HC:

james: what’s the shadiest thing you’ve ever seen someone do?

remus: turn a bunch of kids into werewolves, just to start an army.

lily: being prejudiced against half-bloods and muggle borns whilst being a half-blood themselves.

sirius: try to conceive for years, then become abusive to the very kids they were dying to have.

james: o-oh, i was just gonna say nick my sweaters right after they said that their fashion sense is nothing like mine…

regulus: i never said, nor did such a thing.

sirius: i feel like i absorb the positive energy from the people around me.

remus: so you’re kind of like a dementor?

sirius: no, i don’t suck the joy out of people.

remus: debatable.

sirius: WHATDOYOUMEAN?!

james: if you all were to write a book, what would the title be?

james: ‘reasons i’m the greatest best friend in history.’

sirius: ‘the daily struggle of being sexy.’

remus: ‘the daily struggle of living with ‘sexy’.’

regulus: ‘why adult floaties are much more of a necessity than children’s ones.’

marlene: ‘how to keep ‘em wrapped around your finger, the marlene method.’

lily: ‘how to snag the richest guy in school, co-written by: remus lupin.’

mary: ‘a guide on how to outlive all your friends.’

dorcas: ‘bagging the hottest girl alive: a fool proof 6 month plan.’

peter: ‘why i demand monetary compensation for all the nights i’ve spent in detention because of ‘sexy’.’

james walks in on wolfstar.

james: bro, are you fucking serious?

sirius: i can confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.

remus: *peeks his head out from under the covers*

remus: and i can also confirm that i am, indeed, fucking sirius.

the owner of this account, along with the marauders, would like to wish all their muslim supporters a very happy eid 🤍🤍

*at james and regulus’ wedding*

everyone: aw, look at sirius, he’s gone to the back, he’s probably crying.

sirius: *dancing his little heart out because he no longer has to deal with james’ snoring or regulus’ 3 am epiphanies.*

sirius black had a fear of needles (but not when it came to piercings and tattoos). so naturally, he always refused to take blood tests.

remus: blood tests are very important sirius, we need to know which vitamins you lack and what’s going on in the junk food dumpster you call a body.

sirius: here for a good time, not for a long time.😗✌️

*sirius and james having a discussion in the afterlife*

james: he named his kid albus severus, ALBUS FUCKING SEVERUS!!

sirius: you’re kidding.

james: i’m dead serious.

sirius: no…i’m dead sirius, you’re dead james.

hi my lovelies!!

i hope you’re enjoying the account as much i enjoy posting on it.

happy new year, and thank you all so so much for your support, it really means the world to me 🤍🤍

i just wanted to clarify that this is an anti-JKR, anti-dumbledore, and anti-snape account.

and that’s all! have a great day my lovelies <33

regulus: care to explain what happened pour moi?

james: uh- oui oui, so i had a little too much café on an empty túmmy, so i had a - how do you say - panique attaque.