Who’s Gonna Tell Tumblr That Executive Dysfunction Is More Than Not Doing Things?

We are T E A M C R A F T E D

My life has been so much better ever since I traded my impostor syndrome to brilliant conman -syndrome. Do I deserve anything in life? Fuck no! Will I grasp it anyway? Fuck yes!

 My art has never been worth shit, but watch me bullshit my way into art school! I am a horrid goblin, but watch me make these people like me! Am I qualified to do this task? Well I sure have the certificates that say that I am! And how did I get those? Who knows! Not me! I am so good at cheating, I don’t have to break a single rule to do it!

 I am brilliant, fast, and absolutely drunk with power!

while we’re on the topic of personal non-house posts, thought i’d make a quick PSA to say that if you are a girl in seattle that goes out to bars, WATCH YOUR DRINKS. put your hand over the top of it if you need to. watch the bartender make it. do not set it down. have a man order your drink for you if you feel like the bartender is sketchy. two more women i know were drugged this weekend, making that a total of 12+ in the last 4 weeks. i was drugged a month ago. since the Foundation bust (bartenders would roofie the girl of your choice if you paid him extra, they’ve all been arrested now) it seems to have seeped out into every other goddamn bar. The Neptune is the one it’s happened at most recently (5 girls in one night), a girl and i were drugged at The Nest on 10/1, and I’ve heard of it happening at Chop Suey and Cha Cha recently, but it really can and does happen at all places. be diligent. it was the scariest experience of my life. 

taken from my friend Amethyst on fb: 

symptoms of being drugged:

-Seems/feels more intoxicated than they should be considering how much they actually drank

-Difficulty speaking / incoherent -Loss of coordination / muscle control / difficulty standing -Feeling paralyzed / unable to move -Drowsiness -Hallucinations -Nausea -Confusion -Dizziness, feels “dreamy”, loses track of time -Blackout / Amnesia -Sudden increase in empathy and friendliness -Reduction in inhibitions -Increased sexual desire -Sudden spike in happiness -Agitation -Slowed breathing -Strange, erratic body movements or facial expressions

what you should do:  If you encounter a situation where you think you or someone else has been drugged, go to the hospital if possible in case it’s serious. At the very least, stay with the person / have friends stay with you to ensure safety and monitor breathing. If you are trying to help a stranger and are unable to stay with them, try to get them to help you contact someone they trust or see if their phone has ICE (in case of emergency) contacts. Sometimes staff at bars may also be willing to help. Be wary of men/people in general who are attempting to take the person home in case they are the person who drugged them. If they seem really not ok and you are unable to stay with them or get anyone to help them, call 911. There is a risk of overdose and it’s hard to know how much a person has been given.

YALYALLLL YALLLL YAL

MY MOM SAID IF I COULD GET 100,000 NOTES I CAN GET A DAGGER

PLEASE HELP ME

IM NOT ALLOWED TO REBLOG OR SPAM MY OWN POST SO HELP ME OUT GUSY

PLEASE I WANT A DAGGER

PSA: bot comments are taking over ao3

The above examples have been provided with the authors' permission to demonstrate what these look like.

Basic rundown:

They are all 3 sentences long

Perfect grammar, capitalization, and punctuation

Like absolutely flawless English teacher-style writing with only a single exclamation mark, ever

No mentions whatsoever of character names, settings, situations, or anything that could be tied to the story

The usernames may be identical to people who exist on ao3, but the name is not clickable, and no profile is associated with it EXCEPT when you directly search for that name. What this means: the comments come from an unregistered (not logged in) reader, bots scrape the site for real usernames, attach that to the comment, and post

Please spread the word about this so authors can filter comments and report them accordingly

There has been some speculation about why this is happening at all, and the best guess is that this is a feature that AI-training story-scraping tools are implementing to try and make their browsing traffic look legitimate

so i read master and the apprentice and oh my god

Maomao and the Moon

I LOVE APOTHECARY DIARIES I WOULD DIE FOR MAOMAO I WOJLD DO ANYTHING FOR HER

always pondering the brothers these days... aaalways

Look what I found!

having a friend call you and tell you her flight is in an hour and her dogsitter just cancelled on her and would it maybe be ok if you went to her house and watched her dog? she’d pay you ofc

and you go to the address she gave you and then you realize once you’re inside that she left out a critical detail

she doesn’t have a dog. she has a very nervous werewolf who doesn’t like being left alone