“He’s such an overprotective mother hen sometimes.”
-My friend, while literally talking about Satan
“Nothing is ever romantic if one person involved is dead!”
“Hula Hoops are the food of the Gods!”
-Me, being right
"Is that an actual certified citrus fact? Hey that's my band name."
“Chicken groin.”
-My grandma, meaning chicken thigh
"We need more queer pyromaniacs around here!"
"I'm not gonna finish that sentence for legal reasons."
"Thank you for defending my honour, I'm the Loch Ness Monster."
“Elizabeth, what’s your name?”
-my mother
“Why does February have, like, no days??”
-Someone I used to think was smart
107 posts