He Ate His Friend. He Ate His Fucking Friend

“The Hell do I need kidneys for?”

“Your homework is to pee in a jar for a week...”

-My science teacher

I should probably clarify that this was in a game

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!

"We need more queer pyromaniacs around here!"

“Karl Marx was a frickin’ babe.”

-A very strange person who was once sent the entire communist manifesto and just replied “hot”

Not all trolls, mam

“She’s come out the closet!”

-My grandma... when I told her I was vegetarian

“Smells like science...”

-A girl, with a great sense of smell, literally walking into the science lab

"I'm trying to listen to a dwarvern shanty here, pal!"

"Mushrooms are overrated! Yeah, I said it!"