Elementary! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍☺️😌🥳😋😉😁😇👉🏻👈🏻

NSFW Jeff?

I tried not to say the obvious things (ex. blood play, knife play stuff like that). Also! I forgot to make this gender neutral, but I’ll gladly write one for male!~ 

Jeff

Not too long tbh,

But boi is pACKing some girth

Average sized boi

Continuous stabbing motions is surprisingly a good body work out

So his torso and arms are nicely toned under that hoodie

He usually uses sex as a stress relief so expect some hate-fucking and roughness from time to time

Has a dominating kink, but doesn’t mind being pinned down once in a while.

And maybe a daddy kink shhh

Lick the knife and immediate boner

Not a fan of foreplay

just wants to get into it

But if you want it, he’ll kiss your neck and finger you until you’re ready

Cannot find the g-spot

Even if you show him

But!! He does know where the clit is

Surprisingly good at giving oral

He’s got a NICE tongue

He’ll work wonders eating you out

And if you grab his hair and buck you hips against his mouth

His already hard cock will fucking twitch and throb

He’ll pull your hips closer and hold you down while you squirm

While fucking you tho?

A wild animal, to say the least.

As mentioned earlier, he likes it rough.

He’ll start slow and gather speed to find a pace that he likes.

Which is 214492e miles per hour

He might not be able to find your g-spot, bUT hIS DICK CAN!

He knows the perfect angle but he has to be hella hard for it to work

Will bite your neck and leave hickeys wherever he can

He gets turned on by pain, giving and recieving, so expect that.

Yank his hair, rake your nails up his back, hold his own knife to his throat and he may just cum from that alone

He wildin’ asf

He’ll choke you and watch as your hands grasp at his arm with that FUckINg LOok on your face

He’ll cut you up if you let him, marking you as his

His neck is sensitive so kiss and bite that area,

Also if you put anything sharp to his neck he’ll get this dumbass grin on his face

I would never eat you though, @consult-sherlockholmes! You're practically just skin and bones! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🤭😁☺️😳😉😋🥳🤣😂😌🙂🥺💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

I just cut my dick off, and it's bleeding a lot... What do I do, doctor?

Uh, cauterize it?

These pinchers actually also have a use in mating, or better phrased, to attract females. The more well-formed the pinchers are and the more they align, the more beautiful the male is and the more attractive the male is to the female.

What Do Earwigs Do With Those Pincers Anyway? | Deep Look

Earwigs are equipped with some pretty imposing pincers on their rear, and they're not afraid to use them. But when it comes to these appendages, size isn't everything.

Hello. Can you do boyfriend scenarios with Ronald knox (from kuroshitsuji / Black Butler). Like how he takes care of his s/o, and how he acts with them.

Wow, it’s been so long since I’ve done anything on this blog, man. And since this is more like headcanons I hope you don’t mind that’s what I’m doing.

Ronald Knox 

He’d love taking care of you, especially when you’re sick. He’d be all giggly and super loving, but also kind of a dick. He’d definitely tease you about getting ill so easily.

He’s an even bigger goofball when you’re around, because then it’s easier for him to love and hug up on you. He’s joking and very playful.

Usually he’s very energetic and sarcastic around you, but when he’s around others he’s very overprotective.

When his glasses are off, his hearing is heightened and when he sleeps next to you he likes to listen to your breathing.

He likes surprise kisses.

Do you have any headcannons for slender?

Sure do~

Slenderman Headcanons: 

He should be considered a mafia boss with the number of people working for him.

But he's more accurately like a father with a bunch of children he hires to do work.

He's in charge of the entirety of the manor. What jobs are coming in, who does them, financial stability, electricity, water, medical needs, house repairs, etc.

In the Underworld, the mansion would be considered a business, and Slenderman is the CEO of said business. He recruits all of the residents in the mansion and they then form a sort of contract with him. This gives them immortality for the duration of the contract, grants them disguises when in the human world for reasons other than work, and it grants them room and board at the mansion.

He can project his voice outside normally, although if he needs to have a private conversation with someone he can do it inside their mind. He tries not to do this too often as he views it as an invasion of privacy.

He tries to maintain a personal level with all the residents of the mansion to make sure relationships amongst them are going well and nobody is getting too depressed, too dangerous, too angry. He likes to look out for them.

He thoroughly enjoys reading as his favorite hobby. In the mansion he has a huge library in the center of it that's several stories and has just about every book you can think of. He collects medical ones sometimes for EJ, some manga for BEN, or some YA novels for the younger creeps. One time Jane and Natalie got him into a few different YA romance novels and even though it wasn't his normal taste he got pretty into them and they talked about them over tea. This sparked a weekly book club that any of the residents can partake in.

He's also quite fond of poetry, and he even writes his own. He has that stored in the library as well although it's in a hidden section only a few people can access.

King of the kitchen. He can make just about any dish you could think to want. Being alive for so long grants you lots of time to experiment and try different foods. 

Loves gardening and has a huge garden that circles the entirety of the mansion. He takes an extreme amount of pride in it and thinks any residence isn't complete without some flowers. He is very protective of it and only allows a select few to manage it, Toby is one of them as it puts him to work and he too values flowers and nature.

Fluffy relationship headcanons with Grell? (pretty please)

//No problem, dear :) Please enjoy//

Grell

She is the biggest romantic there ever was. Anything relatively romantically cliché will make her swoon like there is no tomorrow. If her partner gives her flowers or chocolates, she may just faint in their arms.

She is a huge cuddler and touchy-feely person. She loves just being in contact with her partner and knowing they are there.

Although she may not always show it, she really needs reassurance, and adores it whenever her partner compliments her/tells her they love her.

She would need a partner who could put up with her dramatic reactions, and wouldn’t mind if she squealed and fussed over how adorable they are.

Dates would be a big thing for her, as she would always want to go out and flaunt their relationship.

Telling her she is a “deadly efficient” reaper would boost her confidence immensely, although she already knows she’s the best one around. If her partner were to tell her this, she would not be able to wait until she could brag about it to all of the other reapers when she went to work next.

Happy Valentine's Day, by the way! To you and to @thedetectivefrom221b!! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😄😁😆😉☺️😌👉🏻👈🏻

... I can't even send a gif? Boooring!

Fascinating that you have been testing it.

Are you bored or are you jealous of the new case I'm working on?

I can't believe I'm actualy going to ask for this but, I wanna know Slender brothers reactions when one of the other creeps (or even the other brothers) tease him for his crush on the reader who happens to walks by at moment and hear everything? If you write for them and want to write this of course

Here you go! I hope you like it! Sooooooorrrry its taken so long ): 

~~~

Splenderman:

·         Splender cares not for ‘teasing’? Pft. What are you talking about! He’s a centuries old eldritch being who basically feeds off of the happiness around and inside him- you don’t think he’d have learnt not to be bothered by most words by now? (I say ‘most’, because words said by his brothers that ring with truth still, of course, hurt and push him to change and improve).

·         But, Slender is still irritating when he’s persistent. And Slender is always persistent. Stubborn bastard. Especially when he has a goal in mind- which is to get you and Splender out of his home because you’ve both been here for 3 months non-stop, beating around the bush with each other and not just coming out with your feelings and Slender is going to get you out of his house even if it means playing cupid *Disgust audible on ‘cupid’*.

·         Splender is aware of this ulterior motive to Slender trying to get him to confess… its just not enough. Splender never confesses feelings first to mortals, although he really wants to. He wants you to come to your own conclusions first because he doesn’t like the power imbalance involved in him taking the reins in a romantic relationship between you, a mortal, and him, an omnipotent immortal being. (Side note: He will absolutely never, ever, in a million years read your mind, either. Absolutely not)

·         They’re in one of the many hallways in the mansion and you’re walking through the kitchen on your way to the living room which will lead to this particular hallways, when everything goes to hell (Or heaven, depending on how you feel XD). “I can’t, Slender.”

·         Quickly, out loud and out right, Slender says. “You’ll never know how bleeding irritating your sense of morality is to me Splender.”

·         “Hm, what?” Splender hadn’t quite heard what he said because he had to quickly catch a book that had slipped off his pile, as he was busy carrying some books down the hallway (Towards the Livingroom doorway) to the archive room down the hall as his little brother badgered him.

·         “I said I hate your moral compass.”

·         “Ah, what’s new?”

·         Slender, for a moment, stops talking. Doesn’t have a quip ready yet then, Splender thinks. Must be thinking of a new angle to persuade me with.

·         Really he’s sensed your approach to the living room door, just as they are, and is waiting for the appropriate moment to be am evil little shit. “Ah, mind blip. What were we talking about again?”

·         Splender reads the cover of the book he saved from the floor absentmindedly. “My ‘Complete idiocy in staying in your home, that I helped to build in the first place, as I wait for lovely Y/N to confess to me so I can confess back and not force her into a relationship with our power imbalance, which is bothering you, King of The World Slenderman, for but a couple months of your immortal life’? I think that’s how you put it- I mean, I could have added some things but- “

·         “Oh, good afternoon Y/N. Finally. You’re here.” Slender greets you, standing now in the living room doorway as they stand, like, 2 feet from it. Definitely not far enough away that you didn’t hear all that. “You heard. That’s wonderful. Bye, then. I expect you both out by the morning- if I do see you then, you’re on your own for breakfast you squatters.”

·         Then Slender disappears and you and Splender are left standing shocked in the hallway.

·         “Umm… “Splender wonders what he could say, being cautious as he slowly lowers the books from his face. “Dear, we should talk.”

·         You grin. “Come on, hand me some of those books and we’ll talk while we put them away.”

Offenderman:

·         Look, Offender can handle teasing. All the Slender’s can (Except for Slender, haha), but Offender especially doesn’t mind it because he has total confidence in how, uh, disturbing he is and his ability to scare people off. Especially, he thought prior to this day, little scrawny oven fried teenagers.

·         But apparently, he had overestimated his capability with this particular pest.

·         Offender had come to Slender mansion today to rest up because no place is quite as uneventful and as such, good for rehabilitation as his brothers home (And also, you’re here so that’s obviously a factor) is, but Jeff had been catching him every time they were anywhere near each other with a quip or a chortle about his obvious feelings for you.

·         I mean, of course they were obvious (To everyone but you, clearly). He flirts with you heavily, and yet has never made a proper, serious -unwarranted, - advance towards your person. He always saves a seat for you if he knows you’ll be around, and he’s been around the mansion far more often then he used to be. So, yeah, it was obvious. Offender wasn’t trying to hide it- in fact he wanted you to know. But somehow you hadn’t picked up on the hints?

·         Jeff had, though. And, also, everyone else who has visited the mansion at any time that you and Offender are there as well. But Jeff is the only one posing a problem at the moment.

·         He just thought it was so funny, that Offender had found a person he actually liked, and who caused him to hesitate about hurting (The first time he met you, and he intended to hurt you he hesitated. And that is how he realised he had a crush), and Jeff would just not let that slide.

·         Offender had brushed him off and snapped back at him in his casual, yet very very threatening style enough today.

·         So now Jeff had to be really dealt with.

·         “Look, ugly child, in my experience a boy only spends this much energy on someone if he likes them. So, unless you want to prove your worthiness to me in a more private setting- I’d give it a rest!”

·         And that moment, in which Offender has cornered a Jeff The Killer who is now reconsidering his actions today in the shadow of the Sexual Offenderman, is the one you walk into.

·         Jeff and Offender spot you at the same time and as Offender’s wondering how he can twist this into him not actually threatening to rape Jeff, Jeff’s panicked pea brain goes a completely different direction to what his cunning (Yes, I promise you, when he isn’t panicked because a Slender Brother is hovering over him, he can in fact be smart) ass would have done in another position, and points to Offender and exclaims- “He’s in love with you!”

·         Offender stops- Well, actually, thank you Jeff, that’s actually helpful. You might actually hear it, now. But he is still frustrated by the boy so he turns away from him and just growls, “You’re excused, thank you for your service Jeff.” *And in Jeff’s head: And wish on your lucky star that I don’t visit you when you’re sleeping tonight. You’ll learn it’s not so funny to badger an eldritch monster. *

·         (Don’t worry, he doesn’t plan to visit Jeff at all. His focus is on you now)

·         Jeff BOOKS IT, anyway. Cuz he doesn’t know that!  

·         Now that it’s just you two, and he has sufficiently scared Jeff shitless, Offender brightens again. “Y/N!~ I think it’s a good idea that we have a sit down together and talk about this, yeah?”

·         *Cue Offender manipulating you through acting like a nice, level headed guy who just wants ya’ll to have tea together, into sitting with him and so he can charm you, now that he knows you actually understand his feelings*

Trenderman:

·         Zalgo is bored. And when Zalgo is bored, the Slender brothers end up getting bothered. It’s usually Splender or Slender (Mostly Slender) and almost never Trender, but Zalgo is happy to work with this.

·         There are two reasons Zalgo never gets to annoy Trender. 1. Trender is usually very levelheaded, and as such, is the least fun to play with. Zalgo can ordinarily, never find a good angle. And reason 2 is a result of the first reason: Being that he never has anything going on that can be picked on.

·         But… now, Zalgo knows about a little crush that Trender has! And as such, he can finally finish his collection of annoying the Slender Brothers. So yay for Zalgo!

·         Not so yay for Trender.

·         “Zalgo, I’m really busy, so let’s get straight to the point. We’ve never had any sort of relationship, so, and take this with the most sensitivity- why are you here??”

·         “Ooh, so authoritive and formal. Just like Slender- tell me, Slender’s older brother, why haven’t we had a relationship?”  

·         “Can I pay you to leave?”

·         “Oh right! You would rather Y/N think you’re hot. I wouldn’t worry, I’m sure they do. Don’t worry, you have Slender’s formality, Offender’s shoulders and Splender’s approachability, “Chef kiss. “Perfection!”

·         Trender’s mouth rips open and he forces a natural growl out. He hates being compared to his brothers. He is not a cocktail of his brothers; he is nothing more and nothing less then himself.  “You deeply offend me. You’re whole being does.”

·         “That’s what I go for!”

·         “Anyway- “

·         “Anyway,” Zalgo mimicks Trender here, getting a deep sigh from Trender in response. Chuckling, Zalgo, straightens himself and speaks again in his normal voice. “So you do like Y/N, right? I’m not way off?”

·         Trender, mid wiping down his face halts, then turns to look at Zalgo. “Wait- That was the point of this conversation!?”

·         “Yeah! Wasn’t that clear?”

·         “No!” Trender exclaims, outraged. He thought Zalgo was just mindlessly antagonising him- that sure is what it felt like!

·         “Well, haha, mate. You were way off, then!”

·         “Agh, YES! I like Y/N! Wouldja go, now?”

·         “Certainly!” And, with one last giggle, he does. Walking down the hall to Slender’s office. He sends finger guns and winks to someone hidden in one of the rooms he passes. “Oh hey Y/N, see ya later! I’m sure you have lots to talk with Trender about!”

·         “Uh… yeah… “ You, left standing in the doorway to your room as you were about to leave it and go get something to eat when Trender yelled at Zalgo that he liked you, turn down the hall to a very still, very surprised Trender. You raise your eyebrows.

·         “Oh… of course.” Trender drops his arms to his sides and zips his mouth shut again.

Slenderman:

·         “Toby… “Slender says the words slowly, nearly whining in frustration as he just wishes his proxy would leave him alone about you. Alas, Slender had made a mistake and given Toby the duties that revolve around being close to their boss all day, like a moron, and now he was stuck with him.

·         And it’s not like Toby is teasing his boss. No! He’s but… questioning him.

·         Interrogating him.

·         But in the friendliest way possible!... Which just so happens to annoy Slender even more.

·         “So, you don’t like them?? Yes? No? Maybe? ‘Its Complicated’? Do they scare you? Do you know anything about them? Have you told your brothers? I mean, I wouldn’t. You might though, they are you brothers and you trust them, right? RiGHt? Uh well… on second thoughts, maybe you don’t. You’re a lil bit of a locked shell you know boss? You should confide in someone more! You’d feel way more chill. I confide in Masky or Clocky! Masky only with gross things like this mole I have on my butt- He hates it. I also talk to Hoodie! But I feel like he tells everything to Masky, he’s a bit untrustworthy. A bit off, I dunno. Scares me- OH maybe that person that you can confide in, sir, can be Y/N!”  

·         “Toby!”

·         “Yes boss?!”

·         “Calm yourself!”

·         “Yes boss!!”

·         “I need to stop hiring rando’s off the street… “Slender mutters to himself, continuing down the hallways even grumpier than usual. “Next time I need to pick up an accountant or a lawyer or something… Absolutely no more waffle crazy arsonists. “

·         “What was that sir?”

·         “I was just pondering where I should bury you after I get your replacement trained.”

·         “Ah, right sir! I always liked that bit of earth down by the lake- not too cold, not too warm, no bears nearby… “

·         Slender groans, turning and entering into the living room and going for the kitchen. He needs a cup of tea desperately.

·         “Toby, new rule. No more talking about my ALLEGED feelings for Y/N, got it? Punishment is death.”

·         “I wont need to sir.”

·         Immediate suspicion fills Slender’s chest. Toby… wont… need to talk about it? Why? “Why is that, Toby?”

·         “She’s sitting on the couch, sir.”

·         Slender has never whipped around so fast. But once he has, he definitely feels the need to do it faster, again, and run off somewhere but he restrains himself.

·         There you are, bundled in a blanket on the couch like a caterpillar sitting up the remote and some of your fingers peaking out from the face hole (The struggle of turning on the TV when you’re bundled up in the blanket, aghh). Your eyes are wide, as anyone’s would be after hearing the Slenderman hint that he has feelings for you.

·         It’s a very awkward moment. You, a caterpillar, Slender, a mute, and Toby looking between the two of you expectantly waiting for something to happen.

·         … Before Slender teleports away without a word.

I need to ask this, yandere tim and yandere brian p o l y realationship?

Jelly bois

Yan!Tim & Brian

Yandere + yandere never work out.

Yanderes are way too possessive to share.

So, interest is peaked with they agree to a poly relationship.

Things will be rough around the edges, to say the least, and the household will be toxic.

Well, more toxic than usual with yanderes.

It’s more of a, share sometimes

There are constant quarrels and arguments between the boys over you.

Sometimes is about the other spending too much time with you, giving you better gifts, or potentially trying to scare the competition off.

Masky is more controlling than Hoodie, and he’s way more confrontational.

He isn’t afraid to start a fight if needed.

They both get jealous extremely easily.

Remember the play wrestling?

Crank that up to a 10, but with each other.

They’ll spar with each other occasionally, behind your back.

Even if they are best buds (maybe more in a poly djdsjagdas), they’ll go through anything to be with their s/o,

A l o n e.

This means sometimes kidnapping you.

Especially Masky, who’s an expert at not waking you up while moving you around the house.

Aka taking you away from Brian.

He’ll just pick you up, make intense eye contact with Hoodie and walk slowly out of the room with you in his arms.

Leaving you to wonder how you woke up in Tims’s arms when you went to bed under Vrian’s fur blanket.

Bascally it’s a game of capture the flag but it’s capture the s/o.

But they lowkey love each other.

Bc Brian will be caught sleeping on top of Tim on the couch.

And when you catch him he’ll get a little flustered and deny it.

They’ll also be your big and tol body guards when you go out in public together.

They’ll generally just fuck around with people who look at you for more than .3 seconds.

Aka scaring the FucK outta them.

And maybe tag-teaming punching them in the stomach and then running off to catch up with their s/o who’s still ordering food.  

They’ll eventually learn to work out their differences with each other.

One way or another.

Cue a suspicious wink.

Do you have any headcannons for the kind of wired stuff the slender brothers got into as kids/ their sibling dynamic?

Slender Brothers 

None of the brothers liked Splendor after he was born.

In fact, Offender and Trender were always finding unique ways to either hide their baby brother in hopes that Mother would forget about him or, just straight up sell him to people on the street.

Neither of these tactics worked, for obvious reasons.

Splendor was just having a ball the entire time though.

Trender found a way to sew him into a cocoon made of the drapes in the entry hall.

Mother came home and immediately saw this lump running in circles, trying to get out of the curtain, laughing the entire time.

We have confirmed that Splendor has, in fact, eaten dirt as a child.

Probably Offender, too, let's be honest.

Splendor is the youngest sibling, so everyone just low key bullied him.

Still does

But he always found a way to passive-aggressively get them back.

Blackmail, for example.

They always try to get along in front of their mom.

To a, make her happy and b, they know they'll get a smack to the head if they don't stop being fools.

Offender got in a physical fight with Slender in his teenage years because Slender ushered his lady-friend out of the house while Offender was using the bathroom.

Offender got pissed, and his first angsty teenage instinct is to start swinging.

He got a few hits on Slender before he got chucked through the kitchen window.

And Splendor and Trender were just standing there with their fruit loops like: 👁️👄👁️

Slender is petty as hell, so he still holds it against him to this day, which is why they're always a little tense around each other.