"I Can't Breathe! I Mean... I Can, But Why Would I Want To?"

"I'm trying to listen to a dwarvern shanty here, pal!"

“Physically I’m here, but spiritually I’m in 15th century France being a lesbian.”

“It’s not porn, one of them is on fire!”

"Tell me what pen you use, WITCH!"

"I'm so lonely... SHIT I FORGOT TO EMAIL THEM BACK!"

Spending time with my family... I am definitely going to hear some stupid things

"Insulin is the hormone equivalent of 'not like other girls'"

"I got so distracted by lesbians I forgot the point of the story!"

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse...

M: ...

B: ...

M: ...

B: We skinned him.

M: ...

B: We needed the leather!

“When I get to Hell, Satan will throw a ball at me.”

-Me, explaining how much I hate PE