“We Thought It Was A Toilet Chain!”

"I got so distracted by lesbians I forgot the point of the story!"

“You’re in trouble!”

-My science teacher in the same way kids do after someone was told to come to the office

There is literally no difference between 4 and 3. You stop these lies

“I’m far too goth for gravey.”

-Me, not goth in any way

"Kill him, lesbians!"

How did he die?

Death.

"I'd throw a parade to annoy mysterious goats"

"I'm so lonely... SHIT I FORGOT TO EMAIL THEM BACK!"

He ate his friend. He ate his fucking friend

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!

“Your homework is to pee in a jar for a week...”

-My science teacher