Sirius Black Had A Fear Of Needles (but Not When It Came To Piercings And Tattoos). So Naturally, He

sirius black’s favorite beverage is coke zero.

james: hey…what if mike was actually short for micycle?

lily: it’s 3 in the morning, and i swear to merlin if you don’t shut up, you will wake up without a tongue.

james: *mumbling* sirius would’ve found it funny…

lily: then by all means, go sleep with him instead.

the marauders (and their incorrect quotes writer) are very engrossed in the depp heard trial.

everyone here is team depp! (you might wanna check on snivvy though, he might be team heard. but hey! you didn’t hear it from us!)

We stan!!!!

chaotic good

plot: regulus is talking to sirius about his new boyfriend.

regulus: i’m trying to come up with a new nickname for him, but nothing’s sticking with me.

sirius: alright, what reminds you of him? like something pleasant.

regulus:

regulus: …rugs.

sirius: what?

regulus: i like…rugs.

regulus: rugs are fluffy, they sometimes come in cute shapes too. he’s pretty cute, and he’s got fluffy hair.

sirius: you’re nicknaming your boyfriend after a type of carpet?

regulus: rug…reg and rug…rug and reg…i like it.

sirius: *groans into a pillow*

modern au: the marauders all live and study together at a muggle university, but they’re going through ‘two weeks’ of online classes.

marlene: *bursts into the living room, laptop in hand where james, sirius and dorcas are sitting*

marlene: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LEAVE THE MEETING?

sirius: THE TA TRIED TO PUT ME IN A BREAK OUT ROOM WITH STRANGERS AND IM NOT HAVING ANY OF THAT.

marlene: COME BACK TO CLASS, YOU PUSSY.

sirius: IF YOU’RE GONNA CALL ME A PUSSY, YOU BETTER PUT ‘EATER’ AFTER IT. MY WAY- MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY!

remus: *unmuting himself and speaking*

remus: sirius, you’re gay and marlene, learn how to mute yourself.

the marauders are at a party.

sirius: *shit-faced drunk, dancing horribly on a table.*

remus: *sighing* love is blind.

james: *also shit-faced drunk, singing horribly on a makeshift stage.*

regulus: *facepalming* love is also deaf…tone-deaf.

plot: mother james is nagging sirius to get his transfiguration essay done.

james: it’s due TOMORROW MORNING, and it’s 9:15 pm, get a move on already!

sirius: well you said it yourself, it’s 9:15…which is basically 9:30 which means that it’s almost 10:00 and i really have to be in bed by 11:00. so…i haven’t the time to do anything, really.

plot: the slytherins are failing to get into the gryffindor common room to get sirius and james who just pulled another prank on them, while the two potter boys blast “insane in the brain” by cypress hill.

james: *dancing on a table* cops, come and try to snatch my crops.

sirius: *twerking by the portrait hole* these pigs wanna blow my house down.