Fine, I'll Take The Katydid. But Just So He Knows, I Would Greatly Prefer A Tarantula.

I know, but at least I can get away with canabalism without being put in prison! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍💯🤭😂🤣😁☺️😳😉😋🥳👀👉🏻👈🏻

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

i don’t remember if i requested this already but may i request an nsfw scenario where cisfem reader and grelle get steamy in the office pls?

note— yes yes yes 30x yes!! imagine grell in this ... she is so majestic i can’t. mama mama mamaaa.—☆💋💄

rated: smut! includes: (risky sex, riding, nipple play, biting, drawing blood??? a little, noisy&needy grell :3)

tire out— ft. grell sutcliff w/c: 864

the office was dimly lit, filled with the quiet hum of paperwork being processed and cinematic records being sorted. grell, ever the vibrant death connoisseur, strutted among her office, files in hand. 

“honestly, darling… they’re just piling up today… like a mountain of paperwork!” she tuts, prompting a snort from you.

“your job is ridiculous.”

“pardon?!”

a tense silence follows her gasp as you try to find the right wording. 

“treating human souls like mere paperwork is so oddly dehumanizing, don’t you think? it’s funny.”

“well, dear, that’s the whole point,” she collapses onto the chair at her desk, spinning around on it idly. “us reapers have to do repeat that process to revise the cinematic records then to find if they’re worthy of death.. ughhhh… *so* exhausting.” 

her rambling was nothing short of endearing, that’s for sure. grell throws hear head back, leaning back on her chair dramatically. she sneaks a peek at you, who stands over her desk, lost in thought.

“did you hear me?”

“your bitch and complain? yeah, i did.”

grell’s eyebrows furrow. 

“oh, you wound me! you have no idea how *exhausted* i ammmm….” she trails off, giving you another hinting side eye. 

you bite back a chuckle, taking the hint too well before sitting right upon her desk while simultaneously pushing aside her paperwork.

“oh yeah? how exhausted?” 

like a moth to a flame, grell finally sits straight on her chair, her thighs clutching shut at your purr.

“quite… quite exhausted yes,” her ears flush along with her glasses lightly slipping down that bridge of her nose. 

so gorgeous.

you run your hands through her long, fiery hair before tugging her in.

“you couldn’t use any extra exhausting, could you?” 

your voice was lightly taunting with a gentle pout to your lips, down to your working fingers that teasingly trace her open collarbone, thanks to grell’s classy striped blouse.

the reapers green eyes sparkle with delight before looking around in a tiny excited panic.

“i could certainly use a change of pace…”

before you two knew it, you were straddling grell in her chair, your hands roaming freely against her chest. you could feel grell's breath hitch as you settled yourself on her lap, her crimson painted nails digging lightly into the fabric of your clothes.

you leaned in close, your lips brushing against her ear. "let's see if i can help with that exhaustion," you whispered, your hand slipping down to unbutton her trousers.

grell's eyes fluttered shut, her body trembling with anticipation as your hand found its way to her already stiffened cock. "darling..." she breathed, her voice a mix of desire and desperation.

you began to stroke her slowly, savoring the way her body reacted to your touch. her hips bucked against your hand, seeking more friction. "so needy, grell," you teased, a smirk playing on your lips.

her response was a low, throaty moan as you increased your pace, her grip on your waist tightening. you could feel her getting closer, her breath coming in ragged gasps. her teeth sink down on your neck, initiating a sharp stinging sensation that made you cry out in a miserable attempt to be quiet. just when she was on the brink, you slowed down, drawing a frustrated muffled whine from her.

"patience, love," you cooed, your fingers now tracing her collarbone and slipping beneath her blouse to tease her pretty pink nipples. grell withdrew her mouth from you, proudly tasting a hint of your blood from that harsh bite.

"please," she begged, her voice cracking slightly.

you couldn't resist any longer. standing up briefly, you lowered tugged down her panties lightly. you straddled her again, guiding her inside your cunt with a slow, deliberate movement that had you both groaning in unison.

as you settled into a steady rhythm, you leaned back, allowing your fingers to play with her nipples. grell's head lolled back against the chair, her hands clutching at your hips as you rode her.

the office was filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, the papers and cinematic records forgotten. you kept your movements slow, savoring every sensation, while your hands continued to tease her sensitive nipples.

"how’s that feel, sweetheart?" you murmured, your voice dripping with tenderness.

"so good," she gasped, her hands gripping your thighs as she tried to maintain control. "don't stop... please..."

you quickened your pace slightly, bouncing on her lap and letting out a couple of squeaks here and then…

“dear… o-oh dear, m’ gonna… ngh! cumming…” grell whines onto your neck, her thighs quivering uncontrollably. “shh, lower it down, baby,” you murmur as you oush her face onto your cleavage to muffle her up.

with a final, deep thrust, you both found release, your bodies trembling together in the aftermath. as you collapsed against her, grell's arms wrapped around you, holding you close.

"you certainly know how to... change the pace," she panted, a satisfied smile on her lips.

you chuckled, pressing a kiss to her lips. "anything for you, darling. now, about that paperwork..."

grell groaned playfully, her head falling back against the chair. "later," she murmured, pulling you in for another kiss. "much later."

. . .

You

Summary: Your husband, Severus, finally introduces you to his colleagues. The Hogwarts staff.

Pairing: Severus Snape x Female Reader

A/N: I feel like I forgot some people.

In the previous and last staff meeting of the year, the headmaster announced the schedule for the Annual Staff dinner.

This commemorated the end of a successful school year and the hopes for more to come. They were always encouraged but not required to attend the festivities. Your husband, Severus, would often stay for an hour before leaving.

This year, however, he vaguely inquired about inviting a guest to the castle.

A phenomenon that didn’t happen quite often and one that Dumbledore wasn’t lenient to grant. This sparked their intrigue and excitement. They were quite eager to meet you. They hoped it was you. The one that puts a smile on their Potions’ Master’s face.

To no surprise, the headmaster stated that any guest of his was welcome to join in the festivities.

Especially if it would encourage him to interact longer than what was professionally deemed necessary in a setting that was not the Three Broomsticks, Hog’s Head, Grimmauld Place, his office, or the high table in the Great Hall.

That’s why you were home, in front of your mirrored wardrobe half naked, unable to decide on what to wear.

“How about this?” you turned, black robes at hand, “Yes? No?”

“You’ll look splendid in anything, darling, in fact,” Severus said, from the bed admiring the sight of you. “I quite like what I see at the moment,”

He smirked.

His eyes locked on you in a haze of desire. Your cheeks heat up as he slowly walks over. His hand reaches out to gently brush a strand of hair away from your face.

“Severus,” his lips dangerously close to yours, your heart racing, his scent enticing, your hand gently pushing him away, “We shouldn't,”

“Why don’t we put that away for a moment?” His warm breath against your cheek sends shivers down your spine, your defenses crumbling as he puts the clothes away, leaning toward you, "Hmm?"

His lips are tender on yours as he pulls you closer. His eyes searched yours in consent, and you surrendered to his heated touch. Your arms wrap around his neck as you lose yourself in his embrace. His robes were warm and soft against your bare skin. Your nose gently nudges his. Closer. More. You silently pleaded. His hands roamed every contour and curve of your exposed skin.

His clothes needed to go. Now.

——————————— 🪄———————————

In the end, you’d matched his outfit. In black robes, and shoes, except for your jewelry in platinum and a scarf in your house colors.

“You were of no help,” you said, after apparating outside Hogwarts grounds’, “No help at all,”

“You love me,” he laughed, you pouted as he showed you in, “Yes, I do,”

In the castle halls, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall caught the sound of his laughter. Their eyes turned to the bridge where their Potions’ Master walked side by side with a lovely woman.

“It’s time,”

In the spirit of celebration, their staff room was tastefully adorned in Hogwarts’ colors. Each color was distributed in a way that one was not as prominent as the other. His colleagues were absorbed in their own tasks as the two of you entered.

There were three women by the fire, punch at hand, talking. One you recognize as the Head of Gryffindor House and Transfiguration Professor, McGonagall. By the punch table, there was a small man you know from description as the Charms Professor, Flitwick, and a huge man, Hagrid. The remainder, however, were unfamiliar.

“Severus, so glad of you to join us, my boy,” the Headmaster entered from an office within, “Who is this lovely lady with you?”

“Someone you all wanted to meet for quite some time now,” Severus remarked, as he pulled you closer by his side, “My wife,”

“Oh, finally!” one small but lively woman, head full of curls, approached you, “You made quite an impression, dear,”

“We have never seen Severus so chastised,” Professor McGonagall joined the throng, “It was the highlight of our days,”

“Oh please,” Severus huffed, as you glanced at him and said, “I would’ve thought you’d open that Howler in a more private setting,”

“I was told Howlers shouldn’t be left waiting,” he justified, and sighed, “Imagine my guilt upon opening it,”

“You made up for it quite well, Sev,” you smile, his body relaxes, “Though, I hope outings like those wouldn’t need much incentive to be done,”

“I’ll do my best, my dear,” he sighed, and said, “Ah, apologies, formal introductions.”

His colleagues, Professor Hooch, Sprout, Pomfrey, Flitwick, McGonagall, and Trelawney greeted you in their way. They were very pleased to meet you and whisked you away once your husband was distracted by the headmaster for their short inquisition about your marriage.

To which you happily recanted for them because Severus was a private man and kept information about you to the chest.

It takes him an hour to escape the clutches of the Headmaster and return by your side. With the ladies by the fireplace, thoroughly exposing your husband’s romantic side to them.

“I simply cannot imagine Severus doing such,” Sprout chuckled, “Then again it is you, not us,”

“What are you talking about?” he menacingly came up behind you but no one was intimidated, “Darling?”

“Do you remember that trip to wizarding Paris?” you said. It takes him only moments to recall. His cheeks to the tips of his ears quickly flushed then he hid his face in your hair, “Dear god, please tell me you didn’t tell them that,”

“No, not exactly that,” you giggled. His arms securely wrapped around your waist, “But a more censored version,”

“We’re going now,” he insisted pulling you away from them as they laughed and you squealed, “Severus!”

“You are all menaces,” he pointed to the women as they stifled their laughter, turning to you, “And you are the worst of them all,”

“I love you,” you teasingly grinned, as he sighed happily taking your presence in, “And, I too,”

They briefly stared in awe at your husband’s admission. That’s how much you can get in public but in private he never hesitated to tell or show you his love. Their stares changed to smiles as he wrapped his arms around you. Your hands on top of each other’s above your stomach, rings twinkling in the firelight as you both warm up to them.

It was the first and only time he ever stayed the whole duration of the Annual Staff dinner.

I'll take that as a yes! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🙂☺️😉😌🤤😏😁🤭😋💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

merry crimemas, what crime are you planning on committing?

sodomy

Do you have any slender brothers hcs? I absolutely LOVE your blog 💖💖✨

omg i have so many it can probably be a series?? I have years of this pent up LmAO-Ty for coming to my ted talk.

General

Slender is the oldest, followed by Offender, Trender and then Splendor.

Their Mother, who is dubbed Mother, wasn’t around a lot because she was always busy with work and her proxies.

Her proxies didn’t know wtf to do most of the time.

Once they thought they had one under control, two others were trying to sacrifice the youngest (Splendor).

Their skin is so s m o o t h?

Like of like leather texture but s m o o t h and c l e a r

And it kind of sparkles sometimes, especially Slender’s.

Mother usually stops by to check in on her boys at the Manor. She tends to the proxies very well like her own grandchildren.

All of them have different fathers because they either fucking die or ghost her.

Slender

Slender had to half raise most of his brothers.

This is why he’s so well will the folks at the manor in discipline.

He’s the most respectful out of the bunch and tries his best not to offend anyone.

Splendor is his favorite brother but shh don’t tell anyone.

When he’s down, Splendor always tends to find him and cheer him up no matter the situation.

Slender has always had beef with Jeff, maybe it’s because Jeff tried to kill him when offering to take him in.

And then when Slender left him there in the forest, he came crawling to the manor.

He has favoritism towards the proxies, and they tend to get away with things a lot more than they should.

After handing over their will to Slender, Masky and Hoodie made excellent proxies in his opinion. But Toby was the easiest to manipulate.

He gets his power and energy from the souls either he reaps himself, or that the proxies or folks in the manor kill. The souls kind of stick around for a few hours their murderer kills them, so he set up a curfew for killing sprees.

That’s kind of their rent.

Offender

Bad boi™ in his teenage years,

One of the reasons he got all of the *cough* experience he has.

He snuck out of the house constantly when he was a kid.

And sometimes Trender or Splendor tagged along.

He got into alot of trouble when he was both a kid a teenager, and he started shaping up when he reached his adult years because he saw how Trender was starting to take after him.

He goes to bars, usually, to lure in someone lucky for the night.

He gets most of his power and energy from pleasuring people.

Due to that, he’s never assaulted anyone.

Has the longest tongue out of all the brothers, don’t ask how they know that.

He’s non-committal, and get’s anxious when he stays with one s/o for too long because he knows he’s going to outlive them one day. But, if he does find a way to either turn himself human, or turn them immortal, he’d change his life for them.

Trender

He likes his human form better than his original when he goes out.

It means more hairstyle options, make-up and all of that fun stuff.

His room is chaotically organized. If you move something in the mess, he will know.

His room consists of mannequins, small scraps of cloth he refuses to throw away, various loose (DANGerOUs!!) sewing needles, and just random things he find in thrift stores.

He goes thrift shopping to challenge himself to make it into some good and new, and then completely forgets about it/is too lazy to do it.

Kind of whiney like Offender. Also extremely lazy. He just wants to sit in his room all day and watch Netflix or youtube and draw or sew.

There are days where he gets inspiration and actually makes something from scratch, which usually turns out amazing.

Then he gets some dumbass idea like high heeled crocs.

He has an emo/goth phase when it was cool and the rest of his brothers despised him during that era.

He still cringes about it to this day. And Offender does well in reminding him.

He’s so good at makeup and just art in general. He once spent a few hours on Jane and she was able to walk around without her mask. You couldn’t even tell that Jeff had touched her. She cried (both happy and sad) for a good three days after that.

Splendor

Babey boi™

Splendor is half-human, causing Slender not to like him when he first arrived. But he grew on him, much like all small children.

He has freckles!!

His eyes!! Are!! The!! Prettiest!!!!!!!!

They’re pitch black but they have glitter/star-like sparkles in them. And they twinkle!!

Ironically, Splendor is the strongest (and scariest) out of all 4 of them when prompted. He’s just too happy all of the time to let his anger get the best of him.

He carries glitter in his pockets. Not just because of “uwu” glitter, but he’s kind of influenced by Offenders little shit personality and throws it at people to piss them off.

When he was 6, Slender was getting his first job and colored his tie rainbow polka dot. Slender was this ll close to chucking him out the window.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time, but he’s just happy to be there.

His arms start off white at the shoulder and fade into black just above his elbow.

He has claws!! They’re usually painted by Trender or Sally.

Body worship headcanons for Soma and Agni, please 🙏 thank you, thank you, thank you!

Alrighty!

Prince Soma:

Is definitely the type who would prefer receiving praises than giving them, partly because he doesn’t think he’s good at it, partly because he simply enjoys being spoiled. It doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t try it the other way around, on the contrary—if his lover would ever shower him with affection during sex, he would want to repay her equally.

Once you would move your kisses from his lips down his neck and then chest, he would melt under your touch. Draw your fingers down his sides, feel his ribs rising when he inhales deeply and arches his back just to show you how much he’s enjoying it, longing for you. Kiss his skin, lick it, bite it, whisper sweet nothings against it and he would turn into a mess, squirming on the velvet sheets and pleading you to never stop.

Tell him he’s a good boy.

Additionally, it would be very hard to not worship the prince, considering the way he might sometimes dress up for the passionate night with you. The scent of incenses, the bright coloured sheets, the dim light of the candles and him, dressed in thin, golden jewelry decorating his neck and waist and arms and ankles. His skin would smell of various body oils and perfume—intense but fitting him perfectly. Delicious.

He would love it if you took your time with him, praising him and his body. It would be a shame to finish the fun so quickly, since the night was so young, after all. The thing which would make him no less excited but definitely more flustered is if you repeated that you love him. Say it over and over again while slowly massaging the inner sides of his thighs and he would start stuttering when trying to say the same to you.

Agni:

Surprisingly or not, worshipping your body comes naturally to Agni, whether you would mention wanting to try it out or not. There was not a single time when he wouldn’t be worshipping you—caressing your body, stroking it in just the perfect ways and looking at you with such an endless amount of love that you would feel completely naked underneath him, if you weren’t already bare.

The very idea of having you in his bed is enough to make Agni’s cheeks warm and when it would happen, he would definitely want it to be as wonderful as possible. He would give you compliments, comment on those parts of the body you might not find particularly attractive (and with some undisclosed poetic skill cherish them with the sweetest words) and use his fingers to perform real magic upon your skin.

That is, because Agni has a great knowledge about bodies in general and so, no soft points would slip past his attention. He would find them all, touch them, massage, knead and leave open-mouthed kisses on them. None of your insecurities will be safe while Agni is on his watch!

He would literally show you things you had no idea were that pleasant, for example (if you were willing and allowed it, of course) he might give you the most relaxing feet massage. Then, he would move up to your calves and higher to the thigs, making sure that all your muscles are not tensed anymore.

His fingers are truly magical.

Once Agni would finally taste you, he wouldn’t let you go that easily. Watching your expression change during orgasm would be equal to the enormous wave of love for you drowning him yet once again—and he would be intoxicated by it. He would want to see you do it again and again, each time admiring how responsive you are and not being afraid to mention it from time to time. Agni would casually eat you up for the hours straight and end up with an honestly innocent stating that you taste delicious and he wants you to squeeze his tongue like that again.

Unintentionally he might cross the line of dirty talking but wouldn’t notice it until you told him. Then, he would get all flustered and become quiet.

Can you please do a head cannon for a s/o who is from Japan and is never really seen without some Green or Bubble tea and also always wears these cute kawwai Japanese clothes.(tbh it'd be cool if they were so pro with using chopsticks). It'd be great if you can do it with Masky, Hoodie, Toby, Jeff and BEN? Would also want them to keep on telling them to try some of the stuff they eat like sushi. Sorry if it's too long it's my first time requesting for Creepypasta headcannons ;w;

They’re all food nerds. 

Masky

Masky likes tea, but he’s more of a coffee kind of guy.

He wouldn’t think anything much of the style, except that if you try to put him in any cute clothing he’ll bite your fingers.

Unless it’s an edgy jacket that makes him look cool.

But he will accept any snacks.

He likes anything spicy, and sweet for that matter.

He’s a slut for Hi-Chews.

Once you introduce him to the candy, he’ll eat one after every cigarette.

If you speak Japanese to him, he’ll literally stare at you for 20 seconds and try to process whatever tf you just said.

This boi loves fish, and loves sushi for that matter.

Has 100% ate a glob of wasabi and proceeded to regret every single one of his life decisions.

But he’ll eat anything with noodles in it.

And Ramen is his favorite go-to.

Hoodie

Hoodie’s chill asf.

He doesn’t watch much anime except for the mainstream ones, and even those he doesn’t watch all the way through.

But he likes Ghibli films.

He absolutely loves Bubble tea, and he loves the bubbles more bc he’s a total slut for anything tapioca.

It’s his favorite pudding flavor.

Put together an outfit for him and he’ll wear the cutest shit.

Pink shirt, white jeans, kawaii uwu hat, just an entire pink aesthetic will be his jam for the entire day.

He likes anything sweet, so he’ll eat any Japanese snacks you throw his way.

He also doesn’t mind sushi, and he loves anything with chicken in it. Especially if it’s spicy.

He’ll eat a full ball of wasabi for 5 bucks.

Toby

He thinks it’s so cool!

He only watches some anime, he’s more into movies bc he has such a short attention span.

Other than that he doesn’t know much about Japanese culture.

Except that’s it’s cute as all heck.

He doesn’t know how to save his money, so he’s always adding stuff to your collection as little presents.

And maybe some things for himself to match.

He loves the candy, though.

And other tasty Japanese snacks.

Pocky and seaweed chips?

Yes please!~

He will love sushi after you introduce it to him!

And he’ll get a hang of chopsticks through his tics.

He likes tea, so he’s willing to make some for the both of you.

Aka failing terribly and having you make it instead.

Or just buy it from a nearby shop.

Jeff

He’ll steal all of your Japanese snacks that you’ve ordered.

And maybe some plushies.

He thinks the pocky game is dumb, but he lowkey wants to play it.

He doesn’t know how to play tho.

And he just wants to kiss you so this dumbass just fucking deepthroats it and CHOKEs.

He doesn’t know how to use chopsticks, and frankly, he’s too stubborn to try.

This heathen watches dubbed anime and if the anime doesn’t have a dub, he isn’t watching it.

He doesn’t like tea, so you don’t have to worry about him drinking any of it.

But he’ll take the ‘bubbles’ out when you’re done, freeze them, and keep them in his pocket to throw them at people.

He’s just an asshole like that.

But he likes all of the Japanese clothes and merch.

But he won’t eat sushi, he doesn’t like fish in general. (Except for basics like crab, lobster and shrimp). And he’ll scream if you offer him fish eggs.

BEN

He’s a McFreakin weeb.

He’s watches way too much anime and eats too many pocky sticks.

His favorite is strawberry and green tea.

So when you come into his life he just has to fangirl about everything you do and own.

He can speak some Japanese, but not a lot.

Everything he’s learned has been from anime.

And hentai

He wears a lot of Japanese clothing too, even if it’s just bs aesthetic stuff that says “Cool guy” in Japanese.

And like, anime action figures and basic merch.

BEN can pretend that he knows what he’s doing with chopsticks.

But he can’t eat stuff like rice or anything small that he has to pick up.

He’s the kind of guy that stabs the piece of meat to eat it with the chopstick.

He’ll take a drink of your bubble tea, find a way to get one of the 'bubbles’ in his mouth and then proceed to spitball it as a very dangerous projectile at your butt.

Also, if you want to piss off Jeff just have a conversation in full Japanese.

More like, you speak all of the Japanese and BEN only knows like 12 full sentences and keeps repeating them in different tones.

How do the slender brothers flirt/inpress someone

Slender: he’s not doing that unless you explicitly tell him how you want him to. He’ll die of shame if he tries anything else, no matter how successful he is.

Offender: hey bby you look hot af lemme get your number

Splendor probably just makes a lot of compliments!! He may try to show off how good he is with kids and be all “"hey, wouldn’t it be nice if we raised kids together!?” but that’s the most nsfvv it’s gonna get

Trender: “"Oh, my, your clothing… it appears to be torn… and the stitches… they’re about to come out…, take your clothes off so i can fix them for you…………. besides you look better nude.”

Fluffy relationship headcanons with Grell? (pretty please)

//No problem, dear :) Please enjoy//

Grell

She is the biggest romantic there ever was. Anything relatively romantically cliché will make her swoon like there is no tomorrow. If her partner gives her flowers or chocolates, she may just faint in their arms.

She is a huge cuddler and touchy-feely person. She loves just being in contact with her partner and knowing they are there.

Although she may not always show it, she really needs reassurance, and adores it whenever her partner compliments her/tells her they love her.

She would need a partner who could put up with her dramatic reactions, and wouldn’t mind if she squealed and fussed over how adorable they are.

Dates would be a big thing for her, as she would always want to go out and flaunt their relationship.

Telling her she is a “deadly efficient” reaper would boost her confidence immensely, although she already knows she’s the best one around. If her partner were to tell her this, she would not be able to wait until she could brag about it to all of the other reapers when she went to work next.

I know. That makes it so funny! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😄😁😆😉😌☺️🤣😂💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

... I can't even send a gif? Boooring!

Fascinating that you have been testing it.

Are you bored or are you jealous of the new case I'm working on?