Give Me Moots 😩🫶

modern au: the marauders all live and study together at a muggle university, but they’re going through ‘two weeks’ of online classes.

marlene: *bursts into the living room, laptop in hand where james, sirius and dorcas are sitting*

marlene: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE THE MEETING?

sirius: THE TA TRIED TO PUT ME IN A BREAK OUT ROOM WITH STRANGERS AND IM NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT.

marlene: COME BACK TO CLASS, YOU PUSSY.

sirius: IF YOU’RE GONNA CALL ME A PUSSY, YOU BETTER PUT ‘EATER’ AFTER IT. MY WAY- MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!

remus: *unmuting himself and speaking*

remus: sirius, you’re gay and marlene, learn how to mute yourself.

remus lupin would 100% wear sandals with socks and think it’s peak fashion, sue me.

sirius black had a fear of needles (but not when it came to piercings and tattoos). so naturally, he always refused to take blood tests.

remus: blood tests are very important sirius, we need to know which vitamins you lack and what’s going on in the junk food dumpster you call a body.

sirius: here for a good time, not for a long time.😗✌️

james: if you all were to write a book, what would the title be?

james: ‘reasons i’m the greatest best friend in history.’

sirius: ‘the daily struggle of being sexy.’

remus: ‘the daily struggle of living with ‘sexy’.’

regulus: ‘why adult floaties are much more of a necessity than children’s ones.’

marlene: ‘how to keep ‘em wrapped around your finger, the marlene method.’

lily: ‘how to snag the richest guy in school, co-written by: remus lupin.’

mary: ‘a guide on how to outlive all your friends.’

dorcas: ‘bagging the hottest girl alive: a fool proof 6 month plan.’

peter: ‘why i demand monetary compensation for all the nights i’ve spent in detention because of ‘sexy’.’

hi my lovelies!!

i hope you’re enjoying the account as much i enjoy posting on it.

happy new year, and thank you all so so much for your support, it really means the world to me 🤍🤍

i just wanted to clarify that this is an anti-JKR, anti-dumbledore, and anti-snape account.

and that’s all! have a great day my lovelies <33

head canon:

george and fred stole the marauders map on a rainy day, when they finally figured out how to open and use it, a loud rumble of thunder broke out through the soft pitter patters of the raindrops hitting the window, it was as if the sky was congratulating them for it.

but the sky wasn’t, it was actually james potter, watching them from above and cheering them on with all the power he had.

james walks in on wolfstar.

james: bro, are you fucking serious?

sirius: i can confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.

remus: *peeks his head out from under the covers*

remus: and i can also confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.

lily rejected james for the 700th time, and he ran out of tissues to cry into.

james: *tears out a page from ‘the song of achilles’ and wipes his tears*

remus, only noticing the book cover and james’ crying: yeah…i get why you’re crying, that book is pretty fucking sad.

james: my love life is pretty fucking sad too, moony.

sirius: *places a newly rolled blunt on the street*

sirius: it’s a highway…get it? highway? cause blunt and road…y’know?

james: *throws his shoe at sirius*

lily: *hexes him bald*

remus: *takes off his wedding ring and places it in sirius’ hand*

regulus: *updates his insta bio to ‘only child’*

sirius: i feel like i absorb the positive energy from the people around me.

remus: so you’re kind of like a dementor?

sirius: no, i don’t suck the joy out of people.

remus: debatable.

sirius: WHATDOYOUMEAN?!