not to. Don’t be fooled, all people need is one warning to get the memo that something is off limits, but no one will respect a person who is all talk and no action. Put action behind your words, no one will take your words seriously if you don’t, empty threats get you nowhere. People only continue trying you when they know/think they can get away with it. Say it with me, first times a warning, second times a done deal. Don’t disrespect yourself by going against your boundaries and personal code. 

I will try to follow these definitely

How to remain productive with online classes:

A few tips from a broke neuro-divergent academic

Try and wake up early, and go to bed early too. I’m not saying get up at 5 (unless that’s you’re thing) but sleeping into noon is a productivity blackhole. I go for 8 or 8:30, generally, but that’s just what works for me.

Get dressed for the day. I’m not talking like, jeans and a business casual outfit, but a clean pair of sweatpants, fresh underwear, and a new shirt can really put you in the mood for a new morning.

Have a workspace. Whether it be the kitchen table, a desk, a spot on the floor with a lap desk, have a place that’s dedicated to your work. Have items that signify that workspace too, like your book, planner, laptop, lamp, whatever. It can help you get into the zone, being in that space.

Have a morning drink. I choose earl grey tea with honey and cream, but black coffee, herbal tea, lemon water, whatever works for you is awesome, as long as itll wake you up and start your day.

To do lists. To do lists and to do lists and more to do lists. I have three. One is a post it weekly planner deal (3.99 at a local grocery store). it’s a weekly spread already set up, and if you’re anything like me, its really hard to set up a weekly spread. Then I have an app called Ike. I have a daily to do list I write on that app, and then I have four more to-do lists of what I have to for each specific class.

Spread out your assignments. Don’t overwhelm yourself. If you’re professors are like mine, and have the due date for each module as Sunday at midnight. What I do is spread out all my assignments from Monday to Saturday, and I leave Sunday blank, so anything I didn’t do that week, I finish on Sunday. It works for me, it might work for you.

Have a folder for each class, and a notebook for each class. I hate spending money, I’m broke as hell, sono al verde as the Italians say, but a 0.99 cent folder and a 0.25 cent notebook can do wonders for motivating one to fill them up.

Study with a drink. Tea, water, coffee, whatever, but my go to is generally a warm drink. I cannot study if I’m cold, I get tired and groggy, so warm socks, a robe, and a hot drink really keep me going.

Take breaks. Make time for your hobbies, for something fun. Working without stopping absolutely destroys my motivation, and let me tell you, when I feel like that, an episode of Avatar and a snack gets me right back on the wagon.

Do self check ins. Does your back hurt? Are you sad? Stressed? Do you have to pee? Are you hungry? Never put your homework over your health. You won’t be able to get anything done well anyway if you’ve got those blocks.

Most importantly, get enough sleep. I beg of you. Sleep is so important, and it’s the game changer, at least to me. We as students have such an amazing opportunity to get more sleep than we ever have before during the year. Take advantage of that.