WTF!!! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

Thorin my beloved…

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they’re walking and bickering and walking and bickering

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so many things happening in this scene and i don't even know where to start

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*: ･ﾟ✧   mark, bob & wade / pogostuck #1.

feel free to change pronouns etc as needed!

“ i see you, i see you, i see you!”

“ this is giving me like, ripoff __ vibes so hard.”

“ i can already tell i’m gonna hate this.”

“ well, you made progress. i’m not making progress.”

“ i wish i could get back down to you.”

“ i can’t get back over the banana.”

“ oh, that helps.”

“ yeah, but you can’t touch anything.”

“ oh, there’s a banana in the air.”

“ this is the worst. this is the worst thing ever.”

“ this is kinda fun, i like this.”

“ HOW do you like this?”

“ it’s better than monopoly.”

“ i’m not good at this, but i like this.”

“ you having some kinda trouble?”

“ wait, where are we supposed to go?”

“ oh my god, i’m gonna die.”

“ don’t even talk to me.”

“ i have a visceral reaction to __.”

“ i don’t miss this at all.”

“ it’s fun, just take a deep breath.”

“ just relax, it’s fuuuun!”

“ how the HELL is this FUN to you?!”

“ NEVER! i will NOT relax!”

“ calm down, it’s fine. it’s fine, everything’s fine.”

“ you’re only saying that because you KNOW it’ll make me madder.”

“ i didn’t see shit.”

“ you didn’t do ANYTHING.”

“ hey, how’s it going?”

“ i’m gonna just take a little breather.”

“ i just- don’t judge me, __.”

“ i don’t care what you’re accomplishing, i have what i need right here.”

“ you know, what? i take it back. i love __.”

“ are you fucking cheating?”

“ i’m starting to get a feel of it.”

“ what did i just get?”

“ the flies. why do the flies exist? that’s the worst part.”

“ i’m so glad you’re having fun up there.”

“ it’s so much better. it’s like infinitely better.”

“ no. no, please.”

“ how did you do that?!”

“ i can’t. i can’t with this. i literally. i can’t.”

“ it makes no sense!”

“ don’t you leave me here…!”

“ DON’T LEAVE ME HERE!”

“ i’m actually sad because i wanted you to succeed.”

“ i thought i was done. i fucked up.”

“ what the hell was that?!”

“ i just- i need a- i need a moment.”

“ you need a moment, huh? you need a moment?”

“ i’ve got nice sandwiches that are going nice and cold while i’m trying to- OHMYGOD!”

“ i’m so happy that it’s not me down there for once.”

“ why does it do that?”

“ i swear to fffh… i swear to FUCK. I SWEAR TO FUCK!”

“ where am i?!”

“ oh yes! …. NOOOOO!!!”

“ YEAH! I’M FINE! WHY?!”

“ idunno, you sound… different.”

“ why would i sound different? it’s the same old me.”

“ you know what, i feel your pain, you know?”

“ you don’t feel my pain.”

“ i don’t feel any pain, actually, i don’t feel anything.”

“ don’t laugh at me.”

“ if you don’t want me to laugh, you can’t say that with a mouth full of chick-fil-a.”

“ i found the hack. i’m a hacker. i’m the best.”

“ see, wasn’t that worth all the anguish?”

“ you finally did what everyone else did way a long time ago.”

“ be fucking careful with that.”

“ not like this!”

“ i might kill.”

“ calm down, everything’s fine, it’s working.”

“ you found your secret mantra?”

“ i saw the path.”

“ i just want to let you know.”

“ where are you and why don’t i care?”

“ this is uncharted territory for me.”

“ shut up, __, shut up. don’t use me for your mantra, you’re stealing my skill.”

“ my whole body hurts now, god damn it.”

“ i knew that was a dumb.”

“ i’m so proud of you.”

“ no, god, WHY would you do that?”

“ what are you talking about?”

“ what are people saying about me, huh?”

“ i swear, i don’t care what you think of me.”

“ you’re not gonna make it. you FOOL!”

“ i just realized i didn’t want your advice.”

“ i’m offended that you thought i needed your help.”

“ oh yeah? well look who’s in the same place as me. YOU. so how does that feel?”

“ i have seen the golden- the promised land.”

“ you have not. you have not, no one has.”

“ it’s definitely not impossible, okay?”

“ how are you keeping it together?”

“ if i be quiet, i feel the path. if i am loud, the path eludes me.”

“ oh man, what have i done?”

“ oh god, be careful!”

“ once i reach my apex skill, you’re going to see __ the likes of which you’ve never seen.”

“ i’m better than you!”

“ it’s all the same, you idiot!”

“ well, it’s good to see you dude!”

“ i fucking HATE EVERYTHING.”

“ i feel bad, but not THAT bad.”

“ here we go again!”

“ they never lose, they just take a break.”

“ yeah, i have principles.”

“ welcome to hell.”

“ i did it! oh, thank god.”

“ everything will be better from here on out.”

“ it’s not just a constant fight to not lose, it’s a constant fight for victory.”

“ hey, this place is terrifying.”

“ it’s so much worse here.”

“ the left is the wrong way to go.”

“ i hate. so strongly is my hate.”

u mean this sound?

”?!” makes a sound in my head, but I can’t describe what it is.

Ah yes, my favourite Bible fanfics, in no particular order

"Paradise Lost", John Milton

"Divine Comedy", Dante Alighieri

"Good Omens", Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

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You’re a thigh lover?

I think not loving thighs is a felony

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Ain't got anything new to post, made this a while back.

Mister Charles man over there, I might redraw it. Sorry about the funky birds.

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odyssey adaptation where a mini odysseus appears, pauses and explains how he'll get out of his latest misadventure

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Me, trying to explain House MD: You have this absolute British buffoon, who acts very seriously in an American accent, and then that kid from Dead Poet Society, who grew up closeted and depressed, and three to five babies who can range from very soft to cutthroat bitches. Also, the boss of the hospital is Queen of Milfs. Some tragedies ensue, but at the of it all, a bigger tragedy ensues. Lin Manuel Miranda is there too for a few episodes.