Slenderman Headcanons: Sex & The Slender Brothers

Trender: What’s a seahorses best sense?

No one: …

Trender: It’s their sight. Because they are a see-horse. They see.

Everyone else at the meeting table:

Slender: Why the hell are you here? What do you even do?

Trender: I bless you all with my presence, so don’t sass me, fuckhead.

Washing machines are like indoor swimming pools for clothes ._.

BURNED!!! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍💯😌✨😁😉☺️😂🤣🤤🥳👉🏻👈🏻

How much money would it cost me for you to give me a strip tease show?

Obviously, more than what your dignity is worth.

The amount being "Absolutely-Not-Ever" with a generous side of "Mocking-Sarcasm".

I agree with the bite as I am a person who got bitten by a praying mantis two times (because my idiot ass accidentally spooked the poor creature). But they're very beautiful and unique beings with five eyes!

Praying Mantis

Mantis religiosae

The Praying Mantis can be identified by its typically bright green coloring and long, skinny body. It is commonly found in environments around moist and vegetation-rich areas such as forests and gardens.

Like most mantids, the Praying Mantis is a solitary insect and prefers to hunt alone.

The Praying Mantis is an carnivore and typically feeds on small insects, including flies, moths, spiders and crickets, but has been know to fight (and eat) small animals like, lizards, birds, frogs etc.

Some of its predators are birds, spiders, hornets, and lizards.

Fun fact: Praying mantises have exceptional eyesight and can rotate their heads 180 degrees.

Contrary to popular belief, The Praying Mantis is (currently) not listed as endangered, and is generally beneficial to the environment as it helps control the population of pests.

The Praying Mantis can be known to have parasitic relationships with horsehair worms (praying mantis-host, horsehair worm-parasite)

The stealth movements of the praying mantis have made it a symbol of meditation and contemplation. In China, the insect has long been honored for its mindful movements; It never makes a move unless it is certain that is the right thing to do.

it is not advisable to handle a Praying Mantis without proper training as they have a strong bite and can cause pain to humans if mishandled. However, they are generally not aggressive towards humans and will only defend themselves when provoked.

My person rating: 5/5 ★★★★★

I love mantids, they are extremely unique creatures and are one of my favorite bugs to keep and observe!

(Keep in mind this rating is just my personal opinion, you can feel differently about the praying mantis, There is no correct answer for how to feel about bugs!)

Thanks for reading and happy bug spotting! if you've got any questions or just want to chat bug stuff feel free to comment or dm me!

If i missed something or messed up a fact please comment and correct me!

Credits:

I believe both Dividers are from @strangergraphics-archive

Slenderman HC how to get him in the mood and how he gets his s/o in the mood, and what does he do if they say no?

Slender {NSFW mention}

Step 1: Sit on lap

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit.

He’s an easy man to please, and if his s/o sits on his lap while he’s working, he’ll give in real easily to the distraction.

Or he’ll pretend to shoo them away and then call them back.

Also, any thigh-high stockings really tend to capture his attention.

So, struct in his office with some nylons, and sit on his lap, wrap your arms around his neck and tell him how much you’ve missed him all day,  and he won’t be able to resist you.

He’s a romantic guy, so he’ll most likely kiss ass all day for an amazing night to follow.

But if it happens to be an unplanned thing, you can easily find his mood by his actions.

Light touches on your hips, a kiss on the neck that lasts a second too long, and hushed whispers about how he’ll treat you once you get some alone time.

He doesn’t beat around the bush too much when it comes to mentioning his needs.

If they say no, he’ll pout on his own for a little bit.

And maybe sulk at the window.

He’ll also be kind of petty,

“It’s not like I finished work early or anything-”

Just snide little comments that make you glare in his direction.

He shuts up quickly, after you do that, though.

He’ll just jerk one out to alleviate himself, although he’d much rather have you there with him to help.

It could easily join germany's next topmodel and win the whole thing.

i adore bugs. you're telling me THIS

is a real, living animal. and what is it called?

Gongylus gongylodes

*Throws snowballs at @consult-sherlockholmes, @criminalisticonsultant and @consult-johnhwatson* SNOWBALL FIGHT!!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😏😁🤭😋😌😉☺️🤣😂👀👉🏻👈🏻

It's about to be a white Christmas...😏

87 + 107? with mycroft? please?

Pairing: Mycroft Holmes x ReaderFandom: BBC SherlockWarnings: /Genre: fluff ; humor

Summary: “My family wants to meet you.” + “What are you smiling for?”

A/N: thank you my love (added mycroft to my fandoms page) (NO MORE PLEASE, ONLY FINISHING THOSE IN MY INBOX)

                                                        *****

Youlooked up from the file in front of you, when the door to your officegot opened and smiled at Mycroft, “Well, well.. to what do I owethe pleasure?”

“Areyou busy?”

“No more than usual,” you leaned back in your chair and watched himtake a seat across from you, “What is it?”

Mycroftlooked nervous. And that wasn’t something you were used to and itmade you nervous as well.

“Rememberhow we discussed not making our relationship public, due to workrelated issues and also my family?”

“Yes?”

“Sherlockhas found out about it.”

Youdrew your eyebrows together, but were still calm, “How?”

“Ithink he might have gone through my phone the last time he was here.Anyways, when we were at my parents’ place last weekend, he suddenlystarted talking about it. Told them everything there was to knowabout you.”

“He did what?”

Weiterlesen

Hey! I'm innocelt in this! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍☺️😌😁😉😋😅🥹🥺👀😳🙂😏👉🏻👈🏻

👀

.....Ah, it's a "sip of the ol' 50 year whisky day".

How would the slender brothers react to somebody going yandere over them? (Mother and Lume included). Maybe reader is this super powerful demon being who wants to love their new obsession. I always love the idea of insanely powerful readers, but dangerously powerful. Life with them is sweet as sugar! Praise, kisses, maybe a bit of jealousy here and there. But punishments are the worst hell imaginable

Slender

Slender pretends not to be intimidated.

He is.

But, to protect his ego, he forces himself into the mindset that he's superior, which is a dangerous game to play around you.

The first time he told you 'no' was quite interesting, and wet the mood for the rest of your short relationship.

"What did you just say to me?"

There was a tense silence, and it lingered in the air between the couple like a dense fog.

Slender slowly turned his head, questioning if the tone he heard was really as audacious as they seemed.

"I said, 'No, I would like to attend a party tonight with my business partners and Offender.'"

"That's what I thought you said."

Slender paused, and he would glare if he had the proper equipment. "You aren't my mother, I don't need to ask permission to leave the house at a reasonable hour."

"Well, we'll just have to find a way for you to stay home then."

"I'm not making up an excuse just-"

And before he could finish the next syllable, six thuds hit the ground. Out of pure primal instinct, Slender teleported somewhere safe inside his forest.

He left your claws immediately, and he'd rather stay that way, even if he must constantly be on the run from you.

Offender

Honestly, as long as you're nice to him, he might not even notice that you're yandere.

He loves attention, physical affection, praise, and sappy romance in general.

And you could kill him in one swipe??? That's sexy. He's already praising the ground you walk on.

He's always head over heels for people that are taller than him, considering it's extremely rare.

Sometimes a big guy like him just wants to be the little spoon, y'know?

But it will be difficult when Offender tries setting boundaries.

He's a man that has a big social circle, and if that is a problem for his dangerous yandere, he's going to be in for a hell of a ride.

After the first punishment, he realizes you're fucking insane and he needs to get out of there as soon as possible.

As a trade negotiator for Slender, he has a lot of connections, possibly beings that would be able to shelter him if need be.

He never learns his lesson, "The crazy ones are always the hottest."

Trender

He's not much of a fighter.

Trender would rather take the easy route and let you follow him around like a rabid puppy dog.

If you start complimenting him and giving praise, Trender will fluster to unimaginable limits.

And he hates to admit it, but he really loves the positive attention you give him.

He's so used to being unrecognized for his hard work in the small friend circle he has, it feels pleasant to have some pats on the back once in a while.

And he's a very passive being as well, you won't have to worry about him talking to other people or disobeying your wishes. He's just has a huge passive personality that likes to avoid conflict with the ones close to him.

Unless you're referencing his work.

If you try to control his work, his best stress outlet, then you're going to have an equally hard time punishing him as he's being disciplined.

He's stubborn just like his Mother, but he's also a huge baby when it comes to pain and discomfort.

He hates it, and promises to listen if you stop. But once the situation arises again, the exact same scenario plays out.

He'll try to escape from your claws as soon as possible if similar events keep happening.

Splendor

He thinks you adorable! And the both of you are sickeningly sweet together.

Splendor has a dark side as well.

He can be sweet as sugar one moment, and break your arm the next if he would really like to.

Splendor understands what it's like to be twisted in that sense, a terrible curse that's uncontrollable.

Chances are, he's willing to work through it with you, yandere or not, and work towards a healthy relationship.

Splendor falls hard when he's in love, and he'll do anything in his ability to mend your relationship.

Every couple has their bumps in the road.

Some couples argue, some sleep in different beds, some rip the bells off of a tendril because their partner spent too much time away from home.

But! Anything can be fixed with a little bit of love and duct tape! Splendor is sure of it. And he's convinced deep down you're the sweetest being in the Underrealm. You just need a little help discovering yourself.