You Don't Understand How Badly I Want To Eat Your Writing

i remember in middle school watching my friends say stuff like omg i went on a date we went to the movies <3 like bro if your mom dropped you off that was a playdate

being aro is so funny like i remember being in junior high and hearing my classmates bragging about being in relationships and just thinking that dating at our age was pointless bc none of us had any money to go places on a date

hai deer how was ur day ?!

hi anon!!!! i enrolled for classes for my final semester today wooo !!!!!!! but i have a big essay due tmr tho that i gotta start LMAO but it's been really good !

thank you for asking anon :) please tell me about your day!!!

MANN i just found your blog and ur dazai is just 😭😭😭🥲🥲🥲 i love it. hes so pathetic, i love pathetically obsessed men, my beloathed ❤️❤️. ur writing is mwah mwnah mwah kissing you on your forehead ,,,,

but i read that lil hand playing excerpt and i just... gahh cute!

lol this is probably a dumb little thing but i like cracking my friends knuckles, i would def crack his knuckles if i held his hand, just to see his reaction (and i think its satisfying)

anyway thank you for your service 🫡 gained a follower my good sir

GDJAEHD THANK YOU!!!! i will continue to be pathetic dazai's number one soldier 🫡 i can imagine reader adding slight pressure to his knuckles before suddenly CRACK! ... dazai just looks so bewildered for a moment O.o he'll just give you his other hand and ask if you'll do it again LMAO

rock band member dazai where he’s often in the media for drama between him and his previous ex band partner and you happen to run into him (anonymously!) on a chatting app. eventually his “personal conflicts “ he tells you about him and a ex friend start to align a lot with a certain famous singer’s tabloid scandals, so you bite the bullet and ask if it’s him or if he is just going through the same exact specific events dazai is. he ends up revealing his identity and you end up getting backstage tickets to his shows and he ends up just as obsessed with you as you are (chuuya is pissed that somehow that shitty dazai got a partner before him)

its u.

Dazai’s heart rate picked up at the two grammatically incorrect words that popped up in his notifications. You’d been so close to figuring it out for weeks; Was today finally the day?

wdym

Right: play dumb. There’s no guarantee you figured out who he is, so he just needs to stay calm.

Sure, week after week he’d tell you stories from his life that popped up in magazines and circulated around online the next day or so, always causing you to come back and flaunt it in his face that your favorite guitarist had done it “bigger and better” (even though the stories were the exact same). You frequently pointed out similarities in them (being him and… himself) to the point where he almost saved and told you several times, but something always held him back. Maybe he should just finally rip the bandage off.

A photo message came in. It was a screenshot - a screenshot of a picture Dazai had sent you. In the background had a bright red circle around something small. He zoomed in, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Couldn’t you just type it out? What a hassle - oh.

Yeah, he should’ve listened when his manager told him to pick it up and display it properly.

The image was a bird’s eye view of his hand, flashing his fresh coat of nail polish and his rather messy wooden floors (and his cute orange halloween socks). Nothing too damning upon first glance. Sure, you’d mentioned that your favorite band’s guitarist had painted his nails the same color, but that was mere coincidence, right?

No. Because this lazy moron couldn’t put things away, in the top left corner of the photo - the area circled in red - showed an opened package with the platinum record his band was gifted for their most popular song. Why would he have that if not a member of the band himself?

He looked up from his phone blankly, staring at the package still nestled on the side of his room. The only difference from the photo is that it had been pushed slightly to the side since then, stopping him from tripping over it. What a stupid mistake; Dazai had always been much more careful than this (except when he wasn't).

dude

u let me gush to u ab URSELF????

im embarrassed

Dazai smiled. Well, at least things weren’t awkward.

It had been a few months and you and Dazai were happy to talk in person now that he didn’t have to hide his face. You’d been backstage at many of his shows, meeting his bandmates and spending time in person. It had honestly been so much fun, but sometimes Dazai missed the cat and mouse game he’d been playing when you were unsure of his identity - back when you texted him rumors and articles about his own life, saying how crazy it was that your favorite artist went through the same things as him.

He’d woken up earlier than he wanted to due to the myriad of calls blowing up his phone. “What..” He grumbled, not even bothering to check caller ID. “Who is this?”

“You asshole! You got a fucking partner before I did? And they’re hot, too! No way they settled for you,” Chuuya continued to grumble while Dazai put him on speaker phone, tuning him out. Whatever he was yapping about didn’t matter once he noticed a notification from you.

do u know this guy? he seems to be goin thru the same things u r…

A link is included, leading Dazai to an article with a picture of him and you. The first thing he notices is how smitten he looks with you, causing him to blush very faintly as he smiles to himself. Is that really what he looks like around you?

Rockstar Dazai Osamu Finds New Fling - Or Maybe More?

More, definitely more.

“Are you listening, asshole?” Chuuya shouted from his speaker. “How’d ya get a partner before me?”

Dazai smiled, saving the paparazzi shot onto his phone. “My height, definitely.”

all characters have versatility if you're willing to write ooc enough

Jealous demon dazai,, but like..growling teeth tearing claw jealous demon dazai..please hear me out guys

if you'd like a darker side of demonzai, i'll be happy to provide

cw: murder), blood and slight gore

it's in his nature to be cruel and wicked, even if you try to forget about it.

but it's impossible to ignore the glaring truth when you have dazai letting the mask slip right in front of you, the claws he pokes at you with painted a dark red, some mess of bloody flesh held in his hands as he stands in your doorway. his usual smile; mischievous and charming, is too forced now, too sharp and accompanied by an unnatural amusement.

"dazai," you call out, unsure of what to make of the scene, "what..."

you tell yourself it's a prank of some kind—he did like scaring you with props and silly stunts, but there was something about his blank gaze that told you otherwise.

"what?" he echoes, his smile widening, "you mean who, right?"

and he giggles—the sound sends shivers down your spine, your heart pounding—glancing down at the remains splattered over the floor with a slight pout.

"sorry 'bout the mess," his tone was far too light to be apologetic, but you stayed silent, "i'll get it cleaned up by morning."

"okay," you exhale, hoping he didn't comment on how your voice trembled, "and...who...?"

you're not sure if you want to know the answer, not sure if you could handle the weight of it, but seeing how excited he looked at the question, you knew he's have told you regardless.

"can't you guess?" he giggles again, and your eyes are fixated on how there's still blood dripping from his hands, the pool on your floor and the...pieces, "it was the delivery guy. you know, the one who stared at you all weird."

you think about dazai, and how he stares too. how he stares at you like he can't decide if you're worth keeping alive, if you'd be more fun to chase down than play house with.

you can't manage a reply.

"don't worry," he giggles again, and you're thinking about the cheerful expression that was ripped away by sharp claws and a deceiving smile, "nobody saw me. i made sure of it."

it was a good thing. if anyone had seen him, there would be far more blood on your floor and a larger mess for you to pretend to ignore.

"thar's good," your mouth moves on its own, and all you can hear is ringing in your ears. dazai's lips move, too, but you don't know what he's saying anymore. there's still blood on his hands, dripping to the floor. he'll want to hold you with those same hands, later tonight.

and you won't be able to refuse.

Silly elf lil shit (think of Elysia from hi3rd) and Dazai asks them to play with their ears just to get surprised from them saying sure LMFAOOAOS

Also HOW R U POOKIE :3 hope u eat and sleep well !!

THANK UUU i am doing my best 😭 but i’ve been eating and sleeping well 💪🏻 that’s half the battle

Dazai’s mischievous grin had Kunikida sighing. Oh well, at least it's not pointed towards him.

You were working silently on a report, bored out of your mind. If you weren't worried about getting fired (has anyone been fired from the ADA?), you would've pushed it off until tomorrow... or maybe the next day. A sigh passes your lips as you glance up from the computer screen, looking for a welcomed distraction.

Making eye contact with Dazai, you knew it'd be easy.

Pointed ears twitch in amusement, smirking back towards the brunet. His eyes seemed to shine at the movement, standing up to move behind you. "Hello, love," his hands rest on your shoulders, fingers grazing your ears on the way to their perch. It was obvious he had some sort of plan brewing.

"Dazai," you greet curtly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" You were keeping it formal, sure, but that's only because you knew it'd make Dazai work harder to distract you from your work — something you'd accept graciously.

"So harsh, hm? No pet names, no words of affection..." he pouts, spinning your chair around to look at him. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you don't love me!"

"Maybe that's what I'm trying to achieve," you tease.

Dazai shakes his head, clicking his tongue thrice is disapproval. "The only way to do that is to deny me my next request. Of course, if you want me to think you don't love me..." he trails off, an evil smirk that has you flustered. The smirk is evil because it's so pretty — anyone would have a hard time denying it. ("Not anyone," you hear Kunikida in your head.)

"And what is that request?" Your ears twitch again in amusement, much to Dazai's delight. He doesn't expect you to say yes, but that won't stop him from asking:

"Can I play with your ears?"

It's so hard to catch Dazai off guard, but your easy "Yes," seems to do just that.

He grins so boyishly and excitedly, hands immediately pulling at the pointed tips of your ears (for which you chastise him, pouting about how that hurts) and poking the skin.

You spin around in your chair, letting him mess with them from behind as you turn back to your reports. Maybe now you’ll be able to get something done.

YOURE BACK !!! YAYY im literally at episode 10 of the apothecary diaries (yes im watching it almost a year later)

You’re making me consider reading the manga 😞

OMG YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE!!!!! first of all IM BACK!!!!! sometimes you just need to disappear for um. a few months! before locking tf back in 🐺 secondly YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE i loveee apothecary diaries it has nestled its way into my brain like a worm and the manga only gets better im so excited for s2

im glad to be back 😎 cleaned up my acct a little too teehee my masterlist is ever growing and hopefully a bit easier to traverse. LOCKED IN!!!!!!!

hi deer :3

i drew a deer the other day and thought of you but tumblr is crushing my dreams and wont let me send a pic through anon 🥲

anyway, good luck on your finals I BELIEVE IN YOU

-🩵

omg hii 🩵anon!! yeh tumblr doesnt allow anons to send pictures :( i appreciate the thought tho 🥺🥺 im sure its v cute!

and THANK YOU!!!!! im doing my best!!!! i have one more big project, one exam and one quiz and then im finally home free 😭

sorry for asking but are u cool with nsfw stuffs?

idk! ive never written for it so probably not :( feel free to send smth and worst case i just delete the ask lol