rock band member dazai where he’s often in the media for drama between him and his previous ex band partner and you happen to run into him (anonymously!) on a chatting app. eventually his “personal conflicts “ he tells you about him and a ex friend start to align a lot with a certain famous singer’s tabloid scandals, so you bite the bullet and ask if it’s him or if he is just going through the same exact specific events dazai is. he ends up revealing his identity and you end up getting backstage tickets to his shows and he ends up just as obsessed with you as you are (chuuya is pissed that somehow that shitty dazai got a partner before him)
its u.
Dazai’s heart rate picked up at the two grammatically incorrect words that popped up in his notifications. You’d been so close to figuring it out for weeks; Was today finally the day?
wdym
Right: play dumb. There’s no guarantee you figured out who he is, so he just needs to stay calm.
Sure, week after week he’d tell you stories from his life that popped up in magazines and circulated around online the next day or so, always causing you to come back and flaunt it in his face that your favorite guitarist had done it “bigger and better” (even though the stories were the exact same). You frequently pointed out similarities in them (being him and… himself) to the point where he almost saved and told you several times, but something always held him back. Maybe he should just finally rip the bandage off.
A photo message came in. It was a screenshot - a screenshot of a picture Dazai had sent you. In the background had a bright red circle around something small. He zoomed in, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Couldn’t you just type it out? What a hassle - oh.
Yeah, he should’ve listened when his manager told him to pick it up and display it properly.
The image was a bird’s eye view of his hand, flashing his fresh coat of nail polish and his rather messy wooden floors (and his cute orange halloween socks). Nothing too damning upon first glance. Sure, you’d mentioned that your favorite band’s guitarist had painted his nails the same color, but that was mere coincidence, right?
No. Because this lazy moron couldn’t put things away, in the top left corner of the photo - the area circled in red - showed an opened package with the platinum record his band was gifted for their most popular song. Why would he have that if not a member of the band himself?
He looked up from his phone blankly, staring at the package still nestled on the side of his room. The only difference from the photo is that it had been pushed slightly to the side since then, stopping him from tripping over it. What a stupid mistake; Dazai had always been much more careful than this (except when he wasn't).
dude
u let me gush to u ab URSELF????
im embarrassed
Dazai smiled. Well, at least things weren’t awkward.
It had been a few months and you and Dazai were happy to talk in person now that he didn’t have to hide his face. You’d been backstage at many of his shows, meeting his bandmates and spending time in person. It had honestly been so much fun, but sometimes Dazai missed the cat and mouse game he’d been playing when you were unsure of his identity - back when you texted him rumors and articles about his own life, saying how crazy it was that your favorite artist went through the same things as him.
He’d woken up earlier than he wanted to due to the myriad of calls blowing up his phone. “What..” He grumbled, not even bothering to check caller ID. “Who is this?”
“You asshole! You got a fucking partner before I did? And they’re hot, too! No way they settled for you,” Chuuya continued to grumble while Dazai put him on speaker phone, tuning him out. Whatever he was yapping about didn’t matter once he noticed a notification from you.
do u know this guy? he seems to be goin thru the same things u r…
A link is included, leading Dazai to an article with a picture of him and you. The first thing he notices is how smitten he looks with you, causing him to blush very faintly as he smiles to himself. Is that really what he looks like around you?
Rockstar Dazai Osamu Finds New Fling - Or Maybe More?
More, definitely more.
“Are you listening, asshole?” Chuuya shouted from his speaker. “How’d ya get a partner before me?”
Dazai smiled, saving the paparazzi shot onto his phone. “My height, definitely.”
I love your writing they make me giggle and kick my feet every time GDJSHSNSJJSJEJDJEMUDNDKEJJ giggling rn too because Dazai<33
I LOVE YOU MWA MWA THANK YOU FOR FEEDING ME WITH YOUR AMAZING WRITING 😘😘😘 reading ur posts is now a part of my nighttime routine frfr
NIGHTTIME ROUTINE ???? omg thank you sm anon!!! i feel like ive made it 😖😖😖 i will continue to work hard 🫡
dazai is alive you just dont get it
TWO requests in my inbox that aren't dazai related omggg im branching out
this is my way to warn those two requesters that i havent written for anyone else 💀 if it is bad IM SORRY but i promise to do my best 🫡
nsfw dazai fic is dropping next and i want it OUT of my drafts so i'll probably drop it soon
your writing is so delicious and good and you make my heart feel all warm and happy but you’re writing is so good you could break my heart if you ever write angst w dazai
HEUWHNFEHIS THANK YOU??????? also. angst . hmmm.... 😋😋
maybe one day anon!!! i like silly fluff fics! my thing is i always want a happy ending 😭 so even if theres angst im gonna switch up half way thru haha
yk sometimes pm!dazai or ada!dazai takes off his trench coat and he only has his button up and waistcoat on? (its giving slay ngl) so maybe if he had a partner he’d occasionally lend his darling his coat because it’s cute and vv silly…
his coat pocket would have the weirdest things too: a crumpled page of the suicide book, a piece of bandaged that has yellowed due to oxidization, dog food etc
in my head im like how Dare he tarnish his beloved suicide book but that mf probably has 12 more copies at home lmao
I feel like instead of dog food he'd keep cat food for the street kitties that wander up to him :( he'd give them little pets and laugh so softly and sincerely as their heads bury into his coat pockets!!! He's all "You must've smelled the treats, hm? It's a good thing I keep them on hand for smart kitties like you," as he gently pushes them away so he can dig his hand in there to feed them rrgggg
PM!Dazai was shocked to see you shivering beside him. He was usually the one to get cold before you, and yet he found himself practically overheating in his black coat as he pulled it off his shoulders - at least that’s what he told you. Practically turning blue, you weren’t in any position to decline as he plopped it on your shoulders.
You immediately stuffed your hands in the pockets, trying to warm up your frozen fingers so they could move again. After a moment, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you turned slowly to look at the brunet.
“Dazai…”
“Yes, love?” He sends you a large grin, a teasing lilt in his tone.
You deadpanned, clearly unamused. “Your cold ass hand is not helping.”
His fingers intertwined with yours, his grin only growing as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll take my coat back if you’re gonna be ungrateful,” he stuck his tongue out.
You smirked before pulling Dazai in close, wrapping the coat around him as well by wrapping your arms around him. “I’d never be ungrateful to my lovely Dazai! C’mon, I’ll keep you warm, too.”
“But I’m not cold— “
“I felt your freezing hand, Dazai; You aren’t fooling me.”
ADA!Dazai doesn’t need a reason to give you his coat. You look cute, and he wants to help you look cuter. Reason enough, right?
The two of you were lounging around working at the agency, with you focused on the report Kunikida had politely asked you to take care of. Dazai had been on the opposite side of the room at his own desk, coat draped behind him on his chair as he stared at you. His face was resting in the palms of his hand, leaning forward on his desk to get a better look at you.
Wow…
The way the setting sun came in from the window to light up your face had Dazai perfectly silent, mesmerized by you and your beauty. A loud sneeze came from you, whole face scrunching up as your elbow covered your nose briefly. Your sincere apology before immediately going back to your work had Dazai holding back coos, just wanting to hold you close and dote on you in the moment. He stood up, heading over to your side of the room and standing behind you. His coat was draped over his arm, the fabric rubbing against you he leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.
“You must be getting a cold, hm?” He draped his beige trench coat over your shoulders, pulling your arms away from the report and stuffing them through the sleeves.
The action had you laughing, caught off guard as he pretty much dressed you in his coat. “You alright, Dazai?”
“Mhm, just wanted to keep you warm as your thoughtful boyfriend.” He leaned his body onto you, arms draped around your shoulders and chin digging into your head.
“Wow, you’re so sweet,” you replied sarcastically. Of course you knew he just wanted to see you wearing his oversized coat. “What would I do without you?”
Your hands slipped into the big pockets, letting out a soft chuckle as you pulled out crumpled up papers. “Do you keep these on hand?” You ask teasingly, reading the many ways to die as you flattened out the pages. In the margins were notes he must’ve scribbled down, many of which are just your name with little hearts scratched around them.
Dazai quickly snatched the pages from you, shoving them in the pockets of his white pants instead. “That’s nothing you need to worry about, love.”
all characters have versatility if you're willing to write ooc enough
Nikolai Gogol masterlist bsd masterlist main masterlist
Nikolai Gogol asks you to stay. You... (3 fic standalone series) yandere tendencies (possessiveness, manipulation...), very toxic, could be dubcon?, he deffo doesn't ask you to stay he more just tells you to, sorry!
Doormat reader ft. Dazai, Ranpo, Atsushi, Chuuya
Nikolai when you hide things down your shirt ft. Dazai gn reader but breasts/bra is mentioned
Nikolai making you cry ft. Dazai cheating, whatever's going on in Nikolai's portion, both are terrible, first time writing for Nikolai so it's mediocre
YOURE BACK !!! YAYY im literally at episode 10 of the apothecary diaries (yes im watching it almost a year later)
You’re making me consider reading the manga 😞
OMG YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE!!!!! first of all IM BACK!!!!! sometimes you just need to disappear for um. a few months! before locking tf back in 🐺 secondly YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE i loveee apothecary diaries it has nestled its way into my brain like a worm and the manga only gets better im so excited for s2
im glad to be back 😎 cleaned up my acct a little too teehee my masterlist is ever growing and hopefully a bit easier to traverse. LOCKED IN!!!!!!!
i just wanna hug dazai all the time randomly (i never get hugs at home) and if he were to hug me i would cry (a little)
i also feel likes his hugs would feel so so safe warm and comforting
(could i please be 🌹 anon?)
im collecting more anons like Pokémon omg YES you are in my Pokédex now hiiii 🌹anon sorry this took so long (like every rq oops!)
i included platonic hcs at the end as well bc why not
cw: dazai-standard suicide mention, i use the word vomit once ?
Hugging Dazai catches him off guard. Or it used to, you had found - randomly jumping on top of him throughout the day whenever you'd see him. It started sporadically and became more frequent, which led to Dazai becoming more prepared. He'd tense up as you entered a room, ready for you to pounce.
It started as a playful bit, knowing Dazai tended to short circuit when given affection. You'd seen it multiple times with Atsushi, the lovable boy having no clue why Dazai would panic a little when randomly given flowers that one time, or why he was so surprised when Atsushi spared a few kind words. It was little things, things Dazai clearly wasn't used to, and it always made you smile.
So of course, you wanted to do the same.
The first time he nearly pushed you off of him, choosing instead to hold his hands up like you were some cop trying to take him down. The second he'd merely frozen, breath baited as he waited for you to let go. By the third, he was able to brush it off with an awkward laugh, and the more it happened the more he was able to respond with a joke or the like. But you never missed the way his whole body seemed to pause for a moment.
Of course, once you noticed he was mentally and physically preparing before you even did it, you started to think you might've pushed too hard. Was he uncomfortable? Was he unsure of how to ask you to stop? It made you feel guilty, especially when he started flinching when you entered the room, knowing what was coming next.
You stopped.
It wasn't like it was hard, and the guilt eating at you was much worse. Dazai wasn't the only touch starved one, but you'd not-so happily give up the brief second of hug you got when seeing Dazai in favor of him feeling safe around you, as well as keeping your friendship alive.
It was hard at first, arms moving up slightly on instinct as you had to constantly remind yourself to stop. After maybe a week of no more hugging, you finally felt relieved - everything was back to normal. Dazai wouldn't freeze when you walked into a room, your hands wouldn't twitch as though trying to reach out for him.... Everything was normal.
Except Dazai, again.
Something was off, you could tell. While everyone gets confused sometimes, watching Dazai of all people furrow his brows and look away from you was almost scary. One of the greatest geniuses in Yokohama was confused by something - by you. Nothing had changed, had it? Maybe he was confused by why the hugs stopped, but you're sure he's smart enough to realize that on his own. You didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around you, that's all.
It didn't take long for the confusion to turn to veiled fear. He hid it well, you being none the wiser - but Dazai couldn't help the anxiety that grew around you. It wasn't like you were avoiding him, you still acted the exact same. You just kept your hands behind your back and made sure to maintain distance.
But that's what scared Dazai - the distance. The worry and fear he felt stemmed from the reason why; why had you stopped in the first place? All he could think of was that you finally figured out his secret. Dazai has a huge crush on you.
He’d always tensed up when you hugged him, feeling his heart rate far from his usual controlled pace and instead beating quicker than he could’ve imagined. Something so small and normal as a hug left him breathless when it came from you, and his greatest fear was that you felt the harsh thrumming of his heart and decided to stop. If you knew his secret, then this surely is you rejecting him.
The thought makes Dazai nervous. Being rejected is normal for him, never one to shy away from shooting his shot. Asking any person with a pulse to kill themselves with him left the brunet very accustomed to the response of “no.” Even being yelled at or hit by some unruly people was something he accepted with a smile, but the thought of you politely turning him down made his chest ache.
You stopped hugging him. Surely you didn’t feel the same.
Dazai understands he is an attractive person, both in looks and personality, and he’s more than used to leveraging these factors in his favor. Just a few weeks ago, he 100% was sure that you had a crush on him, a huge one at that, and he quite enjoyed toying with you every now and again when work days would drag on. But now, he couldn’t tell left from right. Daily hugs to quitting cold turkey made him so nervous, knowing you must be too uncomfortable to even touch him anymore let alone hug him.
That’s fine. He’s fine with that. People changing their minds about him, people leaving - Dazai is used to that. You deciding you don’t like him anymore (maybe just the attention he gave before rather than crushing on him specifically?) and moving on when you realized he likes you instead is fine. It’s fine.
Yet he still finds himself frowning in your direction when you aren’t looking. Nervousness is annoying, but he was hoping it’d lead him away from you. Still, however, Dazai finds himself following you with his eyes whenever you so much as re-situate yourself in a chair. He can’t help but silently beg for you to come over to him, even though he knows he’d nearly vomit if you did. How annoying.
Of course, sitting across from each other for lunch isn’t conducive for moving on and staying away from you, but you happened to stumble upon the brunet and his bespectacled coworker at the cafe and got an invitation from the latter. “I have to get back to work. Mind making sure Dazai doesn’t do anything too drastic again?” Kunikida had said to you, to which you kindly agreed - how could you have said no?
Dazai wishes you did, every brush of his knee against yours making him lose more and more of his appetite. With Kunikida gone, after a few beats of silence, you let out a sigh. “Sorry. I’ll leave you to it, okay? Good luck at work.” Just as you stand up to leave, Dazai - stupid, stupid Dazai - grabs your arm.
The action causes you to cock your head, confused as he grabs you. The face makes him quickly let go, grabbing his mug of tea instead so his hands don’t reach out again. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he starts, deciding to just get it out of his system. Maybe if you rejected him to his face, he could move on. “No more… hugs and stuff.”
Slowly, you slide back into the booth seat, a solemn look on your face. “Yeah.”
“Yeah,” he murmurs into the mug, not wanting to make eye contact. What does “yeah” even mean? Is this your way of saying you know? You know he knows?
“Um, well, I know you don’t really like affection. I know you aren’t used to it, I should say. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry for continuing for so long,” you finally apologize, the guilt that built up over time washing away finally.
“No, no,” he starts, turning to look at you rather than his mug. “Uncomfortable? You thought I didn’t like it?”
You deadpan, unamused. “Dazai, you used to tense up when I entered a room and I saw you flinch a few times when I got close.” Slowly, your expression turns, no longer unamused. “I’m not that stupid, man…” A small chuckle punctuates your last sentence.
Of course that’s what you took away from it. Dazai feels like an idiot, so worried that you might have realized his secret that he didn’t even pay attention to what was in front of him. You stopped for him, of course! Because you still like him. He’s sure of it, knowing you stopped something that clearly made you happy just for his comfort.
“Thank god,” he sighs in relief, causing you to raise an eyebrow.
“..? Did you actually think I was that stupid?”
“No, you idiot - I thought you were rejecting me. You still like me, that’s perfect.”
You fluster at Dazai’s words, eyes widening at the bluntness of it all. “Wh-what?! How is that what you got from what I said?”
He only grins in response, the bandaged man leaning forward over his teacup to reach you. Dazai was never one to explain what was in his mind, leaving you confused and flustered across from him. “It’s okay, pretty - I feel the same,” he whispers into your ear, only so he can watch as you shiver at the feeling of his breath against it. After pulling back, his smug grin only grows. “I thought you were avoiding me because you found out.”
Staring at him, you wonder why it is that you like him. At least now you can go back to hugging him all the time.
platonic hugging Dazai hcs 😽
like above, he's caught off guard at first
but then he decides to return the favor >:)
dazai will try and catch you off guard with a hug and it quickly turns into high stakes tag
the two of you immediately make eye contact when you're in the same room, and actively RUN from each other so the other can't hug first
high stakes tag. dazai jumped off a roof to catch you off guard one time. now he isn't allowed roof access at the ada 🙂↕️
he can still jump from the windows
it hits a point where everyone Around you is nervous. you two have vaulted over tables and everything it's scary
rooms will empty if the both of you are in one
dazai is definitely winning sorry! he feels it in his bones when you're about to arrive and hides behind doors to jump out at you 🙂↕️