Well... Since It Was Consensual, Does That Still Actually Count As Crime??? ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ˜โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿป

Well... Since it was consensual, does that still actually count as crime??? ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ˜โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿป

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

I Just Cut My Dick Off, And It's Bleeding A Lot... What Do I Do, Doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

More Posts from Talking-tarantula and Others

3 months ago

Agh! I just saw you do bb, can I get william t. Spears, sebastian, and claude christmas shopping with their s/o?

Ahhhhhhh

Willian T. Spears wouldโ€™t be used to you bouncing around like this in public, hell he was hardly used to you making a lot of noise, but here you are, giggling like a school girl. He watches with a raised brow as you rushed into shops and bought things, then refusing his request of showing him what you bought. He gave a small agitated sigh, before he walks behind you, noticing people smiling at your cheery, holiday attitude. He let a small smile make its way onto his lips. Maybe this wasnโ€™t so bad

Sebastian Michaelis was running errands for his young master, but honestly he didnโ€™t expect you to be there, but there you were. He shrugs, before dragging you out of the candy shop, before you were thrown out by the owner, Excuse me, ______. I donโ€™t think itโ€™s a good idea to piss that person off.โ€ He stated, his deep voice soft and smooth as he looks down at you.ย โ€œCome along, you can help me.โ€ He stated, holding your hand to keep you from running off. You smiled at him and followed him quietly and happily.,ย 

Claude Faustus was out working as well, letting out a long sigh before he rubs his neck slightly.ย โ€œWhere the hell did they go?โ€™ He asks, tilting his head and running a hand through his hair, sighing to himself.ย โ€œ____!โ€ He finally found you at the fountain in the square. He picks you up, tilting his head and sighing as he walked through the streets, earning a few weirded out looks, but he didnโ€™t care at all. He needed to take you home.ย 

1 month ago

Since youโ€™re taking requests for Winx Club could you do Professor Palladium with a fairy s/o?

Ah yes, Professor Legolas. I feel like every single person who watched Winx had a teacher crush on him.

Professor Palladium and fairy s/o (Winx)

S/o being a fairy doesnโ€™t really shock Palladium. Granted, fairies are rare as there are only 1-2 per planet, but this is a man who is regularly surrounded by fairies-in-training every single day.ย 

It does however give them something to connect over. Palladiumโ€™s studies are primarily in magic and he would be thrilled to have an s/o that can discuss its intricacies with him. They are the couple that reguarly has hearts-to-hearts over the historical implementations of charms, including their multiple evolutions.ย 

Palladium in a relationship is complicated. Though he has grown to be more confident in both himself and his teaching abilities Palladium struggles in the uncharted territory that is a relationship. Those old insecurities rear up their old heads. He wants to hold their hand, but heโ€™s not sure they want him to want to hold their hand. What if heโ€™s boring them?ย 

These insecurities cause this relationship to be hands-off for a while. Itโ€™s not that heโ€™s against affection; heโ€™s just not good at knowing when to be affectionate. Once heโ€™s had time with his s/o to really get to know their preferences, he is much more inclined to be physically affectionate.ย 

People usually have 1 love language, but they can have two. Palladium is one of those people who have 2.ย 

Words of affirmation - Compliments, compliments, compliments. Compliments destroy his insecurities with time and consistency. For a long while, itโ€™s a guaranteed way to make him flushed too. It doesnโ€™t need to be spoken! A sweet note stuffed between the pages of his schedule book, wishing a happy day to the loveliest man, will make him damn-near swoon.ย 

Physical Affection - I know I just said the relationship is hands-off at the start, but this is a man who is touch-starved. Victorian levels of touch-starved; the first time their hands brushed against one another on accident Palladium had to excuse himself before he melted into a puddle.ย 

There does come a day where thereโ€™s a shift. Relationships at their start always have hurdles - figuring out what peopleโ€™s boundaries are, finding confidence in certain actions - but once that is found, people are generally more confident. Palladium included. Day after day he gets more confident, more daring in his affection. Flirty banter becomes a thing (out of sight of his students, at least). More open affection (kisses on the back of the hand, flirty lines tossed their way as he tucks a hair behind their ear). S/o spent so long making him flustered that he is dead set on evening the score, and then some.ย 

3 months ago

Do you have any headcannons for slender?

Sure do~

Slenderman Headcanons:ย 

He should be considered a mafia boss with the number of people working for him.

But he's more accurately like a father with a bunch of children he hires to do work.

He's in charge of the entirety of the manor. What jobs are coming in, who does them, financial stability, electricity, water, medical needs, house repairs, etc.

In the Underworld, the mansion would be considered a business, and Slenderman is the CEO of said business. He recruits all of the residents in the mansion and they then form a sort of contract with him. This gives them immortality for the duration of the contract, grants them disguises when in the human world for reasons other than work, and it grants them room and board at the mansion.

He can project his voice outside normally, although if he needs to have a private conversation with someone he can do it inside their mind. He tries not to do this too often as he views it as an invasion of privacy.

He tries to maintain a personal level with all the residents of the mansion to make sure relationships amongst them are going well and nobody is getting too depressed, too dangerous, too angry. He likes to look out for them.

He thoroughly enjoys reading as his favorite hobby. In the mansion he has a huge library in the center of it that's several stories and has just about every book you can think of. He collects medical ones sometimes for EJ, some manga for BEN, or some YA novels for the younger creeps. One time Jane and Natalie got him into a few different YA romance novels and even though it wasn't his normal taste he got pretty into them and they talked about them over tea. This sparked a weekly book club that any of the residents can partake in.

He's also quite fond of poetry, and he even writes his own. He has that stored in the library as well although it's in a hidden section only a few people can access.

King of the kitchen. He can make just about any dish you could think to want. Being alive for so long grants you lots of time to experiment and try different foods.ย 

Loves gardening and has a huge garden that circles the entirety of the mansion. He takes an extreme amount of pride in it and thinks any residence isn't complete without some flowers. He is very protective of it and only allows a select few to manage it, Toby is one of them as it puts him to work and he too values flowers and nature.

1 year ago

Absolutely! I'm always up for some good food! ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜

Your favorite tarantula is back! ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ๐Ÿฅบ

So I was in Sweden for two and a half month and it was great! Unfortunately I couldn't access my mobile data (we didn't have wifi) for some reason and whatever I tried to make ot work didn't change anything!

When I went into Tumblr though when I did have wifi (at someone else's place) I couldn't access my old account ( @shame-of-chimical ) anymore so I had to set up a new one.

But I'm happy to be back and I missed you guys (I really missed spending time with Irene, sitting on Jim's nice and warm hand and Sherlock's awesome deductions and scientific explanation about things, but also I missed talking to Harry and the banter between John and Sherlock for example!)

But on that note, hello to @twireneadler, @criminalisticonsultant, @consult-sherlockholmes, @consultjohnwatson , @mrs-hudsons-blog, @mrs-turners-blog, @atamh, @antheaisntmyname, @therealharrywatson, @a-victorian-girl, and @everyone else that I might not have mentioned in my post! ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜ญโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿฅณ

5 months ago

Yay! So were you able to help that anon with his cut off dong, @consult-johnhwatson? Or is that thing free to use as food? Never tried human dick before... ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿป

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

I Just Cut My Dick Off, And It's Bleeding A Lot... What Do I Do, Doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

4 months ago

NSFW Jeff?

I tried not to say the obvious things (ex. blood play, knife play stuff like that). Also! I forgot to make this gender neutral, but Iโ€™ll gladly write one for male!~ย 

Jeff

Not too long tbh,

But boi is pACKing some girth

Average sized boi

Continuous stabbing motions is surprisingly a good body work out

So his torso and arms are nicely toned under that hoodie

He usually uses sex as a stress relief so expect some hate-fucking and roughness from time to time

Has a dominating kink, but doesnโ€™t mind being pinned down once in a while.

And maybe a daddy kink shhh

Lick the knife and immediate boner

Not a fan of foreplay

just wants to get into it

But if you want it, heโ€™ll kiss your neck and finger you until youโ€™re ready

Cannot find the g-spot

Even if you show him

But!! He does know where the clit is

Surprisingly good at giving oral

Heโ€™s got a NICE tongue

Heโ€™ll work wonders eating you out

And if you grab his hair and buck you hips against his mouth

His already hard cock will fucking twitch and throb

Heโ€™ll pull your hips closer and hold you down while you squirm

While fucking you tho?

A wild animal, to say the least.

As mentioned earlier, he likes it rough.

Heโ€™ll start slow and gather speed to find a pace that he likes.

Which is 214492e miles per hour

He might not be able to find your g-spot, bUT hIS DICK CAN!

He knows the perfect angle but he has to be hella hard for it to work

Will bite your neck and leave hickeys wherever he can

He gets turned on by pain, giving and recieving, so expect that.

Yank his hair, rake your nails up his back, hold his own knife to his throat and he may just cum from that alone

He wildinโ€™ asf

Heโ€™ll choke you and watch as your hands grasp at his arm with that FUckINg LOok on your face

Heโ€™ll cut you up if you let him, marking you as his

His neck is sensitive so kiss and bite that area,

Also if you put anything sharp to his neck heโ€™ll get this dumbass grin on his face

4 months ago

How would the slender brothers react to somebody going yandere over them? (Mother and Lume included). Maybe reader is this super powerful demon being who wants to love their new obsession. I always love the idea of insanely powerful readers, but dangerously powerful. Life with them is sweet as sugar! Praise, kisses, maybe a bit of jealousy here and there. But punishments are the worst hell imaginable

Slender

Slender pretends not to be intimidated.

He is.

But, to protect his ego, he forces himself into the mindset that he's superior, which is a dangerous game to play around you.

The first time he told you 'no' was quite interesting, and wet the mood for the rest of your short relationship.

"What did you just say to me?"

There was a tense silence, and it lingered in the air between the couple like a dense fog.

Slender slowly turned his head, questioning if the tone he heard was really as audacious as they seemed.

"I said, 'No, I would like to attend a party tonight with my business partners and Offender.'"

"That's what I thought you said."

Slender paused, and he would glare if he had the proper equipment. "You aren't my mother, I don't need to ask permission to leave the house at a reasonable hour."

"Well, we'll just have to find a way for you to stay home then."

"I'm not making up an excuse just-"

And before he could finish the next syllable, six thuds hit the ground. Out of pure primal instinct, Slender teleported somewhere safe inside his forest.

He left your claws immediately, and he'd rather stay that way, even if he must constantly be on the run from you.

Offender

Honestly, as long as you're nice to him, he might not even notice that you're yandere.

He loves attention, physical affection, praise, and sappy romance in general.

And you could kill him in one swipe??? That's sexy. He's already praising the ground you walk on.

He's always head over heels for people that are taller than him, considering it's extremely rare.

Sometimes a big guy like him just wants to be the little spoon, y'know?

But it will be difficult when Offender tries setting boundaries.

He's a man that has a big social circle, and if that is a problem for his dangerous yandere, he's going to be in for a hell of a ride.

After the first punishment, he realizes you're fucking insane and he needs to get out of there as soon as possible.

As a trade negotiator for Slender, he has a lot of connections, possibly beings that would be able to shelter him if need be.

He never learns his lesson, "The crazy ones are always the hottest."

Trender

He's not much of a fighter.

Trender would rather take the easy route and let you follow him around like a rabid puppy dog.

If you start complimenting him and giving praise, Trender will fluster to unimaginable limits.

And he hates to admit it, but he really loves the positive attention you give him.

He's so used to being unrecognized for his hard work in the small friend circle he has, it feels pleasant to have some pats on the back once in a while.

And he's a very passive being as well, you won't have to worry about him talking to other people or disobeying your wishes. He's just has a huge passive personality that likes to avoid conflict with the ones close to him.

Unless you're referencing his work.

If you try to control his work, his best stress outlet, then you're going to have an equally hard time punishing him as he's being disciplined.

He's stubborn just like his Mother, but he's also a huge baby when it comes to pain and discomfort.

He hates it, and promises to listen if you stop. But once the situation arises again, the exact same scenario plays out.

He'll try to escape from your claws as soon as possible if similar events keep happening.

Splendor

He thinks you adorable! And the both of you are sickeningly sweet together.

Splendor has a dark side as well.

He can be sweet as sugar one moment, and break your arm the next if he would really like to.

Splendor understands what it's like to be twisted in that sense, a terrible curse that's uncontrollable.

Chances are, he's willing to work through it with you, yandere or not, and work towards a healthy relationship.

Splendor falls hard when he's in love, and he'll do anything in his ability to mend your relationship.

Every couple has their bumps in the road.

Some couples argue, some sleep in different beds, some rip the bells off of a tendril because their partner spent too much time away from home.

But! Anything can be fixed with a little bit of love and duct tape! Splendor is sure of it. And he's convinced deep down you're the sweetest being in the Underrealm. You just need a little help discovering yourself.

1 year ago
Frollo Smirks
Frollo Smirks
Frollo Smirks
Frollo Smirks
Frollo Smirks

Frollo smirks

4 months ago

could we get some slender bros NSFW hcs?

(Creepypasta x Headcanon) NSFW Headcanons for the Slender Brothers -

~~~~

- Slenderman, as we all know, doesnโ€™t like humans and probably has a very low sex drive. If it was ever high, I would go run and hide because he would probably turn into another Sexual Offenderman, but worse. Obviously, he has a thing with using his tendrils to pleasure his partner and doesn't care if anyone walks in on him getting some action.ย 

- Splendorman may look like a sweet-heart and all innocent on the outside, but on the inside, heโ€™s very kinky and dirty, he just doesnโ€™t like that side of him, so he hides it away. His sex drive is also pretty low and thereโ€™s no need to worry if it ever gets high, heโ€™s very good at controlling himself. He likes blindfolding his partner and would be very embarrassed if someone walked in on him.ย 

- Trenderman, the OCD brother out of all of them. Heโ€™s fascinated in humans but also cringes at them. When he found out they do NSFW things with each other, he was horrified. Watching humans ripping off each otherโ€™s clothes and throwing them on the ground is like a horror movie for him. To say the least, heโ€™s not interested in anything thatโ€™s NSFW and you would probably never see him with a partner. If he did have a partner, do expect to see him making revealing clothes for them.ย 

- Sexual Offenderman... must I say more? His sex drive is high and is always high. He doesnโ€™t care about genders so everyone is basically doomed when heโ€™s around. Heโ€™s into the most kinkiest things ever. Hereโ€™s a list of his kinks: Sadism (Inflicting pain or humiliating his partner),ย Impact play (spanking, whipping, flogging - any kind of strike),ย Voyeurism (getting off from watching other people have sex),ย Katoptronophilia (anyone who loves having sex or masturbating in front of mirrors),ย Edgeplay (Considered riskier than usual kinks. It involves knives, blood, needles and more.),ย BDSM,ย BNT (involves inflicting pain on a woman's breasts and nipples), CBT (involves inflicting pain on a man's penis or testicles)...ย 

Could We Get Some Slender Bros NSFW Hcs?
1 year ago

Elementary! ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธโค๏ธ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿป

Hey Harry, I'm back and I've missed talking to you! ๐Ÿ•ท๏ธ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅน๐Ÿ˜ญ

oh Spidey! it's been a while...

welcome back?!?

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talking-tarantula - Your friendly Tumblr tarantula!
Your friendly Tumblr tarantula!

Just a friendly theraphosa stirmi that is capable of talking, spelling (typing) and shipping ships!

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