Latest Posts by public-charmer - Page 6

I see no difference

the 2 Ds in ADHD stand for Deranged and Delicious

it's so stupid, adhd is a dozen vaguely related neuroses in a trench coat, including such popular hits as

Can't Fucking Sleep Disorder

Can't Fucking Wake Up Disorder

What Is A Focus

Oops I Did It* Again (*Spent Thirteen Hours On Youtube And Forgot To Eat Or Drink)

The World Is Too Noise Today

All My Friends Hate Me (I Deduced This From A Three Word Text)

I Forgot About [thing] Literally As Soon As I Turned Around

...and they decided to call it Trouble Sitting Still Disorder?????

ADHD starter kit

Hi I have ADHD and have just recently got into a relationship with someone who has been very understanding about it. She asked me about the things she would "need to know or I'd like her to know" about it. For example, I'm not forgetting where I put my keys everytime they leave my hand on purpose. It's just the ADHD. Do you think you could make me like a ADHD relationship everything you need to be aware of list? Sort of like a starter pack. I'm no good at this kind of thing.

Sure! Full disclosure: I’ve never been in a relationship. Also, this is not a complete list! 

Time blindness 

This is a real symptom of ADHD that affects our ability to accurately sense the passage of time (“It’s only been 10 minutes—how can it be 3 am?!”) Time blindness can also cause issues estimating how long something will take (“It should only take me 5 minutes to get ready!”) and judging the urgency of things that our brains perceive as far away (“I know I should study for the test, but it’s not until next week—I have plenty of time!”).

Emotional dysregulation 

Our frontal lobes do not reign in strong emotions like they should, so we tend to have strong, impulsive reactions, especially when we are upset. RSD, or rejection sensitive dysphoria, is part of this: if we perceive even mild criticism or rejection—or even fail to meet our own expectations—it can feel like the end of the world.

Under-stimulation 

Because we don’t produce enough neurotransmitters, our brains are chronically starved for stimulation. Under-stimulation is boredom, but an extreme level—and for people with ADHD, it can actually cause secondary depression.

Short term memory 

This is why people with ADHD forget what they were about to say, forget what YOU just said, or forget to pick up groceries, pay bills, or turn in their homework. This is not carelessness. It is a working memory deficit caused by neurological differences.

Attention dysregulation (not deficit)

This is one of the main problems in ADHD. We struggle to control the subject and intensity of our focus. This means that we can exhaust ourselves trying to focus for one hour in class—but may spend all day hyperfocusing on our newest project, even forgetting to eat or drink. Others may think that this means the ADHDer can focus “when they want to,” but hyperfocus is usually not voluntary and can be as hard to control as inattention.

Executive dysfunction

Executive functions are cognitive skills housed in the frontal lobe (the brain region most affected by ADHD). These include things like emotional regulation and working memory; also organization, planning and prioritizing, and task initiation.Trouble with task initiation is often perceived as laziness or procrastination. In reality, executive dysfunction can cause an ADHDer to get “stuck” before starting, even if they really want to do the task. Difficulty with task initiation is why I get “stuck” in my car after parking—and sometimes cannot seem to leave it on my own, even when the interior of the car is over 140 degrees. 

I firmly believe everyone with ADHD should do their best to own it and learn to manage it. Most ADHDers learn various coping strategies to help them deal. But it’s also important that the people in our lives have realistic expectations and know that even when we try our best, we will still have symptoms. It is not a sign that we don’t care about them or aren’t trying.

Me: powerful punk, demanding presence, ready to dismantle the hierarchy and smash fascists

Also me: soft, full of emotions, just a babey, ready to curl up in a blanket and watch Moomin or Steven Universe for a few hours

Also also me: Forest cryptid, bog creature, nasty alien, ready to disappear into the woods and become integrated into local folklore

I absolutely need this 

In case you were not aware, Izuku does, in fact, have a quirk.

A skin-contact quirk plus One for All should produce interesting results, no?

since people are asking, here’s a list of places you can donate to help the australian bushfires. donating literally $1 means you have done more than our prime minister. (* = can donate internationally; for the other ones you might have to google it) 

cfa (VIC firefighters) 

rfs (NSW firefighters)*

rfbaq (QLD firefighters) 

cfs (SA firefighters) 

red cross*

WWF NSW bushfire crisis*

WWF koala crisis* (both WWF links are in aud so use a currency converter if you’re outside aus)

RSPCA NSW 

here is a list from the abc (but maybe don’t donate to the salvos or vinnies bc they suck) (x)

WIRES (x)

port macquarrie koala hospital* (if that link doesn’t work there’s a gofundme* / you can buy something here)

gippsland emergency relief fund 

bendigo bank bushfire disaster appeal (partnered with the salvos though)

mallacoota fires support fund gofundme*

cudgewa gofundme*

you can find emergency accommodation or can offer your house on the NSW / VIC airbnb website

i’ll keep it updated as i find more

Reblog if you're queer, have ADHD, or hate the government.

Nobody needs to know which one.

girls!!! we gotta fail more often!!! we’re so scared of failure and disappointing people and looking stupid that we don’t even TRY things! men?? men brush off failure like it’s nothing! if a man doesn’t get a job he wanted, it’s because they didn’t review his application fairly! it’s because the competition was tough this year! it’s because he just needs to try harder next time! men just DO things!!! and you know what DOING things builds?? confidence!!! even if you fail!! the more you fail, the more confident you are that you can fail and survive! women don’t even wanna try unless they are 100% certain that they’re qualified and competent and won’t disappoint anybody! but that is NONSENSE. men are out there getting positions they’re not even qualified for, while over-qualified but less-confident women are staying where it’s safe bc they’re afraid to rock the boat!!! DO. IT. apply for the thing! ask for the raise! enter the competition! get used to failing ALL the time! fail quickly and move on!!! if a cocky but mediocre man would do it, then for the love of god, GO DO THE DAMN THING. you are SO much more qualified than you think you are.

but really just let furries be furries. they having fun

sorry to be cringey but can we stop this idea that every furry is a sex hungry freak that likes bestiality and has really disturbing kinks. being a furry is just thinking anthropomorphic animals are interesting and cute. theres nothing inherently sexual about being a furry. just because someone says “im a furry” they arent necessarily confessing to you how they get horny for foxes with tits or diapers on dogs or something. so when u see someone make a fursona or draw an anthro animal, dont immediately think “they wanna fuck animals”. sometimes its just that….anthro animals….are fun to draw. 

basically,

QUIRK TIME

Random question but what do yall think my quirk would be? I'm uncreative and I wanna see what others would find fitting 😎👊

I've been sneezing like a crackhead on Christmas for the past 2 hours send H E L P

STOP SCROLLING!

Oka, I plan on following everyone on tumblr

literally everyone

Please reblog so I can make this happen

So my therapist has been helping me get to grips with my ADHD, and also the concept that I’m not shit at being an adult, I just can’t do things the way everyone has always told me to do them. Like every single “organize your life” books have always left me wanting to cry with frustration, and after I got hold of a copy of Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD by Susan Pinsky I realized that was because they primarily focus on “aesthetic” over “function”. And the function of most standard “organize your life books” is to “make things look Show Home Perfect”.

So the standard “hide all your unsightly things by doing xyz” may look nice for the first week or so, but by the end of the week it’ll look like a tornado made of pure inhuman frustration ripped through the house as I try to find the fucking advil.

To give you an example of the kind of hell I’ve been fumbling my way through the last 20 odd years: dishes will be washed and left in the drying wrack but never put away. Which means I can’t wash more dishes, which means dishes pile up, which means I can’t make food, which means I don’t eat, which means my CFS gets worse, which means I don’t have the energy to put the dishes away, and so on so forth until I have a meltdown, cry to ETD (who also likely has ADHD but has never had it confirmed) about how I can’t cope with life, and then we fix it for a while, but inevitably end up back at square one within about a week.

Pinsky’s solution to this was “remove an obstacle between you and your goal, if that means taking all the doors off your kitchen cabinets to make things easier, so be it.”

And lemme tell you, fucking revolutionary.

Laundry never ends up in the hamper??? why???? is it a closed hamper??? Remove the lid. Throw it out the window. Clothes are now miraculously finding their way into the hamper??? Rejoice????

Mail ends up spread out over every available flat surface? Put a sorting station right where your mail arrives. Put a shredder or “junk” basket under it. Shred or dump the junk immediately. Realize you only actually have two real letters that need attention, feel less overwhelmed, pay your bills on time.

Like I’m not saying this book is miraculous, but it did help me realize that I was effectively torturing myself by trying to conform to certain ideals of “perfect house keeping”, and presenting a certain image rather than just allowing myself to live in my space as effectively as possible. And why? Why was I doing that? Cause people with different lives and capabilities are perceived as the norm? Fuck that. If this was a physical problem I wouldn’t be forcing myself to conform to an ableist standard, so why am I doing it with this?

My lived space will never look a certain way, and that’s okay. It will never look show home perfect, and that’s okay. It will likely always be cluttered and eclectic where nothing matches, and that’s okay. Sometimes I will have odd socks on because sorting them out required too much mental energy, and that’s okay. Actually fuck sorting socks, just buy all your socks in the same color. Problem solved. Boring sure, but also one less thing to do, which means more time to hyper fixate on fun things. Which really, what else is my life for if not to write screeds and screeds of vampire shit posts, I ask you.

This is helpful❤

‘am i Having A Brain Problem or Being a Shithead’: a short procrastination checklist

aka why tf am i procrastinating on The Thing (more like a flowchart, actually)

lots of people who have executive function difficulties worry about whether they’re procrastinating on a task out of laziness/simply wanting to be a jerk or mental struggles. this checklist might help you figure out which it is at any given time! (hint: it’s almost never laziness or being a jerk.) (obligatory disclaimer: this is just what works for me! something different might work better for you.)

1) do I honestly intend to start the task despite my lack of success?

yes: it’s a Brain Problem. next question

no: it’s shitty to say one thing & do another. better be honest with myself & anyone expecting me to do the task.

2) am I fed, watered, well-rested, medicated properly, etc?

yes: next question

no: guess what? this is the real next task

3) does the idea of starting the task make me feel scared or anxious?

yes: Anxiety Brain. identify what’s scaring me first.

no: next question

4) do I know how to start the task?

yes: next question

no: ADHD Brain. time to make an order of operations list.

5) do I have everything I need to start the task?

yes: next question

no: ADHD Brain lying to me about the steps again, dangit. first task is ‘gather the materials’.

6) why am i having a hard time switching from my current task to this new task?

i’m having fun doing what i’m doing: it’s okay to have fun doing a thing! if task is time-sensitive, go to next question.

i have to finish doing what i’m doing: might be ADHD brain. can I actually finish the current task or will I get trapped in a cycle? does this task really need to be finished?

the next task will be boring/boring-er than the current task: ADHD brain. re-think the next task. what would make it exciting? what am I looking forward to?

I might not have enough time to complete the task: ADHD brain wants to finish everything it starts. (if task is time-sensitive, go to next question)

i just want to make the person who asked me to do it angry: sounds like anxiety brain trying to punish itself, because I know I’ll be miserable if someone is angry at me. why do i think I deserve punishment?

no, I seriously want to piss them off: okay, i’m being a shithead

7) have I already procrastinated so badly that I now cannot finish the task in time?

yes: ADHD brain is probably caught in a guilt-perfection cycle. since I can’t have the task done on time, i don’t even want to start.

reality check: having part of a thing done is almost always better than none of a thing done. if I can get an extension, having part of it done will help me keep from stalling out until the extension deadline. i’ll feel better if I at least try to finish it.

no, there’s still a chance to finish on time: ADHD brain thinks that I have all the time in the world, but the truth is I don’t. 

reality check: if i’m having fun doing what I’m doing, I can keep doing it, but I should probably set a timer & ask someone to check on me to make sure I start doing the task later today.

8) I’ve completed the checklist and still don’t know what’s wrong!

probably wasn’t honest enough with myself. take one more look.

if I’m still mystified, ask a friend to help me talk it out.

hope this helps some of you! YOU’RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE DON’T GIVE UP ON YOU

i’m annoying (self diagnosed)

We are!

Reblog if you think aces and aros are part of the lgbt+

Trying to prove a point

I just reached 7k followers!  As a way to say thank you I decided to hold an art raffle!

Rules:

·Must be following me (Both new and old followers can join).

·Like or reblog this post to enter the raffle. You can reblog it as many times as you’d like.

· keep your ask box or chat open. I will message the winners. If I don’t get a reply within 3 days I will choose another winner.

I will randomly pick three winners. 

Each winner will get a full body colored drawing of their choice (1 character per winner).

I Will draw:

•       Original characters

•       Fandom stuff

I Won’t draw:

•       NSFW

•       Animals

•       Furries

•       Mecha

•       Extreme gore or violence

•       Anything relating to religion, politics or other controversial topics/themes.

Deadline: 3 August 2019

Good luck! ^^

i dunno if this is adhd or just a personality quirk

but im 500 times more likely to see something through if someone BESIDES myself benefits from it  then if just i do

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

Oh...

Feeling empty or your feeling you mood darken? You might be very unstimulated.

I know its hard to find something that truly interests you; I’ve only found it recently (its this: my blogs and such), but keep trying different things. I know its hard but you won’t find it unless you keep looking.

- DEPRESSION: Is It ADHD, Depression, or Both?, ADDitude

people who don’t have adhd: we all are a little adhd!!

me: well do you have the debilitating symptoms of RSD that make you feel like a failure 24/7 and that everyone you love hates you?? Do you have sensory issues that make it difficult to function without getting irritated at the smallest things?? or extreme impulsiveness that can destroy relationships and even endanger you at times???? or do you develop maladaptive coping skills that can further destroy your mental state?????? 

them: no?

me: THEN YOU DON’T HAVE FUCKING ADHD!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF 

Why are this things not mentioned until WE find them. Why. What.

when you find yet another documented-but-rarely-discussed facet of your disorder and realize there’s a reason that you’re such a bitch

Yea

me: *says anything online*

the internet: *does not respond within 30 seconds*

me: oh no I messed up and offended everyone in the entire world

Mmmmmm so true

adhd theatre productions presents: ‘Logic’

STARRING: Good Instincts!

and their nemesis: Asshole ADHD Galaxy Brain

-Let the play begin-

[OPENING SCENE]

Parent: You knew I didn’t want you to do that! Why did you do it anyway?

Me, put on the spot: uh - well, um …

Parent: what were you *thinking*?

Me, trying to sort out the thoughts of Past!Me: hmm …

—FLASHBACK—

Past Me, presented with solutions a, b, and c to handle a minor dilemma, and under a time crunch because of procrastination: i dont’ like any of these options.

My Good Instincts, zooming up & dodging past my executive dysfunction: Option B is the best one.

Me, easily persuaded: thanks, Good Instincts! I agree.

ADHD Galaxy Brain, arriving dramatically, 15 minutes late with Starbucks: but is it really the best option?

Me, instantly distracted: is it?

ADHD Galaxy Brain, an asshole: What about option D?

Good Instincts: *quickly* option d wasn’t up for consideration in the f–

ADHD Galaxy Brain: *bats Good Instincts into the sun*

ADHD Galaxy Brain: *to Me* well?

Me: I hadn’t considered option D! but I can’t remember why I didn’t consider it.

ADHD Galaxy Brain: Neither can I!

ADHD Galaxy Brain: but here, have 32 reasons why option D is definitely the best one. It took 2.8 seconds for me to come up with them, so you better appreciate it.

Me, mistaking this for critical reasoning: wow, those are all really good reasons! This is why people say you should carefully consider your options before acting.

Good Instincts: *yelling from the sun’s surface, but too far away to be understood*

Me, a fool: welp, you’ve convinced me. Option D is definitely the best one. But I feel like my instincts are trying to tell me something?

ADHD Galaxy Brain: could be. but do we really have time to check? besides, if we undo all this critical reasoning, we’ll have to start all over again, and I hate doing things twice.

Me, a person who struggles to do things even once: yeah, that sounds boring.

Me, satisfied: Option D it is! sorry, Instincts, but the feeling of foreboding your indistinct yelling gives me requires too much time&effort to understand!

—

Good Instincts, watching from the surface of the Sun as I execute option D: i SAID, your PARENTS will be ANGRY if you go with Option D!!

Good Instincts: THAT’S WHY IT WASN’T ON THE TABLE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!

Good Instincts: AAAAAAAAAA WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

–END FLASHBACK–

Present Me, struggling to put words to this: …

Parent, out of patience: well????

Me: I—

Me:

Me: …

Me: i don’t know.

—FADE TO BLACK—

NARRATOR VOICEOVER, grave: the truth is, they *did* know. They remembered it all with remarkable clarity, considering how quickly their decision was made.

NARRATOR VOICEOVER: but they also knew from previous experience … that they would never have the words to explain it.

-The End-

ADHD Terminology

I use a lot of terms on this blog that are used widely throughout the ADHD and mental health community, but I’ve realized that a lot of people don’t quite know what these words mean. So I’m gonna go ahead and define a few! Let me know if you need any other terms defined and I’ll add them.

Hyperfocus- hyperfocus is a state of absolute and complete focus that ADHD people face. During a hyperfocus session, we will often cut off completely from the rest of the world and think only about the task we are focused on while we completely disregard any family trying to get our attention, or the need to eat, or the need to go to the restroom, etc. 

Hyperfixation- a hyperfixation is an intense interest that someone with ADHD finds complete and utter comfort in, and usually just talking about it can trigger a state of hyperfocus. We will often steer the conversation towards these topics without even realizing it because they are in our minds so often, and we will usually feel a need to know anything and everything we can about our hyperfixation(s). These are similar to special interests in the autism spectrum community. NOTE: only people with ADHD can have hyperfixations! If you do not have ADHD, then you do not have the capacity to have any hyperfixations, even if you really really like something. This label is specific to ADHD at this point in time, just as the term special interest is specific to the autism spectrum community.

Neurodivergent- used to describe a person with a mental disorder/disability. Often shortened to ND

Neurotypical- used to describe a person without a mental disorder/disability. (and is often used to describe a person without a specific disorder when speaking within a certain community, though this is not widespread and most people do not agree with this use). Often shortened to NT

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)- an intense and all encompassing feeling of emotional pain/sensitivity felt by ADHD people in response to rejection or perceived rejection. I hope to have a full post about RSD soon! I’ll link to it here once it’s completed.

ADHDers- people with ADHD

Actually ADHD- a blog on tumblr!! They do wonderful work and I highly recommend checking them out. It’s run by a group of people that have ADHD and want to help others learn about it and understand. You can visit their blog here and their website here. This term has also been taken up by the ADHD community as a tag to indicate that someone actually does have ADHD, particularly when talking about ADHD. This is the same for other mental health issues as well, such as Actually Tourette’s and Actually Autistic. If someone tags their posts like this, then they’re telling you that they have that disorder.

Self diagnosis/dx- self diagnosis, often abbreviated to self dx, is the act of diagnosing oneself with an illness or disorder, either of the mental or physical variety, without consulting a medical professional. This is often incredibly frowned upon, as in most cases this diagnosis is made is a rash manner within a situation where medical advice is very readily available, but it also often takes places in a circumstance where a doctor is not available. This might be a result of a lack of insurance, a lack of support from parents, or countless other circumstances that make a true diagnosis difficult, or impossible, to obtain.

Nothing soothes my RSD soul like having my presence acknowledged and feeling genuinely needed/appreciated

I am an adult with ADHD. I was a child with ADHD.

What an awful acronym.

“I’m so ADHD today!”

No you’re fucking not. You don’t know what that means. It’s not:

“Oh look a squirrel”

I mean yeah, by all means look at that animal. It’s awesome… I wonder how many nuts it can hold in its cheeks… wait. Where was I?

Inattention

Attention Decficit Hyperactive Disorder. That doesn’t accurately describe my life. My life is wondering what it’s like to have quiet. My brain is never quiet. ADHD is starting this poem SEVEN times because I couldn’t decide if I wanted it to be about my disorder or about a love gone wrong… or maybe both.

Because you know what?

In the midst of thoughts of drag, work, trying to remember if I ate today and wondering how someone figured out that we could cook potatoes one hundred different ways but only like two ways to cook an eggplant; fifty percent of my rotating, ever-changing, ebbing and flowing thoughts are CONSUMED by you.

How you expect me to apologize for your assault on my brain. How I have to defend my reputation and honor from the lies you spit behind my back to fuel your twisted illusion that I’m the bad guy.

I’m not the bad guy.

And I’m not fucking immature!

I am far from immature. Being playful is far from immature. It’s creative. It’s fun. I’m not boring.

Fuck you.

Did I finish my drink? I can’t remember if I finished my drink? Do you still think you’re feeling “ADHD today”? Have you counted how many times I’ve changed the subject?

Do you still feel “ADHD today”?

Let me tell you about RSD then. Do you know what that is?

Rejection Sensitive Dsyphoria

Yeah, that’s as fun as it sounds. RSD is defined as an extreme emotional sensitivity and emotional pain triggered by the PERCEPTION, not necessarily the reality, that a person has been rejected, teased or critized by important people in their life.

YEAH. Good fucking time.

I think I’ve fucked up a lot probably because you sneezed weirdly in my direction. FUCK.

How do I fix this? Do you still like me? The tone in your voice when you said “Hi” today was different.

DAMNIT.

Where did I put my keys?

What was I talking about again?

Thank this person so much for making this post. You have my love❤❤❤

I feel like people with RSD deserve to feel a little bit brave for simply deciding again and again to try to form relationships and friendships and choosing to participate in their communities. Like, if every day you run the risk of feeling like you just got punched in the chest because somebody looked at you askance and you still decide to get out of bed and interact with people you’re doing well and being brave in a way few people will ever understand.