I Just Wanna Hug Dazai All The Time Randomly (i Never Get Hugs At Home) And If He Were To Hug Me I Would

i just wanna hug dazai all the time randomly (i never get hugs at home) and if he were to hug me i would cry (a little)

i also feel likes his hugs would feel so so safe warm and comforting

(could i please be 🌹 anon?)

im collecting more anons like Pokémon omg YES you are in my Pokédex now hiiii 🌹anon sorry this took so long (like every rq oops!)

i included platonic hcs at the end as well bc why not

cw: dazai-standard suicide mention, i use the word vomit once ?

Hugging Dazai catches him off guard. Or it used to, you had found - randomly jumping on top of him throughout the day whenever you'd see him. It started sporadically and became more frequent, which led to Dazai becoming more prepared. He'd tense up as you entered a room, ready for you to pounce.

It started as a playful bit, knowing Dazai tended to short circuit when given affection. You'd seen it multiple times with Atsushi, the lovable boy having no clue why Dazai would panic a little when randomly given flowers that one time, or why he was so surprised when Atsushi spared a few kind words. It was little things, things Dazai clearly wasn't used to, and it always made you smile.

So of course, you wanted to do the same.

The first time he nearly pushed you off of him, choosing instead to hold his hands up like you were some cop trying to take him down. The second he'd merely frozen, breath baited as he waited for you to let go. By the third, he was able to brush it off with an awkward laugh, and the more it happened the more he was able to respond with a joke or the like. But you never missed the way his whole body seemed to pause for a moment.

Of course, once you noticed he was mentally and physically preparing before you even did it, you started to think you might've pushed too hard. Was he uncomfortable? Was he unsure of how to ask you to stop? It made you feel guilty, especially when he started flinching when you entered the room, knowing what was coming next.

You stopped.

It wasn't like it was hard, and the guilt eating at you was much worse. Dazai wasn't the only touch starved one, but you'd not-so happily give up the brief second of hug you got when seeing Dazai in favor of him feeling safe around you, as well as keeping your friendship alive.

It was hard at first, arms moving up slightly on instinct as you had to constantly remind yourself to stop. After maybe a week of no more hugging, you finally felt relieved - everything was back to normal. Dazai wouldn't freeze when you walked into a room, your hands wouldn't twitch as though trying to reach out for him.... Everything was normal.

Except Dazai, again.

Something was off, you could tell. While everyone gets confused sometimes, watching Dazai of all people furrow his brows and look away from you was almost scary. One of the greatest geniuses in Yokohama was confused by something - by you. Nothing had changed, had it? Maybe he was confused by why the hugs stopped, but you're sure he's smart enough to realize that on his own. You didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around you, that's all.

It didn't take long for the confusion to turn to veiled fear. He hid it well, you being none the wiser - but Dazai couldn't help the anxiety that grew around you. It wasn't like you were avoiding him, you still acted the exact same. You just kept your hands behind your back and made sure to maintain distance.

But that's what scared Dazai - the distance. The worry and fear he felt stemmed from the reason why; why had you stopped in the first place? All he could think of was that you finally figured out his secret. Dazai has a huge crush on you.

He’d always tensed up when you hugged him, feeling his heart rate far from his usual controlled pace and instead beating quicker than he could’ve imagined. Something so small and normal as a hug left him breathless when it came from you, and his greatest fear was that you felt the harsh thrumming of his heart and decided to stop. If you knew his secret, then this surely is you rejecting him.

The thought makes Dazai nervous. Being rejected is normal for him, never one to shy away from shooting his shot. Asking any person with a pulse to kill themselves with him left the brunet very accustomed to the response of ā€œno.ā€ Even being yelled at or hit by some unruly people was something he accepted with a smile, but the thought of you politely turning him down made his chest ache.

You stopped hugging him. Surely you didn’t feel the same.

Dazai understands he is an attractive person, both in looks and personality, and he’s more than used to leveraging these factors in his favor. Just a few weeks ago, he 100% was sure that you had a crush on him, a huge one at that, and he quite enjoyed toying with you every now and again when work days would drag on. But now, he couldn’t tell left from right. Daily hugs to quitting cold turkey made him so nervous, knowing you must be too uncomfortable to even touch him anymore let alone hug him.

That’s fine. He’s fine with that. People changing their minds about him, people leaving - Dazai is used to that. You deciding you don’t like him anymore (maybe just the attention he gave before rather than crushing on him specifically?) and moving on when you realized he likes you instead is fine. It’s fine.

Yet he still finds himself frowning in your direction when you aren’t looking. Nervousness is annoying, but he was hoping it’d lead him away from you. Still, however, Dazai finds himself following you with his eyes whenever you so much as re-situate yourself in a chair. He can’t help but silently beg for you to come over to him, even though he knows he’d nearly vomit if you did. How annoying.

Of course, sitting across from each other for lunch isn’t conducive for moving on and staying away from you, but you happened to stumble upon the brunet and his bespectacled coworker at the cafe and got an invitation from the latter. ā€œI have to get back to work. Mind making sure Dazai doesn’t do anything too drastic again?ā€ Kunikida had said to you, to which you kindly agreed - how could you have said no?

Dazai wishes you did, every brush of his knee against yours making him lose more and more of his appetite. With Kunikida gone, after a few beats of silence, you let out a sigh. ā€œSorry. I’ll leave you to it, okay? Good luck at work.ā€ Just as you stand up to leave, Dazai - stupid, stupid Dazai - grabs your arm.

The action causes you to cock your head, confused as he grabs you. The face makes him quickly let go, grabbing his mug of tea instead so his hands don’t reach out again. ā€œYou’ve been avoiding me,ā€ he starts, deciding to just get it out of his system. Maybe if you rejected him to his face, he could move on. ā€œNo more… hugs and stuff.ā€

Slowly, you slide back into the booth seat, a solemn look on your face. ā€œYeah.ā€

ā€œYeah,ā€ he murmurs into the mug, not wanting to make eye contact. What does ā€œyeahā€ even mean? Is this your way of saying you know? You know he knows?

ā€œUm, well, I know you don’t really like affection. I know you aren’t used to it, I should say. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry for continuing for so long,ā€ you finally apologize, the guilt that built up over time washing away finally.

ā€œNo, no,ā€ he starts, turning to look at you rather than his mug. ā€œUncomfortable? You thought I didn’t like it?ā€

You deadpan, unamused. ā€œDazai, you used to tense up when I entered a room and I saw you flinch a few times when I got close.ā€ Slowly, your expression turns, no longer unamused. ā€œI’m not that stupid, manā€¦ā€ A small chuckle punctuates your last sentence.

Of course that’s what you took away from it. Dazai feels like an idiot, so worried that you might have realized his secret that he didn’t even pay attention to what was in front of him. You stopped for him, of course! Because you still like him. He’s sure of it, knowing you stopped something that clearly made you happy just for his comfort.

ā€œThank god,ā€ he sighs in relief, causing you to raise an eyebrow.

ā€œ..? Did you actually think I was that stupid?ā€

ā€œNo, you idiot - I thought you were rejecting me. You still like me, that’s perfect.ā€

You fluster at Dazai’s words, eyes widening at the bluntness of it all. ā€œWh-what?! How is that what you got from what I said?ā€

He only grins in response, the bandaged man leaning forward over his teacup to reach you. Dazai was never one to explain what was in his mind, leaving you confused and flustered across from him. ā€œIt’s okay, pretty - I feel the same,ā€ he whispers into your ear, only so he can watch as you shiver at the feeling of his breath against it. After pulling back, his smug grin only grows. ā€œI thought you were avoiding me because you found out.ā€

Staring at him, you wonder why it is that you like him. At least now you can go back to hugging him all the time.

platonic hugging Dazai hcs 😽

like above, he's caught off guard at first

but then he decides to return the favor >:)

dazai will try and catch you off guard with a hug and it quickly turns into high stakes tag

the two of you immediately make eye contact when you're in the same room, and actively RUN from each other so the other can't hug first

high stakes tag. dazai jumped off a roof to catch you off guard one time. now he isn't allowed roof access at the ada šŸ™‚ā€ā†•ļø

he can still jump from the windows

it hits a point where everyone Around you is nervous. you two have vaulted over tables and everything it's scary

rooms will empty if the both of you are in one

dazai is definitely winning sorry! he feels it in his bones when you're about to arrive and hides behind doors to jump out at you šŸ™‚ā€ā†•ļø

More Posts from Stuffeddeer and Others

1 year ago

hii hru? i have a fic request umm i have this idea thats been sitting in my head for TOO LONG... i need to get it out how would bsd men (your choice) react to a reader who is too nice of a person, basically an ANGEL but seeks love from people who treats them like shit.,,.,. n theyre always like "nono theyre a great friend" (i need to stop doing this though it happens too many times)

ok bye!! have a lovely day!!!!!!

if someone treats me wrongly i will treat them wrongER. i do not start shit but i will End It. i included Dazai, Ranpo, Nikolai, Atsushi and Chuuya :) ive never written for Chuuya and Atsushi but i just kept typing so umm mb!! don’t read the last two unless ur crazy

Dazai would be so frustrated internally. He had been one of those people you give such patience to, and he knows everyone else is only preying that kind nature. He’d subtly try and point out that what they’re doing is bad, but he has always preferred a less direct approach. Threatening. Okay, yes yes, Dazai has turned over a new leaf, but as long as he doesn’t hurt or kill it’s fine, right? Are mild and ā€œemptyā€ threats really that bad? He’d chase away those people easily, helping you to meet others like his coworkers at the Agency or reminding you of the good friends you have and how you should spend more time with them. If you’re the type to tolerate rudeness from others but Not tolerate it when people are rude to your friends, Dazai would lie and claim that these assholes wronged him in some devastating way so you never forgive them.

Ranpo would (metaphorically) hit you upside the head. What do you think you’re doing, letting anyone treat you as less than you are? Not because he cares for you (so he claims), but because you’re associated with him! By allowing these, for lack of a better word, losers to treat you so awfully, you’re taking down his image with you! How would people react if they knew that the greatest detective allowed his friend (..?) to be treated so horribly? That he of all people couldn’t knock some sense into you? He’d huff, reminding you that you’d only need him and the Agency anyway, so why waste your time with such imbeciles šŸ™„

Nikolai is the one who treats you like shit. He hadn’t originally meant to — not any more than usual, that is — but watching you defend horrible actions from people that didn’t matter made him wonder if you’d do the same for those that do (being him, of course). He’d change at the drop of a hat, doting on you and cherishing you to kicking you out and ghosting you for weeks. But when he messaged you once again, you’d find yourself back on a bus approaching his apartment. Because of course you are, how could you leave Nikolai when he’s been so kind to you? He said he was busy, and what reason did you have not to believe him?

Atsushi would see himself in you but it’d just be a cycle. You’d see others treating him poorly and get angry, and he’d see people doing that with you, but you both would defend your ā€œfriendsā€ up and down until exhaustion kept you from continuing. Atsushi is used to being used, so it’s fine, and seemingly so are you, so you’re fine, and it just repeats forever. But, if Atsushi’s options are to hang out with you or those jerks, then you’ll just have to spend more time with him. And if your options are to hang out with him or those jerks, he’ll just have to spend more time with you. The cycle ends, but without any real confrontation, which is how the both of you would prefer it.

Chuuya: your loyal guard dog. If he can’t convince you not to see ā€œthose piece of shit, dumbass jerksā€ ever again he’d tag along. Everything except barking would be on the table - he’d growl when they talked over you or break a finger if he had to. This is the man you want by your side, because he’d fight for your honor when he needs to or take you back to his place for a soothing spa-adjacent bath with amazing scented candles and over the top bubbles, maybe a glass of expensive wine, to unwind and forget it all. Also he’d block their numbers from your phone and threaten them to never contact you again šŸ’€


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1 year ago

hiii stuffeddeerers :) i got smth queued up for tmr but this is an UPDATE POST!!!! im reaching my final two or three weeks of this semester and will likely be drowning in work! i have one other rq finished that i'll post later, but outside of that i might be mia for a bit :))) ill still read whatever gets sent to my inbox tho bc i cant stay away from yall for long ā¤ļø (flirting)


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1 year ago

A soft smile pulls at Dazai's lips as he watches you grab your phone. The bright light illuminating your face in the dark kitchen makes you look ethereal, yet he can't stop himself from making a joke. "You know I don't know how to do this."

"You know better than I," you say softly, an amused smirk pulling at your lips as you press play. Nocturne Op. 9, No. 2 begins to softly play from your shitty phone speakers as you place it on a counter, walking towards Dazai.

"I'd probably be better with the lights on," he tries joking again. You don't reply as you place your hands softly on the back of his neck, pulling yourself close as you begin to sway.

Back and forth, back and forth, you continue to step, and Dazai follows each move perfectly. It's no waltz by any means, but it is yours to share. A moment together, a moment of quiet vulnerability in the late hours of the night when everyone else is asleep is sometimes just what he needs - and you always know it.

The peaceful piano piece and the warmth of your body near his makes Dazai's eyes flutter closed, his head moving to rest on your shoulder as yours falls onto his. He hadn't realized just how tired he is, physically and emotionally. His throat begins to sting, and his eyes feel dryer than normal. He feels like crying. And yet, no tears slip past his eyes - they never do - as his hold on you tightens.

The music swells, hitting the part you'll always say is your favorite, and he feels you give him a gentle squeeze, a reassuring touch that causes him to loosen his hold. You aren't going anywhere, neither of you are.

A small this is my favorite part is whispered into his shoulder and Dazai wants to laugh. You're so predictable, and yet that predictability brings a sense of ease and comfort to him that he hasn't felt in a long time. He keeps quiet, his head moving further into your neck as he continues swaying with you.

I've never been one for classical music, I can barely see in the dark, you know I can't waltz, all excuses to stop himself from being vulnerable with you. But the second you pull him close, holding his face to your shoulder and rocking him like a baby on the wood-paneled floor of your shared apartment, he wonders why he fought it in the first place.

As the last note fades out, Dazai's face is fully buried into the crook of your neck, grasping onto your body loosely and tiredly. You aren't going anywhere, neither of you are. And the two of you continue to sway for minutes more, nothing outside of the occasional floorboard creek to interrupt as you embrace each other under the moonlight.


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1 year ago

hiii! how about ~any bsd characters of your choice~ when they make you cry for the first time during an argument? (maybe they say something mean, weaponize your insecurities, tell you to shut up (yeah, i'm sensitive to this heh), won't listen to you, etc)

yayyy any of my choice!!! that means my faves dazai and nikolai <3 love u anon

cw: intimacy ? "fuck" is used multiple times, u call urself an escort

A soft breath left your lips as you stared at your ceiling. Without even looking at the clock, you were sure it read some time past 12. You had quite a late night, even just the thought causing you to feel tired again. Closing your eyes tightly, you buried your face into your pillow, turning over in bed to do so.

The movement is followed by a deep chuckle from beside you, causing your eyes to snap open in surprise for a moment. There he is: the man who kept you up.

"Oh, you're still here." You spoke before thinking, the words coming out of your mouth as merely an observation.

"Ouch," he smirked, his hand reaching out to gently brush some hair from your face. "Good morning. Or should I say good afternoon, hm?"

"Um, sure. Thanks for last night, I suppose." Is that what he's waiting on? Acknowledgment? You pull the covers further up, making to sure cover as much of your torso as you can.

Your ex boyfriend only smirked, fingers trailing down your body just above the thick blankets. He propped his head up on one hand, elbow sinking slightly into your mattress. The way the afternoon sun danced between his brown curls made you think of last night, and how nice it felt to grip his soft hair once again. The thought makes you sigh, turning away from him to gaze at the ceiling once more.

"Hey, so, um, I gotta get ready. I have plans later..." you trail off, hoping he'll take the hint. Your ex has always been smart, especially socially - he'll understand.

And he does, for the most part, but he doesn't care. "Kicking me out already? The day just started. I thought you'd at least offer me a bowl of cereal before sending me away." His tone is teasing, the same smug smirk sitting prettily on his lips. "What are your plans, then? Anything I can tag along for?"

The incredulous look on your face gives away your confusion. "What..? No. Hey, thanks again for last night, but this is where we part. You got what you wanted, didn't you?"

He pouts at your words before sitting up. "Yeah, fine. I got what I wanted. Didn't realize this was just a fuck for you."

"Are you saying for you this was more?" You asked genuinely.

"No, I just thought it might have been more for you," he replies dismissively. Standing up, he begins pulling on his pants. "Have fun on your date, then."

You nod, unaware of his trap as you reply genuinely. "Thanks, I'll try."

He pauses, one leg in his pant leg and the other hovering just above it. "So you are prepping for a date."

Looking at him curiously, you nod. "Mhm, yeah. I was chatting with someone on Tinder. Figured I shouldn't go running to my ex whenever I need a good fuck."

He scoffs. "You think you can get a good fuck anywhere else?"

"That's what I'm tryna find out. Put on your pants, please."

"I guess it's my fault then, hm?" His eyes narrowed at you, giving nothing away as he remained frustrated and angry.

"...Fault for what?" You were confused, unaware as to what he was hinting at.

Your ex grits his teeth, feeling annoyed at your obliviousness. "For thinking we might actually get back together."

His words left you stunned for a moment, watching in silence he pulled his pants on the rest of the way. With a rather solemn expression, he shook his head in defeat and put his shirt on quickly. "There's my answer, then," he murmured, more to himself than you as he turned to leave.

Anger coursed through your body. How dare he play the hurt victim now? "Hey, fuck you!" You shouted without thinking. What a colossal asshole! "The night I broke up with you, you told me you never even liked me in the first place! And now what, you suddenly wanna 'rekindle what we had?' What did we have, Dazai? Please, enlighten me, because I find myself remembering that our whole relationship was just you talking down to me and treating me like some second-rate escort! I'm sorry for wanting more," you unloaded. Every thought that had been bouncing around in your head moved out of the way as you admitted what had been eating at you during the year of your relationship together. "It was our one year anniversary, you know, when I finally called it quits. Did you even remember?"

He didn't; of course not. You could just tell by his continued silence and the way he glanced away.

Tears brimmed your eyes. The only thing worse than his condescending remarks was the silence. You couldn't stand his quiet behavior, even when you were together - it screamed pity, and that's the last thing you wanted from someone who always knew what to say. "Get the fuck out of my house." You flopped back against your bed, burying your face into a soft pillow for the second time since waking up less than 10 minutes ago.

The sound of his feet pattering away is unheard by you, barely able to hear anything over the ringing in your head. As silently as you can, you sob into your pillow, feeling hurt and used by your stupid ex boyfriend.

Nikolai, in his crusade for emotional freedom, sometimes found himself treating you in a way that was less than ideal. He liked starting arguments with you, ā€œprovingā€ he didn’t love you as much as he clearly did and definitely wasn’t willing to do anything you asked. It was always over small things, like who made dinner (he’d get mad if you made it since he wanted to treat you or get mad that he’d have to make it since he always does) or how you hogged the blankets at night. Because of this, you usually overlooked it — you understand that it’s his way of proving his freedom and it never devolved into anything more.

Until today, that is. You could hardly remember what the argument was originally about, but he just kept pushing…

ā€œNikolai, I don’t even know what I did wrong.ā€ Tears were starting to gather in your eyes, making them puffy and glazed over. The more he raised his voice, the more you shrunk in on yourself.

ā€œThat’s the problem! How could you not know?!ā€ He took a step closer, towering over you with his large frame.

It was almost hard to breathe, panic coursing through your veins as you suddenly pushed him away with every ounce of strength you had. Silence coursed between the two of you, air tense and uncomfortable. Your tears finally spill once you notice how your hands are shaking. Fine, if he wanted to be free, then far be it from you to stop him.

Wiping your cheeks, you weakly reply, ā€œGet out of my apartment.ā€

The white haired man paused, waiting to see if you meant it. You didn’t, not really, but it’s embarrassing to admit that when you gaze at your fearfully shaking hands. This isn’t how a boyfriend should treat his partner.

ā€œPlease, Nikolaiā€¦ā€ You’d fold, you always did, so you resorted to begging while you still had the courage.

That courage wavers fully as his hands rested on your hips, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. ā€œIt’s my fault, baby,ā€ he whispers. ā€œLet me make it up to you. I’ll get you flowers, and we can order your favorite takeout and have a picnic in the living room while watching your favorite movieā€¦ā€ His thumbs brushed the fresh tears away before both hands grabbed yours. ā€œThe last thing I want is for my dove to be scared of me, I swear. I love you more than anything, you’re all I want,ā€ he presses soft kisses against your knuckles, ā€œplease, just let me stay...ā€

You fold.

thank you for this bc i have been ITCHING to write for nikolai my wife my girlfriend my lover (I HAVENT WRITTEN FOR HIM B4 SORRY)


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1 year ago

yk sometimes pm!dazai or ada!dazai takes off his trench coat and he only has his button up and waistcoat on? (its giving slay ngl) so maybe if he had a partner he’d occasionally lend his darling his coat because it’s cute and vv silly…

his coat pocket would have the weirdest things too: a crumpled page of the suicide book, a piece of bandaged that has yellowed due to oxidization, dog food etc

in my head im like how Dare he tarnish his beloved suicide book but that mf probably has 12 more copies at home lmao

I feel like instead of dog food he'd keep cat food for the street kitties that wander up to him :( he'd give them little pets and laugh so softly and sincerely as their heads bury into his coat pockets!!! He's all "You must've smelled the treats, hm? It's a good thing I keep them on hand for smart kitties like you," as he gently pushes them away so he can dig his hand in there to feed them rrgggg

PM!Dazai was shocked to see you shivering beside him. He was usually the one to get cold before you, and yet he found himself practically overheating in his black coat as he pulled it off his shoulders - at least that’s what he told you. Practically turning blue, you weren’t in any position to decline as he plopped it on your shoulders.

You immediately stuffed your hands in the pockets, trying to warm up your frozen fingers so they could move again. After a moment, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you turned slowly to look at the brunet.

ā€œDazaiā€¦ā€

ā€œYes, love?ā€ He sends you a large grin, a teasing lilt in his tone.

You deadpanned, clearly unamused. ā€œYour cold ass hand is not helping.ā€

His fingers intertwined with yours, his grin only growing as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. ā€œI’ll take my coat back if you’re gonna be ungrateful,ā€ he stuck his tongue out.

You smirked before pulling Dazai in close, wrapping the coat around him as well by wrapping your arms around him. ā€œI’d never be ungrateful to my lovely Dazai! C’mon, I’ll keep you warm, too.ā€

ā€œBut I’m not cold— ā€œ

ā€œI felt your freezing hand, Dazai; You aren’t fooling me.ā€

ADA!Dazai doesn’t need a reason to give you his coat. You look cute, and he wants to help you look cuter. Reason enough, right?

The two of you were lounging around working at the agency, with you focused on the report Kunikida had politely asked you to take care of. Dazai had been on the opposite side of the room at his own desk, coat draped behind him on his chair as he stared at you. His face was resting in the palms of his hand, leaning forward on his desk to get a better look at you.

Wow…

The way the setting sun came in from the window to light up your face had Dazai perfectly silent, mesmerized by you and your beauty. A loud sneeze came from you, whole face scrunching up as your elbow covered your nose briefly. Your sincere apology before immediately going back to your work had Dazai holding back coos, just wanting to hold you close and dote on you in the moment. He stood up, heading over to your side of the room and standing behind you. His coat was draped over his arm, the fabric rubbing against you he leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.

ā€œYou must be getting a cold, hm?ā€ He draped his beige trench coat over your shoulders, pulling your arms away from the report and stuffing them through the sleeves.

The action had you laughing, caught off guard as he pretty much dressed you in his coat. ā€œYou alright, Dazai?ā€

ā€œMhm, just wanted to keep you warm as your thoughtful boyfriend.ā€ He leaned his body onto you, arms draped around your shoulders and chin digging into your head.

ā€œWow, you’re so sweet,ā€ you replied sarcastically. Of course you knew he just wanted to see you wearing his oversized coat. ā€œWhat would I do without you?ā€

Your hands slipped into the big pockets, letting out a soft chuckle as you pulled out crumpled up papers. ā€œDo you keep these on hand?ā€ You ask teasingly, reading the many ways to die as you flattened out the pages. In the margins were notes he must’ve scribbled down, many of which are just your name with little hearts scratched around them.

Dazai quickly snatched the pages from you, shoving them in the pockets of his white pants instead. ā€œThat’s nothing you need to worry about, love.ā€


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1 year ago

i like reading your tags for funsies they are very cute okay dont think otherwise!!

omg okay thank you!!! im always like. these tags are longer than my posts 😭 but i have fun w em :)


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1 year ago

the swapping dazais idea was from kaeyxs blog I swear

sorry anon mayb im dumb but idk what u mean by this 😭 the beast & ada dazai rq?


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1 year ago

It's that lurking anon again, please forgive me for this long ass thing I'm probably about to ramble on about, in advance. TW for unaliving and SA.

I loveeee your new drabbles especially the rockstar one, he's so precious. I loved pm Dazai and ADA reader as well. To be honest though, if he asked me on a date I'd fold immediately šŸ™ƒ no need to beg, buy expensive wine etc. I know technically he's supposed to be the complete opposite company of reader but I'm all for opposing sides of something falling in love, like an angel and a demon. I feel like even though Dazai is technically a good person now or at least on the good side doing good things, if it came to the person he loved to get hurt or almost die(because I refuse to even entertain the thought of this man having his heart broken again) he'd sacrifice the world for them. "A hero will sacrifice you for the world but a villain will sacrifice the world for you," and I think Dazai when it comes to his love will do the latter.

I especially love Persephone and Hades love story....minus the kidnapping. But I mean Hades loves his wife even though he's supposed to be this horrific devil because he's a God but people demonize him all the time, I see Dazai this way. I love to say he has the luck of the devil but the mind of a God. I have the biggest soft spot for people who I feel a desperate need to take care of and he's definitely one of those characters. Dazai reminds me of myself in sometimes, I've never seen value in living and have tried to not be here any longer twice, but I'm here still and I'm learning to not just exist but actually live. We aren't exactly the same but I genuinely wish I could reach the parts of his heart that he hides behind the shadows of his past. I know this is a lot for just an anime character but I can't deny he's incredibly realistic and I feel deeply for everything.

I know a lot of people don't ship him and Oda(I don't either btw) but I feel like he definitely was in love with him. I've read the manga and as much about this show as I can(I hyperfixate) and whenever it comes to them, I just see the definition of first love and "love of my life." Everything I've read with Dazai on Oda (Oda being older than him and considered him a friend, definitely not brotherly nor fatherly, I don't think Oda knew)and all the things he's done with Oda on his mind and his name in every beat of his heart, I can't deny I see true love there. I know a lot of people ship him and Chuuya(don't attack me fans of this ship please) but I'm not sure I can see him loving someone as much as Oda, after all, look at how much he's changed and done because of Oda(I don't mean he can't love anyone else, he definitely can and I hope he will but it's that eternal love he'll never forget). I know a lot of people think he's incapable of being loyal/would cheat but I think quite the opposite(because this isn't Author Osamu Dazai, this is Dazai who was inspired by two book characters, they're not the same, they have some similarity but only a few things in common), seeing how much love Dazai is capable of makes me feel like, even though he's seen as a womanizer, he has SO much love to give and he'd be so incredibly loyal to whoever captures and secures his heart. That man won't ever betray the one he loves because he's still Dazai and that person will most definitely be his lifeline, the reason he's living, his heart beats for them.

Also reading the characters he's based on makes me sad because he's based on a character that's been through so much sexual assault(both men and women took advantage of him). I feel like it could explain why Dazai is such a womanizer as well. He's not a coward for being traumatized by people in his past and yes I know we don't know if the author will bring anything up about this part of his past that relates to the characters he's based on but I can't help but wonder, you know? And as someone who has been assaulted like he has as well, I understand why he's like that, he's not purposely playing with anyone's heart(I mean the women he's with), he's protecting himself from what he's felt in his past.

Anyway I'm ending this before it gets too long even though I probably went past too long a few paragraphs ago. So sorry if this was too much or weird.

Anyway stay safe lovešŸ„ŗšŸ’– I hope I didn't dump all this on you unexpectedly. I'm so sorry if you hate this or hate anything I said 😭😭

tw: mentions of sh

hope ur doing alright anon ā¤ļø i agree w a lot of this in terms of dazai's backstory and such ! i have to say tho i can still totally see dz cheating almost for the same reason you say you can't... like, he loves his s/o so much that he wants to drive them away so he doesn't hurt them/get them caught up w his shit, so that they don't die in his arms and he loses another person he loves, etc - what better way of getting them to leave than shattering their trust? (which is still not an excuse ofc)

i also have a hc that dazai is actually some form of asexual and doesn't actually enjoy the meaningless sex he typically has and uses it as a form of sh - like on a rough night he gets horrifically drunk and goes home with a random just because he doesn't view himself as human and wants to make himself uncomfortable. esp w how he was brought up in the pm, using his body to achieve his end goals (shown w kouyka when he says to atsushi that she'll seduce those bodyguards and then take them out, and she's 14; same w when dazai slept w that nurse to get his phone back during the cannibal arc i believe) like it's clear mori expects some pretty horrific things from his subordinates, so he's definitely used to viewing himself as less-than and viewing his body as a tool...

it's all food for thought, idk. hope you're in a better place and taking care of yourself, anon ā¤ļø


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2 years ago

i remember in middle school watching my friends say stuff like omg i went on a date we went to the movies <3 like bro if your mom dropped you off that was a playdate

being aro is so funny like i remember being in junior high and hearing my classmates bragging about being in relationships and just thinking that dating at our age was pointless bc none of us had any money to go places on a date


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1 year ago

I'm a new follower of yours that recently went through your entire blog, even though you didn't know this and I'm basically exposing myself, I love your entire blog so much that I actually payed attention to something for more than 5 minutes (simply going through your blog) and didn't get boredšŸ™ƒ. I love all your Dazai posts, even the ones I don't relate to, I find it sweet how you cater to everyone's feelings and headcanons, everyone's adoration for him in every way, its so sweet and beautiful how non judgemental you are, anyway just decided to send a quick ask like this before I go back to liking and lurking šŸ˜…

-šŸ„ŗā¤ļø

OMG šŸ«£šŸ«£ā¤ļø thank you so much !!! you're so sweet 😭 i'm glad i could help cure your boredom for a little bit :) i will try my best to write a lil smth for everyone 🫔


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