Untitled 9.12.23 (excerpt) - My Head Lolled Against The Cool Glass Of The SUV’s Window, Bridgers Blasting

god she’s not findable on anything. i just want to make sure she’s alive, and okay. she needs someone to protect her and i couldn’t and i need to fuxking find her im going to cry

her name is Laura. and i failed her and my bad brain forgot her name for so long. i’m so sorry Laura, i am.

feeling like diane from bojack horseman when she got medicated and lost her ability to write the gritty shit.

i cant even write about it, i tried, too many memories of being locked up in facilities. i know everything is all in that damn notebook but i don’t know if i dare look at it.

8.26.22

The Empty Kind. (excerpt)

“…I wish I didn’t burn every bridge I’ve ever stood on, now all I breathe is smoke.”

it just hurts to have such a strong word used against you. and not even any gesture apology has been given, how hard is it to send a three sentence paragraph? put a playlist together? apologize?

me when i’m off my meds lol

when you're a child and you stay up past your bedtime you get punished by your parents, when you're an adult and you stay up too late you just get punished by the ghosts and spirits and demons and such

i think i just need a different favorite person because this one is just not the fucking move

"Am I supposed to be grateful to have survived this?" -Brenna Twohy, from "I know Its A Little Late," Forgive me my salt.

i miss you my dear michael. more than words could ever say. i need you right now, i wish i could just reach out and know you’d be there. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry for whatever i did and i wish i could make it better. i would if you’d just tell me. you’d say to jump at this point and id just ask how high.

i still love you, i still care. i hope you’re out there in the world killing it like you somehow always do. you are the smartest person i know, with both logic and compassion. you always will be.

i look for you in everyone. i hope that sometimes you look up and see the stars and still think of me. i hope you realize that for now we’re still under the same sky- so there’s time. there will always be time for us to fix things. i want to, i wish you did too.

i love you, i miss you.

-your little sister lucifer <3

The whole, "K*lling urself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" bullshit is spouted by the ignorant lucky ones who have only had temporary problems. Some people's problems are permanent so maybe try offering actual help and support to them rather than regurgitating an overused phrase that means nothing to people with real struggles.