What Do You Mean By “normal”? I, Personally Think Of It As An Aggregate Of Various Definitions.
What do you mean by “normal”? I, personally think of it as an aggregate of various definitions.
Normal is what we’re used to. Normal is the societally accepted way of behaving. Normal is uniformity, in the bad way. Normal is heteronormative, ableist, cissexist and sanist. Normal is a wand of control and power weaving mockery and shame; it is nothing but small minded, judgmental hypocrisy.
Spend your entire life listening to people normalize hetero relationships and that becomes your normal; spend your entire life being exposed to the humiliation of those who’re considered “different” and following the code of behavior which does not incite mockery becomes your normal; spend your entire life watching people with psychological illnesses be called ‘cr*zy’ and ‘ins*ne’ and the avoidance of being labeled the same and in the process, behaving according to society’s rules and regulations becomes your normal; spend your entire life learning about dichotomies and binaries and that becomes your normal. Thus, to put simply, normal is more than the societally accepted way of behaving, it is something we’re conditioned to - a spiral sucking you in down to the dot at the center, suffocating and hindering you and your mind’s expansiveness.
When I think of “normalcy”, I think of what my family and friends, and even I at one point of time, used to refer to as being “normal”. I think of the clothes worn by actresses and dancers, that wasn’t normal, it was indecent and something worn only by the people in the film industry; people who were loud or flamboyant or funky or just indifferent to what society thought of them weren’t normal, they were cr*zy and those were the sort of people you found in a “mental hospital”; gay people weren’t normal, they were freaks of nature; thankfully, since being trans had a scientific explanation, that wasn’t not normal, but this condition could be applied to only people who were of the binary genders, non-binary was definitely not considered “normal”.
Apart from all this, “normal” is also a term used in place of “majority”. This may come as a shock to most, but what you assume to be a majority can in no way be called “normal”. Hence, teachers can’t generalize their students and assume that they’re all cishet, neurotypical and have no psychological illnesses.
I do not condone calling people “normal”, it’s the same as the whole “most girls” rhetoric – redundant and narrow-minded.
I’ve experienced humiliation and name calling for acting like a “cr*zy” person. I’ve been told to not “act like a r*tarded child” by my aunt. My uncle once told me I was, in fact, mentally challenged for he had met a lot of kids my age and none of them acted the way I did. One of my relatives told my cousin sister of age 7 to stop acting like an ins*ne person and proceeded to tell her how those people - who acted the way she was acting - were “locked up in a mental hospital because everyone thought they were mad people”.
I’ve seen and heard people calling gay people “abnormal” and unnatural just because they were gay. In cishet people’s eyes, queer people aren’t normal because-
A) The majority of the population were thought to be cishet
B) That was what they were used to and queer people were considered a “trend” or fad
C) Society had conditioned them that way .
Normalcy is a fallacy, it does not exist, it is the biggest scam ever after organized religion – but it still holds power, it can still break people, still make them drown in the feelings of insecurity and rejection, and if that isn’t enough for us to disown the entire concept, please tell me what is, for the last thing I want to do is be associated with something as disgusting as “normal”.
More Posts from Pisforpandemonium and Others
um, so I feel really buzz-y and blank and I genuinely cannot focus on anything, I have absolutely no motivation - it's not like I'm drained, but rather empty (if that difference makes sense). The socio thing is coming up, everyone's (Poline, Swathi and Rheena in our group) discussing about it, they even did a video call to discuss and they sent the points in the group, I said I wasn't in the mood for studying, so I didn't join the call - but everything just went over my head. I didn't read anything they sent and I'm not sure I'm going to cause my head's been feeling woozy and I don't know how I'm going to submit the damn assignment on Monday.
And I'm not stressed because I can't feel anything, I'm forcing my brain and my mind to atleast remember that there's an assignment due, but it's as if I have no object permenance - I don't even remember that there's this thing until or unless they talk about it, and when they do, I ignore it because it goes completely over my head.
I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to do anything this semester because it's been this way for months. Swathi was talking about exams prolly coming up and I was like shut the fuck up because I can't even imagine what's it going to be like ( I didn't tell her anything of course, cause it's a 'me' problem and not a 'they' problem ). I'm not scared, I'm not stressed, I don't feel anything and even as I'm sending this I don't feel any of this, I just feel empty and I know this is supposed to evoke some sort of tension, but it isn't, so I just don't know what to do.
I don't feel like touching anyone or being touched today (it's just like that sometimes), and it's a nonverbal day today, which means it takes so so much energy to talk and I really don't want to; but my cousin just told me she has "a lot of things to tell you!" and she's touchy-feely and I'm dreading this so fucking much but I don't know what to say to her because -
1. She's a kid
2. She gets upset very easily
And fuck, I just want to be alone
TW suicide
Um, I keep watching new shows and new books and stuff so that I could be like oh let this one be over oh let this get over so that I don't reach the peak of suicidal thought? And um I just want a new therapist and proper therapy plan so that I could get Better Or in scared that I will reach and maybe go over that peak maueb
the whole concept of karma is rooted in casteist beliefs - getting what you deserve? being born into a particular style of life because of the actions of your previous life? suffering or being privileged in the life you have at present because of the actions of your ancestors/as a consequence of the actions of your previous life? all of the above = used to perpetuate casteism. The whole foundation of the caste system stands on this concept, of being born into a particular caste because of what you did in your previous life(-ves). Apart from it being casteist, I personally, don't agree with any of this. People do not get what they deserve (don't read it using a cynical tone, I'm using a matter of fact tone); a small child who has a chronic illness that's sure to result in death has not warranted it, no matter what they must or must not have done in their so called past life - that is, if you believe in such a concept - warrants such a form of suffering; a person who has been or is being abused does not deserve it, again, same reasoning; a horrible person who gets to get away with all the horrible things they've done don't deserve that, but it still happens; a person having a debilitating illness hinders who're their supposed to be isn't what they deserve; people being discriminated against for being a certain way, being born a certain way or whatever isn't because of their previous life ka actions or because they somehow deserve it; there are people who're doing good in life even though they've done bad actions and vice versa, there are people who did bad™ things which had bad consequences with good intentions, there are people who've done good their entire life but who still suffer, who's to say who deserves what, who's to say who deserves something because they must've been bad in their previous life, what gives an outsider the right to judge someone this way; your child being a "troublemaker" (that's a censored term BTW) isn't because you did something bad in your previous life and this is your fate now - I don't even want to begin to point out everything's that wrong and insensitive and messed up about that; you having a privileged life, being born into a family that's privileged, isn't because your ancestors did something great or worked harder than the ancestors of a family which is suffering (socially/economically, whichever), a family which isn't as privileged as yours - that's a very problematic thing to say, not only because of how ignorant and doused in privilege it is, but also because of how casteist it is. It sounds holier than thou, as if what your ancestors did was morally superior, in any way superior, and that the other person's marginalisation is because their ancestors weren't good enough, didn't do enough - you being born into a good, comfortable home was because your ancestors were somehow better than that person's, who's now suffering in life. My grandfather has used this argument so many times to point out the why to which I was born into the family I was born into and not into a family like our neighbor's, who aren't as privileged or well-to-do as we are, apparently it's because they all worked harder and did their "duties" (another term which pisses the fuck out of me) properly and so I was also gifted with this life, wtfffffff. Karma isn't simply tit for tat, there's much more to it - this concept implies that what people get in life is what they asked for through their actions (karma also refers to all your actions in your previous being accumulated and you having to face the consequence or the fruits of it in your following lives) which is fucking victim blame-y, a scapegoat and I do not stand by it. It could offer solace to people - the whole concept, I mean - when something bad's been done to them, I understand that, but that's a personal 'I want to feel good, so I'll believe in this' thing, and that's upto you, but on a wider scale, I'm not at all comfortable with people saying that 'karma' is the reason for what happens to people in life. It honestly disgusts me.
me, thinking: *don't say it, don't say it, istg if you say it-*
my family: "it's for your own good, we're only thinking about what's best for you"
me: *control, deep breaths, control, deep breaths, control, deep brea-*
family: "if we didn't care about you, we wouldn't say all this to you"
me: *BOOM* *EXPLOSION*
PLEASE STOP GIVING A SHIT ABOUT ME IF THAT'S THE REASON FOR Y'ALL TO SAY INSENSITIVE, CONTROLLING BULLSHIT
"you're tired? How are you tired??? You barely do anything the entire day"
I wake up when my body tells me to just duck everything and stay in bed the entire day, I take a shower when all I feel like is to lay on the fucking bathroom floor under the hot water, I eat lunch when I have 0 appetite, I live when my brain has fucking suicidal ideations daily. Don't fucking tell me I do barely anything because having a fucked up mental health affects you physically too
I deleted my previous rant in the hope that my post would be posted since the reason they showed was I had reached my limit, but nope. hahahahaha🙂
OPINIONS
This is kindddd of an unpopular opinion, but...
I don't really think it's "morally wrong" for straight guys to watch gxg porn and feel turned on by it, I think it's only an issue if these guys meet a wlw and ask them if they're up for a threesome or something like that because they believe a wlw's sexuality is somehow connected to them or that a wlw somehow exists to cater to their sexual fantasies. Of course I acknowledge the fact that just because straight guys watch gxg porn, it doesn't mean that they're not homophobic/biphobic. I can acknowledge both of the above at the same time - it doesn't exist in dichotomies.
There's a huge difference between the two.
I think it's important to know that there's a difference between reading a particular genre of erotica or watching a type of porn but NOT wanting to have anything to do with that in real life. And I don't think erotica/porn actually influences people in such a way to such a large extent like how most people make it out to.
Just like how, when people read or write fanfiction, though they imagine their characters to be like this person, they don't usually *_identify_* the character with the person - I think that difference is important. Like, when I read Larry fanfics, I don't identify Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson to their character, I imagine their relationship dynamic, but I don't think of real life Louis and real life Harry doing whatever it is that's written in the fanfic - except for a rare few people, literally no one does that. But a lotta people don't understand that difference and that results in them being against fanfiction altogether.
//
One thing I don't like about 'one night stand' culture is how people make it out to be "fucking and dumping" and that shouldn't be so.
Sex is a form of intimacy and we're human beings, after doing something that requires both physical and emotional effort/energy, we need to feel soft, we need to feel safe. So the cuddling after sex or the resting for some time after sex together to feel like a person who had sex with a person and not like just a toy is super important. In books, they kinda make it sound like staying till the morning after and grabbing breakfast together ruins the whole "it's an only sex relationship", when in fact people need that to not feel like they've been used, it's extremely valid. It doesn't mean they have a _romantic_ connection per say, but they do have a connection because having sex is a vulnerable thing, no matter how hard a person tries to keep emotions and feelings separate, that doesn't happen. But just because you feel emotions doesn't mean that you necessarily want to date the other person, it just means you did something intimate and meaningful together - and you can have that vaala relationship and connection with how many ever people you want. But not actually talking after or having aftercare later does affect the person's mental health.
I think that's why so many people are against one night stand/only sex culture, when instead of being against that, they should stress on the importance of aftercare and communication.
I just want someone to be soft with me and cuddle me and call me baby, is that too much to ask for :')
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