Something That'll Never Happen To Me As Long As I Stay In My Spider Form, Because Flies And Yummy Roaches

Uhhh... You're not planning to get anywhere near me with that spray, right? RIGHT??? 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😭😳🥲😅👀🥹🥺💯👉🏻👈🏻

Fine, I'll take the Katydid. But just so he knows, I would greatly prefer a tarantula.

Never saying yes to a marriage proposal, unless it’s like this

How would the slender brothers react to somebody going yandere over them? (Mother and Lume included). Maybe reader is this super powerful demon being who wants to love their new obsession. I always love the idea of insanely powerful readers, but dangerously powerful. Life with them is sweet as sugar! Praise, kisses, maybe a bit of jealousy here and there. But punishments are the worst hell imaginable

Slender

Slender pretends not to be intimidated.

He is.

But, to protect his ego, he forces himself into the mindset that he's superior, which is a dangerous game to play around you.

The first time he told you 'no' was quite interesting, and wet the mood for the rest of your short relationship.

"What did you just say to me?"

There was a tense silence, and it lingered in the air between the couple like a dense fog.

Slender slowly turned his head, questioning if the tone he heard was really as audacious as they seemed.

"I said, 'No, I would like to attend a party tonight with my business partners and Offender.'"

"That's what I thought you said."

Slender paused, and he would glare if he had the proper equipment. "You aren't my mother, I don't need to ask permission to leave the house at a reasonable hour."

"Well, we'll just have to find a way for you to stay home then."

"I'm not making up an excuse just-"

And before he could finish the next syllable, six thuds hit the ground. Out of pure primal instinct, Slender teleported somewhere safe inside his forest.

He left your claws immediately, and he'd rather stay that way, even if he must constantly be on the run from you.

Offender

Honestly, as long as you're nice to him, he might not even notice that you're yandere.

He loves attention, physical affection, praise, and sappy romance in general.

And you could kill him in one swipe??? That's sexy. He's already praising the ground you walk on.

He's always head over heels for people that are taller than him, considering it's extremely rare.

Sometimes a big guy like him just wants to be the little spoon, y'know?

But it will be difficult when Offender tries setting boundaries.

He's a man that has a big social circle, and if that is a problem for his dangerous yandere, he's going to be in for a hell of a ride.

After the first punishment, he realizes you're fucking insane and he needs to get out of there as soon as possible.

As a trade negotiator for Slender, he has a lot of connections, possibly beings that would be able to shelter him if need be.

He never learns his lesson, "The crazy ones are always the hottest."

Trender

He's not much of a fighter.

Trender would rather take the easy route and let you follow him around like a rabid puppy dog.

If you start complimenting him and giving praise, Trender will fluster to unimaginable limits.

And he hates to admit it, but he really loves the positive attention you give him.

He's so used to being unrecognized for his hard work in the small friend circle he has, it feels pleasant to have some pats on the back once in a while.

And he's a very passive being as well, you won't have to worry about him talking to other people or disobeying your wishes. He's just has a huge passive personality that likes to avoid conflict with the ones close to him.

Unless you're referencing his work.

If you try to control his work, his best stress outlet, then you're going to have an equally hard time punishing him as he's being disciplined.

He's stubborn just like his Mother, but he's also a huge baby when it comes to pain and discomfort.

He hates it, and promises to listen if you stop. But once the situation arises again, the exact same scenario plays out.

He'll try to escape from your claws as soon as possible if similar events keep happening.

Splendor

He thinks you adorable! And the both of you are sickeningly sweet together.

Splendor has a dark side as well.

He can be sweet as sugar one moment, and break your arm the next if he would really like to.

Splendor understands what it's like to be twisted in that sense, a terrible curse that's uncontrollable.

Chances are, he's willing to work through it with you, yandere or not, and work towards a healthy relationship.

Splendor falls hard when he's in love, and he'll do anything in his ability to mend your relationship.

Every couple has their bumps in the road.

Some couples argue, some sleep in different beds, some rip the bells off of a tendril because their partner spent too much time away from home.

But! Anything can be fixed with a little bit of love and duct tape! Splendor is sure of it. And he's convinced deep down you're the sweetest being in the Underrealm. You just need a little help discovering yourself.

I hope @consult-sherlockholmes didn't dislocate his hip! Because I sure know what that feels like! Can't you just force Sherlock to let you examine him, @consult-johnhwatson??? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍✨💯🥹🥺😅😭🥲😳☺️👉🏻👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

Morning Classes

Severus Snape x Reader

Summary: You spent the night in your boyfriend’s bedroom, at the school he works at. The issue with sleeping in a dungeon, is that you can’t tell when it’s sunrise. You slept in, and decided to make it known to everyone that Severus Snape CAN get some bitches

Warnings: None really, besides implied sexual content. But none actually. Also teenagers being teenagers, and poor Snape ready to have a heart attack

“Sevvy?” You yawned, as you would lift up your head. There you were, in satin sheets. Perfect for the muggy weather that the dungeons collected. Breathe able, light, and soft. Made you want to never leave the ink and emerald covers, but you wanted to get some breakfast with your boyfriend.

Another yawn left you, as you climbed out of the covers. Quick to steal one of his dress shirts, and cover yourself up in. You loved how it was a dress on you. Made you feel so safe, and warm. Emotionally, anyway. Despite the muggy weather of a dungeon, it can change and become so chill. Just a matter of when Peeves wants to snuff out the fire places.

“Sevvy? I want us to get some breakfast.” You called, as you stretched your body. The cold stones sending shivers through your feet, and up your spine. “And cuddles. I want more cuddles.” You cooed, as you would force open the heavy door. The one to lead to his classroom. Took some effort, but you broke through.

“Sevvy, sweetie? Let’s get some br…” Your heart dropped, as you froze. Seems you slept in, because class was in session. The familiar smog of the potions brewing filled the air, but never enough to hide the faces of his students. Along with himself.

The way every student was jaw dropped, at the realization that someone was in Snapes bedroom. Not only in his bedroom, but clearly having spent the night there. They just couldn’t process it, and neither could Snape. That ever cold scowl vanished, to be replaced with the most brilliant of pink cheeks. Seems Hogwarts was just a breeding ground of making sure he got embarrassed.

“Oh….I….Apologies….It can be kinda hard to tell the time, when you are underground.” You gulped, as you rubbed the back of your neck. You tried to step out of the room, but your back came into contact with the door. No way did you want to turn around, and risk exposing your naked butt to a bunch of kids. That’s not only gross, but also very embarrassing.

“Damn, kinda hot-“ A student said, causing Snape’s head to spin so sharply. You are surprised that no bones were broken in the process. As if he had time to figure out who said that. He had a partner to worry about. He cursed himself for letting you sleep in.

“Not. A. WORD.” He warned his students, as he quickly ran to your side. Swiftly he would take off his ever present cloak, and wrapped it around you. Let you be covered, as the students still stared. Never did they think Snape could be human. Find love, have a romance, be intimate with someone. It was just kinda assumed he was an entity all on his own.

“I am so sorry-“ You quickly whispered, with shame in your eyes. Way to go. You had to humiliate him. A man that’s been burdened with such all his life. You just had to give him more trauma. Way to go. That’s reading on your face like a book, and he won’t have any of that. He will break the cycle.

“I should have left a note-“ He tried to whisper back, but failed. The classroom was so silent, from shock, so much as his own heart beat could be heard. Was Snape taking responsibility for his own actions, and not wanting someone to feel bad? Who is this imposter? That was getting the class rowdy now.

“Students-“ He warned, but the teenagers in them were over ruled. They had so many questions. Who is this person? How did you two meet? Did you go to Hogwarts with him? Are you from another school? Pure blood? Muggle born? Did you top?!

“I uh. Just better go get some pants on-“ You swallowed, as he nodded. He was quick to open the door for you, and you ran in. It would then slam behind you, but it couldn’t muffle the gossiping of the class.

“Children-!” He warned, but their curiosity overruled their fear. They had to know. Who the hell were you?! Why would you settle for him?! So many questions, so little class time to figure it all out. They needed to know!

You made sure to hurry up, and slipped on some random bottoms. Along with a cozy top. Just clothes to actually wear, as to go out there and save your boyfriend. It must be an emotional nightmare to deal with. A bunch of students ganging up on him, much like his childhood. You will save the day.

“Hey everyone-! Sorry about that-! So uh. Hi! Yes, I’m his romantic partner. No, we didn’t meet at Hogwarts. I’m a-“ You began to rattle off, as to try and settle everyone down. Along with give Severus a moment to breathe. Breathe, and process what is happening. So much for staying under the radar.

“Why him?” Someone asked. Damn, even you could feel Snape’s death glare towards the student. Stings, but you snuck your hand to tangle with his. Comforting him, with brushing your thumb over his knuckles.

“Oh where do I start? Handsome, smart, charismatic, playful-“ That got a brow raise at the remark. The moment you kissed his cheek? Everyone was gagging, and making mock throwing up noises. You swore you saw a smile tug at his lips, at such foolery. Had you giggle, as you nuzzled your head into his shoulder.

“Thank Merlin, the bell-!” A student shouted, as the clock tower rang. Everyone was quick to bolt, leaving behind cauldrons full of left over potions. That had him rubbing his temples, but you already grabbed your wand. Working on the first one for him.

“The talk of the school….again….” He grumbled, as he would work on another one. He never liked being in the spotlight. If he could hide in the shadows, he would. Impossible now. Given the ‘scary potion master’ now had a romantic partner. Someone could love him? Such horror.

“Oh hush. Bet they are just jealous that I’m the lucky one.” You soothed, as you would give his cheek another kiss. Make that, multiple kisses. Just peppering him, and not willing to lighten up. Not until he smiled.

Took a minute, but he did. Just for you. He smiled, and soon returned a peck to your own. Far softer, and quieter. Just how he was. Like a gust of wind, in the moonlight. One of the endless reasons you adored him.

“So…..no breakfast-?” You puzzled, before he handed you over an apple. He had made sure to grab you something, after he had his own. He kept you in his thoughts. Had you just beaming, as you happily took it. Taking a large bite, as you now sat on his desk. Eye candy, as he worked.

Maybe today won’t be so bad after all. He’s in good company.

The mayfly man... *Small smile* The mayfly man is... here today. *Let's glass of campagne fall to the floor.* Uh... Sorry, I...

Male small mayfly, Baetinae, Baetidae

Male small mayflies in the family Baetidae differ from females in that they have seven eyes rather than five - 3 simple eyes, 2 compound eyes,and 2 turbinate eyes on top of the head. These upward-facing eyes are thought to be used for spotting females during aerial mating.

Photographed in Malaysia by Nicky Bay // Website // Facebook

Shared with permission; do not remove credit or re-post!

Yay! So were you able to help that anon with his cut off dong, @consult-johnhwatson? Or is that thing free to use as food? Never tried human dick before... 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🤭😂🤣😁☺️😳😉😋🥳👀👉🏻👈🏻

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

Could you please do head cannons for the slender brothers about a s/o who's autistic and is having a break down on how they would help her ✨ I had to after seeing one of your recent posts, thank you!

I’m sorry these are short! I’m not experienced with autism, but I’ve done the research and hope I got everything correct. I understand that not all meltdowns are the same, so I tried to just get the general picture.

Slender

His voice is calming and soothing as he talks to you

He’ll fetch your stim objects and perhaps your favorite snack or drink to get you calm enough to talk to him.

He’ll guide you to a safer/quieter/ dark place.

He’ll try to find the root of the meltdown and see what he can do to fix it.

Or if there’s something that you need, he’ll fetch it for you.

He’s very logical, so it’s likely he’ll creatively work with you to find out the problem by asking questions.

If you need some alone time, he’ll leave if need be. 

But out of habit he’ll peek in on you from time to time to make sure you’re not injuring yourself or getting overly panicked.

After the melt down, he’ll talk soothingly and suggest a warm bath after grounding yourself.

He’ll ask if you want or need anything and he’ll get said item. 

If you’re alright with being touched and held now, he’ll give you a solid hug and squeeze you against him.

Offender

He doesn’t know exactly what to do, but he tries his best to talk you through it. 

He’ll ask you how he can help you calm down, then he’ll try and go from there. 

He’ll fetch you something if you need it, 

But if it’s hidden somewhere he probably won’t find it bc he’s kinda blind when it comes to finding things ngl

But he’ll try and find a nice subsitute in the meantime.

He’s not too good with calming people down, but he’ll use his calming voice to soothe your emotions.

Will mayyybe (definitely) beat someone up if they were being too loud and annoying that triggered your meltdown.

After you’ve cooled off, he’ll hug and kiss you if you want and bring you some water so you stay hydrated.

Trender

He’ll go into New-York-City-Intern mode and fetch anything he thinks you need.

Comfort Item? Check

Stim toys? Check?

Cat? Check

Dog? Already on top of s/o.

WheReS The wATER? Oh, there it is!

Probably more scared than you are because he struggles to be a good boyfriend all of the time and just wants to make you feel better <3

He’ll sit by your side and try to talk it out, even if he’s not the best at communication, or talking at all, for that matter.

He might pull out some special fabrics he knows you like to stim with to help calm you down once the worst part is over.

He’ll also pull out some nifty bath bombs to help you relax post-meltdown.

Splendor

He’s so distressed too bc all he wants to do is HUG YOU and give you his love and affection.

But he can’t so he uses his words to try and help you calm down.

He carries some of your stim things and comfort items in his pockets bc he likes them too and it reminds him of you.

He’ll guide you away from the situation at hand, and sit you down in a quiet place, possibly dark too if he can find one.

He doesn’t have any trouble using his words to calm you down, he’s a great talker.

And if this has happened before, he always knows the path he has to take to calm you down correctly.

But once it’s over, he’ll avoid the area of the meltdown and take you somewhere relaxing, probably the bedroom for you to take a nice nap.

Hi! God I missed you so much!) Welcome back!

Thanks! And sorry for getting to answering this late!

Lots have been going on actually in the life outside of Tumblr. I was in Sweden for two and a half month without any Wi-fi and got my hip placed back in place properly.

It was out of place, due to a hiking accident seven years ago and the doctors (of course 🙄) didn't find a thing and didn't know what's wrong with me, when even I could feel a the bone of my hip sticking up against my skin and against my right groin bone.

Due to always only laying around and pumping myself full of strong painkillers (that didn't even help and were very bad for my heart) to at least cope with the daily pain a little better, I got scoliosis and my muscles in legs and back went pretty much bye-bye, which is why I'm still quite unstable and have to wear a corset (which is annoying).

I've also had water in my thighs. In fact, so much that I couldn't even bend my knees properly anymore. And I was pigion-toeing very heavily to the point where my toes would almost touch each other or I would stumble over them often, while I was only walking on the outer space of my feet because of the hip misplacement.

Thanks to the treatment though I can finally walk properly and I'm not in pain anymore. I also lost a lot of weight during treatment with luke-warm lemon water to manage to discharge the trabbed water in my thighs and around my stomach. So now I'm about half my former weight! I lost 18 inches around the stomach.

Since I hope to go to Sweden again someday, I'm currently trying to learn Swedish and it's going quite good so far!

Recent events also had it that I got to care for a carrion crow! I suspect that it's a female and called her Elischeba, or Elli for short. My Mom found her in the morning when she went out for work barely three weeks ago.

Right now Elli is undergoing a worm treatment. These worms are living and multiplying in her lungs and giving her trouble breating, so they got to go.

However, when I made my way to the vet the first time to deliver a poop sample to the vet with my E-scooter, I've spontanously decided to pick beef with the pavement and it went out 1:0 for the pavement (According to a friend of mine the scooter said aveda kedavra 😂). After my tumble to the ground I felt very dizzy, disoriented and very nausous. And my hearing went woosh for a few minutes.

Though the X-ray didn't show a thing and I suspect it's just simply heavily sprained. I still can't move or bend my wrist and it started bruising pretty badly. But I think that it'll be fine in the end.

That was the update so far :)

Eurus is smarter then both Sherlock and Mycroft combined! 🕷️❤️😍🥰😘😌👀😉🤣😂😁💯👉🏻👈🏻